Chapter 15
Gwendolyn slipped back to sleep very quickly after I made her come on my fingers, her body still drained from the faerie wine. I wished I could just take away her pain or even carry it for her. Just so she could feel better, if only for a moment.
The scent of her arousal lingered in the air, as intoxicating as if she were a goddess in the sea, just waiting to receive my soul. I didn’t move, didn’t touch. Not now. She was far too vulnerable, too raw, even if her body yearned for mine. Her safety mattered more than my desire.
When I left last night to bring her some tea, she must have been incredibly anxious.
Listening to her pleas and cries was the most terrible feeling ever.
And she was not alone. I met her shadow—who she thought about often, although she never mentioned him in front of me.
I sensed her curiosity like I sensed everything else about her.
I saw them dancing together at the ball—causing a gnawing feeling of jealousy, as I did not get to dance with her.
Gwendolyn mentioned her wish to go home, and a feeling of unbearable anger spread within me. I hated it, hated that she still thought that the human realm was her home. I knew she still believed it was the place where she belonged, but she belonged with me, here.
At the ball, it took every ounce of my restraint not to take her right there, just to show them she was mine.
The way they looked at her, like she was something to devour, like she didn’t already belong to me.
She wore my earrings—carrying my initials whether she noticed or not.
I could have torn them apart, one by one, plucked the lust from their eyes with my nails, my fangs and my shadows.
After she begged me to touch her even further, I wanted to give in.
But I was scared that I would lose control, her run from me through the Hall of Illusions already cost me so much patience.
Then she came on my fingers, and it made me so hard.
I wanted nothing more than to let her touch me back, however she was still too tired, and her well-being was way more important than my release.
She slept beside me now, lost to dreams, and the weight of what we have done pressed heavy on me…
I lay awake, wondering if I had stolen something I had no right to ask for.
Every part of me ached with the same desperate wish.
.. that she would not look back at us with regret.
Because I yearned for her sooo incredibly deeply.
It felt like I touched heaven, and there was no possibility for me to give up that feeling I felt when I was burying myself inside her.
A soft knock sounded at the door, so faint it might have gone unnoticed by anyone else who wasn’t a vampire. Our senses were unmistakably strong and heightened.
Slowly I stood up from the bed, opening the door. It shouldn’t startle me that he came back today to check on Gwendolyn. I’d seen how much her state had affected him, causing my friend to burst into the sky to flee from this situation.
“Is she better?” His words sounded fragile, like he was on the edge of bursting into tears. My friend was always quite sensitive due to his powers, and now Gwendolyn had become the reason for his unease. I was afraid he couldn’t keep the extent of his powers in check.
“Well, she drank a lot of faerie wine. I’m still angry at your slutty fish women that gave it to her.
” I hated that since people were aware of our bond, it ignited hate and envy in these women, with the goal to damage my love.
Whoever gave her the alcohol needed to be removed from this place.
Carnivalland should be a safe space for Gwendolyn, where she was to be respected and protected, and not put in danger.
I noticed him at the ball surrounded by women, worshipping him like he was their deity.
His gaze, however, was only directed to Gwendolyn with an intense hunger, keenly focused on her dancing.
I couldn’t blame him. That’s exactly how I felt seeing her at the ball, but her careless behavior that night caused me to become angrier than I could imagine.
I wanted to claim her in the Hall of Illusions, and I still planned to, but I did not want my first time with her to start in this dark place in her mind.
We would have plenty enough time to experience filthy sex—after I made her come at least once like a gentleman.
“Believe me, as soon as I found out. I made every single one of them leave through the underground tunnels. Except Aura and her useless friends. They are cruel and annoy the fuck out of me.”
The Underground Tunnels… I never expected my friend to be capable of such cruelty.
They were damp and narrow, the air thick with rot and silence.
The water was murky and foul where he forced the women to shed their human forms and return to their siren bodies, slipping into the dirty water like they weren’t worth more.
It was degrading. But the only other passage was above the Veil or through the hidden gate beneath the tunnels; paths that required time, magic, and care.
