Him
Every single minute is a struggle between going insane and trying to keep my sanity to bring back whatever’s left of my baby. I’ll bring her back. No matter what.
Clicking on the computer for about eight hours continuously at a stretch, my fingers have not for once felt tired. I’m almost there. All the faces on the video, that by now I have played more than two hundred times, all of their names and details are here. Now all I need is to track them down. Good thing they were unmasked at the time of having their fun.
But every time the video played... it was like dying in a hundred different lifetimes all at once. But I had to endure it. I need to find her.
“I’ll take a break from here. I’ll be right back.” Divit nods in acknowledgement.
I haven’t been back to the society ever since I went to pick her up the night she called. Ever since her abduction, that place has been a ruin of our memories together and I never had the courage to face them alone. The initial idea was to go back together once I found her and brought her back. But then the phone call today had me change my mind.
Someone was looking for her. That’s what the lobby reception told me. And since I was still her landlord, I was supposed to answer about her absence.
As I enter the lobby of my building, I spot an elderly couple seated on the couch from across and instantly recognize them.
Disha’s parents.
Of course, they had to be here. She wasn’t calling them and her phone is dead so the panic was inevitable. A fortnight was indeed a long time especially since she was in a habit of calling either them or Mahika once or twice every two three days.
I reach out to the reception anyway, can’t let them know I recognize them and for what reason. When the receptionist signals them, they get up to reach out to me as I turn and walk towards them covering the hint of sorrow on my face with what I should actually look like if a tenant’s family approached me. Concern.
“Sir – are you the owner? I wanted to talk about my daughter. She’s been your tenant for...” Her father looks extremely worried opposed to the angry I had anticipated.
“Sir, please call me Naksh. Please don’t be worried. Let me explain the situation.” I had a rehearsed version ready in case anybody shows up. “She left in such a hurry that she couldn’t inform anyone. And because she had to give her keys back to me, that’s the only reason I know...”
The sudden buzz from my phone takes away my attention for a moment as I stare at the caller id display on it. What the hell is Anu calling me for right now?
For the first time in my life my sister yells at me through the receiver and yes, I get no greeting. Not that I deserve to be honest.
“What the hell have you done Bhai?”
“What do you mean? What have I done?”
“Don’t act like you don’t know what I am talking about.” The pause is screaming what I already have guessed. “Apeksha called. And she was asking for your number. When I tried to enquire the reason, she told me about your – your...you know what I’m talking about.”
“Don’t calculate your words. I’ll make it easy for you little sister. Disha and I are in a relationship. Yes, I’ve stalked her and I’d suggest you to come over if you want to know any more than that.” The words come out of my mouth almost instantly, without shame. Without regret.
“Can’t believe you’re not even ashamed of it...” Hurt is evident in her voice. “And where the hell is she? If she’s your girlfriend, you must know. You have any idea, how scared I was when I heard about...”
“She told you all about it?” I should have known. Apeksha, the smartass. “Look, I am not explaining anything unless we meet in person. Okay? And I don’t know what she told you about me, but I can assure you, I love her. I really do. I would not do anything to sabotage her safety... You need to trust me, Anu.”
She stays silent for a few seconds before saying. “I do.”
“Good! Then come over; I’ll explain everything.” I wanted to talk to her anyway. I can’t keep her from things like our father did. She may hate me, but I’m certain she won’t abandon her brother.
When the call cuts and I turn around to join my would-be in-laws in the lobby, a hand hardly grabs around my arm.
“Wait!” A familiar voice calls me out, “You’re not getting away easily this time!”
Apeksha’s eyes twitch in a boiling rage, matchless to her medium stature and slim build. Angry little hamster, capable of much damage.
“Isn’t it rude to call out someone when you don’t even know if they’re accountable or not?”
Despite the mean looks she’s literally bombarding me with, I know it’s all because she loves my muffin so much. And I dare not even try to hurt anybody that’s important to her. Although I could still threaten them.
“You were stalking her bad. And I know every detail of it. And now you act like you’re not the one accountable when she’s quite literally missing?” Her voice breaks at the last word. The sob she’s been fighting, escapes her mouth before she manages to catch a hold of herself looking at me with a scowl. “If you lay one finger at her, I swear to all holy things in the world I will –”
“You won’t do anything.” I speak back, “Because I already have laid more than... okay let’s not go there. I know I have fucked things up big time, but I love her. I am quite literally incapable of hurting her.”
The disgust in her eyes was expected the moment my tongue slipped.
“You’re wrong if you think I won’t inform the authorities this time. And I will testify to every detail of the harassment you put her through.”
Testing my patience right now... Bad – bad move!
“You know, it’s quite bold of you to confront me like this even when you know all the details.” I take just a few steps to build up the threat. But Apeksha is quite the opposite of my muffin. She’s fierce; admirable for a friend.
“I am bold. And you will see how good I am at it when I send you behind the bars.”
“Try me. However, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
A hand stops Apeksha from moving further, thankfully pausing her fury mildly. Mahika’s voice fills the heavy air between us, “Di please... let’s not create a scene here. Mom’s noticing us.”
Apeksha peeks behind me and the tension on her face instantly eases. Fake normalcy. Still great.
“See, my sister-in-law has a better sense of judgement than you.” My gaze averts to a frowning Mahika, “What? Now you too are angry on me?”
“I just... I want to know where my sister is.” Plea lining her scrunched forehead. “And something tells me, you could help. You did that night when you dropped her home.”
Her eyes study every one of my movements and to be honest, I am nervous with the number of judgements I am surrounded with at the moment.
“You could have taken advantage of the situation, but when she came back safely... I knew this had to do with love, and not just some sick obsession. So now tell me, are you going to help us?”
The anxiety on my face is eminent even when I try to conceal it. I turn around to find her father sitting with his head in his hands in disbelief, while her mother muffles her sobs. “But please, tell them off first. Tell them she left for training on her new job and it was so sudden she could only message them. Convince them, please. For their sake...”
Her brows furrow in confusion. “But there was no message from her?”
“There will be. Let them check and see.”
The smartass beside me narrows her eyes giving me the knowing look. She’s really annoying me with her sharp brain.
On my way to here, I had Divit drop a message from her backdated, so that it would look like they had missed it. I told him to even add a few missed calls at some odd hour so they think they would have missed that too. Good thing they don’t know her landlord is a hacker.
Mahika returns with a content look on her face. “They believed it. But how did you manage to –”
“Don’t worry about that. Now listen carefully both of you. If you really want to know everything, I’ll let you know but you’ll have to promise to not let them know.” I signal towards Mom and Dad. “I don’t want them traumatized. And if you hate triggers, don’t sign in. Just leave and wait. I’ll find her anyway...”
“What? You don’t know where she is?” Her eyes widen in horror.
“No.” I straight out deadpan. Embarrassment and guilt... so much guilt.
The moment I say it they freeze, like they’ve been paralyzed. The anguished tears in Mahika’s eyes are my fault, it’s her sister that I lost. I know because if that was my sister, I would have murdered someone. She on the other hand is silencing the sob, I don’t even know whether to cry with them or tell them that everything’s going to be alright.
Except, nothing’s actually going to be okay.
“I may have committed some unforgivable crimes, and I don’t ask for your forgiveness. But I can assure you guys, I’ll get her back. It’s not just a necessity, her safety is my duty.”
Her screams haunt my soul all the fucking time, and I find new cuts and bruises form on my skin as I shatter the glass table sitting in the center of my office. These camera feeds are just like my heart without her presence. Empty!
She’s gone.
And it’s all because of me.