Chapter Seventeen
Madison
Madison finished her food and did not go back for more even though Murdock heckled her about it. She was stuffed.
It was starting to get dark as she leaned back and let Em rest on her chest. She patted the baby’s diapered bottom as the men spoke quietly. Kyle lit the torches as the sun sank in the sky and the mosquitos started to get more prevalent.
She felt as if she’d fallen into a kind of fairy tale scene that she knew would end at any second.
Kyle was not her husband. Em wasn’t his child. Cal wasn’t their best friend. This wasn’t her home.
She sighed and kissed the downy head under her chin, feeling the creeping despair skulking its way toward her again. It seemed like every time she let it get close, it was worse than the last time.
She looked around to distract herself. The air was a little chilly after the heat of the day. The trees on the mountain were beginning to change. The seasons were about to shift—she could feel it in the air.
Fall was so close and in some ways, she couldn’t wait, in others, she dreaded it.
The passage of time was terrifying to her. Her babies were growing so fast and she was getting older. She found one grey hair while looking in the mirror the other day, and while it seemed to be the only one for now, it was a terrible reminder that she wasn’t getting younger.
It seemed a bit silly to be thinking about that, to be worrying about it, she was only twenty-nine. Thirty was close though, and then forty, and on and on. Her life was slipping through her fingers and she had nobody to share it with. Her kids would grow up and leave and then she’d be alone.
It was ironic that even if Rob was still around, she would still be growing old alone.
Kyle’s arm brushed hers where they sat together, and she let the wash of warmth pool in her belly at the sensation. She was so lost in it, that she didn’t notice when the conversation faded and the guys were staring at her.
“What?” she asked, red-faced. “I’m sorry. I was thinking about something.”
“I just wondered where Em stays when you work,” Kyle said. “I know it can’t be easy being apart from her for so long,” he said gently.
He was right.
It was a torturous feeling to be away from her baby and the other kids for so much of each day. The only time she got with them was a couple of hours at night and even then they couldn’t just play together, they had school lessons and then bedtime.
“She stays with a friend, an older woman who lives next door,” she said carefully. “I do miss her, but I don’t have a choice,” she said baldly. “I have to work.”
“Your husband can get a better job,” Murdock muttered, raising an eyebrow at his cup of melting ice. “Or a second job.”
She froze.
“Cal, that’s not fair and you know it. Jobs are hard to come by, and I’m sure he’s doing his best,” Kyle argued, giving her a supportive nod.
She was grateful for coming to the defense of her dead husband, but this was all getting too weird and honestly, much too intimate. She was afraid of having a slip of the tongue. It would ruin everything.
“I had better go start on the dishes. It’s getting late,” she said, standing and cradling Em more closely.
“I’ll help you,” Kyle said, standing abruptly and putting a hand on her lower back to guide her around the chair. She didn’t need his help, but she appreciated it just the same.
“Murdock, wrap up five or six of those burgers and send them home with Maddy along with a bunch of that other stuff.”
“Kyle, no. I can’t take your food,” she started.
He put his hands on her biceps. “Maddy, you and Aiden made enough food to feed an entire company of men. Trust me, we are going to need all the help we can get eating it before it spoils.”
There was a lot of food and he sounded sincere.
“Thanks.”
She put a sleeping Emma in her car seat while she washed up the dishes. Kyle dried them and put them away, teasing her about leaving invisible water spots on the glasses. She flicked bubbles at him and laughed when they landed in his hair.
He glared at her and ‘accidentally’ let a pot slip from his hands and back into the sudsy water, the water splashed up onto them both and she couldn’t help but dissolve into laughter as she wiped herself off.
He turned toward her and gave her a sexy grin. “You’ve got some on your face.”
Before she could wipe her face, he raised the dishcloth and dried the drips of water that trailed from her cheek to her jaw. His hand was covered with the cloth and there was no skin contact, but she burned just the same.
She felt electricity crackling between them, much as it had earlier and had been since they met. She started to lean in and the wanting in his eyes scorched her. He stayed still, letting her make the move and she wondered why. He didn’t seem like the passive type.
Then, she remembered. He thought she was married.
Her stomach churned and twisted itself into knots. He was going to think she was disloyal, a cheater.
