Chapter 12
Chapter Twelve
N o amount of hot water thrumming down on Danielle could remove the feeling of Zach’s arms around her or the sensation of his lips pressed to hers. Even now, hours later, standing in the shower couldn’t get rid of the pure joy she had felt when he leaned down and kissed her.
It was like all the broken pieces of her life were brought back together to make her whole again. A feeling she’d forgotten how to feel.
And now, she was pretty sure that every heartbreak, every moment of their lives, was to bring them closer together. Things with Isaac had been great. But her fate with Zach was written in the stars.
He was meant to be hers, and she his.
Except…she had this secret. This life-altering secret.
Jesse.
She’d kept the one link to Isaac from the Stedman family. How was she ever going to explain to them that she’d robbed them of eight years with Isaac’s son?
Isaac’s parents would never forgive—they still hadn’t. And Zach? She was sure he cared about her, but would he still want anything to do with her when he found out about the truth she’d been keeping secret?
The hot water beat down on her as she leaned against the wall and sobbed.
What a giant mess she’d made of her life. Of Jesse’s life. Of Isaac’s memory. What had started out as an act of self-preservation didn’t seem like that anymore.
Looking back, she realized how selfish she’d been. How keeping Jesse away from a family that would have loved him was wrong.
But she’d made a choice and how was she supposed to change it now? Was it worth it for Zach and the Stedman’s to hate her more? Would telling the truth put Jesse in the middle of the lie she started? That was the last thing she wanted for her son.
There was a soft knock on the door, pulling Danielle’s attention over to the door. Realizing she was probably draining the building’s meager hot water tank, she turned off the water and grabbed a towel, wrapping it around her body.
“Hang on,” she called toward the door as she toweled off.
“Hey, Danielle? There’s a realtor here.” Sunny’s voice was muffled by the closed door.
Confused, Danielle threw on her robe and pulled open the door as she wrapped her hair up into the towel. “A what?”
Sunny shrugged. “A realtor? Said she has a meeting with you.”
Not sure how to even respond, Danielle made her way into the kitchen where she found an extremely well-dressed woman sitting at her table. She was glancing around with a wrinkled nose as she clasped her hands together in her lap.
“Hello?” Danielle asked as she approached.
The woman jumped and stood. Her eyebrows went up as her gaze ran over Danielle but then she extended her hand. “Joy Thorpe,” she said.
Danielle shook her hand and then dropped it to hold the opening of her robe closed. “I think there’s been a mistake. I’m not—I can’t move.”
Joy shook her head. “Oh, I’m here at the request of Mr. Stedman.”
“Zach?”
Joy parted her lips as her cheeks flushed. “That’s right. Zach.”
Feeling more confused than ever, Danielle studied her. “I’m lost.”
Joy smiled as she sat down and pulled out a binder from her bag that was propped up next to her chair. “Mr. Stedman has asked me to help you find an apartment.”
Not sure she was hearing Joy right, Danielle sat down on the chair next to her and then turned to really look her. “Zach thought I needed a realtor? Why? I never told him I wanted to move.”
Joy must have felt uncomfortable under Danielle’s scrutiny because she shifted as she cleared her throat. “Mr. Stedman is looking at investing in properties and wants you to pick one.” She raised her eyebrows like that was enough of an explanation for Danielle.
“Investment property,” Danielle repeated as she stared at the wood grain of the tabletop. “He wants to be my landlord?”
Joy shifted, causing Danielle to bring her attention back to her. Realizing that she was talking to herself, Danielle shook her head. For some reason, she didn’t want Joy to discover how confused she felt. What if she went back and reported to Zach?
“I’ll be right back,” Danielle said. “I, um, am going to get dressed.” She stood and made her way to her bedroom. After she shut the door, she collapsed on her bed and closed her eyes. What was happening to her?
On the one hand, it would be amazing for both her and Jesse to get out of this dump. But on the other hand, this was the last thing she wanted. Not when she felt so confused about her relationship with Zach or what that meant for Jesse. If she was going to keep herself safe from Zach then she needed to keep herself as far away from Zach as she could.
She dressed quickly and after brushing her hair, she pulled it up into a messy bun. Feeling better prepared to face whatever was happening out in her kitchen, she pulled open the door and stepped out.
Muffled voices could be heard as she approached. Once she came into view, her heart stopped.
Zach was sitting at her table, looking completely relaxed. He had on a dark blue t-shirt and jeans. One of his legs was extended out while his elbow rested on the chair next to him. The thought to run and hide under her bed raced through her mind, but she pushed it out. She wasn’t a chicken. She could face him.
But when his gaze met hers as she approached, all of her resolve flew out the window. She swallowed as heat rushed to her cheeks and settled there.
