Chapter 6
Sage
“I won’t lie to Her Brilliance,” Sir West said, and my heart sank.
He was going to tell the High Priestess everything and soon the most powerful woman— hell, the most powerful person in the entire fae realm would know there was something wrong with me.
That would cascade into her investigating me and learning the truth: that I was a human and didn’t belong in the fae realm.
West’s sapphire gaze locked with mine, his expression still unreadable. “But I won’t answer questions that haven’t been asked.”
“Your word,” Lord Rider growled.
“On my oath,” West replied.
With a huff, Rider jerked away from Sir West and strode to the door leading to the hall.
He raked his hands through his hair, tugging apart his topknot and making his black shoulder-length locks fall around his ruggedly handsome face.
The fur on his hands and forearms receded back under his skin and his claws sank back into his fingernails.
I didn’t understand why Sir West would help me, but I was grateful I wouldn’t have to deal with questions about my magicless mating marks.
“Her Brilliance will still expect you to make public appearances,” Quill said to me as if he could read my mind and knew I planned to spend all of my time in the Garden hiding in my suite.
Of course she would. Nothing in the last few days had been easy, and it was foolish to think something simple was finally coming my way.
It had been clear when the High Priestess had talked down to me, literally from her raised throne and figuratively with her condescension, that I was a toy, a plaything to amuse her.
A part of me was hoping she’d forget about me, but I knew that hope wasn’t realistic, not unless something more entertaining happened.
“It won’t be right away,” Rider said. “But you should be prepared to leave this suite at some point, and you’ll want to change your spirit clothes when you do.”
I tightened my grip on the blanket around my shoulders.
“One of us will always be with you,” Quill said, his arms still around me, holding me close.
West rubbed his throat and stood, his presence a reminder that he would be with me as well whether I wanted and trusted him or not.
“I don’t know if I can change my spirit clothes,” I said, fighting the urge to look at my feet and make myself smaller like I’d been taught in the human realm.
Father, I was so tired of feeling weak. But if the day before yesterday and last night had proven anything, it was that I was weak.
I’d tried last night and failed to change my spirit clothes, and I wasn’t sure if Zinnia’s theory that the magic that was affecting me from Wells’s spell or the artifact that had trapped my soul in the Garden had actually prevented me from changing my clothes or not.
Or if I couldn’t change my clothes because I was really a human and didn’t have the same abilities as a fae.
“Try changing them now?” Rider suggested.
Lord Quill released me and took a step back, giving me space, and I closed my eyes. What should I change my lacey, gauzy dress into? Just like before, I immediately thought of the dresses I was used to in the human realm with high necklines, long sleeves, and floor-length hems.
No. If I was fae, I wouldn’t know what human women wore. I couldn’t change my dress to one like that.
I tried to remember what Zinnia’s robe had looked like. The fabric had been thick and the collar so high it had brushed her jaw.
I imagined myself wearing Zinnia’s robe.
It didn’t feel like anything happened.
I peeled the blanket away from my chest just enough to confirm I still wore the same red dress.
All right. I sucked in a sharp breath and closed my eyes again.
This time I imagined my dress transforming into the robe, the gauzy fabric thickening and spreading up my neck and down my arms.
Nothing.
I imagined my dress melting away and a new robe wrapping around me.
Still nothing.
I clenched my jaw, my eyes squeezing tighter with frustration. I had to figure out how to change my clothes or everyone would know my marks had been put to sleep. I had to stop drawing attention to myself.
“Hey,” Quill murmured as his hand brushed my shoulder, making my eyes fly open.
Rider huffed, but I couldn’t tell why. Probably because I still hadn’t changed my clothes and it was supposed to be easy.
“The magic affecting her last night could still be affecting her,” Talon said, his gaze intense as if he were looking at something inside me.
Lord Rider took a step closer, his attention also locked on me. “Not everyone can control their spirit form right away.”
Even Sir West was staring at me.
I shifted back, bumping into Lord Quill. I didn’t like the way everyone was looking at me. They were going to figure out I was human and then they were going to put all the pieces together and figure out I was pretending to be Sawyer.
It would all come crashing down and—
No.
Zinnia had said that as a fae woman I could stand my ground, that what had happened with Wells and Crane wasn’t typical behavior.
I needed to stop acting like a scared human.
The more I acted like one, the faster they’d learn the truth, and I needed to hold out as long as possible to ensure Sawyer’s safety.
I squared my shoulders, prayed this would work, and thought about glaring at them but couldn’t make myself do it.
“Please stop staring,” I asked, proud I’d managed to keep my voice even and clear.
Rider’s eyes widened, and a hint of color stained his cheeks before he looked away and cleared his throat, while Talon gave a slight bow of his head in apology.
West continued to stare.
“All right,” Quill said, his voice gentle. “Why don’t we practice without the audience?”
He grabbed my shoulders and nudged me toward the fancy bedroom with the enormous bed.
We crossed the threshold into the room, and Sir West took a step forward as if he were going to follow, but Quill shot him a hard look.
The enormous knight grunted, grabbed the door handle, and shut the door instead, leaving me alone with Lord Quill.
The memory of what Quill and I had done last night flooded me and heat bled across my cheeks. I’d taken my pleasure from him without any regard for his, and then I’d cried in his arms.
I jerked my attention away from the bed, my gaze darting over the room at the opulent furnishings, uncertain where to look.
The desire from my marks wasn’t spiking, not even being so close to Talon, so I wasn’t desperate, but I also couldn’t deny how handsome Quill was and how much the kindness in his gaze made me want to believe he actually cared.
Which I suppose wasn’t fair. For all I knew he did care… as much as one stranger could care about another.
I just knew that if Lord Rider gave him an order, he’d follow it, regardless of how it hurt me.
My chest tightened. I wished Ash were with me instead. I felt safe with him. Desired. Comforted.
But the High Priestess had banned Ash from the Divine Residence because of his scars.
The thought made me furious. I didn’t know how Ash had been burned, but given how kind and caring he’d been toward me, I doubted it had been because he deserved it.
He’d said he wasn’t a very good man, but I couldn’t make myself believe that.
And while yes, Ash was also one of Lord Rider’s captains in the Black Guard, my soul assured me I could trust him, that he’d pick me over Rider.
Perhaps that was foolish.
I didn’t really know these men, and they certainly didn’t know me. If they did, I’d doubted they’d be trying to protect me.
What I really needed to learn was how to control when I manifested in the Garden. If I could keep my spirit in my body when I went to sleep, I wouldn’t have to worry about the added complications of pretending to be a fae woman.
“Let’s sit.” Lord Quill’s gaze dipped to the bed, and a hint of color stained his cheeks and the tips of his delicately pointed ears.
His blush made my face heat more, knowing that he was thinking the same thing I was, and the yearning that seeing the bed had inspired within me, burned a little hotter.
It wasn’t the crazy, demanding desire I’d experienced last night. It was more natural than that. Quill was so handsome and kind, and the blush brought out more of his boyish charm.
His gaze rose to meet mine and for a breathless moment I was trapped in his emerald orbs, surrounded by his desire, yearning, and resignation.
Ash, when I’d only known him as my Fantasy Man, had told me the fae’s goddess would never bind Quill to a woman because he didn’t have any magic, and for a moment, I could feel Quill’s heartache. I was the thing he yearned for that he could never have. So close and yet forever out of reach.
I closed my eyes, severing the connection between us.
It wasn’t me he wanted. It was a fae woman, and I just so happened to be the only one in the room. He didn’t know me. Only my brother, Sawyer, had ever known me and, if the Great Father was kind and ensured his safety, I’d never see him again.