Chapter 19 Kailin
KAILIN
"Sometimes, the mind protects itself by hiding from us the things we need to forget."
—From 'The Healer's Journal'
By Master Physician Layla Denick
Istretched, feeling surprisingly rested for the first time in days, my mind clear rather than foggy or confused. If I had dreamt, I didn't remember my dreams, and that felt like a gift.
"Good morning." Alar smiled from where he was getting dressed for conditioning. "You look rested."
"I am." I sat up in bed. "I feel good, probably because I can't remember any dreams from last night."
"Maybe the half dose wasn't enough to trigger the visions."
"It would seem so." I tried to recall anything from the night.
Usually, even when I didn't have prophetic dreams, I remembered at least fragments from my regular dreams, but last night was a complete blank. It was as if I'd closed my eyes and opened them again moments later. "It's odd, though. I always remember something."
"Perhaps it's for the best." Alar sat on the edge of the bed and kissed my cheek. "You needed the rest."
After I returned from the bathroom, I quickly got dressed, and we headed out, joining the stream of cadets making their way to conditioning. Climbing the stairs was still an effort, but not as bad as it had been the day before.
Outside, the morning air was crisp, carrying the scent of snow from the higher peaks, but it was sunny, and as I lifted my face to the warmth, a familiar presence touched my mind.
"Kailin." Nyxath's mental voice rang clear and strong. "Saphir can see you during lunch today. He invites you to dine with him in his office."
Surprise stopped me mid-step, causing Alar to look back in concern. "Thank you," I told Nyxath. "I'll be delighted to have lunch with Saphir."
"What is it?" Alar asked as the mental connection withdrew.
"It was Nyxath. Saphir wants to have lunch with me today." I resumed walking.
He chuckled. "It's convenient having a direct line of communication to the dragon queen."
"I should have just walked up there and asked his assistant for a meeting instead of bothering her. I feel bad about it. But then having to climb these drakking stairs multiple times a day is just too daunting."
The conditioning session was as brutal as expected.
Captain Odinah had us running hill sprints, which meant racing up the steep incline repeatedly until our legs burned and our lungs screamed for mercy. By the third sprint, I was flagging badly.
"Strom," Odinah called out. "That's enough for you. Cool down and stretch."
I wanted to protest. I hated being singled out as weak, but my body was genuinely at its limit, and I had those stairs to look forward to, so I nodded gratefully and moved to the side.
After conditioning, I showered quickly, trying to wash away the fatigue along with the sweat. The hot water helped a little, but my legs still trembled as I dressed in my uniform, and the thought of climbing eleven floors made me want to cry.
"I could carry you," Alar offered as we stood at the base of the stairs.
"You need to get lunch."
"I can skip lunch," he said. "I could at least walk with you. Make sure you don't collapse."
"Thank you, but no." I stretched on my toes to kiss him quickly. "I'll see you at class."
"Take it easy," he said, worry clear in his voice. "And eat as much as you can. You need the calories."
"I will."
The climb was every bit as awful as I'd anticipated.
By the fifth floor, my legs were shaking.
By the eighth, I had to stop and rest, leaning against the wall while my heart hammered against my ribs.
Second-year cadets and staff passed me, some offering concerned looks, but I smiled and waved them on.
When I finally reached the top floor, I was light-headed and nauseated, and as soon as Saphir’s assistant saw me, he immediately motioned for me to sit.
"Forgive me for saying this, but you don't look good. Are you sick?"
"Just tired," I said.
Maybe I was sick? That would explain why I wasn't recovering. Perhaps I had the wasting disease? Perhaps I should see the medic?
"The Shaman will see you now," the cadet said. "You can go right in."
The few minutes of rest had done wonders for me, and as I walked into Saphir's office it was on steady legs. I was once again mesmerized by the incredible view from his windows, so I didn't notice the round dining table until I shifted my gaze to Saphir.
