Chapter Six #4
Andrew presses his lips together, then sighs. “Okay. But just take it easy.”
The smile that lights Noah’s face is beautiful, and he leans over to kiss Andrew. “I will, I promise. I’m going to get some more of those mac-and-cheese balls. Anyone want anything?”
I demur, Andrew asks for the blood-infused crab cakes, and then Noah’s gone.
“Thank you for my party,” I say. “I know you hate having people over.”
He nods. “I really, really do. But, as Alistair says, you’re my bestest bestie. And fuck knows you deserve a party.”
I say nothing. I don’t trust myself to speak.
It was Andrew who had the insight to see when I needed help and the power to follow through on that.
It was Andrew who made sure I was never again forced to live in chaos.
Andrew has been a dependable part of my life since before I was old enough to advocate for myself, and I can never repay him for what he’s given me.
That he counts me a friend—much less one of his best friends—is an honor I cherish.
“Soooooo,” he begins, and I just know I’m going to hate what comes next. Cherishing his friendship doesn’t mean I think he’s perfect. “Since it’s just us here right now, let’s talk about you and Caolan.”
I look around desperately. There are nearly fifty people here, and not a single one of them will interrupt us.
“There’s nothing to talk about. How are you and Noah doing?”
“Sure there is,” he says, ignoring my attempt at deflection. “The two of you are practically living together.”
“We are not!” The words burst from me before I have a chance to consider what Andrew’s reaction to my vehemence will be.
Sure enough, he smirks. “Has he or has he not slept at your place, in your bed, with you, every night for the past week?”
“That’s because we’re using each other for sex,” I protest, but even to me it sounds weak.
He scoffs. “Fuck buddies don’t sleep over every night. They don’t bring each other food and cuddle in public. They don’t check in with each other several times a day.”
There is literally nothing I can say to contradict that. Wait—
“They do if they’re friends too.”
“Wow, you’re really going to be stubborn about this, aren’t you?
Okay, you and Caolan are friends. We’re friends too, right?
We’ve been friends for, oh, about four hundred and fifty years.
You and Percy have been friends just about that long too.
When was the last time you brought me or Percy coffee and a muffin and put your arm around us during a briefing?
” His smirk turns into a full-fledged grin.
“I don’t have time for a relationship right now,” I say, giving up on trying to pretend he’s wrong and just going for the blunt truth. “It can only be sex.”
The grin fades. “This isn’t a good time to be exploring new love,” he concedes, “but Caolan knows that, David. He’s just as much in the middle of this as you are.
Has he been pushing you for a bigger commitment?
No,” he continues before I can reply. “He hasn’t, because he knows you want to stay focused right now, and he respects the fact that you’re not ready for more.
” He stops, looks at me for a long moment, then sighs.
“Don’t,” I warn, but of course he ignores me.
“I understand why you’re wary. Caolan very impulsively declared feelings for you without ever having spoken to you.
He doesn’t believe in to-do lists and has spent his whole life ignoring the concept of time.
All those things trigger bad memories for you.
But you need to widen your view just a little. ”
The bastard stops there. I hold out as long as I can—which is not long—and then demand, “What do you mean?”
The smirk returns. I understand completely what Noah means when he says he sometimes wants to smack it off Andrew’s face.
“I’m just saying, Caolan has also put in a lot of effort learning about you.
He’s a well-respected aide to the king, trusted to carry out important duties like making contact with us.
And maybe he can’t tell time yet, but he’s trying to learn—for your sake.
He values you and he’s always attentive to what you need.
” Andrew shrugs. “It’s only been a few weeks, so I’m definitely not saying you need to make a lifelong commitment, but I think you should consider that he’s not like them .
You already know that, though, don’t you? ”
I sigh, pinch the bridge of my nose, and nod.
It’s impossible to deny. And yeah, we’re more than just fuck buddies—I know that too.
I’ve begun factoring Caolan into my schedule and my daily decisions.
I was just avoiding thinking about it, putting it off until after we’ve saved the world, because I’m chickenshit.
“I’m not disagreeing,” I say preemptively.
