Chapter 33
I needed to leave this room as fast as possible, feeling myself on the edge of bursting into tears.
My entire soul felt like it was breaking apart, and I wasn’t sure how long I could hold it together.
I was so angry—so angry at myself and how I wasn’t able to keep my emotions in check.
The thought of Malakai putting my protection above his well-being and even risking our bond to see the woman who abused him again made me sick and angry.
I wanted to be the one protecting him, and yet I felt helpless. The disappointment I felt about this entire situation stirred the chaos inside me, making me dizzy and confused.
How could he even consider meeting up with her again after what she’d done to him, after what she had taken from us?
“Baby, calm down. Let me help you,” Xavier spoke softly behind me.
But I didn’t want to look him in the eyes and to allow my pain to become his.
This weight on my shoulders, the overwhelming pain of feeling too much.
I’d always been sensitive, flooded by too many emotions and guilt, but I could not bear that Xavier would drown in my madness as well.
I kept on going without any kind of direction until he grabbed me by my waist and pinned my body against the wall.
“Holding back is not good, my love. I need you to let all the emotions, the anger, the sadness, the rage come out. Hit me, fight me, yell at me all you want. But don’t shut me out.
” Xavier’s face looked pained, and it hurt me that it was caused by my emotional outburst. I never wanted to hurt any of them.
“I could never hit you Xavier, I love you. I love you all so much… and often it feels like too much. I don’t know how much longer I can feel this much. Sometimes I think that my life would have been easier if your little raven wouldn’t have brought me here…”
The moment the words left my lips, regret washed over me.
Xavier’s eyes became dark red. Shit, he was angry, and I couldn’t really blame him.
Maybe it was the fear after being bonded to all of them, of experiencing so much love, that someone would just take it away from me and that’s why I felt the need to sabotage myself.
“I’m sorry…I—” Before I’d ended my apology, Xavier’s body pressed tightly against mine, opening up the robe and revealing my naked body to him.
His fingers glided over my breasts down to pinch my clit.
“I own you, my little demon. There will never be words to describe this kind of love and carnal desire you stir up inside me. You hate that you feel too much right now? Think about how it felt seeing you in pain, hearing your cries every single night. If you ever wish to leave this place, then you’re going to take us with you, otherwise you’ll be spanked so hard you won’t walk for a year. ”
His strong hands pressed against the wall on either side of my face, forcing me to look right into his intense eyes. As soon as I nodded, Xavier’s lips captured mine in a hungry dance, his tongue seeking entry in my mouth, craving the burn just as much as me.
“Bite me,” I whispered between his kisses against my face. I noticed how his face moved away from me, as his eyes searched mine, probably questioning my sanity.
“Please.” I didn’t know what was wrong with me right now or why I reacted so strongly to his touches, all I knew was that I needed him to mark me, claim me.
“Gods, I love it when you beg… and yet begging is so unnecessary. The ancient gods and goddesses blessed me with these lips to make sure I’d use them to taste every single sweet inch of your skin,” Xavier stated, before he began sucking my left breast. His teeth sank into the skin above my left breast, the blood running down to my heat.
His tongue licked it off in soft motions.
He did the same with my other breast. The pain was immense and breathtaking at the same time—nothing compared to it. I felt everything and it wasn’t enough. I needed more. I needed him.
“And my eyes and their sharp gaze exist only for the purpose of drinking in your beauty, to see how your body shivers under my touch, the alluring brown eyes widening when I make you come,” he continued, his fingers stroking my clit in circles causing a gasp to slip past my lips.
“And my ears—I only need them to listen to these exact moans caused by pleasure, or the way you whisper foolishly sweet things in your sleep.” Xavier pressed his thumb even harder against my clit, as his other hand kept trailing along my arms, his tongue darting out to taste my neck.
“Your blood is so precious baby… so sweet. I can’t get enough of you,” he stated, as he kept licking the blood trailing down my body. The gesture didn’t deter me how I’d expected because every part of me, including every drop of my blood, had always belonged to him.
Xavier’s lips brushed against the curve of my jaw, pressing soft kisses against my skin. My muscles loosened, and I became even more aroused. I stared back at him, as his red gaze captured mine. He was starving for me, just as I was starving for him.