She pulled away and quickly picked up a dirty plate. “I’m sorry.”
He cleared his throat. “There’s nothing to apologize for,” he said gruffly, not looking at her.
Em started to fuss and she knew she needed to hurry and get home. She was already later than she should have been. She had to get up early in the morning to work at the bookshop too.
“Why don’t you go ahead and go? I’ve got this,” he said, still focusing on the sink. There were only a few dishes left, but she still felt guilty for neglecting her work.
“Okay, but I want you to take a couple of hours from my next paycheck. I fell asleep, and now I’m saddling you with the dishes…”
“No can do,” he said, his back to her. “I practically forced you to come today. The least I can do is compensate you for your time.”
She didn’t like the sudden distance in his voice. It hurt, even though she knew it was for the best. There couldn’t be anything between them, not right now and maybe not ever. She had to catch up on money and the lies were piled higher than her laundry back home.
She knew instinctively that Kyle Logan wasn’t a man to easily forgive lies.
She just hoped that he’d give her a chance to explain before throwing her out, should it come to that.
“I had a good time today,” she said, wanting to ease the tension between them before she left.
He whirled around and looked at her like she was crazy. “Are you kidding? After putting up with Wyatt’s strippers and then having to cook for everyone?”
She laughed. “I believe the politically correct term is ‘exotic dancer’,” she corrected.
“Whatever,” he said, rolling his eyes playfully.
“I enjoyed spending time talking to everyone…and you,” she said hesitantly, picking at the buttons on her dress.
His eyes followed her fingers and the fire was suddenly back in them as he traced her curves with his eyes.
He was checking her out.
“I enjoyed spending time with you too,” he said. “I’d like it if we could do more sometime…maybe go for a walk along the trails or something…as friends?”
She smiled and nodded. “That sounds wonderful. I don’t have many friends,” she confided.
“What about next Saturday?”
She looked over at Emmie, who studied them both from her car seat.
“Bring Em too. It’ll be good for her. Give her a bit of exposure to the mountains before John has her rolling in the mud and eating fish caught with snake bones and shoestrings.”
She snickered as she considered it. She should say no. She shouldn’t encourage him. When he found out everything she told him was a lie, it would just hurt them both that much more.
She couldn’t though.
“Saturday is great. Noon?”
He dried his hands, picked up the diaper bag, and looped it over his shoulder. She was surprised when he flipped the car seat handle up and picked Emmie up too.
“Got your keys and your purse?” he asked, waiting for her in the doorway.
“Yep.”
“I’ll walk you out,” he said, carrying the baby and the gear as if it weighed nothing. To him, it probably didn’t weigh much at all.
She followed him out and unlocked the car. He put the seat in and allowed her to show him how to fasten the belt and latch everything in. She shut the door and opened her own.
He stopped her with a simple touch on her hand.
“Maddy, I won’t cross the line. I want you to know that,” he started before running a hand through his hair. “I’m not going to lie…I wish there could be more between us, but I won’t ever do anything to jeopardize your marriage or your home life. I swear it to you. I respect you too much.”
The intensity in his eyes trapped her. He was so serious and so honest.
Her heart hurt and her head started to pound. She felt nauseous and the weight of her dishonesty came back and rested on her shoulders like an anvil. It pushed her down, down, down to Hell where she probably belonged for doing what she was doing to this good man.
“I believe you,” she said. “I respect you too, Kyle, for everything you’ve done in your life, for this place…for me.”
There was nothing else she could say, but it was important to her that she tell him that, even if there came a time when he didn’t believe it. She did respect him, more than anyone else she’d ever met.
A tentative smile flashed on his face before dissolving into a look she couldn’t decipher. It looked almost melancholy.
“I’ll see you tomorrow afternoon?” he asked.
She put a hand on his forearm and felt it flex under her fingers. “I’ll be here.”
∞∞∞
What the hell had she done?
She sat at the kitchen table drinking a cup of green tea and wishing that she had all the answers. She wished she knew what was going to happen with the Lanes and their visitation suit. She wished she knew what would happen if she told Kyle everything.
She wished she knew if everything in her life was going to turn out okay.
