Chapter Sixteen
Kyle
Kyle kept an eye on everything that was happening as he sipped his beer.
He’d only have one and then switch to water. Aiden had made fun of him for being a health nut, but he really was a health nut. He made rare exceptions, like Maddy’s desserts and the occasional alcoholic drink.
Evans was holding a fussing Em while chatting up the two blondes.
To Murdock’s delight, his blonde—Pamela or Portia, something like that— had given up on chasing him around the woods and settled in to share Evans with her friend.
Kyle could have told her that she’d never keep up with Cal in the woods if he didn’t want to be found.
The brunette was still standing by his side, prattling on about her hair appointment with him and John, and thrusting her barely-covered breasts in his face at every opportunity. He wasn’t listening and by the noncommital noises John was making at the appropriate moments, he was sure that John wasn’t either.
He seemed to be more withdrawn lately, and that was something Kyle needed to check in with him about. Jace as well. The man had been getting along better with the guys, but he drew the line at attending the cookout.
Wyatt had promised to smuggle him up some burgers and beer later.
The girls laughed and tossed their hair around while Wyatt gave them his entire attention.
Really, where the hell had he found these girls? It was uncomfortable as fuck.
Madison was going back and forth from the kitchen setting up the table with food and flatware and refilling the cooler. He was enjoying watching her as she worked. The domesticity of it pleased him, though he didn’t dwell on why.
He noticed she was keeping a close eye on Emmie, and that made him inexplicably proud.
She was a good mother. He couldn’t believe how she’d managed to cope with taking care of a baby, a house, and working so much.
She was strong, and he liked that. She could withstand…stuff.
“Excuse me. Can you get me a refill?” the brunette said, pausing her diatribe about the nail tech that had ruined her nails to call out to Maddy.
He and John looked at her as she waggled the empty glass she had thrust out to Madison.
Even Wyatt had stopped to frown at her.
Madison just looked at it a moment before shaking herself. “Uh, of course. What are you drinking?”
Madison started to set down the heavy pan, but Kyle would have none of it. The bitch hadn’t even said please.
“I’ll get it, Maddy. You finish up here so you can sit down with us when we eat.”
Kyle snatched the brunette’s beer glass from her and stalked the five feet to the cooler before popping the top and pouring the beverage. His anger was controlled, but it still simmered.
Maddy wasn’t a servant and he’d be damned before he let some skank from the city treat her like one. The only reason he was being so polite to the strangers was that they’d been invited by Wyatt and he wouldn’t treat a guest badly unless he was forced to.
Maddy gave him a small smile and he winked at her.
She giggled and he knew she was remembering their conversation in the kitchen. He found it hard to take his eyes off her. She was only working, but it seemed like the most fascinating thing ever at the moment, especially considering the company.
Her hair was swinging in the braid she always kept it in while cooking, and he had the urge to release it from its tie and separate the strands, running his fingers through them and watching the way the sun illuminated the many colors.
The sundress she wore was modest, yet alluring. The small, blue flowers gave her skin a milky glow and made her green and copper eyes stand out like precious stones. The white apron added a touch that he could only describe as ‘wifely’ in his mind…and that was dangerous.
He swallowed and turned away from the overwhelming feelings…and found John staring at him with sad amusement.
“Man…you’ve got it bad, brother.”
“I do not. Maddy is married.”
“Happily?” John asked, taking a swig of his drink and watching her as she came back from the kitchen.
“Doesn’t matter. Married is married. I won’t ever come between a woman and her husband,” he said, ending the conversation.
“Even if you love her?” John asked.
“Even then, but I don’t.”
“Even if she loves you back?” John retorted.
His heart stuttered to a stop and the ache in his chest almost became unbearable.
It wasn’t possible. Madison didn’t love him. It wasn’t true. She loved her husband. She had a baby with her husband. She was a nice person, a mother, and a good worker.
She didn’t love him. There wasn’t even a chance. There couldn’t be.
“She doesn’t. How many beers have you had?” he scoffed.
John grinned. “Not enough to block out all the lovesick glances y’all are firing off like fifty-cal rounds.”
