Hiding Him (Hiding Him #1)

11 Hold On

‘Mr Walsh has asked me to remind those of you going on the theme park trip next week to please have your payment slips in no later than Monday. Anyone who hasn’t submitted their payment slips by then will not be going,’ Mr Powell announces to the tutor.

‘How was Center Parcs?’ Robyn asks.

‘It was…eventful,’ I say.

‘Tell her who you bumped into,’ Geri says.

‘Who?’ Robyn asks.

‘West,’ I whisper.

‘Whose actual name is Gabriel!’ Geri aggressively whispers.

‘Oh I knew that,’ Robyn adds.

‘How did you know that and I didn’t?’ Geri says.

‘It’s literally in the Year 11 yearbook babe.’ Robyn rolls her eyes.

‘Is it?’ Geri looks at me.

‘I guess so.’

I glance over Robyn’s head to see Finn in the flesh for the first time in nearly two weeks. His eyes turn first, followed by his head. He smirks, and my whole body ripples in response. It feels like someone pushes a head massager over my scalp. God I’ve missed him.

‘Sorry, you saw West at Center Parcs?!’ Robyn circles back to me.

‘Yeah, our families got chatting and we were forced into a meal together.’

‘Jesus. That must’ve been weird. Don’t your parents know about him bullying you and everything?’

Out of the corner of my eye, Geri dramatically grits her teeth and waves her fingers under her chin. She mimes a cutthroat to tell Robyn to shut up. I tilt my head towards her and she quickly plays it off in a fake yawn.

‘Did anything happen?’ Robyn asks.

‘What? What d’you mean?’ I fidget with the bottom of my hoodie.

‘Just like, did he start anything?’

‘No, no. Nothing happened.’

I catch Finn through the window, pointing to his phone.

Tue, Apr 22 - 08:55 AM

Finn: Have you got a free period now? X

Cam: I have yeah!!! Meet in photography? X

‘Are you going to tell Cam your news Rob?’ Geri asks.

‘What news?’ I ask.

Robyn widens her eyes and folds her lips inward at Geri.

‘Well, I wanted to tell you in person. Noel and I, we’re back together!’

I try so very hard to stop my face from screwing up in disgust, especially after he had the audacity to message Geri only days after dumping her.

‘Oh, wow!’ I act out happily. ‘Why—uhm—How did that come about?’

‘Long story short, I bumped into him in town.’

‘Bumped into or plotted to find?’ Geri interrupts.

‘Shut up Geri,’ Robyn ventriloquises through her teeth. ‘We got talking, went for a walk in the park and agreed to give things another go.’

‘Oh, good. I’m really happy for you Rob.’ I actually sound genuine. I check my phone for another message from Finn.

Tue, Apr 22 - 08:59 AM

Finn: Abso-bloody-lutely! Can’t wait to see you! I’ve missed you! Xxx

Cam: Can’t wait to see you too!!! It’s been too long xxx

‘Excited to see Finn, are we?’ Geri nudges at seeing me check my phone.

‘I might be.’

The bell rings.

‘Alright you lot, have a good day, and my chemistry class, don’t forget you have a mock exam this afternoon,’ Mr Powell announces, packing up his briefcase.

‘A what?!’ Robyn cries.

‘You heard me,’ he says, passing us and leaving the classroom.

It’s weird. I don’t lust over Mr Powell half as much as I used to. Don’t get me wrong, he’s still, as Geri puts it, ‘cheddar-gorgeous,’ but I don’t know. I’ve got the real thing in Finn now, and he’s making every bit of my fantasy come true.

Walking down the main corridor, Mr Walsh is coming the other way.

Please don’t stop me. Please don’t stop me. Please don’t stop me.

‘Oh, Cam!’

Bollocks.

‘Hi sir. Good Easter break?’

‘No, it was mostly spent with my family.’ He laughs.

‘I know the feeling.’

‘We need to make up some numbers for the trip next week. Could you maybe find some sixth-formers who might want to come? They’ll have to get permission from their teachers to be excused and stuff.’

‘Uhm…yeah, sure! How many are we talking?’

‘Up to five I’d say. Oh, and West will be on the trip too.’

‘What?’

‘Sorry. I know what he’s like, but he’s retaking GCSE Business and needs it as part of his coursework. Just wanted to give you the heads-up.’

‘Oh, okay. Thanks sir.’

‘No worries. See you later!’

‘See you.’

For God’s sake! I was looking forward to that trip. I make my way to photography and drop my bag in the empty classroom. I pull my phone out to see if Finn’s messaged before someone covers my eyes with their hands.

‘Guess who?’ Finn’s silky voice whispers in my ear.

I immediately pull his hands off me and launch myself into his arms. We both giggle excitedly at finally seeing each other in person.

‘I missed you so much!’ I mumble into his shoulder.