One thing was for sure and it startled her every single time she thought about it: Kyle Logan was attracted to her. He wanted to be her friend, and in fact, he would have wanted to take things farther if she wasn’t already married.
She knew something else too.
If he knew that she had three other children he would run away so fast that her head would spin. It was one thing for her to have a baby. Babies were wonderful and small and cuddly. They had virtually no issues and their little identities weren’t really formed yet. They didn’t know anyone aside from Mommy and Daddy, and since Daddy wasn’t in the picture a baby wouldn’t care one way or the other. The cost, in time and money and emotions, was pretty negligible.
Three growing children were something else entirely.
She loved them. They were her entire life, but she knew to someone else they would be another man’s children, a burden. Sure, a man might like them and have fun with them and tolerate them, but in the end, they wouldn’t be his.
What man would willingly take on the care of four children that weren’t his own just to have a relationship with no ulterior motives with their mother?
The answer was: not very many.
Was Kyle one of those men?
She was scared to find out. She was scared because she was already falling in love with him and the rejection that she knew was coming would obliterate her. She didn’t think she could handle it. She couldn’t handle any more bad situations.
She had enough of those to last the rest of her life without creating more.
She sipped the cool tea and put her head on the table as the microwave clock glowed with the late hour. She should be sleeping right now, but she couldn’t. Too many things were swirling around in her head, their almost-kiss not the least of them.
The burn on her arm still stung a bit. She’d have to be careful not to break the blister for a few days or it could get infected.
She couldn’t afford a doctor’s visit on top of everything else.
James called out for water and she groaned and went to get him back to sleep before dragging herself to her own bed. She needed to rest, whether or not she’d be able to sleep was the question.
∞∞∞
“You look like hell sauteed over an open flame,” Helen said in greeting. “How did it go with the lawyer?”
It was Friday and she was coming back from the bookshop where she’d worked all morning at Christian’s request. She used her second break to go visit the lawyer in town and what he’d said both reassured her and disappointed her.
“He thinks I won’t have any issues. Grandparents rarely get visitation rights when there is a responsible parent in the picture and when that parent makes even a small effort to contact them occasionally…”
Helen’s eyebrows raised, creating a topographical map of wrinkles on her forehead. “Why do I hear a ‘but’ in there?”
“But it’s going to cost me fifteen hundred dollars,” she said, rubbing her eyes.
They burned and felt so heavy. She had almost no time to spend with the kids before she had to head over to Kyle’s and she couldn’t waste it sleeping.
“That…that…ambulance-chasing charlatan!” Helen shouted, truly angry.
“What’s a amblance-chaser?” she heard James asking Ellie in the background.
“It’s someone who chases ambulances, duh,” Jackson provided helpfully. “What’s a charlatan?”
”A charlatan is a con man or a swindler,” Ellie whispered. “A fraud.”
The two women were momentarily distracted by Ellie and they looked over their shoulders at the trio.
“Ellie, where did you learn that?” Madison asked, a bit impressed.
“Your romance books, mom. They have an alarming number of rakish con men in them.”
Madison felt her face burn and she was very alarmed, wondering exactly which books Ellie had gotten into. She was going to have to store them in the attic. Would she need to have the talk with Ellie later?
“You can learn anything from books,” Ellie added simply.
“Not everything,” Helen whispered behind her hand, wiggling her eyebrows.
Madison snorted tiredly and tapped the old woman with the back of her hand. “You are too much.”
“I’m not nearly enough, dear,” Helen said, turning to lean back against the couch again. “Not these days, anyway.”
“Well, Mr. Ellison is the best in this part of the state. I guess he can charge however much he wants,” Madison said finally, mentally rationing her paychecks. “He said I can pay half upfront and half when it’s over.”
“Well, that’s better than nothing,” Helen sniffed. “I ought to have a word with him anyway. Imagine charging you that much.”
“I’ll have to use part of what I saved up for taxes, but as long as I keep working, I can have it put back before they’re due.”
She closed her eyes for a moment, enjoying the respite.
“You can’t keep working seven days a week and full-time for five of those!” Helen complained. “You have no time to rest.”
Madison waved that off. “I can sleep when I’m dead.”
