Chapter 40
Zioh
After taking Tshabina home this morning, I told her I’d be at INDTV all day, settling matters with the team. Last night, after I’d opened up, she stayed silent, listening until I finished. Her gaze remained tender, and she even clutched my trembling hand with everything she had.
She didn’t say a word afterwards. Her expression never shifted, still calm, still soft, until I leaned against her. We slept in each other’s arms on the sofa until morning, and when I woke, she was already sitting in my room with chamomile tea on the coffee table.
For a moment, I’d expected her to dig further into what I’d revealed, or for her eyes to show pity, sadness, or awkwardness.
But no.
There was no strange look, no pity, and no sympathy. Instead, she asked me about the paintings on the walls or spoke of other things until daylight arrived, and I drove her home. Before stepping out of the car, she’d kissed my cheek and… thanked me.
She thanked me…
I revealed one of my defects, and she thanked me…
On my way back, painful sobs escaped me; my chest ached. I don’t deserve her.
We hadn’t seen each other since because she had a meeting with his team, and she only texted to say she’d gone home early. I, meanwhile, returned late to the Danudara residence, exhausted from endless work.
After nearly an hour, I stepped out of the bathroom and glanced at the clock; it was eleven o’clock.
Earlier than usual. I sighed, draped in a bathrobe, I walked to the bedside table, pulled open the drawer, and took a few pills.
One from each bottle fell on my palm, and I swallowed them in one gulp—until the sound of the door slamming behind me made me jolt.
I spun around. The air died in my throat—Dad.
“What are you taking, Zioh?!” The door slammed, its sound hanging in the air.
Dad barked as if he’d stumbled on a corpse, eyes bulging and a finger jabbing at me. He wasn’t supposed to be here. Why was he always in my room?!
My breath quickened as my eyes darted around—up, left, right—he must have planted hidden cameras again, watching my every move!
As panic surged, he stormed closer, reaching for my hand. “I asked you what you’re taking?!” Dad barked.
I glared, jerking my hand free. Stepping back, I shook my head hard and pointed at the door. “Get out, Dad.”
His breath hitched. “You lied to me?!” His knuckles turned white. “You and your brother told me you were cured!”
My throat tightened, and my body stiffened as my control slipped. “I. Said. Get. Out.”
“You little shit!” He dragged his palm across his face. His gaze turned dark. “I wouldn’t be surprised if it were you or Zeraiah, but Zaeem too?! How dare you all lie to me?!”
I clamped my hands over my ears. Too loud. Always too loud. He was always like this.
I moved for the door, but his grip seized my arm, stopping me. “Do you think I’d let you roam the UK for ten years if I’d known you weren’t cured? Do you think I’d let you take over this project?” His jaw tightened. “Shit, you even showed your face at the press conference, Zioh!”
He drew a harsh breath. “How could I pull you back after I begged and pleaded for you? After all I’ve done, how can I face them only to find out you’re still defective?! You’re still crazy! If I’d known you were still—”
“I never asked that!” I clenched my jaw, forcing myself free.
My whole body trembled, not out of fear, but with blood boiling inside me. I was sick of his words and behaviour—all I could see was hate before me. “You think I’m happy?” My fists clenched. “I’m tortured!” I screamed, my lungs burning. “I want you all to fucking leave me alone!!”
How could he face them? He wouldn’t let me take over? He begged for me?
I wanted to laugh.
Not for me, but for him. Everything he did was for himself. Always had been. All I wanted was distance from him, from his bloody company.
If he was so afraid of ruin, he should’ve been ashamed of what he kept doing and roared for himself!
Every time he was near, I felt sick to my guts!
“You never helped me, Dad,” I said with a shaking I struggled to contain. “Even in the UK, you never did anything.”
“Dad? W-what are you d-doing?” I stammered, frozen where I stood. “H-how could you do th-this to Mum?!” My voice broke as I yelled at my father. “You f-fucking arsehole—” The taste of metal flooded my mouth. Heat flared in my cheeks as my dad’s slap sent me to the floor.
I shook my head. My knees went weak. The pieces of memory that made my stomach knot up always returned so easily when I was with him. One, two, three, four— “I’m terrified I will never see my Sophie again—”
Enough.
I looked at my dad with a gaze that carried more than words ever could. “So don’t pretend you gave your life for me, when all you ever did was take mine away.” My voice cracked, silencing him, though his stare remained sharp.
“Mas… I can’t even say her name anymore…” A hot sting pooled in my eyes.
I stepped closer and lowered my gaze. “You’d better shut your mouth and go on living with your bloody slag—”
My cheek burned hot, stinging. My ears rang from the slap he landed on me. The sound cracked through the room, and for a second, the world spun.
Damn it.
A laugh broke from my throat, bitter and unbidden.
I wished this pain were the kind he gave me, but no, he gave me wounds that would never heal instead, and left me… defective. And I’d been carrying this poison feeling for so long—the wish that he was never my father.
I laughed louder until I choked, staring blurrily at him, with my burning, trembling eyes. I stopped when I caught his look—the damn look I despised. Disgust. Shame. Shock. Pity.
My eyes cut into him. “Why are you so upset about the mess you started?” I said with pain in every word, but I was the only one who could feel it, not the man in front of me, because I’d never seen anyone as emotionally dead as him.
A smile touched my lips, trembling. “You’re angry at a situation you created.” “Zioh… It’s all in your head. I didn’t do it, remember?” Pieces of memory started flashing behind my eyes. “You’re exaggerating, son.” I pointed at myself, my eyes locked with his. “You created this.”
You created me.
Your own living shame.
His eyes widened. I took a heavy breath and looked straight ahead. “You won’t leave? Fine. Then I will.” My voice dropped, and I left him there as he continued to look at me as if I were filth in his food.
When I left my room, a few of his men waited like dogs at my door. Dad followed me and gave me a sharp look before whispering to one of them.
My pulse leapt into my throat.
Because I knew.
He’d retaliate. He’d punish me. He was already plotting to torment me, again.
But this time, I wouldn’t let him. I wouldn’t let him take anything more from me.
You’re the most perfect person I’ve ever known, Zioh. I’m incredibly proud of you! Purple. 26.
With Zaeem or not. With Grandpa’s help or not. I’d bring him down this time before he could steal the only reason I still survive.