Chapter 32 #2
“Xavier is right, we need to keep Leanan in check when she comes, and as soon as we know what her plan is, then we’ll know how to fight back,” I said.
I knew Leanan. She was vicious and would never dirty her hands for work that could also be done by some stupid men that fell at her feet.
I stood up from the bed and put on my trousers and a new shirt.
I ran my fingers through my hair and opened the doors of my balcony.
One of my abilities as an angel was to sense emotions and spirits in the air.
I felt foreign magic coming through the Veil.
My fingertips brushed over poisonous energy, making me feel disgusted.
“Yes… I can sense it, they are near, it still is not near enough to find out which side of Carnivalland they will enter from.” I walked over to my armoire and grabbed my small sword, dunked in poison in case a certain someone does more than just look around.
The poison was not strong enough to kill someone; the side effects, however, could paralyze your body for several hours.
“What do you plan on doing with this?” Gwendolyn asked from behind me.
“When she comes, I’m prepared. I will face her.” I was sick of Leanan being the reason I was trapped in darkness for so long. I owed it to my little robin to destroy what almost destroyed us.
My love stood right behind me, her arms caressing my wings. I turned around to see her eyes filled with tears. My thumb quickly brushed them away from her skin.
“I don’t want Leanan near you again… there must be other options. Don’t let this woman touch you ever again. Promise me.”
I loved this woman more than I should, making it incredibly hard for me to talk against her. But never would I let Gwendolyn put my life above hers. So, I shook my head. “I can’t, baby, it’s my job to protect you. I need to confront her, to get my revenge for what she has taken from me, from us.”
Without a word, she tried to storm off. I grabbed her hand to stop her from leaving.
“Don’t you dare come after me right now,” she screamed, making me flinch, before she ran off.
“I will go after her. We’ll meet in one hour in the anteroom to discuss further plans with my soldiers,” Xavier said and left the room.
I looked at my brother, and I could sense anger. “You would have done the same. Stop bothering me with your disapproving look.”
“Yes, but it’s still different. You got tortured by Leanan. Gwendolyn’s overprotective and anxious behavior is normal. You guys just bonded, and now you are telling her you’re going to meet up with your fucking rapist. You know the guilt she feels about your captivity.”
“I know.” I still felt it lingering in her touch.
“I don’t think you really know, she cried herself to sleep for days.
Xavier was almost desperate enough to ask a moon witch for a spell of forgetting.
He even thought of initiating a meet-up with his mother himself to take her captive, putting the entire existence of Carnivalland in danger.
My abilities made me feel the same pain as her.
While this kind of emotion mostly turns into hate or revenge after some time, she instead became disgusted with herself.
She skipped dinners and avoided carnival fests, although Sparrow threw them all in her name.
Feeling shunned by her own mate has been the most terrible feeling in the world.
Her cries, her shame, the helplessness —it was unbearable.
You have no idea how many times I wanted to transform into my dragon to find Leanan and rip her to pieces, despite the risk of revealing myself as the sea god in front of my father.
Gwendolyn thought you would never be able to touch her without thinking of the sexual assault by this monster of a woman.
So please, brother, don’t ever act like you know how she felt. ”
“It is my main ambition to protect her from Leanan. You have no idea of the things she is willing to do for power.”
“Then why don’t you tell me what she did? I’m your brother. If you trust neither me nor your mate, who will you be able to trust at all?”
“I trust you both. I just couldn’t stand the pity. I don’t want to see my woman being hurt, so I’ll stay careful with my actions and information. I wouldn’t survive the feeling of being the reason she’d be in pain.”
“Brother, you should really stop worrying about what she can’t take.
Gwendolyn is much stronger than we think.
Leanan’s intention in torturing you was for your trauma to drive a wedge between you and Gwendolyn.
You think you made the right decision in order to protect her, when you know she is bound by fate to you.
She was made to see all of our darkest parts and love them. ”
Maybe my brother was right. The whole time I didn’t want her to see all of me, as I thought it would tarnish her beautiful soul.
It was never imaginable to me that I would walk into her life, a total stranger at first, and that I would ever become so important to her.
Bond or not, I did not care. And while we’ve only known each other personally for a short time.
I felt as if my soul had already loved her for a lifetime.