“That’s my line,” Helen grumbled.
∞∞∞
That evening, she was back at Kyle’s working on the meal.
She was standing in the pantry that was beginning to feel as familiar to her as her own, scanning the shelves for a container of couscous that she swore she had seen earlier in the week.
The naan bread was ready, the hummus was blended, the chicken was roasted and shredded, the green onions, bell peppers, and almonds were chopped, and the raisins and dressing were ready. All she needed was the couscous and it wasn’t exactly jumping out at her.
Maybe the top shelf?
She dragged the step stool away from the wall near the door and over to the far side of the small room. The shelves spanned the room from floor to ceiling, and the top shelf was still almost out of reach.
She stepped up to the very top of the stool, feeling foolish for being nervous about it. She was barely three feet off the ground. The tiled floor wasn’t exactly soft though.
She stood on tiptoes and moved a box of pasta from the front of the shelf with her fingertips, finally spotting the tops of the couscous containers. Jimmy must have moved them to the back when he was looking for something else.
“Gotcha,” she whispered as if they were particularly elusive prey.
“Need help?”
The man’s voice was unexpected and she yelped and whipped around on the stool…and promptly lost her balance. She had the sudden sickening sensation of falling backward, of losing control. She threw her arms out, desperate to catch herself.
Everything happened so fast that she caught only blurs of motion. One moment, her flailing arm swept everything off a part of a shelf, and the next she was partially caught in a man’s unfamiliar arms.
Unfortunately, she was too heavy and her descent was only slowed a little by the arms around her. She felt like she smacked every shelf on the way down and it was so shocking and unexpected that she barely felt the tiled concrete as she fell into a heap with her struggling savior.
The violent discordance and then sudden silence were disorienting. She raised a hand to her battered head and groaned as she opened her eyes.
Jace was leaning over her, wincing at the strain in his body.
“Madison, I’m so sorry—” he began. “Damn!”
“No, Jace. I’m sorry for practically crushing you,” she grimaced as he shifted over her to remove his wounded arm from underneath her back. “Are you okay?”
He stifled a groan and put his good hand on the floor on her opposite side, trying to untangle their legs and push himself up. She struggled to lift herself enough to help him. Her back and head were throbbing, but she didn’t feel too bad.
There didn’t seem to be any permanent—
“You motherfucker,” a man growled, slamming through the open doorway and jerking Jace off of her with one bulky arm around his neck.
Cal’s face was icy cold and the almost mechanical brutality in his eyes scared her.
“Cal,” she started.
His frosty gaze slammed into hers and then he scanned her as she lay on the floor. Her dress had been shoved up embarrassingly high over her thighs and she realized how it must look.
“He didn’t do anything. It’s not what—”
Murdock only glowered and turned his glare back on Jace, who was holding his arms up in surrender.
“I was only—”
“I heard a scream…what the fuck is going on?!”
Her heart stopped completely and she was mortified as Kyle’s shout echoed in the small space.
He took everything in, in one horrified and murderous glance before dashing forward, slipping his hands under bare knees and back, and practically sprinting out into the kitchen with her.
This was not good!
“Kyle, stop!” she begged.
“I’ll fucking kill him,” he hissed, looking down and not seeing her eyes, but only the bruises on the side of her head that must be starting to darken already.
His arms flexed involuntarily and she felt the bulge of his biceps and forearms. He didn’t seem to have plans to put her down any time soon.
She put a hand on his cheek and turned his face until he met her eyes. “Jace didn’t do anything to me. I’m an accident magnet, remember? He tried to catch me from falling and I’m afraid that he’s hurt. It’s all my fault.”
Kyle tightened his arms around her and frowned.
He looked back to the pantry where Murdock seemed frozen with his large fists in Jace’s shirt. He didn’t look anything like the Murdock she knew. His face was cold and blank and menacing.
“Cal, stop!” he ordered. “He didn’t do anything wrong. Check him for injuries.”
She sighed in relief as the big man shifted from a ruthless killer and seamlessly went into medic mode.
He helped Jace to a chair. Kyle looked over at them.
“Jace, are you okay?” He seemed much cooler now and more concerned about the man under his care.