“Asshole,” Kyle grumbled and left him with Barbie in retaliation.
He’d finally had enough of watching Evans trying to juggle the baby and get into the girls’ too-short shorts simultaneously. He set down his beer and plucked Em from his arms.
The baby looked up at him in consternation for a moment before she started to settle.
He took her inside, trying to ignore the way her warm, sweet weight felt in his arms. God, she was small, even with those triple chins.
When Madison had asked him if he wanted kids, he’d lied his ass off. The truth was, he did want kids, but he’d long ago given up on having them. He had to find a woman that he loved and respected first, and that just hadn’t happened for him.
The only one that he could see having anything with was already taken.
Madison turned from the cabinet and smiled. Her eyes lit up when she saw him and as much as he wanted to believe what John said, he knew it wasn’t true. She was happy to see Em again, that was all.
“I think she might need a diaper or something,” he said, studying the baby’s tiny toes. They were so tiny, it was astounding to think that she’d grow into a regular-size person someday.
“I’ll take her now. Everything in here is finished and Aiden can handle the rest,” she said.
He handed her over, reluctantly, and watched as Madison bustled around gathering up the diaper bag and baby carrier with her free hand.
“You can change her on my bed,” he said, leading her toward his room.
He opened the door but left the light off. The window gave off enough light and he didn’t want to hurt the baby’s eyes with the overhead. It was nice and calm after the bright sunshine and insipid conversation outside.
He wanted to stay in here with Madison and the baby but knew that would be weird, plus he was expected back outside.
“Come join us when you finish.”
She smiled her thanks and began laying out a blanket to put Emma on. He gave her one last nod and left the room, shutting the door.
The walk back to the kitchen didn’t take nearly long enough, and he hoped that the brunette had shifted her fire onto someone else. John didn’t seem to like her much either, but Wyatt was more than capable of handling the three of them.
In fact, he considered it an appropriate punishment for the man’s disastrous invitation.
He pulled his cap a bit lower over his eyes and stayed to the shadows on the porch while he sought out a scowling Murdock, who’d decided to leave the woods in search of food.
“I hate people,” Murdock spat, wiping his dirty hands on his pants and adjusting his own cap over his sweaty blonde hair.
He rested his hand near the pistol in the concealed holster on his back, taking comfort from its heavy presence. Kyle often found himself doing the same thing, though he’d taken to wearing it less around the house now. Wyatt said it might be off-putting to the guests.
Kyle chuckled.
“I’m serious,” Murdock argued. “That one tried to get in my pants in the woods,” he said, nodding his head toward the blond in the pink shorts. “Got down on her knees and started messing with my buttons and everything. I thought I was going to have to take her down and truss her up like a feral hog.”
“The fuck?!” Kyle said, disgusted. “Who does that?”
“I’m considering breaking both of Wyatt’s arms after this is over,” he said, crossing his arms.
“I won’t stop you,” Kyle said, mirroring Murdock’s posture. He paused a moment then spoke. “Cal…”
Murdock waited, but Kyle only sighed. “Never mind.”
“What?” Murdock insisted.
“Nothing.”
“Tell me now or I’ll call over your new friend,” he said, nodding toward the brunette who’d finally left him alone.
“You wouldn’t dare.”
“I dare anything,” Murdock said truthfully.
“I just wondered if what Madison told you had anything to do with her husband.”
Murdock leaned against the wall and let his breath out in a gust. “I told you, he doesn’t know and she won’t tell him. I can’t tell you any more than that.”
“So, she isn’t…leaving him?” Kyle murmured.
Murdock’s gaze shot to his face and he had to steel himself to keep his own expression impassive. “I just need to know if my employee will need more hours.”
Cal’s lips twitched. “That’s it, huh? You’re just being a good boss?” He snorted and Kyle waited. “She didn’t say that she was doing anything of the sort. What’s happened is…happening to her and not the other way around. I don’t think it has anything to do with her husband at all.”
“Then why won’t she tell me?!” Kyle exploded. “Something is bothering her and she won’t ask for help. She won’t tell me a damned thing!”
