Chapter 36 Villain #3
I stared at him, the anger and confusion making my legs weak. I sank into the chair and put my head in my hands while my heart pounded. “You’re my ex’s therapist now?”
“Absolutely not, but I needed to see what direction this would send him in. I still don’t know, because he doesn’t know.”
I looked up at him, my whole body stretched past the point of snapping. “You think that if I forgive him, he’ll forgive me, and not become the next supervillain threat?”
He pointed at me. “It had crossed my mind, but it might send him off in the opposite direction. No way of knowing until you try. No, it’s for you.
You’re worth saving, Daniela, worth fixing, worth all the effort it will take to become whole.
Self-worth. Even if you’re all you have, that’s enough if you’re who you want to be. ”
My heart pounded too quickly as I slowly stood up, not sure where I should look. “And I should forgive my family as well?”
“Of course, and then never see them again. Forgiveness isn’t permission to continue their abuse.”
“How can I forgive them after what they did to Dirk’s sister?” I shook my head, brushed the tears off my cheeks I hadn’t realized had fallen. “I don’t know if I can do anything so hard.”
“This from the woman who survived living in Haversham’s house? I have complete confidence in you to do anything, no matter how difficult.”
“Because I’m Pandora’s child?”
“Because you’re a Delavigne. I listened to some of your father’s music and read some of his history. Nobility of soul is hard to define, but you certainly have that potential if you choose to pursue it. Dirk’s in the lobby waiting for you.”
I licked my lips. “I should forgive him too?”
“You already have, but instead of releasing it, you took the guilt that your cousin should feel and doesn’t. Forgive yourself, forgive your family, and maybe you can have a real relationship with Dagger.”
I left in a haze of conflicting emotions, the strongest one of wanting Dirk to be able to forgive me, to love me in spite of everything.
There he was, looking like a secret agent with his own personal stylist. He looked so good in the sculpted tuxedo near the edge of the immense foyer, apparently studying the sculptures of fruits and leaves.
I walked towards Dirk Dagger, my heart pounding and my head spinning.
I had to leave tonight. After the business was over, he’d have no reason to stay with me and every reason to leave. Could he forgive me?
He turned as if he heard my heart beating rapidly at the hope, the thought, the desperation. The relaxed smile had me tipping my chin up, like he was going to kiss me as he caught my hand and drew me close, studying my arm with a slight frown.
“Perhaps we should stop at the hospital and get you a cast.”
“You didn’t put on a tuxedo to take me to a hospital. Where did you make reservations?” I raised a brow and tried not to look desperate or desperately in love.
He raised my hand to his lips, warm breath brushing over my knuckles that sent a shiver through me. “I’m here to take you to dinner, but first we’ll enjoy some entertainment, if you don’t mind. I have a dress in the limo if you’d like to change.”
“You bought me a dress? I’m not going to tell you how terrifying that is. You have horrible taste.”
He raised a brow while his lips quirked. “And you taste exquisite. You could trade me, wear my tuxedo while I put on the gauzy contraption that Jordan assured me was everything you’d adore.”
“Oh, well if you got Jordan to do it, I guess that’s okay, although trading clothing has some appeal.”
“Does it?”
The thought of him getting out of his clothes with me in the back of a limo made my heart race and my skin prickle. I wanted to see him, every perfect piece of my delicious downfall. “You would look splendid in gauze.”
His eyes twinkled. “You have so much confidence in my potential.”
I changed in the back of the limo, which was actually a stretch SUV, so plenty of room to put on the layers of sinfully silky pink.
Dirk stayed outside the tinted windows while I changed, back to me like he wasn’t interested in my body, or like he respected my modesty.
Or like he didn’t want me because I was responsible for his sister’s death.
Once I was dressed in the gown, a woman slid in and started working on my hair and makeup.
When I’d told Dirk that we were going to cause a scene, he’d taken me at my word.
The private jet to Chicago, the drive to the symphony hall, all of it was with Dirk while I tried not to think that this was the last time we’d be together.