Jace nodded, but he was shaking like a kicked dog and curled in on himself. “I’m good. I’m just glad Madison is okay. I shouldn’t have startled her like that while she was on that step ladder. I should have known better.”
“I shouldn’t have been such a spaz,” she said self-deprecatingly. “I’m so sorry, Jace. I feel terrible.”
“Don’t worry about it, but if you really want to make it up to me, some cake would be nice,” he hinted with a small smile that lacked depth.
“Done,” she said. “I’ll make you the best cake you’ve ever had.”
She looked back at Kyle. “I’m pretty sure I can walk.”
Kyle shook his head. “Nope. Not until I check you over. Jace, we’ll talk in a bit.”
“Kyle, I’m fine. I swear,” she argued.
“You always say that. Besides, think about how bad you could sue me if I don’t make sure you’re okay,” he teased, but the teasing didn’t reach his eyes. He was still caught up in it, she could tell.
“I’m too heavy,” she said finally, wiggling her legs to try to get down and trying not to blush over the fact that, while her rear was decently covered, her skirt was still too high for her liking. If Kyle noticed, and he most certainly did, he didn’t say anything about it. She was sure he was getting an eye full though.
He stopped and looked at her in shock. “Are you kidding? I could carry you around all day and barely even notice.”
She scoffed but stopped arguing with him. He seemed very determined.
He carried her through the door and into the employee’s living room, where he’d bandaged her up the first time. It seemed like he was always fixing her up.
“I’m a walking disaster,” she joked as he gently laid her on the sofa. “Poor Jace.”
He swallowed and looked away as she pulled her skirt back down to cover her knees. She touched the back of his hand and he looked back down at her with concern before sitting on the edge of the couch near her knees.
She sat against the armrest as he gently clasped her face in his hands. His eyes watched her carefully as his fingers probed the injuries on the side of her head. She winced as they ran over her temple.
“No knots, but you’ll have a bruise there,” he said. He stood and went over to the small kitchenette and came back with a penlight. “Look at me.”
He checked her eyes. “Any headache, blurred vision, anything like that?” he asked.
“Nope. I told you I’m okay, just sore,” she promised. “I fell off a step stool and Jace broke my fall, I didn’t go to war,” she said, rolling her eyes.
So, no bullet holes or shrapnel, then?” he continued, mouth twisting in amusement.
“Most likely no,” she joked. “I need to finish the meal though.”
He pulled back and swept a hand over her neck, shoulders, and down her arms, feeling and looking for any injuries. His face was solemn and when he reached her wrists, his hands tightened a little before sweeping over her palms and fingers.
She felt his touch throb pleasantly in other, more intimate, parts of her.
He traced the covered lines of her body with his eyes before he was satisfied that she wasn’t going to perish on the couch.
She closed her eyes as he suddenly turned so that she only saw his profile.
“Maddy, when I saw you in there, looking like that…” He shook his head and blew out a breath, cutting himself off from saying what he wanted to say. She wished he hadn’t. She wanted to know what was on his mind. “I almost killed Jace.”
“You wouldn’t have killed Jace,” she began, putting a hand on his back.
She felt the muscles over his shoulders tense and release under her touch. She enjoyed it way more than she should, way more than was prudent for a woman in her circumstances.
He turned to her, bracing a hand on the back of the couch, and his face was deadly serious. “Only because Murdock would have done it first. I would have absolutely no issues killing a man who assaulted you. I wouldn’t lose one moment of sleep over it, even if I went to prison for the rest of my life.”
His eyes held her, magnetic and swirling with all kinds of emotions that she dared not put any label on. He finally seemed to catch himself and turned away again. “I would do anything I could to protect my employees.”
“I know,” she said. “You’re an excellent boss.”
He flashed her a tiny smile before turning serious again. “Your husband may not be so forgiving.”
Crap.
“Don’t worry about that,” she said, waving off his concerns. “It won’t be an issue. I’ll explain everything.”
He looked skeptical. “I’m not sure I would take it so well if my wife came home from work all bruised up.”
“Rob is…different. It’ll be okay,” she promised.
“Rob?” he said, tapping his lips with his fingers. “I thought his name was Christian?”
Crap. He’d thought Christian was her husband?