The others didn’t hear his outburst, but from the way John was watching him, he’d caught the volatile expressions on his face.
“Why do you care so much, Top? If you won’t let yourself take her, then you need to stay in your lane as her boss and her friend. She has no obligation to tell you anything,” Murdock reminded him.
Kyle scrubbed his face. He was right. He was right, damn it. He didn’t know why the situation was getting him so worked up. He’d known Madison for a few weeks and already things were getting all tangled up. It had all happened so fast.
Shit. He was just infatuated, that’s all it was. Once the newness and his weird obsession with his married cook wore off, things would go back to normal.
Plain, boring, lonely normal.
He found that he didn’t want that.
∞∞∞
He left the late summer garden, now stripped of most of its vegetables, and went back to the deck where Aiden was calling for everyone to come and eat.
His mastery of the grill had given him a confidence that he lacked most of the time.
Kyle thought more of that confidence was just under the surface. He was still the same man he’d been before the attack, a Green Beret like him, and that didn’t just go away. The skills were there, and so was the knowledge. He just needed time and understanding.
Jace…Jace was going to be harder.
The issues he was dealing with went way beyond physical. Where Aiden had a touch of PTSD like any man who’d been in combat or been wounded, Jace had enough for a whole damned platoon.
It was going to be a struggle for him to learn to adapt and not overcompensate for any outside stimuli that triggered him. The first step would be getting him to open up more and to be more comfortable in his surroundings.
“I do not understand how you guys can eat that much,” Pamela said, eyeing Murdock’s three cheeseburgers with horror.
“I’m not a fucking skeleton. I require actual food to live,” he rumbled, staring pointedly at her little pile of lettuce.
Her friend snickered and elbowed her under the table while she glared at the big man. Wyatt looked thrilled with the impending fight and John’s mind seemed far away.
There was an empty chair for Madison next to Murdock, but she still hadn’t come out.
“Have you seen Madison?” he asked the man. “I haven’t seen her since she took the baby in.”
“I don’t see why she can’t just eat in the kitchen,” the brunette said. He still didn’t know her name, and he didn’t care. “My dad never let the help eat with us.”
“Well, your dad’s also in prison now for stealing his client’s money, so I’m guessing he wasn’t such a paragon,” the other blonde chided.
“You are such a bitch. I don’t even know why you’re my best friend,” the brunette said, rolling her eyes.
“Psssh. You love me,” the girl retorted, draining her cup yet again. “Besides, you never would have made it if it wasn’t for me hooking you up with that old man.”
They all started laughing as the men looked on in astonishment and antipathy.
Even Wyatt seemed to be second-guessing his evening plans with them.
Aiden was at the head of the table in his wheelchair. The girls had temporarily given him attention because of the eyepatch and the scars, but when he refused to play the game, they left him alone and returned to Wyatt.
John was eating next to him. Murdock had taken his food and water and left, probably for the woods.
Kyle decided to go inside and find Madison. He’d lost his appetite.
The kitchen was silent and still. The dishes were piled neatly near the sink and it struck him yet again that she refused to use the dishwasher and preferred to wash them by hand. He passed through the door and into the hallway.
Everything was completely quiet.
He went into the living room, maybe expecting to find Madison playing with Emmie on the rug, but there was nobody there. Had she gone upstairs to see Jace? He knew she hadn’t left because her car was still here and he would have seen her, even if she’d gone through the front. Plus, she’d never leave dishes for someone else to clean up. She had to be here somewhere.
He had a sudden thought and went back to his room.
The door opened without a sound and he peered into the room. His breath caught when he saw Maddy and Em curled up on the big bed together, fast asleep. Her dress draped over her curvy hips and thighs and fell into a beautiful waterfall of material onto his plain bed. Em was curled up into a little ball next to Maddy’s chest, her mouth opened slightly in a tiny pout with traces of milk on her chin. Her downy blond hair shone in the dim sunlight and she looked perfect.
He felt a smile tugging at his lips as he studied her makeshift wall of pillows and diaper bag to keep Em from rolling off. From the way she had her arms curled around the baby, he didn’t think Em could move one inch without her knowing about it and waking up immediately.
