Chapter 41
Tshabina
Zioh dropped me off at home, his car stopping further down the road from my house after I asked him to. He looked rather startled at first, but he complied without protest. Somehow, I managed to sneak in unnoticed by Tsabinu.
At the office, I slumped straight into my chair and glued myself to the screen, tapping my fingers over and over against the desk.
The videos and pics I took at the press conference could’ve been way better.
There weren’t many, and now I had to produce content about Zioh’s speech before the meeting. But that was the problem.
In none of the shots was Zioh actually looking into the camera. His gaze was aligned with it, but never direct, because he only looked at me throughout the conference.
But that wasn’t the only thing spinning in my head.
I ran my hand over my face, letting out a long sigh. “Never quiet, unbearable…” I murmured, recalling Zioh’s confession.
For the first time in so long, he began to talk, and hearing all his words took every ounce of my strength not to break down.
He… was disturbed.
Something gnawed at him so deeply that he needed ways to calm himself: “Complementary therapy.” He admitted it, and he often sought it.
He trembled in front of me last night, his expression and eyes quivering, panic and fear leaking through despite how hard he tried to hide it.
I knew last night he’d poured out all his strength to tell me, to let me glimpse what he was carrying.
Only for me.
That was why I was so grateful. All through the night, while he’d slept, I pulled him into my arms, silently weeping.
Never once closing my eyes, I had stayed awake until finally slipping out of his room. Hours were then spent searching and reading everything I could find about complementary therapy. The more I read, the clearer it became—this wasn’t just therapy. It was a treatment.
Medical treatment.
It helps patients feel better physically or mentally, eases stress, and boosts energy. The words I’d read settled deep in my mind.
But why did he need it…
They spun round and round in my head, trying to fit pieces together. His struggles with emotions, his sudden mood swings, his shades of gray—sometimes dominantly white, sometimes black.
Yet I still had no answer to the real problem.
A harsh breath left me. I reached for my hair tie and twisted my hair up in one swift motion.
I kept scrolling through yesterday’s pics, staring at Zioh’s handsome face.
It wasn’t radiant anymore; the dark circles under his eyes were worsening day after day, and his wide smile was something I hardly ever saw anymore.
My chest tightened at the sight.
“Ahem.” The sound behind me made me jolt. I turned to see Andi holding two cups of coffee, eyeing me with his infuriating grin.
Ah… at last, this weirdo waved a white flag.
When I stared at him, he cleared his throat again and placed one of the cups on my desk. “Want me to help with the editing?” he sang, shrugging casually at my screen. “I’m free.”
I gave him a faint smile and returned to my work. “No need, I don’t want to bother someone who’s already got a lot on their mind.” My words cut both ways. Was I being cynical toward him or toward myself?
My jab made him snort. He pulled up the empty chair beside me, sat down, and started tapping his fingers against my desk while watching me work.
“The Danudara family seems destined always to be busy, eh?” he said, my brow raised at the odd remark. I glanced at him, confused, as he continued.
“I mean, Zaeem’s constantly flying here and there for duty, and Zioh, well… he’s always on the phone.” Andi gestured at the photo of Zioh on my screen, the one of him speaking on stage. He shrugged, “It feels like ever since his arrival, those AirPods have never left his ears.”
I studied the picture too. Yes, Zioh had AirPods on at the conference. But for me, it was nothing unusual. AirPods, earphones, headphones—he always wore them. I couldn’t remember when it started, maybe when we were teenagers.
“He listens to music with them,” I explained. “Especially when he’s drawing.”
Andi fell silent, eyeing me, before I turned back to the screen. “Really?” he muttered. “But he talks through them, Bib. He’s actually on the phone, like some lovestruck lad chatting away.” He chuckled, and his words drew me back to the moment in the hall—when Zioh pressed his AirPods and shouted.
He had been angry on the phone with someone. Could that be a bad sign?
I didn’t know. Everything about him was so murky, and it was only the beginning that cracked open for me.
Andi kept chuckling beside me, grating on my nerves. Today, of all days, my body and mind weren’t in a state to deal with his rambling and teasing.
His attempt at making peace was lame.
I sighed and shot him a look that screamed: Stop bothering me. In a second, he shut his mouth and nodded, “Okay, okay, fine, I’ll shut my mouth.” He zipped his lips with his fingers and bulged his eyes at me.
