Chapter Six #5
“What is with everyone asking me that? The whole point is to be delighted and surprised when it bursts and you discover what’s inside.” Andrew manages to sound offended even though he’s grinning widely.
Aidan and Noah exchange glances. “Can you assure us that we will actually be delighted and surprised, not horrified and shocked?” Aidan persists.
Andrew tips his hand in a so-so gesture. “I would be delighted and surprised” is his answer, and I groan.
Before any of us who are sane can make the decision to go in search of the pinata and confiscate it, the music from inside—and the horrible singing—cuts out.
“It’s pinata time!” someone—Alistair—shouts, and there’s a rousing cheer. Mostly from the hellhounds in attendance and our interdimensional guests, who are excited about every aspect of “the birthday party.”
“Too late now,” Aidan murmurs, and Noah makes an agreeing noise.
“Maybe it won’t be too bad,” he suggests. “It could be chocolate or cookies. You know how hellhounds are about cookies.”
I’m clinging to that hope and trying not to remember the time it was glitter. There was a light breeze that day, and that shit ended up everywhere . I found some in my underwear that night.
Or the time it was slime.
Alistair comes outside, carrying the pinata and followed by everyone who was inside, and one glance has me bursting out with laughter. They must have gotten it specially made, because I can’t imagine there would be much call for old-fashioned alarm clock pinatas.
“We tried to make it personal,” Andrew says dryly, and since nearly everyone there is acquainted with my obsession with schedules and timekeeping, there’s a round of laughter. He gets up and goes over to Alistair, and they begin arguing over the best place to hang it.
Caolan comes over to sit in Andrew’s chair.
“Did you have fun with the karaoke?” I ask him, and he shrugs.
“Singing is fun, but it’s hard without knowing the song,” he concedes. “Alistair and the other hellhounds take it very seriously. That makes it less fun.” He takes my hand, sending warm tingles spiraling through me. Should I pull away? Is it wrong for me to encourage him like this?
Fuck it. It’s my birthday. If ever there’s a time to be selfish, it’s today.
“Are you having fun?” he asks, and I smile at him.
“I am. I didn’t think I would, given everything that’s happening, but I really am.”
He leans over and kisses me softly. “Happy birthday.” He hesitates. “Did I say it right?”
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
I think I could fall in love with him.
“Yeah,” I manage. “You said it right. Thank you.”
“Okay!” Andrew calls, thankfully interrupting us before the moment becomes awkward. “The birthday boy gets three whacks, and if it hasn’t burst by then, anyone else who wants a turn gets one.” He hefts a—
“Andrew, for fuck’s sake, we can’t hit a pinata with a cucumber,” Noah says exasperatedly.
“But it’s a long one!” Alistair argues. Aidan groans. On the other side of the pool, Sam is laughing so hard, Gideon puts an arm around him to keep him from falling in.
“How are these people my best friends?” I ask nobody, and Caolan squeezes my hand.
“They balance you,” he says, “and you give them balance.”
I have to run that through my brain a few times.
I have a funny feeling it’s a direct translation that doesn’t work as well in English as it does in elvish, but it kind of makes sense.
And yeah, we do all balance each other out.
Gideon used to be a lot scarier when he first joined the team, for instance.
Noah’s gone over to the pinata and is going toe-to-toe with Andrew and Alistair over the cucumber.
Aidan is backing him up. Sam is still laughing—possibly because he can hear every word of the argument—with Gideon almost smiling indulgently at him.
Ellie’s recording it all with her phone, because that’s what we do when one or more of us makes an idiot of ourselves.
I twist around in my seat, searching for Percy. He’s standing near the sliding door with King Raeulfr and Brandt (both of whom had a go at karaoke and neither of whom should ever be allowed to sing in public), smiling widely.
Like a stab through the heart, I suddenly miss Lily.
Childhood friend to me and Percy, and one of our team members until Tish killed her, she would have loved this so much.
She would have rolled her eyes at Andrew and Alistair’s antics but then called me a stick in the mud and made me get up and use the cucumber.
And she would have loved Caolan. A guy who adores me unconditionally?
It’s what she always said I should hold out for.
When the other kids at school teased me about my timekeeping obsession, she told me not to worry, that one day I’d find the person who thought it was adorable and fell in love with me because of it.
She used to read a lot of the terrible heroic romances that were so popular back then, even sneaking them into the classroom and reading them in her lap during lessons.