‘I missed you too!’ He squeezes me tightly.

My feet dangle off the floor as he lifts me up for a second and then plants me back down. I look behind him down the corridor, then turn behind me to check the classroom is indeed empty. I peer through the glass wall into the technology room to check there’s definitely no one peering in.

‘Can I kiss you?’ I ask with glistening eyes.

‘I thought you’d never ask.’

He scoops around my lower back and pulls me into him. My hands cup his cheeks as I smoosh our lips together repeatedly. I jokingly peck all over his face to show how much I lo—how much I like him. We stare at each other intently.

‘Please never let me go on holiday with my family again,’ I say.

‘Deal.’

We circle the tables and drag out a couple of chairs. I pull out some books to at least look like I’m doing work.

‘Tell me about Manchester!’ I say.

‘It was actually pretty awesome. It was the first time we’d been up to my grandparents without Dad, and it was so nice. Nan’s not doing amazing, but with me and Mum there, Grandad got a bit of a break, and she remembered us, which was nice. Although, she did call me by my dad’s name once, which was pretty horrific.’

‘Eurgh. Do you look anything like him?’

‘Well, he’s bald and has brown teeth from smoking. So, I didn’t exactly take it as a compliment.’ He laughs.

‘I’m glad it was a good time for the most part though.’

‘Yeah. Anyway, tell me more about Center Parcs!’ Finn bobs in his seat.

‘Oh! I completely forgot. Guess who I saw?!’

‘Who?’

‘Emily!’

He ponders. ‘Emily…’

‘From the ice rink in London!’

‘No way! How weird!’

‘Yeah, she works there in the summer. She was an instructor on the High Ropes. We got chatting and met up for a coffee on my last day.’

‘That’s amazing! I bet she’s lovely.’

‘She really is. I told her all about you, of course. And about—’ I stop myself.

‘About?’ he prods me to continue.

‘Just about the family getting on my last nerve. She also told me about her girlfriend…and asked if we maybe wanted to go on a double date with them sometime?’

‘I would bloody love that!’

I gaze into his big blues and bite my bottom lip in excitement. ‘God I missed you.’

He smiles at my sincerity and slides his hand over my thigh underneath the table. It sends a shockwave through my body that I’ve never felt before. He smirks at my fluster. I take his hand in both of mine and massage the back of it. In tugging on his wrist, I encourage him to lean into me. My eyes are about to close and lean in when…

‘Cam?’ West says, stepping through the doorway.

I throw Finn’s hand back into his lap and hear his knuckles bang on the metal bar underneath the table.

‘Yeah?’ I ask.

‘Oh, sorry,’ West says, seeing Finn.

‘It’s cool. What’s up?’ Finn asks, rubbing the back of his hand.

I haven’t told him West tried to kiss me. Or anyone, for that matter. I think some things are better best forgotten. This should be one of them. I was hoping the exchange would be enough to keep West away from me, but that’s not exactly working out for me right now.

‘I was just hoping to talk to Cam?’ West is coy, almost Gabriel-like.

Finn looks at me and I’m careful not to let him hear my internal shrieks.

‘What’s it about?’ I ask.

‘Um…’ He looks at Finn.

‘It’s cool. I’ve got some stuff to do in the darkroom anyway,’ Finn announces.

He stands and hoists his bag from the floor. As he towers over me, he mouths, ‘Are you okay?’

I nod in reply.

‘Call me if you need me,’ he whispers.

Finn passes West and they both raise their eyebrows at one another. West watches Finn close the darkroom door behind him. The red light outside turns on.

‘What do you want West?’ I cross my arms.

Why did he have to come in now? Two weeks I’ve been waiting for this hour, and precious minutes are being used up by this dickhead.

‘I wanted to talk to you. About last week.’

‘Okay. Talk.’

‘Why are you being so short with me?’

‘Oh, I don’t know. Maybe it’s because you bullied me for four years…’ I lower my voice. ‘And then tried to fucking kiss me!’

‘Shut up,’ he hushes, stepping towards me.

I slide my chair backwards, giving myself enough room to escape if I have to. He notices me analysing his body language and backs away.

‘What do you want?’ I ask, wishing for this to be over.

He looks behind himself. ‘Have you told anyone?’

‘Of course I haven’t bloody told anyone.’

‘Okay.’ He pauses. ‘But that’s not what I wanted to speak to you about.’

‘It’s not?’

His body language changes. He takes a deep breath, pulls out a chair and slumps into it. He rubs his hands over his face and stretches his cheeks downward. From his dropping hands, Gabriel appears. He’s scared. Lost even.

‘D’you know what? Never mind.’ He shakes his head and stands.

‘Gabe, what is it?’

‘Don’t call me that!’ he spits loudly.

I hurry out of my chair and prepare to run out through the fire exit. The darkroom door swings open. Finn jogs into the room.