For a moment, we sat in silence. Then Aditya passed by, lugging a big bag, probably off somewhere again, especially after the conference finished.
He glanced at me, his eyes widening for a moment, then he walked on towards the lift, and I exhaled the breath I’d been holding when he disappeared from view.
Andi clicked his tongue in puzzlement, making me glance at him. I understood, though. If not for the incident in the hall yesterday, Aditya would’ve greeted me or pestered me with A, B, C, and D tasks. But after yesterday, he’d texted me this morning.
Aditya apologized, admitted his disturbing behavior, and promised to keep his distance. And he proved it now.
I was relieved, honestly, I’d wanted this for so long.
I’d even planned to talk with him and rehearsed what to say.
But now it was all settled quicker than I imagined, albeit not as I planned.
I was glad Aditya respected me enough not to pry further, and our text exchange ended with me apologizing for Zioh’s outburst.
Still, I never expected Zioh to lose control like that, especially towards Aditya, his colleague.
Andi nudged my waist with his elbow, his eyes still following Aditya. “That was Didit, right?” he whispered, wide-eyed at me.
I sighed. There was so much I wanted to tell him.
But remembering his reaction before, I restrained myself.
Besides, recalling Zioh’s words yesterday about my little friend losing control, I suspected Andi had once done something to him.
It was better not to dig. Especially these days, he seemed to be hiding something from me.
Andi squinted at me, staring so intently that it made my heartbeat speed up. “That man found a new prey, maybe?” he muttered under his breath, glaring. “Bet your sasaeng got bored with you already—”
“Andi.” My warning was low and firm when I glanced around. He couldn’t mean to start his shit on our division floor! Finally, he realized and looked around too, cleared his throat, and sat up straighter.
We lapsed into silence again. I refocused on my work, but he grew bored and soon launched into another story.
“I went to my gran’s grave yesterday, you know what?
”—dear Lord, he had endless topics—“on the way, I smelled this powerful fragrance. At first I thought, oh no, I’ve picked up a spirit shit or something. ”
I arched a brow at him. Horror stories now? Really, Andi?
He carried on, calm. “Turns out I’d walked past someone’s grave.”
I nodded, giving him a sign that I listened.
“And guess whose grave it was? Your mom’s, Bib.” He grew animated. “Holy shit, it was covered in flowers, the most colorful and lavish of the lot, and it smelled incredible. So, thanks, Bib, for spreading such fragrance.”
My lips parted. “Hm, you’re welcome?”
A laugh slipped out of me, and I shook my head. I let out a short sigh and leaned my head on his shoulder.
“Mas Bibu often visits Mom’s grave,” I murmured. So did I, especially when I needed to cry.
I was grateful and happy he was here.
Still, at the back of my mind lingered the question: what was he hiding from me these past few days? Why was he burying it now, and pretending that night never happened?
Everyone. The people close to me, the people I loved, not one of them wanted to talk and open up to me…
They never gave me the chance, when in truth, I could do anything for them if they’d trust me, even a little.
That night…
I fell asleep that night, but... I remembered something. I knew there had been something, so I kept mulling it over and trying to remember it. But all I knew was—
Sophie.
The only thing I remembered from that night was my own surname.
The name Zioh was always used for me.
? ── * ── ?
Zioh
Four Days Ago
After swallowing the pills, I took a long breath, my trembling hand gripping the kitchen island harder as my head rose to scan the surroundings.
Chair. Table. Stove. Fridge. Fruit.
A few minutes later, I finally managed to straighten my back and walked toward the cabinet. Opening the cabinet, I scanned the shelves. Tea packets—green, chamomile, lavender, peppermint—my eyes kept searching until I grabbed a few chocolate brands to bring upstairs.
When I arrived, Tshabina was gone, and only the TV remained, playing Harry Potter. Then there was a faint sound that came from my bedroom. I moved toward it, my hand wrapping around the door handle. I was about to push the door open until—
“Where the hell have you been—and wait… why are you under a blanket?” A man’s voice? I nudged the door open and peeked inside. There was someone beneath my blanket.
“Rain? Cold?” It was Tshabina’s voice, coming from under the blanket, her tone frantic.
When I was about to push the door open and approach her, a man’s voice—blaring from her phone—made me stop in my tracks.
“Well, you’ve got to hear this,” he lowered his voice, whispering with far too much intensity.
