Chapter Nineteen
With a duffel bag of fresh clothes and Grace at his side, Callum revved his truck onto the highway and left behind Granite Creek.
Tension hung heavy between them, but this was unlike the concerns bothering him earlier as he had driven to his apartment.
Before, he had questions, and, to be honest, he still had them, but now, he was fuckin’ horny.
Was there any validity to what Vivian had said? Did Grace see him as her white knight? So long as Grace didn’t regret the way they spent their time together, he didn’t care.
Actually, he did care, and if they had stayed in that bed any longer, he would’ve talked himself into stripping off his clothes and burying himself in her needy, hot body.
She would not have said no.
It was better this way. At least, that’s what he kept telling himself. Getting Grace off was the only way he knew to blow off steam without losing his mind.
In a few short hours, they would be in a safe house, all alone in the middle of nowhere, where his resolve would be tested again. Callum needed to understand exactly how Grace viewed him and their dynamic. His willpower was only so strong.
“You called me a damsel in distress,” Grace said, interrupting his thoughts. Their minds were in the same place. “Is that why you bundled me up and got us out the door before you changed your mind?”
His grip tightened on the steering wheel.
“I’m not a damsel in distress, if that’s what you’re most worried about. Don’t forget I threw myself at you.”
“You didn’t throw yourself at me. You just…” He gestured to her. “Reminded me of what was in front of me. Very directly.” He cleared his throat. “Did you and Vivian talk about…” He lifted his shoulders. “Us?”
“Absolutely not, though she asked questions about you.”
He glanced over. “Like what?”
“Like how well I knew you. What kind of person you are. That kind of stuff.”
Ding, ding, ding. There was his answer. Vivian could read body language like she read a book and had cornered Grace with questions. He and Grace had enough electricity to power a small town. No wonder Vivian thought they’d slept together.
“I asked Vivian why you left the Army.”
His molars clamped.
“I know I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry. But she said the same thing Hayden did.”
“You asked Hayden?”
“They said it’s your story to tell. I’m ready to listen when you’re ready to share.”
It was his turn to be cornered. He didn’t want to talk about it, but at a certain point, avoiding the explanation was disingenuous.
She needed more from him, and apparently, an orgasm, holding her hand, and bodyguard duty wouldn’t cut it for the long haul.
The long haul… That was what he wanted with her.
Still, he struggled to explain. “Something happened.”
“I got that,” she said quietly. “Part of me is aggravated that you won’t explain. Another part of me realizes it’s probably hard to talk about.”
He swallowed against the knot in his throat. She wasn’t wrong.
“I’m even a little embarrassed to say this,” she continued, “but I’m jealous that everyone knows that about you except for me.”
“It’s not that I’m hiding something from you.” But retelling the story triggered the mental hell all over again.
“I’m not trying to coerce you into sharing. I just thought I should tell you I asked Vivian. It wasn’t fair to you.”
He let out a long breath. “We’ll talk about it at the safe house.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. Sure. I don’t want to talk about it. It’s hard. It sucks. It’s a goddamn nightmare.”
“Callum—”
“Trust me, there’s nothing to feel jealous about. Just a story of something that happened. It won’t change who you think I am as a person. At least, I don’t think it will.”
“I don’t think you’re harboring an awful secret like you shot up a village of civilians or something.”
He grimaced inwardly. She was closer than she realized.
He had to change subjects, or the stress that was pounding at his temples would turn into a headache.
He checked his mirrors and changed lanes.
“I’ll tell you. It’s fine. But not now.” He focused on the road and thought about the seeds Vivian had planted in his head.
“Back to this whole damsel situation. Can I ask you something?”
“Would I say no to my knight in shining armor?”
He groaned. “When I asked you about who you’d dated, you said no one.”
“Yeah,” she whispered.
“But you had friends on your list. Male friends…”
“I didn’t.”
He frowned. “Didn’t what?”
“Get physical. I said I didn’t date. I didn’t…do anything in that department.”