‘What’s going on?’ Finn asks.

He looks at West. Then at me.

‘I think you should leave,’ Finn says.

West looks at Finn, then at the chair between him and me. His face sinks slightly. He grabs his chin with one hand and runs a finger back and forth over his bottom lip.

‘Whatever,’ he says.

West kicks his chair under the table and paces out.

Finn looks over to me, then down the corridor to watch West leave. At the disappearance of West round the corner, he circles the tables and wraps his arms around me.

‘Are you okay? Did he hurt you?’ He pushes me back by my shoulders and checks me over. ‘Your nose is bleeding.’

‘I’m fine. I’m fine,’ I try to calm him as I scan the room for a tissue.

Finn shuffles past me and leans over the tables to pluck a couple of tissues from Miss Owen’s desk.

‘Thank you,’ I say.

‘What happened? Here, sit down.’

‘Nothing. He just…He happened to be in Center Parcs last week with his family.’

‘He was?’

‘Yeah. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything. I just didn’t want you to worry.’

‘It’s okay. What happened?’

‘Our parents were friends for a long time when we were kids…They reconnected and it kind of forced us two into the same space.’

‘What did he do? ’Cause if he so much as laid a finger on you, I swear to God—’

‘No, no. He didn’t, really. But, I did kind of lay into him one night. Like, pulled him up on everything he’s done. How he treated me, made me feel, all of it.’

‘Wow. And what did he say to that?’ Finn asks.

‘Well, he tried to—’

‘Tried to what?’ Finn’s voice deepens.

‘He tried to apologise. But I don’t think he actually meant it.’

Finn exhales. I think if I’d told him the whole truth, he’d march down that hall and give West what for. And as much as I’d love to see Finn hand West his arse…nothing actually happened. I’d rather just forget the whole Center Parcs trip. It’s easier for everyone that way.

‘You sure you’re okay?’ he asks, pulling my hand back from my nose to check if it’s still bleeding.

‘I promise I’m fine.’

***

Mr Walsh stands at the front of the coach and taps the microphone to gather everyone’s attention.

‘Right. I’d like to remind you all that these trips are a privilege and not a right. I am not afraid to keep you in the café with Mrs Barkley and I should we have any reports of you lot misbehaving. And I can promise you, we will only be talking about boring teacher things, such as Love Island, what we bought in the Next sale and the recent changes to the photocopying policy,’ Mr Walsh announces. ‘Year 11s, you’ll need to go round in groups of three or more. Sixth-formers, do what you want.’

Robyn pops up from the seat in front to face Geri and I.

‘Where to first?’ Robyn asks.

Finn, in turn, pops himself around to join in the conversation.

‘I’m thinking we start at the back of the park and then go forward from there,’ Geri says.

‘Sounds good to me,’ I say.

‘Me too,’ Finn agrees.

Finn smiles at me and winks. Having only had the odd finger touch through the gap in the coach seats, it’s nice to see his whole face again. As much as I would’ve loved to sit next to him, we didn’t want to raise suspicion.

‘Have a good day,’ Noel interjects.

‘You too!’ Robyn says, grinning from ear to ear.

Noel leans down to plant a kiss right on Robyn’s lips. Finn leans back, and I have to turn towards Geri to stop his comedic expression from making me bust out laughing. Geri stares with a tought mouth.

‘Have a good day guys,’ Noel says, emerging from Robyn’s giddy face.

As Noel backs away, he rests his stare on Geri. She grins like a deranged Wednesday Addams about to decapitate her own brother. He holds his glance for a second too long, enough for Finn and I to pass a ‘what’s up with him’ look between us.

He spots us looking, clears his throat and playfully winks at Robyn. West walks down the coach and pats Noel’s back for them to get off. I watch Finn give West evils as he passes. West catches the affront and turns back briefly to meet my glance. I quickly ask Geri a question to avoid engaging him.

‘Bloody prick,’ Finn whispers to himself.

‘Who? Noel?’ Robyn accuses.

‘No, no.’ Finn turns to check West and Noel are far enough down the coach not to hear. ‘Just West.’

‘Oh, I get that. He’s not that bad when you get him by himself,’ Robyn says to Finn.

‘I’m sorry?’ I lean forward and raise my eyebrow.

‘I mean…he’s certainly less of a prick when you get him by himself, but a prick, nonetheless,’ Robyn says, thinking she’s just saved herself.

‘Hmm…’ I narrow my eyes, half-joking, half-serious.

***

‘You have got to be kidding me,’ Finn says, letting his mouth hang open.

‘You’ll be fine!’ Geri exclaims.

Above us looms a vertical drop roller coaster. The cars dangle over the side and pause before they’re released, plunging face-first into a steaming black hole in the ground.

‘No. Absolutely not.’ He shakes his head.