And then Xavier unbuckled his belt, and I stared even more…
It didn’t matter how often we’d slept together… I’d always blush at the sight of his bare body. The way he shoved his pants and boxers down to his feet. He was such a sight to behold, and I was so lucky to call him mine.
“And my cock has its own purpose,” Xavier whispered against my face, as he lifted one of my legs around him, “to give you pleasure, satisfaction, to stretch every inch of your pussy and make it my home.” As soon as the last words left his lips, his cock forced its way into me.
“My entire body is meant to satisfy you every need and desire, my love,” he continued, his voice rough. “I want to fill you with pleasure, over and over… You have no idea how hard it has been for me, knowing you were just one room away in Malakai’s bed,” he purred against my face.
“Do you know how much I yearn for you?” he asked, as he thrust even deeper into me, causing me to bite my lip as I suppressed another moan.
“My feelings are not near madness or limerence, these would be undermining the feelings I have for you. I yearn for you in ways no vampire has ever yearned before. You are such a poisonous, sweet little thing. You have branded yourself into my soul, into my brain to the point that every single one of my thoughts is possessed by you. Without you nothing works anymore,” he rasped, rolling his hips in perfect sync against mine.
His face buried in my neck, as my arms looped around him, inhaling his intoxicating scent.
It was impossible to keep up with his movements; with the way he thrust so deep and fast into my pussy. If he wouldn’t be supporting my legs, I’d already be a puddled mess on the floor.
Xavier’s eyes were fixed on me. He almost looked vulnerable for a moment.
We were both so close to the edge.
My inner walls clenched, begging for release. “Nothing will ever be as good as the feeling of being inside your pussy.” With one last thrust we both came, I felt part of his release dripping down my leg, soaking my skin like it was something sacred.
He pressed his forehead against mine, catching his breath. My fingers trailed over his bare ass, my nails pinching into his flesh.
“Damn… what little disobedient thing have I awoken within you?” His hand grabbed mine, which was still over his naked ass cheek.
“You didn’t tell me you had such a love for my ass…
but then again you stared at Damien’s backside when we were in the coffee shop, so maybe you do have a preference then, love? ”
My cheeks flushed, as Xavier slowly closed my robe and shoved his pants back up his hips. With ease he lifted me into his arms, carrying me down the hall to his bathroom.
Gently, he sat me down on the bench, letting the water pour into the huge bathtub.
Memories from the first time I bathed here flooded through my mind, causing me to grin.
I used to hate his directness at first, but now I love having at least one mate being an open book to me.
It never mattered how I felt or what I said to him, this man was there every single moment.
I remembered how badly I wanted to go home, not knowing that he was my home.
Sometimes I forgot that I needed time at first to adjust myself to new situations, in the same way Malakai needed adjust himself to me. Our bond.
The smell of roses swirling around caused me to relax. I took off my robe, entering the bath slowly. My legs stretched out as soon as they hit the warm water.
“What about you?” I asked him, staring at him.
Xavier’s beauty was almost cruel as a blade, sharp enough to wound me, breathtaking enough to make me willingly bleed.
Every line of his face was crafted to ruin me at this very moment.
He embodied temptation carved from midnight and sin and he was all mine.
My lips immediately parted at the sight of him staring at me with such affection, as if he could already taste my surrender.
“You need to rest my darling. You look exhausted after what we just did.” My cheeks flushed and I felt a surge of heat coming over me again, especially being reminded of the impulsive sex we had against the wall.
“Only bathe with me, Xavier. Please.”
I felt so vulnerable after the confrontation with Malakai, and I needed to feel one of my mates against my skin.
“You look like you want to eat me… you are such an insatiable little doll,” Xavier said.
How could I not be insatiable, when he looked like some gothic prince that formed a rebellion against the devil?
“Says the vampire,” I replied, making him smile. Xavier stepped into the tub and his hands caressed over my shoulders and down my arms. He massaged my tense muscles causing a little whimper to escape me. Then his fingers stroked along my back, down to my ass where he dug his fingers in.
“Did you not say I needed rest?” I asked him in a provoking tone.