It was set for three and laden with a variety of food that didn't belong together. Small sandwiches cut into triangles, bowls of pasta, and several small dishes filled with nuts, figs, and other dried fruit.
"Thank you for granting me this appointment," I said. "Especially given the unusual channel I used. I apologize, but I just didn't know how else to arrange this."
"Nyxath was glad to forward your message, and I'm always glad to see you. Come, take a seat. You look exhausted."
"The stairs," I admitted, sinking into the offered chair. "It's the second time I've had to climb them today."
"Ah, yes, I keep forgetting that you are not bonded to a dragon yet and have to climb to get here instead of just flying up." He pushed a plate toward me. "Eat. These sandwiches are delicious. Goat cheese with pickled onions and a sauce made from fermented peppers. Moki loves them."
That didn't sound particularly appetizing to me, but I was on a mission to recover my strength, so I reached for one.
Moki, who was seated on a thick cushion so he could reach the table, chittered excitedly and pointed at the bowl of noodles as if to say that these were his favorite, not the sandwiches.
"Thank you." I took a bite from the sandwich, not expecting the combination of flavors to be so delicious. It was spicy and savory with a hint of sweetness from the herbs.
The next few minutes were spent eating, and I enjoyed watching Moki scooping up noodles with the help of two sticks instead of a fork. I wanted him to teach me how to do that, but that would waste precious time that I didn't have.
"You are probably wondering why I asked to see you," I said.
Saphir settled back in his chair. "I assumed you had more questions for me."
"I do, but that comes second. What's more urgent is my friends being told about the prophecy. How can they save the world when they don't even know that's expected of them?"
Saphir's eyebrows rose. "I thought you'd already told them."
"You didn't give me explicit permission to tell them, and I wasn't sure what I was allowed to share."
That was a roundabout way of stating the truth without revealing that I wasn't bound by his compulsion, as he probably assumed.
"Ah." He looked surprised. "My apologies. I didn't realize that. Yes, of course you can tell them. But they should keep it a secret from others. At least for now."
He had made such a big deal out of the prophecy when he'd told me about it, and now he was treating it as something trivial. Dealing with the shaman was frustrating.
"Shouldn't you be the one telling them? I mean, the prophecy is a huge deal. Saving the world, opening portals to recover lost dragon eggs, and the shamans guarding them. I'm not sure my friends would even believe it coming from me."
He laughed. "Oh, they'll believe you. You are the Hero of Elucia, the savior, the dream prophet, but I see your point. I'll tell the other three tomorrow, during the field trip."
I wasn't even surprised that he'd figured out I had already told Alar, but I had no idea what he was talking about in regard to the field trip.
"Where are we going?" No one had said anything about going anywhere. I was sure that our instructors would have told us if we were going on a field trip tomorrow.
"We are going to visit the temple ruins at Mount Hope," Saphir said in a tone that made it sound like I should have known that.
"Are you sure it's tomorrow? It's not on the schedule."
"Oh, you are right." He looked sheepish. "It's supposed to be next week, but I can move the trip up. The temple ruins are the perfect spot for telling your friends about the prophecy, and since you are eager for them to be in the know, it needs to happen tomorrow."
I hadn't said anything about the timing, only that it needed to happen soon, but if he could do that tomorrow, I wasn't going to argue.
"Will you take just the five of us? Or the entire class?"
He pursed his lips. "I would have preferred to take just you and your friends, but that would look odd, and your classmates would wonder why the five of you are getting special treatment. But don't worry. I'll find a way to sneak the group off somewhere private."
I studied him, once again wondering about his mental state. He seemed scattered at times, and I wondered if it was an act or if the long centuries of life had actually affected his mind.
Moki finished his noodles, wiped his mouth and paws with a napkin, and then surprised me by jumping into my lap. I stroked his silver-white fur automatically, and he purred like a cat.
"I miss my dog," I said. "Chicha would have loved it here, and I have a feeling she and Moki would have gotten along splendidly."