‘Oh, come on, it’ll be fun!’ I shout over the plummeting screams.

‘There is nothing you can say that will get me on that.’

I take the crook of his arm in my hand and pull him down to whisper in his ear.

‘If you do it, I’ll do that thing we spoke about the other night.’

He springs upright and his eyes widen. He looks at me. I nod in confirmation with a raised eyebrow.

‘Okay, let’s do this!’ he shouts, taking off towards the entrance.

‘What did you say to him?’ Robyn asks, pulling on my arm.

‘I told him I’d play Catan.’

‘Catan?’

‘I don’t know. He’s been going on about it for weeks. Some board game.’

‘Quickly, before I change my mind!’ Finn shouts.

Geri’s theme park strategy is paying off, as we only wait ten minutes. Finn tries to back out before the restraints come down, but I sensually mouth ‘Catan’ to him. He sits right back down and locks himself in.

‘Can you please make sure I’m definitely in tight enough?!’ Finn exclaims to the attendant checking our restraints.

‘Oh, you’re in alright,’ the attendant says.

Finn looks over to me, he’s as white as a sheet.

‘I can’t believe I’m doing this. I can’t believe I’m doing this. I can’t believe I’m doing this,’he mutters to himself before the car pulls out of the station. ‘Oh my fucking God! I can’t believe I’m doing this!’ he screams at the top of his lungs.

‘Finn! Shh, there’s kids behind us!’ Geri leans over to say.

‘Well, they’re about to get a lesson in every swearword in the known English language,’ Finn shouts in a voice fit for a Muppet.

The car latches onto the lift hill and the anti-rollback system clunks into action. The long and deep ticking up the lift forces Finn to close his eyes and try to hide in the headrest of the seat. Geri and I lean forward to look at each other and laugh at his trepidation.

‘How are you guys so calm about this?!’ Finn screams from behind closed eyes.

‘We come here every year for Geri’s birthday,’ I laugh.

‘Oh, fuck me!’ Finn accidentally opens his eyes at the top of the lift.

Our car rolls off the chain and slowly circles the top in a slow rumble.

‘Cam?!’ he shouts.

‘Yes?’

Finn hesitates to remove his white knuckles from the handlebars. He throws one hand into the air and holds it open for me to take. I glance back at his closed eyes to see if I’m reading the cue correctly. We are in public, after all, and there’s every chance someone from school could see.

‘Finn?’ I try to double-check.

‘Cameron you better hold my fucking hand, or I swear to God!’ he loudly rallies off.

I don’t think anymore and take his hand in mine. I squeeze it tightly, trying my best to reassure him. I can’t tell if it’s the drop approaching or the physical touch with him that’s quickening my heart rate. Whichever rush it is, I never want it to end. He opens one eye to peek at me.

‘Is it happening?!’

‘Here we go!’ I scream.

The car locks on to the hanging system and the girls and I all whoop at seeing the drop come into view.

‘Son of a biiiiii—’ Finn screams down the drop.

As the car comes to a shuffled stop in the brake run, Finn’s hair is wind-swept and frazzled. He slowly releases my hand. I so wish I could hold it all day.

‘So?’ I ask. ‘What did you think?’

‘Never. Ever. Again,’ he replies bluntly.

Geri, Robyn and I all burst out laughing.

‘You sure you don’t want to go again?’ Geri asks playfully.

‘Geri. Don’t make me hate you,’ he says.

***

Getting in line for the log flume, we clearly didn’t notice West and Noel were a few people ahead of us. After a couple of awkward looks back and forth between our group and theirs, they chose to step to one side and let the people between us go ahead of them.

‘Hey you,’ Noel says, putting his arm around Robyn.

‘Hi,’ West says.

I’m careful to hold a typical acknowledging smile, but engage no further. Finn pulls an equal expression.

‘Have you been on the haunted house ride yet?’ Noel asks us.

He balances himself against Robyn, checking behind him every now and then to see if the line’s moved.

‘No, not yet. Is it scary?’ Finn asks.

‘It’s fine,’ Geri says to Finn.

‘That’s what you said about the last one,’ Finn replies.

‘Don’t like the scary ones then?’ West interjects in his Westiest West voice.

Finn rolls his eyes. I lock eyes with West and scour to get him to shut up. An awkward silence hangs over the group.

‘D’you wanna ride with us?’ Noel asks.

‘I think it’s five to a boat,’ Geri says.

‘Okay, well uh…you girls come with us, and Cam and Finn can go together,’ Noel says.

The excitement of Finn and I having a moment alone warms my soul.

‘Wouldn’t it make sense to go three and three?’ Robyn says. ‘Geri could go with the boys.’

‘No!’ Noel and I accidentally blurt out at the same time.

Noel and I both look at each other confusingly, considering the other person’s motives in the synchronisation.

‘I just mean, it’d be fun to get the four of us in a photo together,’ Noel lies.