He was walking closer and studying the two and how similar their faces were when he noticed Maddy’s dress was unbuttoned. The lace edge of her bra was showing and he saw more cleavage than he would ever be able to get out of his mind.
He turned away and tried not to think about it, about how nice it would be to lay on the other side of the bed, curled up with them…his own family. The longing was fierce, stronger than almost anything he’d ever felt.
His chest clenched and he left the room, wanting more than ever to forget his morals.
∞∞∞
He finished his meal and chatted with the others while he waited for Maddy to wake up.
He was relieved when Wyatt left promising to get the girls back to their street corner safely. One of the blondes seemed to think that was the funniest thing she’d ever heard while the other two scowled.
He wondered for a moment if Wyatt would still spend the evening with one or more of them. He hoped not. He hoped the man had more respect for himself than that, but he just didn’t know.
Wyatt Evans was a complicated man.
The world saw a man concerned only with the next conquest, the next challenge—however meager it might be—but Kyle knew better. Wyatt was using women the same way another man might use drugs, alcohol, or—and he was thinking of himself here—even exercise and work.
He blocked out the bad memories with sex and Kyle didn’t know how to help him, or even if he could. He supposed one day the man might get tired of it. Maybe he’d find someone and settle down and learn some slightly better coping methods. He hoped so anyway.
Murdock came back as soon as they left, and Kyle figured he’d been watching from the treeline. John slapped Aiden on the shoulder and complimented the meal, but he soon took his leave as well.
Madison came out eventually, as the sun began to touch the trees, a bit blearily and with shadows under her eyes. She had a line on her cheek from the pillow.
She looked horrified and embarrassed and adorable.
“I’m so sorry, Kyle. I am so embarrassed. I can’t believe I fell asleep on your bed when I was supposed to be working!”
He held his arms out for Emmie and she handed her over without even thinking about it.
Kyle had very little experience with babies, but he soon figured out how she wanted to be held. Maddy herself was looking a bit dumbfounded that she just handed her baby over to her boss without meaning to. She moved to take her back, but Kyle waved her off.
“Grab some food. I’ll hold her while you eat.”
Her brow furrowed and he could feel Murdock’s scrutiny. “Are you sure? I eat and hold her all the time. I’m used to it,” she insisted.
“Maddy, get your food and eat. That’s an order,” he said lightly, gently bouncing Em in his arms. The baby seemed to enjoy it, and yawned, flashing her toothless gums. He grinned down at the bundle.
“This is cozy,” Cal said, a mocking light in his eyes. “I could get used to this.”
Kyle glared at him. “Not one more word.”
Murdock held his hands up in surrender and leaned back in his chair. Madison was making a hamburger at the table and piling some other food on her plate.
“I’m glad she eats,” Kyle said. “I don’t understand those women who eat a stick of celery and say they’re full.”
“She needs to eat more,” Murdock says. “She’s lost weight since she started working here.”
Kyle looked nonplussed. “Really?”
He studied her as she reached for the fries. Cal was right, she did look a bit thinner.
“She needs to eat more. She’s nursing the baby and shouldn’t be losing,” Cal clarified.
Kyle stared at him. That explained the unbuttoned dress.
The image of her lying bare-breasted on his bed just about did him in. Only the baby in his arms kept the situation from getting embarrassing. He’d never be able to get the image from his mind though, and he knew it would haunt him tonight when he went to lie down.
“You think she’s trying to lose weight?” Kyle asked, keeping his mind firmly in more appropriate territory.
“I think she’s so damned busy that she doesn’t stop to eat.”
Maddy came back toward them, smiling when she caught him watching her. He felt out of place for a moment, like he was in a stranger’s shoes…her husband’s. He brushed that thought away and pulled her chair out for her without jostling the baby.
“Thanks,” she said, sitting down. “This looks great. I haven’t had a cheeseburger in forever.”
“Chow down, woman, and go back for seconds,” Cal growled grimly. “You’re just about skin and bones.”
She scoffed.