She hadn’t meant to say Rob’s name. She didn’t think they’d go snooping into her life, but if he started asking around, he might stumble across the truth. The town was small and at the time, the news of his death was pretty scandalous with the lawsuit and everything that followed. It had finally calmed down, but not before she got a lot of pitying looks.
It had been an absolute nightmare.
“No. Christian is my other boss,” she finally said. “At my bookstore job.”
Kyle was staring a hole right through her as she spoke and she felt like he could read the lies on her face. Finally, he nodded and stood, holding out a hand.
“Come on, let’s go check on Jace and you can tell me how to finish up supper.”
She closed her eyes as he pulled her up, wishing that she could change everything.
∞∞∞
That night in bed she lay awake again.
She was thankful that Jace was unharmed. She was even more thankful that his body wasn’t rolled up in a carpet in the wilderness somewhere.
Murdock’s reaction frightened her. He’d been so cold and so still. She finally caught a glimpse of the man that everyone was wary of.
Logically, she knew that he wouldn’t hurt her, but he was still scary…and Kyle…
What she felt for Kyle, and what he seemed to feel for her was so damned complicated. He acted almost…almost as if he was in love with her, at times.
She caught his surreptitious looks, his gentle touches that seemed too common to be accidental. He took care of her. He was solicitous of her. He seemed interested in everything she had to say. He found reasons to be around her. He’d assured her that he would be respectful of her ‘marriage’…
She was in love with him and it terrified her.
Everything she had gone through with Rob had scarred her. Relationships were dangerous things. They caused grief, and guilt, and heartache, and bad feelings. They were deceptive in the beginning, happy and hopeful, but they could go bad at any moment.
And when they went bad, they went really bad.
Trust. Trust…sucked. She hated it. It built you up to heights that you could never imagine and then…it crashed you into a bleak pit. It was as fragile as wet tissue paper, and not worth the energy it took to give.
She and Rob had been so happy, so content with each other and their life together, or so she thought…except, in one single instant, her entire life had been destroyed and it had been destroyed again months later.
The clock on the nightstand taunted her—the red numbers not only counted down the hours left until she saw Kyle again, but they also counted down the hours of her life. It was neverending.
She heard Em shift in her crib and held herself still, hoping she wouldn’t wake up all the way.
She was expected at Kyle’s tomorrow at noon and it was already one in the morning. She still had to get up in the morning and work with the kids on their lessons. It might be Saturday, but they needed the extra practice, especially Ellie with her math and Jackson and James with their reading.
She turned over, wincing at the stiffness in her neck and back. She’d be covered in bruises tomorrow, that was for sure.
Finally, as the minutes passed, her eyes got heavy and she slept…and dreamed.
∞∞∞
She gave Helen a wobbly smile as she pulled away. The kids had let her go without a fuss after being promised pizza and a movie for supper. She’d have to buy the ingredients to make it because takeout was much too expensive and they didn’t like the frozen kind.
The day was cloudy and blustery. It was cool, which was a relief after the stretch of late summer heat they’d had recently. She had a backpack with Em’s stuff in it, along with a bottle of water, the baby carrier, and a nursing cover.
She was going to have to feed her at some point during the hike and she wasn’t keen to go flashing Kyle as she did it. She just hoped Em didn’t try to grab the cover as she had started to do now.
The drive was over before she knew it, and she was pulling up to the gate at the chalet.
She saw Murdock in the shadows of the trees off to the side and she waved, stifling the lingering hint of fear that she still felt.
The guy was big and mean and didn’t talk much, but he’d never hurt her or Em. He’d only tried to protect her from what he thought was a bad situation. It wouldn’t be fair for her feelings for him to change based on that, and Madison was an inherently fair person…or tried to be.
Kyle was standing on the porch with a travel mug when she pulled up. She saw his eyes light up before he trained his face into a more moderate greeting. She smiled and flipped her hand up in a wave before turning the car off and unbuckling her belt.
He met her at the bottom of the steps, gaze trailing down her long brown hair before moving back to her face.
“I was just getting ready. You need a bathroom break before we go?” he asked, peering around her to give Emmie a big grin. She was desperately trying to reach her toes.