‘Well, why doesn’t West go with Cam and Finn?’ Robyn tries.

‘No!’ Geri, Finn and I all blurt out at the same time.

‘I’ll come with you guys. You’re right, Noel. It’d be good to get a picture of the four of us,’ Geri says.

As West, Noel and Robyn move ahead, Geri leans back and whispers, ‘You owe me.’ Finn and I both nod in unison grateful for her sacrifice.

‘Two?’ the attendant asks.

We both nod and she gestures towards the next available boat moving along the conveyor belt. Taking my seat, I look ahead to see the others dip off the end of the station, into the water and down the flume.

‘Um, what are you doing? You need to protect me,’ Finn says behind me.

I look around to see I’ve left ample space between us. He coaxes me with his fingers, inviting me to slide back and sit against him. I smile at his brazenness and comply, sliding my bottom back and resting against his chest.

‘You do realise you just mopped the wet seat with your bum?’ he laughs.

‘I do now.’

I look up at his cheek-boned grin. He leans out slightly to get a better look at me as our boat approaches the start of the flume. I, in turn, focus on each part of his face individually, mentally capturing his creased dimples, his shiny blue eyes, and his five o’clock shadow appearing dark and rough this close up. I watch him glance down at my lips before he sits back out of sight.

It’s only then I feel his arms lock around me like an automated restraint system. They tighten, squeezing the air out of my lungs and leaving me breathless. His chin lands on the tip of my shoulder and he buries his head into mine.

‘You’re the best, you know that?’ he whispers.

My heart slows to a stop. I grasp his hands keeping me locked in place, just to check this is actually happening. The ‘L’ word pops into my head. Could I? Should I?

‘Finn?’ I ask.

He silently nods in reply. I shift my shoulders to one side, gently forcing his chin off my shoulder and allowing us space to look at one another.

‘I just wanted to say—’

I haven’t realised our boat is leaving the station. The boat drops off the conveyor and slaps into the running water. I fall forward before Finn’s wrapped arms pull me back. Before I even have a second to recover from the lurch, a large slop of water slaps me across the face. My eyes close at the dissatisfaction of the splash. Finn immediately throws his head back in a loud cackle.

‘I can’t believe that just happened!’ Finn tries to muster between gasps for air.

His head falls to one side as he wipes tears from his cheeks. He takes a couple of deep breaths to try to calm himself. ‘The timing of that!’ He replays the moment in his mind and starts laughing just as hard again.

‘Shut up!’ I playfully shout, squeezing his leg with my fingertips.

He brings himself back from laughing just as the boat comes to the first lift hill. As the angle forces me to lean back against him, I turn my head to present my lips. He gets the hint immediately, smiles and bends his head in to meet me for the kiss. With his lips pressing against mine, I feel his mouth inflate and air escape his nostrils in puffs of laughter.

‘Seriously?’ I pull out to laugh.

‘I’m sorry. I won’t laugh anymore, I promise.’

We go back in to resume the kiss before he stutters through his nose again.

‘I’m sorry, it’s just—’ He bursts again and his eyes water. ‘The look on your face…’ He’s increasing in pitch with every word. ‘I’m sorry.’ He gains composure just as we slide down the first small drop.

He ducks his head behind my shoulder as the splash sends a pattered spray over the two of us.

‘Was that the photo?’ he asks, emerging from behind my shoulder.

‘No, that’s on the big drop.’

‘There’s a big drop?’ He stops.

‘Ah-ha! Who’s Mr Funny Man now, eh?’

Ahead, an animatronic is spraying a stream of water directly at head height. In it quickly approaching, I throw my head between my knees. Finn loudly splutters water from his mouth.

‘Oh, thanks very much!’ he cries.

I turn to see his face and hair completely drenched. Droplets are still gushing out of his hair and several drops run down his face. I burst out laughing at him, just as he did to me.

‘You know, it’s a good thing I love you,’ he says.

Air gone. Laugh stopped. Heartbeat missing in action.

Did he just say that? Did he mean to say that? Should I say it back? Am I thinking about this too much? Am I thinking about thinking about this too much?

‘Did…did you mean to say that?’

‘I love you Cam,’ he affirms with his dimples.

‘I love you too.’

His lips flatten and flow into a smile. I turn my body further and pull his collar in for a kiss. The wetness of his hair punches through the moment as droplets run into my eyebrows and down my face. Our boat suddenly bumps against the side of the trough. His elbow quickly acts as a seatbelt and rocks me back into him. He laughs for a short moment before pushing our lips together again. His tongue gently dips between my teeth to meet mine and delivers more emotion in this kiss than any other prior. I had no idea kissing him could get even better than it was before.

Throughout the rest of the ride, I bend my head back to ask for top-up kisses. When I’m facing away from him, I giddy myself in thankful prayers to the universe for this boy I’ve landed in the lap of…literally. We approach the big drop.