“I do have feelings for Caolan.” Saying it out loud just makes it seem more real, but I can’t deny the intrinsic rightness it makes me feel.
“I’m just… I can’t get past the fact that he leapt into this based on one look at me.
It’s exactly the sort of thing they used to do.
Something would catch their attention and they’d pour all their focus into it for a few days, then abandon it when the next shiny thing came along.
” They being my parents. And one of those not-so-shiny-after-all things was me.
My parents were so dedicated to their life of parties and social climbing that they poured every cent into it.
Some days, that meant I had to rely on myself to get fed while my parents ate at whatever social event they’d managed to wrangle an invitation to.
We sometimes had a housemaid, if there was enough money left that month after they paid for their indulgences, and she was a sweet girl who would bring me bits and pieces from her mother’s kitchen.
On a few occasions, my parents hied off for a few days to visit someone, forgetting they’d left a young boy at home alone.
I didn’t know where they’d gone, how long for, or even if they were planning to come back at all.
Worse than that, though, was autumn—hunting season.
House party season. They would rent our house out to make a little extra money for the next social season, then whisk me on a whirlwind of visits to strangers’ houses, where I was always unexpected and unwelcome.
I never knew where we were going or how long we would be there.
Schooling was deemed unnecessary beyond reading and writing—after all, as long as I could read and reply to invitations to social events, what other need for learning could there be?
My childhood was chaotic and disorderly until I was eleven, and I hated every second of it.
Andrew’s watching me with a pensive expression. “Sometimes I think about tracking your parents down and beating them to bloody pulp. It wouldn’t change anything, but it would give me immense satisfaction.”
“Me too,” I agree, “but I always refrain, because it really wouldn’t change anything, and they’re not worth the time and effort it would take.
They’re out of my life now, and Jane’s.” My sister was born long after I reached adulthood and cut all ties with my parents, so I didn’t learn of her existence until she was already four years old—and being neglected just as I had been.
I brought her to live with me and raised her myself—which, to be honest, I’m not sure our parents noticed—and even though children are incredibly chaotic, she was and is one of the biggest joys in my life.
“I’m not going to tell you how to live,” he says with an air of finality, “but I’m just saying, if you can see that your parents aren’t worth your time anymore, maybe don’t give them so much space in your head.
” He pauses. “Did Caolan tell you that I asked him what it was about you that attracted him?”
Mortification sweeps over me. “You didn’t.”
He laughs. “Of course I did. And that’s nothing compared to the grilling Gideon gave him.”
This is why some people prefer not to have friends.
“Anyway,” he continues, “you should ask him about it.”
It takes me a moment to realize that’s all he’s going to say.
“Wait, you’re not going to tell me what he said?”
He smiles over my shoulder, and I turn to see Noah approaching.
“Nope. I think you should ask Caolan. But only when you’re sure you’re willing to give things with him a chance.
” He tears his gaze away from Noah long enough to fix me with a serious look.
“Don’t lead him on, David. He’s a good guy. You deserve a good guy.”
Noah arrives before I can think of anything to say to that.
“You both look very serious. Should I come back?” he asks, hovering.
“No, we’re done with serious.” Andrew takes one of the plates he’s holding and tosses a crab cake into his mouth.
“Good, because the karaoke tournament should be wrapping up soon, and you know what that means.”
“I don’t know what that means.” Should I be worried? Don’t I have enough to think about right now, what with Caolan being amazing and Andrew making me wonder if I’m being an ass?
“Alistair and I wrote a schedule for tonight,” Andrew says between bites. “In honor of you. Because we know you love schedules, so it’s part of your gift. Alistair had a copy framed for you.”
I’m not letting myself get distracted by that. I’m really not.
“So what’s scheduled for after the karaoke tournament?” I really want to see this schedule.
“Pinata,” Andrew and Noah chorus.
“Are the contents of this pinata going to make me wish I’d never been born?” I ask Andrew.
He shrugs. “Anything’s possible.”
That does not make me feel better.
Aidan comes over to join us.
“David, cover your ears,” he instructs, then faces Andrew squarely. “I haven’t been able to get a straight answer out of Alistair, and that worries me. What’s in the pinata?”