50. Veronica
It’s dark.
Cold.
The blanket beneath me won’t help melt the ice that has sunk into my body. I could try it, but then I would have to worry about being itchy on top of everything else.
It’s been almost a week since Leo had left to visit his family. I’ve been brainstorming other ways for him to give in to my plan the past few days. None seem to work, given the first one I thought of was supposed to do the trick.
He fell in love with me. He hasn’t muttered the words; honestly, he doesn’t need to say them for me to know. Getting him to fall for me was easier than expected. He already had a fragile heart and the need for someone to reconstruct it.
Dr. Bennett found me reading in the lobby when he informed me that Leo wasn’t returning when he was supposed to. Said there was a family emergency and left it at that. Dr. Bennett doesn’t realize how close Leo and I are; therefore, he wasn’t aware that I knew about Leo’s mother. The family emergency, sadly, was most likely that his mother died.
After Henry left me alone to read my book, I couldn’t. My eyes were unfocused from the words printed on the pages, the tiny inked letters became blurry as I spaced out. Images of Leo shattering with the loss of his mom made my skin hot with anger for him. Anger at losing someone he loved so dearly.
My heart ached for him. It was a strange feeling.
I’d felt rage for him despite leaving me in the garden and dismissing the plan I had drawn up. The rage burning inside me was the height of an emotion I’d never felt.
The only time I’ve felt this was when it was towards a person who I hated. This? It’s different in the sense that I don’t hate Leo. This new emotion was for the creature that took a wonderful woman from this Earth. Many people deserve death more than she did.
I needed him to help die down the rage but without him, I was a loose cannon.
I tried so fucking hard to shove the emotion down, only to be defeated. The red of the rage took over, and I stalked out the person I wanted to hurt the most—the woman whose hair color matched the color that had been lining my vision.
Scarlet.
Seeing as I couldn’t go to her ward, I had to wait until she visited ours. For two days, I sat around, hoping that day would be the day until finally, it was. She had come down to speak with Dr. Bennett about something. Maybe it was about that patient Olivia, who was joining us.
I waited outside the doors to the office hallway, and she saw me as she made her way down. She slowed her steps as she saw me standing with my back against the wall. Her eyes had glanced at the other door, the one that led to the bedrooms, which had another exit at the end of that hall. Wavering her options, she straightened her back and pushed forward.
Stupid woman.
As soon as the door shut behind her, I pounced. I had no hesitation as I brought my hand from behind my back. The hand that was holding the paperweight Edith kept hidden behind her desk.
The blow caused Scarlet to stumble, and with her steps faltering, I shoved her to the ground. A frightened scream came from her mouth as I straddled her and lifted the weight again in my hand. I crushed it into the side of her head twice before her arms shot up, attempting to stop me.
Her hands had grabbed my wrists, using all her strength to hold my hand back. I clenched my teeth and grunted from the lack of movement I had. Blood trickled down from her temple, her eyes glossy with tears.
Whether it’s from the pain she was enduring or from being attacked, I’m not sure. Probably both. I used my free hand to rip hers off of me. Being free from her grasp, I brought the weight down one more time.
Her body relaxed beneath me, head falling to the side, allowing me to appreciate the gash in her temple. My hold on the paperweight was tight, making me worried it might break or maybe my fingers would break around it. My eyes dropped to her chest, where I saw the slightest movement. She was alive. That wasn’t how I wanted this to end.
When I raised the weight again, the blood on it caught my eye. Edith is going to be angry about her precious paper holder. I’ll make it up to her.
Before I could take another hit, a large hand was wrapped around my wrist, stopping me. They squeezed my arm as hard as they could, which made my grip loosen and allowed the weight to fall with a yelp. The paperweight fell to the floor; a hiss sounded through my teeth.
The next thing I knew, two men picked me up and hauled me to solitaire.
“You will stay here until Dr. Madden returns. Then, he will escort you to Ward R.” Dr. Bennett had told me. The disappointment in his eyes seared through my chest. “You had one chance, Veronica. I am sorry that it has to come to this.”
That was about two hours ago. I think. Time doesn’t exist down here.
My eyes have grown tired once the adrenaline subsides, but I refuse to sleep. My eyes remain forward, staring at the wall I can’t see through the darkness. There is a raw spot on my thumb where I have been nervously chewing.
Only two things are on my mind.
One, Leo’s mother died.
Two, I’m being sent to Ward R.
The pain in my butt has turned into numbness from how long I’ve been sitting in this bed. It could be the next day for all I know, and I have yet to move. Someone brought me food, although I didn’t eat it.
I barely even glanced over when they slid it through the slot. Thinking about eating makes me want to vomit. Instead, I sit here and patiently wait while my stomach grumbles, begging for the food I know I wouldn’t keep down.
Seconds turn into minutes. Minutes into hours. When I think all hope is lost of Leo coming soon, the door creaks open. A figure steps inside the room, dull eyes immediately finding mine. The dim light out in the hall cascades over the side of his face. Leo sighs as he steps back, gesturing for me to leave the darkroom.