‘Smile for the camera!’ I shout back at him.

‘Screw that!’ he shouts.

Finn nuzzles his head into my shoulder and realigns his arms around my waist to ensure he’s as protected as possible. I throw my hands in the air and ride the drop with glee before I scrunch myself into a ball just as we hit the water. A splash of large drops smacks against our backs, we both emerge soaked and laughing.

Stepping off the boat, I hold my hand back to help Finn. Laughing between ourselves, I see West having bought a photo ahead in the gift shop. He shoves it into his backpack and walks out. Approaching the wall of screens to check our photo, I only see Geri left.

‘Ha! Look at you two!’ Geri exclaims at the picture of Finn and I on the screen.

The flash has almost washed me out entirely, but you can just about make out Finn’s scrunched-up face growing out of my shoulder.

‘How much is a photo?’ I ask the cashier.

‘One for twenty pounds or two for thirty,’ they reply.

‘Daylight robbery!’

‘We’ll take two please,’ Finn interrupts, pulling out his wallet.

‘Are you sure? It’s a lot of money,’ I protest.

‘Positive,’ he says, handing over his debit card.

He lowers his mouth to my ear. ‘I never want to forget the moment I first told you I loved you.’

With the last word entering my ear, goosebumps ripple down my body and my hand instinctively reaches out to squeeze his. I make no effort to hide my blush.

Finn steps up to the counter to complete the transaction. I catch Geri full-on staring.

‘What did he say?’ she quietly sings to me.

I take her by the arm and walk her a few steps further away from Finn.

‘He said he never wanted to forget the first time he told me he loved me,’ I whisper.

‘Oh my God!’ Geri excitedly yells.

‘Shush!’ I flap my hands at her.

We both look around to catch Finn staring at us. He knows exactly what I’ve just told her. He smiles and playfully rolls his eyes.

‘Where are the others?’ I look over her head for West, Noel and Robyn.

‘They’ve gone ahead. So sorry, I’m your third wheel now.’

‘You will never be a third wheel.’

***

As the three of us approach the coach, we see Robyn, West and Noel eagerly awaiting the doors to open.

‘Is it okay if we hold back? I don’t really want to hang around West whilst we wait,’ I ask Finn and Geri.

‘Of course,’ Geri replies.

We take a seat on a nearby bench.

Robyn looks impatient with her arms crossed, and West and Noel seemingly leave her out of their conversation. She pans around, looking for other people to arrive. She spots us across the car park sitting on a bench. She passes pleasantries to the boys, which they fail to acknowledge. Her head sinks in subtle disappointment as she makes her way over to us.

‘Hey. Did you have a good time?’ she asks.

‘Yes thanks!’ I reply. ‘Is everything alright?’

She looks back at the boys.

‘Yeah, fine.’

‘You sure?’ Geri asks intently before eyeing up the boys behind Robyn.

‘Yeah.’

I connect with Geri and telepathically ask her to give us a moment by tugging my head to one side. She nods in understanding.

‘Come on Finn, let’s get a drink for the coach.’ Geri stands and takes Finn off the bench with one arm.

‘Oh, okay,’ Finn says as he’s escorted away.

He looks back at me and I mouth, ‘One sec.’

In space freeing up on the bench, Robyn sits down. She relaxes her arms and fiddles with the tails of her cardigan. She avoids my eyes and stares into the gravel.

‘Come on Rob, what’s up?’

‘Nothing, I’m fine.’

‘I’ve known you long enough to know there is no such thing as fine. Did something happen?’

‘No.’

‘But there is something?’

‘I guess.’ Her eyes roll to the other side.

I hold the pause in silence, not wanting to force her.

‘It’s just—’ she starts, then hesitates.

‘Yes?’

‘Does Noel even like me?’ she asks, and my heart skips a beat at her directness.

‘Um…why do you ask?’

‘That’s what I thought,’ she assures herself.

‘I didn’t say no.’

‘Don’t play me Cam. I’ve seen it on your face every time I mention his name. Today, I think I saw it for myself.’

‘What do you mean?’ I scoot up and place my hand on her back.

‘For someone who’s supposed to be my boyfriend, he barely looked at me all day. He was more interested in quoting some random cartoon with West. Every time we went on a ride, I was sat by myself. It’s like they were purposely leaving me out or something.’

‘Wait, didn’t they ask you to join them after the log flume?’ I ask.

‘Technically, they asked Geri and me. But having thought about it, when Geri said she wanted to stay with you guys, they maybe didn’t want me to still take them up on the offer.’

‘Wait. They asked you and Geri to ditch me and Finn?’

‘Well, yeah.’

‘Right.’ My eyes sag.

I look over to Noel and West stepping aside from the lower years now encircling them. West throws his head elsewhere when he sees me looking their way.