Apparently, effort was something these women weren’t deemed worthy of. At least not for him. And it also seemed not even for their God.
“Maybe Sparrow can try to use his siren powers to make her leave.”
“He tried, but it’s not that simple,” he muttered.
“Despite his appealing effect on women of his kind, Aura keeps threatening to go to my father, claiming my powers have shifted. And I’m sure she made up a lot of lies about us to make it even worse.
But if she ever dares to look Gwendolyn in the eye again…
I will kill her. Eventually, I’ll have no other choice.
” Or his dragon form would. He never talked about this, but I knew it’s what he was implying by his threat.
His gaze drifted to where Gwendolyn lay, asleep in my bed, and I felt the weight of his fury settle on me.
“You hid her from me,” he said, his voice sharp. “She’s mine too.”
Unfortunately, deep down, I already knew Gwendolyn would be bonded to him as well, as soon as she revealed being saved by him in his sea-dragon form and was able to communicate with him.
The thought of sharing her twisted something raw inside me.
I hated it. But fate bonds were rare and sacred.
Being separated from the one you’re destined for…
it could tear you apart. As much as I hated the idea of her being bonded to someone else as well, I wouldn’t wish the feeling of being star-crossed on anyone, especially not to my friend.
Not even while every part of me ached with the need to claim this bewitching woman as mine, and mine alone.
“Then why are you lurking like a creepy stalker behind her? Why didn’t you come to meet her like an actual normal man?” I asked.
“Xavier,” he said quietly, his voice laced with something between wonder and disbelief.
“I never expected her to be my mate. I knew she was yours. Gods, I felt it the moment you looked at her. So how could she be mine too?” He went to the side where she was sleeping and stared at her—the same way I did the first time I saw her.
“But she is. I know it. I feel it in every part of me. Her soul… it calls to mine, even my power, the dragon inside me yearns for her. And if she’s bonded to both of us, then there’s a chance my brother will be hers, too.”
I exhaled, as the realization of their bond went through me. Why didn’t I think about it earlier?
The angel she mentioned… was Malakai. The dreams, the echoes of him she had told me about in the library.
There had even been some nights where I listened to her whispering in her sleep, believing it had been her nightmares, but it was him.
Fragments in my memory collided when Gwendolyn told me in the library, “It’s as if he’s wrapped in light and shadow all at once.
I never see him, but I feel him, almost like a guardian protecting me. ”
“She is completely knocked out, can’t be just the faerie wine, or?” His question brought me out of my haze.
“Well, she is a human, they are more sensitive. She also didn’t sleep last night. I mean, you noticed her mental condition,” I stuttered, letting him recall the moment where he found her crying.
He traced his fingers along her hair, like he was too afraid to touch her skin.
“There is no way that we could be mated to a human, they are not even a species in our world. And more than one mate is super rare… I’ve actually never heard of it before. Do you think that the Witchmaker might have anything to do with it?”
I shook my head. “I know the Witchmaker is said to be the most powerful sorcerer in the world—being able to open any kind of portal, however I do not see any reason for him to care about us being bonded to Gwendolyn. Furthermore, there is still no real proof that he still lives, as reports about him stopped years ago. I assume it was Leanan who had a hand in this.”
“Your mother? Why would she?”
“Because I’m very sure I met Gwendolyn before, when she was barely a teenager.
Maybe thirteen or fourteen years old—way too young to fully understand what mates were.
I felt the streak of the connection as soon as I touched her.
She was mine. I wanted to see her again, when she was old enough for me.
At that time however, I had no idea that Leanan knew about us being bonded to her and that she had already found Gwendolyn. ”
Damien looked at me like he did not understand a single word of what I was saying.
“What are you talking about? When was this? When did you meet her?”
“It was probably over three or four decades ago.” I never told Gwendolyn about it, too afraid that she would not believe me and only remove herself further.
“But humans age, and she looks to be in her early twenties. It can’t be that long...”
“I’m telling you, Damien, that Gwendolyn was no human when I met her.”
“You mean your mother cursed her to become a human? Why?”