“She pulled her sock off,” he said as if it were a big accomplishment.
Madison chuckled. “She thinks her feet are toys and I think she hates socks. I don’t blame her.”
“You hate socks too?” he teased.
“Yep. Can’t stand them,” she said.
“I hope you wore some today, or you might get blisters,” he frowned, looking down at her boots.
“Of course I did. I’m out of shape though, so you’ll have to go easy on me. I haven’t hiked in a long time.”
He guided her up the steps to the kitchen where she would leave her purse and Em’s car seat. Jimmy was at the stove, finishing up something that looked like pumpkin soup with sausage. It smelled wonderful.
“I’ll take her while you go to the bathroom,” Kyle said, kneeling to unfasten the baby seat and lift out the baby. Emmie was grinning and cooing her brand new baby language as she reached out for Kyle’s nose.
She turned to go and caught Jimmy with a suspicious frown on his face. He turned away, but not before he gave her a warning glare and shook his head. His meaning was as clear as if he’d dragged a finger across his throat.
He was warning her away from Kyle.
She was a bit shaky as went to the bathroom and washed her hands before checking her hair in the mirror. She usually left it in a braid or a bun because it was more hygienic when cooking, but today she left it long and loose. It was cool enough, and the brown waves drifted down to her waist.
She was wearing her most flattering pair of black leggings—the ones without the holes— with a tee and a long, green flannel shirt on top. The autumn colors flattered her complexion and made her happy, even if they did herald a season that she dreaded.
When she got back to the kitchen, Jimmy was gone and Kyle was jiggling a happy Em with one hand while tapping her nose and cheeks and making bubble-popping noises with the other. The baby was thrilled and kept trying to shove his finger in her mouth.
Kyle, thankfully, didn’t oblige her.
He looked up as she came in. “All ready? Where’s that baby carrier thing?”
She pulled it from the backpack and buckled it while he helped settle Em into the seat. Her little legs kept missing the holes and she was about to transfer the baby’s weight to one arm when Kyle just reached in and guided her into the proper position, brushing the sides of her breasts in the process.
Her face flamed and he cleared his throat as he frowned and looked out the window. “Shit, uh…sorry.”
She licked her lips and pretended to adjust the straps. “That’s okay.”
The accidental touch had made her skin prickle in awareness and she was having a hard time concentrating on what he was saying while the memory of him so close replayed in her head.
“Ready to go?” he asked with a hopeful and very nonchalant look. She smirked at him and he bit back a smile and shook his head. “That was…I was only trying to help.”
“I know.”
“If you feel like you need to tell your husband, I’ll be here all day tomorrow if he wants to come bash my head in or bloody me up. I won’t even fight back,” he promised earnestly.
“Kyle,” she sighed. What could she say? “He isn’t…you don’t need to worry about it. It was nothing.”
“All right. Well, if you change your mind…”
“I won’t. Now, can we go before I start developing arthritis and Em outgrows her carrier?”
He laughed out loud and it was worth the awkwardness of the last few moments just to hear it. It resonated with a place deep inside. It made her want to hug him and find other ways to make him laugh. It made her want to never leave.
It made her want to confess everything.
She tried not to let her smile dim as they went out onto the porch where he left his bag.
“That thing is huge,” she said.
“I hear that all the time,” a cocky voice said, coming up the steps from the yard.
Wyatt’s smirking nod made her huff out an indignant laugh and she shook her head while Kyle glowered at the other man. “There are children present and you aren’t wanted here.”
Wyatt raised his eyebrows. “She’s a baby and besides, she’ll be hearing all kinds of stuff if she’s going to be hanging out here. I personally have never seen the point in being all overprotective—”
“You might change your mind when you have kids of your own,” she pointed out.
“Lord save us all from Wyatt’s future children,” Kyle murmured as he hefted his gigantic bag and tightened the straps.
“Don’t worry. I’m never having kids. I’ll just hold Em occasionally and call it good,” Wyatt promised, resting his hand on top of the baby’s head. She noticed he was very careful not to touch her in the process.
“Go clean the gym,” Kyle growled, shooting death rays at Wyatt’s hand.