‘Did West ask you to join them?’

‘No, Noel did. Which is why I thought he might still want me to come, even if Geri didn’t. Ya know, seeing as I’m his girlfriend.’

A light bulb. The looks, the messages, the kiss at the start of term, asking her to join them, this isn’t about me; it’s about Geri.

‘I just…I don’t get it. I’ve liked him for so long, and now when I think he’s finally started to like me back…Maybe I’ve been making the whole thing up. I’m clearly not skinny enough for him.’ She wipes a tear from her cheek and tries her best to control the quiver in her voice.

‘Hey! Don’t you dare talk about my best friend like that,’ I snap.

‘I thought Geri was your best friend?’

‘I’m allowed more than one best friend you know.’ I pause and watch a glimmer of a smile appear. ‘I promise, it’s not about you Rob, and it is all about him. You are a wonderful person, beautiful inside and out, and if he can’t see that…Well, if he can’t see that, he’s a bigger twat than I knew him to be.’

‘I know you’re trying to cheer me up Cam, but I’m pretty sure it’s because of me. Maybe I was too clingy, or maybe I just messed it up.’

I take a deep breath and throw my pupils back in desperation. ‘Rob, I need to tell you something.’

‘What?’ she muddles through sniffs of her running nose.

‘I think Noel likes Geri.’

‘What?’

Her face screws and she quickly shakes her head at the idea.

‘He hasn’t, like, said anything, but literally days after he dumped you, he was trying to message Geri.’

‘He did?’ She tries to take it in.

‘Yeah. And’—I look over my shoulder—‘before you two, like, got together, he kinda tried it on with Geri.’

‘What do you mean?’ she asks as her sadness morphs.

I remove my hand from her back and slide myself away slightly. I worry my next few words will determine whether I help or hinder her.

‘They just like…’

‘They slept together?!’ Robyn punches a stare through her eyebrows.

‘No, no! They just kissed,’ I panic.

‘That’s worse!’ She launches herself off the bench.

‘I’m not sure it is,’ I say to myself.

She paces a few steps, crossing her arms and digging her nails into her skin. ‘How do you know this?’ She stops at my feet.

‘Well… Geri told me.’

‘When?’ she asks through a small gap in her lips. Her eyebrows dip and her nostrils flare.

I’ve cocked this up. I don’t know what to say.

‘Cameron!’ she shouts.

‘When it happened,’ I say.

‘And you didn’t think to tell me?’

‘I wanted to, but—’

I try to reformulate my words, but I’m at a loss.

‘What’s going on?’ Geri interrupts, holding a bottle of Ribena.

Finn hesitantly stands next to her with a bottle of Lucozade in each hand.

‘When were you going to tell me you and Noel kissed?’

‘Um, what?’ she panics.

Finn looks straight at me, and I look at him with startled eyes.

‘Or that he messaged you after he dumped me?!’ Robyn continues.

I’ve never seen Geri disarmed before. But she’s got nothing. She gulps a couple of times. Her jaw twitches and tenses on either side.

‘Why, of all people, did you not tell me? And better yet, why did you tell Cam and not me? Hey?! Why?!’ Robyn steps up to Geri.

‘I’m sorry. I didn’t want to upset you for no reason,’ Geri tries to find her footing.

‘Well, look where that’s got us.’

‘What do you mean?’ Geri asks.

‘My boyfriend doesn’t want me. He wants you!’ Robyn pokes Geri in the chest.

‘I don’t think he does,’ she replies.

‘Oh no, it makes perfect sense now. And I would’ve got here a lot quicker if you two hadn’t kept all this shit from me!’ She turns towards me. ‘Best friend my arse,’ she spits, taking off towards the coach.

Geri holds her stance, watching her walk away and collecting her thoughts.

‘What the hell Cam?!’ She holds her arms open at me.

‘I’m sorry. She was freaking out and I was trying to calm her down.’

‘Why in God’s name would you tell her about the kiss? I knew this would happen.’ She begins to follow Robyn.

‘Geri,’ I try.

‘No!’ She spins back around. ‘You’ve thrown me under the bus here Cam. Now I’ve got to fix this.’ She storms towards the coach.

I look up to Finn through blurry, watered vision. He places the bottles on the bench and sits down next to me. He checks behind us, then pulls me into him with two arms on my shoulder.

‘I’ve really messed up,’ I say into his neck.

‘Hey now,’ he replies, clenching my shoulder a bit tighter. ‘What exactly have you done wrong?’

‘Well, I can’t have done something right. They’ve never spoken to me like that.’

He slides his hands around either side of my torso to leave one hand on my chest and the other on my upper back. With his hands, he rocks me back and gently pushes me off of him and into the back of the bench.

‘Take a deep breath,’ he instructs.

