Chapter 39
Bella passed Olivia the ice cream and opened another box of pictures. “It isn’t your fault.”
Olivia frowned, the muscles at the corners of her mouth pulling down hard. “If you knew what I did, you wouldn’t say that anymore.”
“So tell me. Tell me all of it.”
Olivia shook her head. “I can’t do that.”
“Why the hell not? You’re spending an awful lot of energy mentally flogging yourself. The least you can do is share the whole story so I can flog you, too.” She held up a picture. “Is this Aunt Holly or Uncle Mark?”
“I have no idea.”
“Maybe you’re afraid I won’t think what you did was so bad,” said Bella.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, if I think it’s understandable and oh-so-very-human, while you think it’s the worst thing a person can do, you probably don’t want to hear that. You’re not ready to forgive yourself.”
Olivia let her spoon sink deep into the ice cream, pulling out chunks of chocolate and fudge. “I don’t deserve to be forgiven.”
“Would you be so upset with yourself if Marco hadn’t died?”
“I don’t know.” She pushed the ice cream away. “Probably not.”
Bella sighed. “Come on, pass that over here.” She reached for the carton. “Who was the hot guy at the funeral?”
“Trevor Hawkins.”
“Is he the one you were stranded with at the cabin?”
Olivia nodded.
“While you had amnesia.”
She nodded again.
“It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what happened, Livy.”
Olivia rested her cheek against the cool wood of the table. “I knew I was engaged to someone else, and I slept with him anyway.” An image of them making love filled her mind, and she shook her head to clear it. “He’s the one who killed Marco.”
Bella’s eyes went wide. “No shit? He killed him for you?”
“No! I asked him not to, and he killed him anyway.”
“Wait. Why would the guy you were banging kill the guy you were engaged to if it wasn’t to get him out of the picture?”
“You make me sound so wonderful.”
“I’m not judging, Livy, just explain.”
Olivia sighed. “Because Marco killed Trevor’s friend, and he was about to kill another one.”
Bella pointed with her spoon. “I told you Marco was bad news. Sounds like this Trevor guy did the world a favor. Are you in love with him?”
“What? Of course not. I barely know the man.”
“Livy and Trevor, sittin’ in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g!”
“Geez, Bella. Why do I even talk to you?”
Bella had her eyes closed and was making out with an invisible man, her arms wrapped around nothing.
Olivia slammed her hand on the table and yelled. “Bella, I need your help, and you’re making fun of me!”
Bella stopped. “I tried giving you advice first. It was good advice, too.”
“Oh, yeah? What was that?”
“To stop beating yourself up for sleeping with the hot soldier guy in the cabin, and maybe even realize you stumbled into one of the best things that could ever happen to you, instead of blaming him for your mistakes with Marco.”
“My mistakes?”
“Yes. Your mistakes. You’re not pissed because Trevor killed him. You’re pissed because you were ever engaged to him, and you feel some bizarre sense of duty to the bastard that makes you hate yourself even more. Am I close?”
Olivia stood up, putting the top on the ice cream and dropping her spoon in the sink. “I don’t want to talk anymore.”
“I’ll bet you don’t. But unless you’re planning to lose your mind again, I think you’re pretty screwed. You’re going to have to think about it sooner or later.”
Olivia stood at the sink, one hand on either side as she stared beyond her reflection to the twinkling lights of Los Angeles.
“Listen, I’ve got to get going,” said Bella. “But I was hoping you could help me out again.”
Olivia closed her eyes. “How much do you need?”
“Well, Kenny moved out last week and we were a few months behind on the rent…”
“But I just gave you money last month! What did you do with it if you didn’t pay your rent?”
Bella counted on her fingers. “There’s groceries, and student loans, and I needed a few clothes, and Kenny’s car broke down…”
“I gave you ten thousand dollars.”
“The cost of living in L.A. is outrageous.”
“So get a job.”
Bella crossed her arms. “You know I’ve been looking. It’s not like I can just go do a movie and make a bazillion dollars like some people.”
Olivia sighed. “I’ll give you fifteen hundred. That will cover this month’s rent and some groceries.” She pulled out her checkbook.
“Fifteen…there’s no way I can get by on fifteen!”
“I don’t think I’ve been doing you any favors by giving you money.” She tore out the check and handed it to her sister. “Here’s food and shelter. You have to work out the rest for yourself.”
“Fuck you, Olivia.”
Bella stormed out of the room, the sound of the front door slamming moments later. Olivia went to the table and picked up Bella’s ice cream bowl, walked to the sink, held it up high, and let it fall.
It shattered into a hundred tiny pieces.
Feeling slightly better, she turned off the kitchen light and went upstairs to bed, eager to forget both Trevor and Bella, if only for a while.