He looked over quickly, dragged his eyes back to the road, then looked at her again. “What do you mean?”
“What do I mean? What do you think I mean? I was in a horrible marriage, and after that, I abandoned my life. Dating or hooking up with a friend or whatever else you’re thinking about didn’t come up.”
“So you didn’t—you haven’t—”
“Oh my God, Callum. You’re such a guy.”
“Yeah. I am a human, Grace. With human needs. Last time I checked, which was very recently, you had those too.”
“Human needs,” she muttered, half-embarrassed. “That’s one way to describe me ripping my clothes off.” She drew in a shaky breath and let it out slowly. “Those needs were long buried until recently. Do with that what you will.”
“No one?” he asked.
“I told you. No one.”
No one had touched Grace in years. Grace hadn’t touched anyone either. Callum wasn’t sure which he liked better. Both, he decided with every possessive fiber of his body.
But that was a problem for the damsel-in-distress concern. If she hadn’t been with anyone since her ex-husband, Vivian’s theory took on a whole lot more credence.
As for him, did he have a savior complex? Vivian thought it was an automatic part of the job that he had to manage. But she hadn’t taken into account their past. This was his second chance, and he wasn’t fucking it up.
He reached over and took Grace’s hand. He could feel her uncertainty in the stiff way she unfolded her arm.
She wasn’t making it easy, but that had been their entire existence.
He threaded his fingers through hers. “My boss brought up a legitimate concern, and as much as I don’t wanna believe it, you need to hear it. ”
“Let’s hear it then.”
“It really holds water, considering you haven’t been with anybody since your ex-husband.”
“Quit stalling and tell me.”
“Everything you’re feeling about me is because you’re in danger, and I’m the guy that can save you.” Silence ticked by long enough that he looked over, gut churning and not thrilled with how long it was taking her to refute that point. “Grace?”
She pulled her hand into her lap. “Do you want honesty?”
Fuck. “Yeah, babe. Rip off the Band-Aid just like you did your shirt.”
“Somehow the shirt was easier.”
“Woman, you are killing me right now.”
“You were the first boy who ever made my stomach flutter.”
Every part of his body tingled. He wanted to grin, but didn’t trust what she might say next.
“Then those flutters turned to much more. The older I got, God, I wanted your attention so badly. Especially in high school.”
“Eh, high school,” he admitted with a sheepish nod.
“You were so much older than me, and it was never gonna happen.”
He was a senior when she was a freshman. Even if he looked—and he wouldn’t admit if he did or not—their age difference had been too much. Now that they were adults, a couple of years didn’t matter.
“When you came back from West Point, I literally didn’t think I could want you any more.” She ducked her face into her hands, half-laughing. “I was wrong.”
Why hadn’t he opened his goddamn mouth? He probably would have screwed it up, but God, he had killed himself when it came to her during college. “I could be saying the same thing.”
“I’m still not convinced of that, because I was hopelessly, obsessively, head over heels for a man who didn’t notice I existed as a woman.”
Every part of him ached to rewrite the past. He spent years tamping down the pull he felt for her because of the unwritten bro code and his rule-following moral compass. Regret bubbled in his lungs. “Trust me. I noticed you.”
Just days ago, he’d told Grace their lives would have been different if they’d gotten together before she met Dominic. He’d said it like a cocky line, but in his gut, he knew it was true.
Everything would have been different if he had said something and crossed that stupid imaginary boundary. He had no doubt she wouldn’t have married Dominic, and he hated himself for not saying a thing. Hindsight was going to be the death of him.
But that was then. He needed to be damn sure about now and hear their connection wasn’t just a damsel waiting to be saved and bedded. “You haven’t been with anyone in years. All of a sudden, I’m here, and your rules have changed.”
She twisted her bracelet and pulled the beads until they clicked. The silence dragged on. “It’s not that they changed.”
“Then what?”
“You’re different, Callum. You always have been.”
Every doubt he had about them was officially gone. He loved this woman. Maybe he always had.