“It’s about the Bakti episode I’ve been waiting for.
You never believe me when I say Bakti has a weird fetish, right?
Then you need to watch this with me so you’ll see I’m right. ”
My grip around the chocolates tightened.
“Andi, I can’t right now,” Tshabina hissed under her breath.
Andi.
“Keep your promise!” Andi snapped. “You said there’d be a day you’d watch with me, and that day is today!”
Tshabina sighed, lowering her voice. “I can’t—”
“You have to! It’s a live stream!” he insisted, raising his voice. “They never do replays, it’s only for paying subscribers!”
“But I really can’t—”
“Why not?” A pause. “Where are you, anyway? And since when have you used a black blanket? You in Tsabinu’s room? Then call him in. Unless—”
“Okay, okay, fine!” Tshabina cut him. “Let’s do it, alright?”
I stood beside the door, as if I were a statue. But then… my heart started hammering as Andi yelled again.
“Shit, Bib! Look at the title!” His voice escalated. “Founder of INDTV Group, a Pedophile?!”
I went rigid. My fists balled up hard at my sides.
Then another voice appeared.
“Welcome back to Eric With The Hot News! So, as we’ve been discussing the past few weeks, today we’ve got another juicy scoop straight from our spy team…”
I tried to control my breathing, but it felt as if my throat was being squeezed.
Tshabina let out a long yawn, a sharp contrast to Andi, who chattered with glee and turned up the volume. “Spill it already while my noodles are still hot!”
“Listen, folks—INDTV won big against the lawsuit from the mother of that young actress rumored to have stayed at a hotel with Bakti Danudara.”
Andi chimed in again, “Now that’s because my best friend handled it with his brilliant brain.”
“But guys… My team has found something truly shocking…”
“They discovered something strange in the track record of women who’ve been seen with Bakti Danudara.”
I wanted to rush to Tshabina, to throw the source of that voice far away, but… I couldn’t move.
“After further investigation, these young women all look strikingly similar—not identical, but definitely alike.”
“Listen carefully. First, most of them are young Javanese women. Second, they all have long black hair and shades of brown eyes. Third, they all have olive skin. And here’s the oddest bit: every single one of them wore the exact same style of clothing whenever they went out with Bakti Danudara.
Traditional jarik cloth with a kemben top—like they were off to a formal event, when in reality it was just dinner… And ending up in a hotel.”
I swallowed. My knees buckled.
“And stranger still, they all share the same name. Unbelievable, isn’t it? Do you know what name that is?”
“Sophie.”
A loud ringing took over my mind.
“Mas, please—help me!” “I can’t even say her name—” I shook my head as memories rose one after another. “I can’t see her without—”
“Listen, the women our team managed to identify include: Aisyha Sophienne, Gelisha Sophiana, Sophie Aura, and many more Sophies. Ah—there’s even a Putri Sophia.”
I reached for the door with trembling hands, my vision going blurry.
“And so, we suspect Bakti’s fixation lies in this bizarre fetish: young, beautiful girls, Javanese, long black hair, olive skin, brown eyes, dressed in traditional Javanese attire, and with the same name: “Sophi—”
“WHAT THE FUCK?!”
“Andi?”
Tshabina’s voice pulled me back. I blinked, my gaze drifting toward her.
Please… no…
The sound of a laptop being slammed shut echoed.
“What is it?” Tshabina asked, alarmed. “What happened?”
Sweat poured from my forehead. Please…
Andi shot back, “You heard it?” His voice shook.
A pause. “Sorry, I fell asleep. Why? What happened?”
I exhaled, long and slow at Tshabina’s answer, the tension finally draining from my shoulders. Because how could I ever tell her the truth—that my father was obsessed with every part of her.
“You really didn’t hear anything? “Andi’s voice wavered. I forced myself to regain control, especially when Tshabina stirred, beginning to lift herself beneath the blanket.
“No, I didn’t. What is it, Andi?”
Andi sighed with a long and heavy breath. “Nothing, Bib. Just nonsense, like you always say.” His voice softened. “Go on, sleep, yeah? Shit, sorry for disturbing you this late. Won’t happen again.”
“Andi—”
The line cut off with an echoing beep, and I was already standing straight again. Rigid, I stepped back and closed the door slowly. My hands clutched the wall, and I dragged my body away from there.