Great. Nothing like walking around with a neon red sign plastered on her face.
She kept her eyes down as she settled on the chair farthest from him. Thankfully, Joy started to speak, allowing Danielle to focus her attention on the woman.
“So, here are some apartments that are available.” She shoved the binder to Danielle.
Confused, Danielle began to flip through the files. Why was she asking Danielle to choose? Wasn’t this Zach’s investment?
When no one spoke, she peered up at Zach who was watching her. The intensity in his eyes caused her heart to hammer in her chest. This was too much. All of this.
“Am I supposed to pick?” she asked. Her voice was barely a whisper as she studied the two-story condo in front of her.
“Well, I thought…” From the corner of Danielle’s eye, she saw Joy glance over at Zach.
Zach didn’t look fazed as he leaned forward. “Yes. And I want you to be my first tenant.”
Confusion filled Danielle’s mind as she studied him. What did he just say? “Excuse me?”
Zach cleared his throat as he glanced from Joy over to Danielle. “I want you to be my first tenant.” He met her gaze. “This place should be condemned. I mean, this place is months away from crumbling into oblivion.”
Even thought Danielle knew what Zach was saying was very true and something that she’d complained about more times than she could count, hearing Zach talk about her home like this made her angry. She stood up from the table, anger coursing through her veins.
“Can I speak to you?” she asked, nodding toward the door.
Zach’s eyebrows went up but he nodded. “Um, yeah. Sure.” He stood and followed her out of the apartment.
Once they were out in the hall and the door was closed behind them, she whipped around to find Zach staring at her with an equally determined expression.
“What the heck are you doing?” she asked. She let out her breath as she tried to calm her nerves.
Zach didn’t look fazed by her frustration. Instead he shoved his hands into his front pockets and glanced around. “What are you talking about?”
“This?” She waved toward her front door. “Coming to fix my house.” Out of instinct, she lowered her voice as she said, “The kiss.”
Zach’s gaze snapped to her just as the last two words left her lips. He studied her for a moment before he lowered his eyes to the carpet beneath their feet. “Danielle, I—”
“Zach our past is over,” she interrupted when she realized that she was leaving the door wide open for whatever Zach wanted to say. She needed to control the flow of information between them. If she let him speak to freely, he just might say something that they could never take back.
Her meaning wasn’t lost on him as he cleared his throat and straightened, pushing his hands through his hair. “Danielle, we were friends. Why can’t we be that again?”
A hollow ache settled in her chest at his words. They had been friends. Why couldn’t she bring herself to let them be friends again? But then so many reasons began rushing through her thoughts.
Jesse. Isaac. His parents. Her heart. She didn’t want to face any of those things, but if she allowed Zach back into her life she would have to. It was much better for everyone if she just walked away. Cut ties before either of them became too invested. It really was the best thing for all involved.
“It’s just not going to work. We”—she waved her hand back and forth between them—“are not going to work. The sooner we realize that the better. We need to move on. The one thing connecting us is gone. Isaac is gone.” Her voice dropped to a whisper as the pain and heartache that had taken her years to get over was creeping back into her soul.
Zach was silent as he kept his gaze trained on the stain in front of her feet. “And if I want it to be different?” he asked, slowly bringing his gaze up to meet hers.
The amount of pain and heartache in his eyes took her breath away. He was hurting just like she was. She wanted to tell him she wasn’t telling the truth. That she needed him in ways she couldn’t explain. That having him around was filling a part of her soul that she didn’t know was missing—or at least a part she’d never admitted was missing until the moment she spoke to him again.
But there was too much pain and history between them. If she cared about him, she’d let him go. It made the most sense. For everyone.
“It’s for the best, Zach. We can’t keep going down this path. We’ll only hurt each other in the meantime. Let’s call it what it was and move on.”
He considered her and then a forced smile spread across his lips. “Move on.” He began to pace, his agitation as palpable as the humid as Georgia air. “I’m not sure—”
“It’s for the best.” Her heart ached with each word she spoke, but she had to say them.
He cleared his throat and then paused. Then, as if he’d realized that this was a fight he wasn’t going win, his shoulders sagged and he nodded. “Fine. We’ll go back to interviewer and sports player getting interviewed.” He nodded as he gave her a weak smile.
“Zach…” His name escaped her lips before she could stop it. Here she was forcing him away and then in one word, she was pulling him back. What was wrong with her?
He studied her face as he waited for her response.
“You’ll be just fine without me,” she said as she nodded and then before she could stop herself, she turned the door handle and slipped into her apartment before he could respond.
Just as she shut the door, she swore she heard him say, “What if I’m not?” But then she shook away that thought. It was just her imagination making things up. She was an emotional wreck and was making things up. It was better to just move on.
Zach Stedman was out of her life.
Hallelujah.