I comply, struggling to control my chin as it wobbles in the exhale while looking at Geri and Robyn arguing in the distance.

‘And again.’

I take another deep breath. My chin wobbles slightly less this time.

‘And again.’

That one wasn’t so bad.

‘Look at me.’

I do.

‘I’m struggling to see what you’ve done wrong here. From what I gather, you’ve told Robyn the truth. Am I wrong?’ Finn says.

I shake my head and buckle my lips.

‘Right. So, calm down. Take another deep breath. Everything will be fine.’

Wow. How did he do that?

‘Here.’ He hands me a tissue from his pocket.

‘What’s this for?’

He taps his nostrils, instructing me to check mine. I touch the tissue to my nose and instantly realise the drip.

‘Oh. Thanks,’ I say, taking my well-rehearsed ‘bridge pinch’ hand formation.

‘Don’t worry about it. I’ve actually got into the habit of keeping tissues on me at all times now.’

‘You have?’ My heart swells.

‘Well, when you love someone, you look out for them.’ He coolly smiles.

I grin behind my tissue and fold my bottom lip into my teeth to stop myself from squealing.

‘Come on,’ he says, taking my lower back in one hand and picking up the two bottles with the other.

As we walk over to the coach, Robyn breaks away from Geri.

‘Noel!’ Robyn shouts.

‘Oh dear,’ Finn says.

I trace his view and see Robyn marching up to Noel and West. Finn and I stop far enough away to not become a part of the action, but still close enough to hear. A couple of Year 11s have stopped near us to see what’s going on.

‘Give us a minute,’ Robyn instructs West.

‘Okay,’ he replies.

He pulls his shoulders back and heads to the coach. Robyn starts talking to Noel but lowers her voice to the point we can’t hear. I push my hip into Finn’s to suggest getting on the coach.

‘Don’t lie to me!’ Robyn screams.

Noel retracts into his heels. He mumbles something to her and she storms off to the coach. However, after two steps, she stops herself. She turns back, pulls back her arm and releases it like an elastic band to slap him clean across the face. The cracking of her palm hitting his cheek forces an ‘Oough!’ from all the lower years in unison.

‘And in case you haven’t gathered, we’re done!’ she shouts.

Finn and I look at each other in disbelief. Noel’s face turns pink. Either from the slap or from the embarrassment. He looks over at Finn and I and shakes his head free of any vulnerability. He licks his bottom lip and laughs to himself. I push my hip into Finn’s again and we walk to the coach.

The lower years silently part like the Red Sea to let Robyn through. Their wide eyes and smirks at one another don’t distract Robyn for one step.

‘Um, Robyn?’ Mr Walsh says, holding his hand out in front of the door to stop her.

She leans in and whispers in his ear.

‘Fair enough,’ he says, removing his hand to let her board unscolded.

Stepping aboard, I peer down the coach. Geri and Robyn have sat themselves at either end of the back row. Three girls from Year 11 have sat themselves in between them. All of them have headphones in and are swapping their phones back and forth.

‘Let’s go here.’ Finn gestures to the free seats next to me.

I look back once more to see if either of the girls looks my way. They don’t. I take off my bag to slide it onto the floor. Finn sits down next to me and leans in.

‘Everything will be fine. I promise.’

I smile back at him and nod. West and Noel walk down the aisle. West looks at us leaning into one another. Finn straightens his posture and demeanour simultaneously to avoid suspicion.

They pass, and Finn looks at me whilst biting his lip, reading my deflated expression.

‘Sorry,’ he whispers.

‘It’s okay.’

‘Still… I am sorry.’

Without his usual 360 check before any form of intimacy, he slides his hand over my lap and takes my hand from between my knees. He slides our hands under the armrest between us and tightens his fingers around mine.

‘Are you sure?’ I ask.

‘Positive.’ He dimples.

Throughout the journey, we take small breaks from our handhold. Frankly, to let our palms air out from the sweat. But after we’ve shared a song or two through one headphone each, or he’s cheered me up again after I start thinking about the whole Geri and Robyn situation, our fingers wander down under the armrest and find each other again. At one point, I run my thumb backward and gently smooth it over the mechanics of his wrist. In resting there, the gentle bumping of his heartbeat is enough to make the whole world disappear. My concentration on each beat quietly thudding against my thumb makes the more than ninety-minute journey feel like it’s ten.

Before long, we’re back in the school car park. I stretch my arms into the low ceiling and turn sideways to pull my back from its tension. It’s then that I notice West and Noel gathering their things in the seat behind us. My eyes widen and I slump myself back down in the chair like a sack of potatoes.

‘What?’ Finn asks.

I point over my shoulder and into the seat’s back. He turns his head just enough to see them. He catches eyes with one of them and passes an acknowledging eyebrow raise. He then looks down at me without changing his expression. We hold our stare for a moment as I curse to myself.