Slowly, I peel myself away from the bed, bones aching from lack of movement. I walk past him, eyes on the ground the entire time we make our way to his office.
I look at him only when he shuts the door and sits at his desk. His elbows are resting on the surface, his hands in front of his face. His pointer fingers are steepled, the tips hitting the edge of his nose. He shuts his eyes, inhaling a deep breath.
“Leo…” I say quietly, unaware of what type of mood he is in.
He unhooks one hand from the other, holding a finger up to stop me from speaking. His eyes are still shut when he says, “I talked with Dr. Bennett. You just needed to behave, Veronica.”
His voice is exhausted. Had he slept while he was away? “I know. I’m sorry. I went blind with rage. Your mother... Dr. Bennett told me there was a family emergency. That’s why you weren’t coming back yet.”
Leo opens his eyes, misery flooding the bright greens, turning them darker. It’s almost like he doesn’t want me to see how he hurts. Those sad eyes drop to the desk. “She passed.”
“I figured. I’m sorry, Leo. When he said that, I got so angry that she was taken from you. I don’t know what came over me.”
“You’re saying you beat Scarlet to near death for me?” His eyes snap to mine. The dark circles are prominent against his tan skin. I swallow hard at the sight before me. I’ve never seen him this undone.
“Like I said, I’m not sure why I did it.” I step closer to the desk, not daring to go around it and to him. Stopping at the corner, I huff out a breath. “Besides, she knew about us. It was only a matter of time before she spilled the information.”
“They are talking about sending you to prison!” His voice grows loud and makes me flinch. The anger laced within his tone is enough to scare anyone, but his tone isn’t what scares me. It’s the mention of prison.
“W-what?” I choke out the words.
“They don’t think sending you to another ward will work anymore.” Leo stands from behind the desk. He turns the corner, coming to stand by me. “Prison, Veronica! That is what they want to decide on and if you go there, you won’t be with other inmates.”
I snap my eyes up to his face. “They are going to shove me in solitary in prison?”
Fuck. That can not happen.
Solitary is bad here, but prison?
“They are giving me a say in the option,” he states.
“Leo, please. I can’t. I...” I stutter, unable to form a sentence because my brain is so jumbled.
“I don’t want to send you to prison, Vee.” He sighs out his exhaustion. “But I also don’t think that you being in Ward R will be any better.”
My head shakes back and forth, wetting my dry lips. “There has to be a third option.”
“There is.” I lift my eyes to inspect his expression. It’s hard to read the expression painted on his beautiful face. The tiredness is mixed with sadness but with a hint of hope. “At my mother’s funeral, my dad spoke. The speech was great and unexpected, but he talked about how the point of life was love. We live and fight for the love we want and deserve.”
“No offense, Leo, but I don’t see how your dad”s speech has anything to do with a third option.”
“Fighting for love.” He steps to me, cupping my face in his hand. “What”s the point of my life if I don’t fight for you?”
My eyes dance between his, searching for the answer to the question. “What are you saying?”
“I’ll run with you.”
A gasp leaves my parted lips, and he swallows it with a kiss. Warm lips against mine, the heat traveling down my chest exploding like a firework. This worked out. I still don’t completely understand how, but he gave in. I didn’t have to pull all the other options I wrote out. He is going to help me get out of this place.
I’m going to escape.
My kiss becomes frantic. My arms are wound around his neck, dragging him into my mouth deeper. His hands slide over my hips until they rest on the small of my back.
Gratitude lines my lips, and words are whispered against his. I can’t stop my mouth from curving upward, and when Leo pulls back to see my face, a wide smile is plastered there.
“Thank you, Leo. I need to get a few things from my room before we go.”
“We have to pack light, Vee. Nothing that can slow us down.”
“I only need one thing from my room. Maybe a change of clothes, but that’s it.” My journal is really what I need. If that were found, it would ruin everything.
He nods. “Nighttime would be best. Being in the dark will make it harder for anyone to see us outside. The issue is, I need to get you out of your room.”
“Don’t worry about that,” I say, sliding my arms off his body. “I’ll handle it.”
“What’s your plan?” The curiosity flickers in his eyes. The ones that still hold sadness.
If he only knew the multiple scenarios I drew up for this exact occasion. “I’ll figure it out, but Leo, what about your family? You just lost your mother. Are you sure about this?”
Why the hell am I second-guessing this for him? He already agreed. Why am I attempting to change his mind?
He takes my hands into his. “My mother wanted me to be happy, and with you, little angel,” A kiss is pressed against my knuckle, “I will be happy.”
“Leo, I’m not sure icing out your family with all of you grieving—” What am I saying? He is agreeing to this, Veronica! Shut your mouth!
“I’ll figure something out.” His tone holds honesty, but there is a flash of unease in his eyes.
“You’re sure about this?”
“I’m positive,” he reassures me, that bit of doubt dissipating behind his gaze. “Now, the sun goes down in about an hour. Grab what you need, and I’ll meet you by the lobby after lockdown. We will have to make sure Edith isn’t there.”
