Chapter 34
34
Tony leapt at my offer of a lift home, but he’s quiet until we’re done with busy roads. Once we hit winding lanes, he says, ‘Sorry, Genie. About earlier.’
I glance across quickly, smiling. ‘Don’t be.’
There’s a pause, then, ‘And me and you, we’re OK, are we?’
‘Of course. Better than OK.’
He touches my hand on the gear stick. ‘That’s good. Cos the last week or so, it’s felt like maybe you’ve been pulling back a bit.’
I suspect that played into this afternoon, but I keep staring down the path of the headlights. ‘Not really. I got a tiny bit insecure over something that’s not important. That’s all.’
His hand closes over mine. ‘Yeah, well, I reckon I’ve just shown you, I’m not exactly slow to get that way myself– where you’re concerned, anyhow. But, like, for the future, it’d be easier if you just tells me what you’re thinking.’ There’s a flicker of real pain in his voice. The last thing I want is to make his life harder.
‘Sorry. It’s hard sometimes, staying open. But I’m trying.’
‘I know, beauty. And I’d been thinking you was ready to step things up a bit. But if you’re not, I can hold off, if that’s what you need.’
‘It’s not.’ My voice is firm.
‘Thank Christ for that.’
I look across to him, and he’s grinning. We don’t talk any more. But anytime I can take my eyes off the road, the smile between us feels like everything’s going to be all right. So, I’m ashamed to say, when we pull up outside the cottage, I’m irritated to see Skylar sitting on the doorstep. That would be mean at the best of times, but it’s even worse today. She looks bereft, arms tight around her knees and her face all pinched.
I make a disappointed face at Tony. ‘I’m sorry. I was looking forward to it being just us.’
He reaches over and brushes my cheek. ‘Me too. Want me to get lost, so you can deal with this?’
‘Actually, would you mind helping me out?’
There’s a dart of his eyes, searching for an escape. ‘I dunno. I’m not exactly the best person when it comes to relationship advice.’
It’s lucky Sky wasn’t able to hear that. People cry over her, not the other way around. ‘It won’t be that. And honestly, you’re probably uniquely qualified to get her feeling better.’ I smile at him. ‘But if you can’t face it, I do understand.’
He still looks unenthusiastic. Comforting Skylar has to be the last thing he wants to do when he’s in pain, but he shrugs. ‘Nah, I reckon with you, there’s always going to be a fair number of waifs and strays. I might as well get used to it early.’
I have to suppress an excessively bright smile before I wave to Skylar. I mean, he wouldn’t say that if he wasn’t serious about us, would he? As I get out of the car, I do my reflex check for the red Ford I saw lurking the other day, but I’m not really expecting it to be there. I haven’t seen it since Tony got back last week. So, it was probably nothing. Just a valuable lesson about not getting worked up over shadows.
Walking up the path, I think Tony’s exaggerating the hobbling a touch, making sure I get to Skylar first to mop up any major hysterics. But today, it seems like it’s too serious for dramatics. As I reach her, she gets up and asks quietly, ‘Can I have a hug?’
I wrap her up in my arms. Skylar burrows her head into my shoulder. Holding her tight with one hand, I pull my keys out of my pocket with the other and pass them back to Tony. The minute he’s got the door open, Roudie bursts out. Tony catches my eye over Skylar’s shoulder. ‘I’ll take care of the pup, shall I? Get him fed while you two have a bit of a cuddle?’
‘Please.’ I guide Skylar round to my side, keeping my arm around her. ‘Come on. Let’s go and sit down.’
By the time we’re on the sofa, the tears have started. I stroke her hair and make soothing noises, until Tony can’t draw out looking after Roudie any longer. He puts a box of tissues on my lap and takes his time getting settled, leg elevated. Skylar blows her nose loudly and wipes at her eyes, spreading salty kohl streaks down her cheeks. She glares, determined not to cry in front of Tony. It exaggerates how young she looks when she’s upset. I feel like the mother of an overly determined twelve-year-old, when I ask, ‘Did you not get picked, sweetie?’
‘No. Jenny’ll start and Nas will be reserve. I don’t travel.’ She sounds tyre-slashing mad, but I think that’s mainly for Tony’s benefit. Sky’s been fighting all season to keep her first-team slot, so losing it has to cut deep.
I say I’m sorry, but then I leave space, willing Tony to take over. Whatever he has to say will be a hundred times more helpful.
Skylar’s less patient. ‘It’s so unfair,’ comes out in a wail.
Tony sits back and sniffs, almost as if he’s amused.
Skylar looks at him. ‘What would you know about it?’
He smiles, and at least it’s soft. ‘A fair bit, actually, love. I used to get like you and then some, if I didn’t get picked. Till it was pointed out to me, you’re not owed your spot, you earns it.’
‘It’s not the same for you,’ Skylar retorts, eyes sulky.
‘What, because I’m a man?’ asks Tony, his eyes blazing.
I force myself to sound calm. ‘It’s not about that. But you’ve never had to take a second job. What Sky’s paid for playing barely covers her bills.’
Maddeningly, Tony shrugs. ‘Yeah, but who plays isn’t ’bout who’s got the hardest-luck story. All that counts is performance.’ He looks over to Sky. ‘So how big’s the difference between you and this Jenny?’
I’m expecting Skylar to snap, but she tilts her head back and forth. ‘She’s not way better, just sharper. Or for the last few weeks, anyway.’
Tony glances at me and sighs. ‘Look, Sky, I’m gonna have time on my hands this week. How about I have a go at a spot of coaching, see if we can’t close the gap?’
I’d expect her to bite Tony’s hand off, but she looks ready to turn him down. Then she shakes her head. It’s not a no, more like she’s trying to dislodge something that’s stuck. ‘Yeah. All right, if you like,’ she manages, finally.
Tony ignores the missing thank you. ‘Might as well start now then. You got some replays we can look over?’
Skylar goes to fetch her bag, discarded in the hall. While she’s washing her face, Tony smiles at me, like there’s a shared joke.
‘Be nice, Tony, won’t you? She’s more fragile than she looks.’
Tony grins. ‘Fragile like a tank.’ I’m about to tell him he’s wrong, when he says more seriously, ‘Trust me, Genie. It’s what she needs. She’ll work a hell of a lot harder if she hates me.’
And maybe it’s not just Skylar he can read. Because his fingers stay intertwined with mine, even as he stops the match recordings every few minutes to pick up a positioning error or a lost opportunity for a run. And when it’s time to leave, the goodnight kiss isn’t quite the full-on passion I want, but it’s definitely turned up a few notches.