“Sure thing, boss. Have fun,” he said, walking away. He stopped and glanced back. “Unless…you want me to come with you? I can be ready in—”
“No.”
She giggled and followed Kyle’s steady pace as he led them away from the grinning man. She supposed she couldn’t expect to work around a bunch of men without some crude humor and posturing.
It was flattering really and it reminded her quite a bit of James and Jackson fighting over toys. She couldn’t help the smile that thought caused.
The forest was calm and quiet. The trees were the deep green hue of late summer, but the occasional patches of orange and yellow glowed in the dappled sunlight under the canopy.
The air was crisp, but not cold, and she was glad she’d bundled Emmie up. Her bright little face was studying everything they passed, and as she watched her baby, Kyle, and the surrounding trees, she felt intense contentment fill her.
She was happy in a way that she hadn’t been in a long time.
Everything else—the money issues, the lawsuit, the lies she told, the burdens of homeschooling, the lost sleep, the hunger—it all faded into insignificance as she contemplated what really mattered in life.
She had the kids. They had food and shelter. She had friends. She had Kyle.
They had been following a trail that gradually wound through the woods. The incline wasn’t steep, but it was steady and she realized just how out of shape she was. Her legs were burning and her breath was coming in gasps as they continued.
He was keeping a steady pace, even with the heavy bag, and she realized that he didn’t know she was having issues. He likely never had to come out here with someone who wasn’t as fit.
The shoulder and waist straps of the baby carrier dug painfully into the bruises that she’d developed after yesterday’s fall and the backpack—seemingly light at first—felt like it had gained ten pounds.
“Kyle,” she said, trying to keep her breathing even and not gasp out his name in an embarrassing gust of wind.
He stopped immediately and frowned as she put a hand on Em’s back while she leaned a bit to catch her breath. “I’m sorry. I’m not used to this, with the pregnancy and having a baby…” she waved her hand over herself to explain.
He walked over, dropping his bag and leading her to a fallen tree.
“Damn. No. It’s my fault. I didn’t even think….and you just had a baby…I can’t believe I didn’t realize…”
She took a deep breath, feeling more steady now that she had a little rest. “No, it’s me. I should have warned you. I used to be in better shape, but I just haven’t had time yet. I’m sorry.”
“Maddy, I brought you out here to have fun and relax. My day is perfect already, even if we don’t go any farther up this damned hill,” he teased.
The breeze caught his hair, ruffling the strands and blowing his spicy masculine scent in her face. She wanted to close her eyes and breathe him in, but that would probably be fairly awkward.
She smiled. “But I want to make it to the top. I’m not a quitter.”
“We’re already about halfway there,” he promised with a smile. “I’ll carry your bag and we can go slower. Let me know if you need a break or if you want me to carry Emmie.”
He jiggled Em’s chubby cheek with the tip of his finger and smiled at her. Em grinned a brilliant gummy smile and let out a squeal, startling herself and the two adults looking on.
Madison blinked in shock. “She’s never done that before.”
Kyle looked enamored if the grin on his face was any indication. “She was waiting for a good time and now is as good a time as any,” he chuckled. “Isn’t that right, Emmie-cakes?”
Em smiled at him again, though she was beginning to look sleepy. She laid her head on Maddy’s chest and wiped her face back and forth. Madison cupped the back of her head and placed a gentle kiss on the baby’s soft, sparse hair.
“Let me take your bag,” he urged, standing up and moving behind her.
“Okay, but if you get tired I’ll take it back,” she said seriously.
He looked at her, nonplussed. “It’s like ten pounds.”
She stared at him.
“Ten pounds, Maddy….I’m used to running with seventy. Uphill.”
“Oh.” She said.
Runningwith seventypounds? Uphill?
“Yeah,” he chuckled. “I could carry your bag, Emmie, and you up this mountain if I had to. Don’t worry about me, sweetheart.”
Sweetheart!
She grinned sheepishly even though she wanted to squeal at the little endearment. “Still. I feel guilty making you carry my stuff. I’ll make it up to you. How about a batch of cookies?”
Something in his expression flickered as he paused in the act of putting her pack inside his larger one. “Yeah. Cookies would be nice.”
He pulled her to her feet and led her up the mountain, much more slowly this time.