When Tish murdered her, he killed the best person I’ve ever known.
Blinking away the sting of tears, I let go of Caolan’s hand and stand up.
“I guess I’d better move this along, or we’ll never get to the cake.
” I march over to where the great debate has degenerated into threats to make people sleep on the couch and take the cucumber from Andrew. He immediately protests.
“Get out of the way, unless you want to get accidentally clobbered.” I’m still not sure I can actually do this with a cucumber—although Alistair was right, it’s a long one. It’s highly likely that my hand is going to be smacking the pinata, though.
“Did someone spike your drink?” Andrew asks. “I thought we’d need to blackmail you.”
I meet his gaze. “Lily would have made me do it.”
His mouth quirks as sadness fills his gaze. I’m not the only one who misses her.
“She’d have made you wear the blindfold too.”
Fucking Andrew. Always pushing his luck.
“For her, I would have worn it. For you, not so much.”
He laughs. “One big whack for Lily, then.” He raises his voice. “Stand back, everyone!”
“Oh my god, are you actually going to use the cucumber?” Noah asks. “What is even happening?”
“Hooray for the cucumber!” Sam yells, and we all turn to look at him.
“Is he drunk?” Aidan asks Gideon, who shrugs and shakes his head.
“I’m not drunk, just high on coffee and sugar,” Sam declares. “You all brought me coffee and a cookie or chocolate bar every time you asked for something today.”
Considering how much we ask Sam for on a normal day, that’s a terrifying amount of caffeine and sugar.
“You didn’t have to eat it all,” Gideon points out reasonably, and I cringe as Sam’s face darkens.
“Let’s get started!” I shout, desperately attempting to avoid having Sam push Gideon into the pool. All eyes focus on me… and the cucumber I’m brandishing.
This is going to do wonders for my professional reputation.
Biting back a hysterical giggle, I turn toward the pinata, adjust my grip on the cucumber, draw my arm back, and swing.
Thwack!
A cheer goes up.
That was kind of fun. I haven’t done anything like this in a long time.
Thwack!
Thwack!
The damn thing hasn’t burst yet. I’m not sure if that makes me happy or not.
On the plus side, everyone else gets a turn now.
On the downside, who knows what’s going to fall on top of some poor unsuspecting innocent head when it does burst. At least I know I’m not going to sue Andrew and Alistair if I end up with confetti down the back of my shirt or in my eyes.
I hand the cucumber, which is starting to look a bit bruised, off to Alistair, who’s shouting about forming a line. Chances are that cucumber is going to be pulp by the time the pinata bursts.
As if reading my mind, Sam sidles up beside me and says, “Wanna bet on whether the cucumber lasts longer than the pinata?”
Brandt, who managed to score the first place in line, smacks the pinata enthusiastically.
“I’m in for fifty that the pinata wins.”
We watch as a succession of people beat up a papier-maché alarm clock. That thing is strong . I mean, I know a cucumber (that’s rapidly becoming mushy) isn’t the ideal tool to burst it, but still, after this many hits, there should be some weakness.
Caolan comes to stand beside me, and I automatically slide an arm around his waist. I like touching him. Maybe Andrew’s right.
On the other hand, is it wise to take advice from a man who thinks beating a pinata with a cucumber is a good idea?
Finally, finally , a tiny rip appears. Shouts of excitement ensue, and the next few people aim carefully, causing the opening to widen. I lean forward, trying to catch a glimpse of the contents, but to no avail.
One last smack, and it bursts. The contents rain onto the terrace.
“Is that…?” Sam leans forward. “Oh, fuck my life.”
I just stare.
Scattered over Andrew’s terrace, with some having fallen into the pool, individually wrapped in clear plastic sleeves, are dozens of virulently colored silicone dildos.
There’s a riot of laughter and shouts as some of the partygoers scramble to grab their favorite colors.
Alistair is expounding on the specs of the damn things, talking about length-to-girth ratio and how there were sparkly ones, but they were slimmer, and he figured it was worth sacrificing the shimmer for “a cock that will fill you just right.”
Aidan puts his hands over his face, shaking his head, but his shoulders are trembling with what I’m guessing is laughter.
Percy comes over with a neon blue dildo in his hand, still in the plastic. “I thought I should grab one for the birthday boy before they all get taken,” he says solemnly, holding it out to me. His mouth quirks, but he ruthlessly suppresses the smile.