“I’m pretty sure it is the revelation they were talking about, the reason you got expelled from Aetrum.
The fear of someone being bonded to a possible god with an unknown power and the ability to transform into a sea dragon.
When Leanan found out that we were both connected to her, maybe she was afraid that fulfilling the connection would intensify your powers.
As a result, Gwendolyn became some sort of danger to her. ”
“But do you have any proof of that?”
I shook my head. “For the last few years, it has been my secret mission to find out where Leanan hid herself. I knew she was banned to the Dark Forest after betraying my father. But no one has seen or heard from her since. Since Gwendolyn arrived here, I couldn’t sleep as I was way too overtaken that this woman came back to me. ”
“How did she come back? She must have opened the portal herself, but as a human it is unlikely she was able to do that without help.”
“I don’t know how she came here…” I spoke.
I was almost hesitant at first. “It was like a strike of lightning in my chest and then my raven flew from my window, straight to her. He brought her to the hedge of roses, right where the portal opened. But I don’t need any signs or proof to tell me she’s mine.
I know. Her soul, her body, every part of her already belongs to me.
As surely as I breathe, she is mine.” I paused, looking at Damien, something primal flickering behind his eyes.
I knew he was thinking about me claiming her before him. ..
“If your mother knew about our connection to her, she must have known—” his voice was tight, almost like he was afraid to speak it out aloud. “—then she must’ve known that my brother and I would be bonded to her as well.”
Damien’s words echoed inside my mind. If my mother was aware of our shared connection to her, she’d know the effect it could have if we all bonded with her.
“It’s fate Xavier. And it’s dangerous. You know what happens when angels are mated, especially with ancient blood inside them.”
I could have imagined what it looked like… but I wasn’t so sure.
“Tell me…”
“His kind… they aren’t built for balance once the bond forms. An angel’s mate becomes his purpose, his anchor.
Without their grounding presence, he falls.
But with her…” Damien exhaled almost like he was too afraid to speak any further “…with her, the angel burns. Bright. Wild. Uncontrollable…” She’d free him from any kind of control.
“Then where is he, Damien? If you both feel the bond… if he even communicates with her in some ways… where the hell is your brother?”
He was silent for a few moments until he found his words again. “I haven’t seen him… at least not in the last fifteen years.”
I was shocked, how could he be aware of a possible bond between Gwendolyn and him and not yet tried reaching out to his brother?
“After my father banished me from Aetrum, he vanished. No letters. No whispers. Not even in my dragon form could I find him.”
“You’re telling me you’ve known this bond existed, and you didn’t think to look for him?”
“I did look. For years. But I was sure he didn’t want to be found. He probably feared the prophecy more than we did. While I thought the nightmare bringer was a fairytale, he truly assumed it could pose a danger to us.”
“And now Gwendolyn’s caught in the center of it. You, me… and a ghost of a brother who could return any day and claim what’s his,” I said. My voice trembled with frustration. I couldn’t deny that I was angry with the entire situation.
“He won’t claim her for himself. Despite the jealousy of his kind, he knows to respect the bond we share.”
“Then the bond might break him, knowing he won’t be able to have her for himself,” I said.
“Or the bond might bring him back.”
A beat of silence and then we both stared at her… Gwendolyn, she was still so beautifully asleep, so completely unaware of what was going on.
“It could tear her apart…” I muttered, unwilling to say more. If Gwendolyn really felt the connection to him before, that must be one of the reasons she wasn’t fully letting go here—she had nightmares and felt anxious. It wasn’t her feelings, but his.
“Worse, it would not only tear her apart. It could tear us all apart. Brother against brother. Friend against friend. One pull too strong, one moment of jealousy, and the bond begins to fracture. And when angels fracture… it’s worse than any downfall of any other kind…”
And my realm already felt it… I felt it. I might have been too caught up in wanting her all to myself, but if we make one wrong move it could break her heart… it wasn’t just her we would lose.
“We could become monsters,” Damien said quietly. It was something he had been afraid of for so long—that his inner dragon would take over and destroy everyone else around him, including the ones he loved.