Chapter 73
RAFE TRU
We’re on Chason’s couch with my head in his lap and his fingers in my hair. My dad lied and my sister died. Inconceivable.
“I imagined bringing my sister home a million times. Not once did I consider that she’d passed. In my head, I’d be the hero who found her and brought her back to our family. Our pack.” My voice wavers with the admission of how foolish I’ve been.
His nails scrape my scalp, lulling me. “Hope is a gift with wings, but it can also lead to heartbreak. It shows your resilience to have that much hope after loss.” He hums, relaxing me even more. “Tell me something about your mom.”
I don’t talk about my mother. It was the thing no one could speak of. “My mom died in childbirth. It’s very rare for wolves, but she was in town and taken to a human hospital.”
“That must’ve been hard growing up.” Chason rubs my temple.
“There were whispers in the pack that I was cursed.” It sounds silly when I say it out loud, but I felt it deep in my bones. “They’re probably right.”
“Rafe Tru, look at me,” Chason demands, and I turn to gaze up into his honey eyes. “I’m not a master witch, but I know curses. You are not cursed. No curses can come into this house without detection, and you’ve been here several times.”
I blow out a slow breath. In some ways, it’s easier to blame a curse than myself. But I have to take responsibility for my actions and my part in the tragedies.
“Whatever you’re thinking, stop. Your grief is lying to you.” Chason yanks my hair and forces me to look at him.
“Bad things happen to people I love. That’s not a lie, it’s my reality. I find lost people, shifters, whoever, to keep my curse away from my pack,” I admit, and Chason clucks his disagreement.
“You really are a sweet lovebug, aren’t you?” He leans in to kiss my forehead.
“I’m not a lovebug,” I grumble, but sag into him.
“Hmmm.” Chason smiles. “I miss my good boy who didn’t talk back.” He laughs when I smack his arm. “Your wolf was putty in my hands.”
“He’s a touch-starved cuddle whore. Can’t blame him.” My mind refuses to acknowledge the pain of my dad’s lies. He should’ve told me.
“No worries, I blame you.” He nudges me, and I sit up. “I need groceries, so we can either eat out or shop, then cook something.”
My stomach rumbles at the mention of food.
“Out to dinner it is. I’ll take you to Hex & Hearth.”
The pub teems with magic and mystical creatures. I can usually identify other shifters, but I’ve given up trying. “This place is great.” We’re seated close to the fireplace by the porch and side garden.
“Yeah, it is. There are rules for using magic, creating a safe place and all.”
“You grew up here?” I ask, hoping he’ll give me more details.
He nods and munches a fry. “Yeah. Left for college and came back for my mom. I wanted out of this town, but it pulled me in and won’t let me go,” he says with a bright smile but dull eyes.
“Do you regret coming back?” I hate the idea of him being unhappy.
“No, it was a gift I wasn’t expecting. I resented my mom for working all the time and not volunteering in my classroom, coming to my events, or making me dinner every night.
I didn’t feel like her priority, and I’ve only ever wanted to be someone’s number one priority.
But the time gave me a chance to know her and forgive her.
She loved me the best she could, and even though she was dying, I wouldn’t trade a single moment of the heartbreak to save myself the pain. ”
“Really?” I ask, unsure if that’s the story he tells himself.
“Would you give up the time you had with your sister to save yourself pain?”
“No.” The silence sitting between us is a warm hug laced with compassion and understanding.
“If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?” I change the subject, genuinely curious.
Chason scrunches his cute nose, considering my question.
“I lived in Boston and I liked it, but I didn’t have a community.
So, leaving is a double-edged sword. Don’t need everyone in my business all day, every day, but it’s hard to find your people.
The friendship can’t be based solely on biological similarities as witches. ”
“I get it. I’m an outsider in my pack, but without them, I’d have no one. It’s home.” My lips press together because there’s no changing it.
“Can I ask you a question?” He leans across the table. When I nod, his tongue pokes out, distracting me. “Why don’t you want a mate? Are you afraid of hurting them or getting left behind?”
I slump back into my chair. Chason cut through my bullshit and asked the thing that keeps me up at night.
There’s a lie on the tip of my tongue, but I can’t say it. I don’t think it’s possible to lie to him. Ever.
The truth is, he’s better off without me. Chason is everything a man or wolf could desire, and being with me will only cause him pain.
Breaking our bond won’t kill us. It’s too new and incomplete, but staying together could break us both.