“Okay.” Going up on my toes, I press a soft kiss on his lips.
He gently pushes me towards the door. It’s my cue to leave and get ready, so I take it.
Once back in my room, I take out a fresh pair of sweatpants and a sweatshirt. Folding them neatly, I set them on my bed and then go for my journal with my new bookmark tucked in place. Hiding it between the two articles of clothing, I sit on the bed next to them and slide out of my slippers.
We only have those and a pair of tennis shoes to wear. The sneakers aren’t comfortable; the sole is as thin as paper, so I often wear slippers. But what about running in the woods wearing those fuzzy things? There’s no way. The sneakers will have to do.
I hide the clothes and journal under my pillow and lie down. Shortly after, the lights shut off, and the guard makes his rounds. Peering into each little window to ensure the patients are where they are supposed to be. My eyes remain on the ceiling as I hear him walk past my door to check on the other girls, then walk past again to take his stance at the main door.
I count the minutes when I know he is at his post.
I used to do this whenever my parents would sit me on a timeout. They wouldn’t let me in my room because my toys were there. How would it be considered timeout if I could still play with my toys?
Instead of giving me the luxury to sit in my room while serving my punishment, they made me sit in a closet. It wasn’t even one of our nice, luxurious ones in the house. It was a shallow linen closet. Shelves full of extra towels line the wall, with one bulb in the center of the ceiling.
Underneath the bottom shelf was a cubby space where my mother normally had the maids store the spare laundry detergent. That is where I sat, next to a bottle of some overly expensive detergent and a mop bucket. With me sitting beneath a shelf, the light didn’t reach me. It was dim and mostly dark down in my space. Maybe that’s why I hate solitary so much.
Except here in the asylum, it’s a bigger closet but much colder.
The numbers in my mind climb until they reach 600.
Ten minutes have passed. That gives me enough time to act out the idea that conjured inside my head. It was the first one that came to mind, and I was limited with time.
Sitting up in my bed, I flip the pillow over. Grasping the clothing wrapped around my journal, I hold it at my side and go to my door. Curling my hand into a fist, I bang loudly against the metal.
A stinging sensation tingles my hand as it continuously pounds the door. Pain radiates down my arm with how hard I’m hitting it. Even being in pain, there is no pause between the thundering knocks. I peer out of the window to see if he is coming.
The guard stalks down the hall, his expression annoyed. When he stops outside my room, his expression deepens. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
“I... I...” I drop from my toes, my hand falling to tuck the clean clothes in my hand. Channeling embarrassment, it takes over my face like a mask as I glance back up. “I forgot to use the bathroom before coming to bed. I couldn’t hold it and?—”
His lips curl in disgust. “What do you expect me to do about it?”
Swallowing hard, I suggest, “If I could just run to the bathroom quickly, put on some fresh clothes. I’d like to not sleep in wet clothes.”
I hold the clothes trapped between my fingers in his view. His eyes slide over the fabric before focusing on me. He huffs out a breath, the clinking sound of keys sounds from the other side of the door. A turn and a click. I step back for the guard to open the door fully.
What an idiot. I can’t believe that seriously worked.
“Thank you.” I bow my head, putting one foot forward to leave the room.
He grabs my arm, stopping me from proceeding. “What do I get in return?”
With my head still down, my eyes lift. I can see the door to the hall from here. I’m close. I won’t let anything stop me. Turning my head, I stare up at him. “What do you mean?”
“Well, I am being nice and allowing you access to the bathroom after hours so you can change out of your filthy clothes.” He looks me up and down. “Don’t you think I should be rewarded?”
Bile rises in my throat. Of course, he would want something in return. I’ve heard about it from other patients before. I forgot to consider that when I saw it was him standing guard. “I’ll give you whatever you want, just please, let me change first.”
He eyes me carefully, ideas churning around in his dull mind. “I want your mouth around my cock.”
The bile keeps rising. I might have to make a pit stop at the bathroom before meeting with Leo to release the horrible feeling in my stomach. “Okay. I’ll change. You stay here, and when I get back, I’ll do whatever you want.”
His grip loosens on my arm, and I take a cautious step away from him. He allows me to head towards the door only; his footsteps follow. Shoving the door open, I glance over my shoulder as he stands there and holds it open. “Make it quick.”
I nod, my lips forming a straight line. Walking towards the bathroom, I steal another peek over my shoulder. He watches for a second longer before shutting the door and returning to my room. I release a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding in.
Bypassing the bathroom, I make my way down the empty halls. The silence is loud. Its quietness bounces off the walls and rams into my ear, making friends with my roaring heartbeat. I keep my steps light, peering around corners before I advance.
No one was in sight except for the man standing by the lobby door—the handsome angel who had been sent here to set me free. He told me the reason he gave me the nickname little angel. He should have called me a little devil because that’s what I am.
An angel sent Leo to rescue me, while the devil sent me to wreak havoc.
It’s a war against good versus evil. Always. In the end, only one can win.