"Ah, your little dog. She also deserves a medal. She saved a lot of people at the square that day, preventing a much worse disaster by sounding the alarm."
I was surprised that he knew that, but then Shaman Saphir Fatewever seemed to know everything. Did he also know about Chicha saving my village five years ago?
"Yes, my dear Kailin. I know about that as well."
I immediately lifted my mental barrier, barring him from seeing my thoughts again.
"My apologies, Kailin," Saphir said. "I didn't mean to snoop in your head, and I didn't. Sometimes you just think very loudly.
Moki does that too, even without meaning to communicate with me.
He projects such vivid images into my head that I have a difficult time ignoring them even though I've seen the same green vistas countless times over the long years he's been my companion. "
I looked down at Moki and realized that he must be at least over a thousand years old if Saphir had brought him from the world he'd been hiding in with the dragon eggs. "Is his kind long-lived naturally, or does his longevity have to do with you or Nyxath?"
"It doesn't work that way. The dragon-rider bond is unique in prolonging the lives of riders." Saphir smiled indulgently. "Moki's kind are naturally long-lived, assuming nothing eats them prematurely, that is."
Moki chittered angrily at Saphir, looking offended.
"It's the truth," Saphir said to him. "Your kind's only defense against predators is your intelligence. You are physically defenseless. You should be grateful I brought you here where you're safe or you would have been eaten a long time ago."
Moki cast Saphir another offended look and then turned his back on him, curling more firmly into my lap. I thought about the images Moki had shared with me of his family and his world. How many of them were still alive? How many had fallen to those predators Saphir mentioned so casually?
"Nature is cruel," I murmured.
"It is," Saphir agreed. "Dragons eat sheep and goats. Humans eat both, plus cattle, chickens, and fish. Every predator was once prey to something else. It's the way of all worlds."
"I suppose."
"Speaking of eating," he said, pushing another sandwich toward me, "you need to consume more calories. You're far too thin."
"I lost a lot of weight during the night I dreamt about Podana, and I don't seem able to recover it.
I actually like being a little slimmer, but I don't like feeling tired all the time.
It's slightly better today because I didn't have dreams last night, or at least I don't remember them, but I still couldn't complete conditioning.
Even Captain Odinah took pity on me and told me to do some stretching exercises while she continued to torment the rest of the class. "
"That concerns me." Saphir leaned forward, studying me. "Have you been drinking the tea since that night?"
I looked down at the half-eaten sandwich in my hand. "I resumed drinking the tea after returning to the Citadel, but I had these disturbing dreams even without the tea."
"What happened after you drank it?"
I shrugged. "Surprisingly, I didn't dream at all."
"Stop drinking it," Saphir said. "Don't resume until you're completely recovered."
That was what I'd hoped he would say, but it made me uneasy. "I feel like I'm neglecting my duties when I'm not drinking it. What if there's another attack?"
"There are other ways to gather intelligence. You're no use to Elucia if you waste away to nothing." He waved his hand dismissively. "No more conditioning either, not until you're fully restored."
I felt a guilty surge of relief. "If you think that's best."
"I do. Your abilities are unprecedented, Kailin. We don't know what toll they're taking on your body or mind. We must proceed with caution."
"Have you ever felt depleted from using your shamanic abilities?" I asked.
"Never to this extent," he said. "The ceremony at the end of the pilgrimage takes a lot out of me because I scan the minds of over a thousand people each time.
It takes me several days to recover from that, but never more than a week.
Perhaps you get so depleted because you are not immortal yet. The bond will strengthen you."
"It had occurred to me, but the Day of Volition is five weeks away. Do I stop drinking the tea until then?"
"Let me think about that. Don't drink it until I say you can. Let's see if you can get your strength back without the bond."
Moki chose that moment to crawl up my chest and pat my cheek with one tiny paw, as if in agreement.
Saphir smiled. "Even Moki thinks you need to take care of yourself. Finish your sandwich and take the rest for later. You didn't eat enough."