I had so many words crowding in my throat, but none of them were the ones he wanted to hear.
I’d already told him that I loved him. An apology wouldn’t mean anything until I’d done what I could to make up for what Philippe had done.
He didn’t want a ‘sorry’ like his sister’s last note.
I was, though. So sorry. Maybe he’d believe me if it was written in blood. Philippe’s blood.
When we got to the symphony hall, we went to the private box near the stage where we could be seen by everyone, my pink diamond on its significant finger for everyone to whisper about.
And they did; their whispers less than subtle.
I forgot about the audience, about performing as Dirk’s gold-hunter new wife when the musicians began.
The singer an exquisite contralto who was joined by a baritone while the orchestra blended so smoothly with more emotion than I was used to, but it yanked on my own heartstrings until I was crying, unable to move while the music pulled the emotions out of me, dripping down my face until Dirk handed me a silk handkerchief that wasn’t the most absorbent thing, but it was soft and pink with little white puppies printed on it.
It was ridiculous, as ridiculous as my crying in public.
I’d gone to musical events with Clint, but I’d never cried at them before.
When the music crescendoed and then faded down, I was the first person on my feet, clapping loudly for the excellent musicians.
I knew two people in the orchestra from school who nodded at me, like they recognized me as well.
Oh, because I was Dani Divine, the internet sensation known for playing mostly naked in public.
“Are you alright?” Dirk murmured, brushing my shoulder with his strong hand.
I gazed up at him and felt so right and so wrong at the same time, I wasn’t sure what to say. “I know some of the musicians.”
He raised a brow and smiled slightly. “Would you like to see them before we go? We have a few minutes before our dinner reservation.”
Would I like to see them? I wanted to see him, but… I nodded, my body taking over for me.
We left our box and pushed towards the backstage.
Carrie and Steve were there, in the side hall, a cellist and a violinist who I’d shared notes with, even if we hadn’t talked a lot.
I didn’t form close relationships with anyone besides Toni, at least not until Jezebel dragged me into her vigilante club.
“Daniela Delavigne?” Carrie said and then pulled me into a hug, her cello to the side while I delicately patted her back. “Look at you! Look at her, Steve. I can’t believe you’re Dani Divine.”
“I can’t believe you played Straw in the snow,” Steve said, shaking his head in disapproval.
I squeezed Dirk’s arm. “Ah, it was my most reckless moment. This is my husband and videographer, Dirk. He made me look good.”
Steve snorted. “You made Shostokovich sexy. I didn’t think that was possible, but you made it look sexy and effortless. Are you going to finally join a real orchestra?”
“I don’t know. I’m still figuring things out.”
“Well, I’m just glad you married someone who supports your music,” Carrie said, smiling at Dirk, but not in a predatory way. I still didn’t like her smiling at him, because she was someone who wasn’t responsible for Dirk’s sister’s death, so I couldn’t be sure that he wouldn’t find her appealing.
I gripped his hand and squeezed, but not too tight, just slightly painful for him in case he got the idea that he could flirt with her in front of me.
He squeezed my hand back and gave me a puzzled look.
He probably didn’t realize that I was hurting him, because of whatever this new super serum had done.
What was wrong with me, hurting him when I loved him?
What was that? I wasn’t a villain anymore, but how could I help it when I only had this one day to be with him?
I shouldn’t have stopped and talked to people I barely knew instead of holding onto Dirk in the back of a limo.
“Yes. He’s excellent at supporting my music.
We have to go. It was so lovely to see you both.
” I dragged Dirk away from them, still holding his hand too tight, like I couldn’t let go.
What if I couldn’t let go? What if I took up stalking him and kept him away from every nice girl who could possibly make him happy?
I was so busy panicking that I ran right into the girl standing in the middle of the hall, staring at me like I was a supervillain, or I would have run into her if Dirk didn’t pull me back into his arms, holding me close, making me realize just how much he’d been letting me pull him around.
“James? What are you doing here?” she asked, all fluttery hands at her throat. An older woman appeared at her side carrying a toy poodle.