Chapter 24
Twenty-Four
Teddy
Just because the worst imaginable thing happens to you, it doesn’t mean that the trip magically stops. An LSD trip can last as long as twelve hours in most cases, and mine did.
Liam was shirtless as usual. When my eyes zeroed in on the gunshot wound, panic lit up every nerve ending in my brain.
My drug-addled mind grasped for reality.
I thought it’s a hallucination. It’s not real.
It can’t be. But even now, it’s all I can see.
The dark crimson blood. The gaping wound.
His fingers as he clutched at it trying to make the bleeding stop.
And then he was gone. His eyes flitted behind his eyelids as his dead weight crushed me into the hard floor, and all I could do was scream. My brain couldn’t process any of the shit that happened last night, and it still blends and morphs together. Almost as if it was a nightmare.
The consistent beeping from the machine reminds me that it did happen, as does Liam’s sleeping form on the hospital bed.
I haven’t slept. My eyes burn and blur, unable to focus anymore.
After he was… shot, I think my face was frozen in shock—unable to blink or move.
I force my eyelids closed but peel them back up quickly.
Can’t let myself fall asleep. I need to be awake whenever he comes to. My mind won’t be at ease until then.
Ms. Janet sits on the chair at his bedside.
She hasn’t let go of his hand, hasn’t stopped whispering prayers under her breath, and she also hasn’t said a word to me.
I’m somewhat thankful, considering the fact that my throat feels like it's been worked through with razor blades, and I’m not sure if I could keep it together in front of her.
The steady flow of tears at this point is reasonable for a best friend, but I wouldn’t be able to disguise my real feelings for him if I had to speak.
The dam would break, and it’d all crash through.
From what my fried brain has gathered, the bullet went straight through, so it's not stuck somewhere in his shoulder. The doctor says they just need to watch for infection the next couple of days and then he’s free to go home.
So, he’s okay. He’s not going to die like I thought when I was tripping.
The thought replayed over and over burying me in the most sinister, dark trip I’ve ever experienced.
I’ll never be taking acid again—not that I did it willingly last night—but still.
The opportunity for some shit like that will never happen again.
Being convinced that the love of my life was dead for hours was unbearable. Completely fucking catastrophic. I was trapped in my mind. Yelling. Screaming. I gulp and my dry throat burns. Never. Again.
I just wish I could touch him. I feel like a dick because I want to tell her to move from that seat and let me feel him. Feel his pulse in his wrist. Watch his chest rise and fall with every breath. But it’s her son, and I won’t take that from her. I’m not even sure where we stand at this point.
The door opens and in walk Ant, Ben, and Damon.
I guess visitor hours have started finally.
Ben immediately wraps me in a hug, that I didn’t realize I needed.
Burying my nose in his neck, a quiet sob escapes my throat.
He tells me it’s okay, everything’s gonna be fine.
The words no one wants to hear when they’re wrecked like this.
I hear Ant talking to Ms. Janet, he’s asking her the important questions.
How is he recovering? Does she need anything?
It makes me feel guilty, but the fog in my brain is only just now starting to clear. I seriously need to sleep.
Ben sits down next to me, taking my hand in his and laying his head on my shoulder.
Damon lands next to him. Ms. Janet stands from her chair and runs her gaze over all of us.
It pauses where Damon’s hand is gripping Ben’s thigh.
A flicker of pain ignites my chest. Liam and I will forever be doomed in her eyes.
“I’m going to get some food and give you all some time with him,” she mutters exhaustedly.
As soon has the heavy door falls shut behind her, I shoot up from the couch and scramble over to Liam.
I don’t care that our friends are watching behind me.
I grab Liam’s hand and bring it up to my cheek and hold it there, turning my face into his palm.
Tears continuously fall from my eyes, but no noise leaves my lips.
His eyebrows pull together, and I gasp. He blinks his eyes groggily and attempts to lick across his lips, but his mouth is too dry. I just look down at him with pleading eyes, afraid to break the silence in the room.
“Liam,” I finally say, my voice far raspier than I expected. “Liam, it’s okay. We’re all here, I’m here.”
His hand tightens around mine, squeezing it as he finally opens his eyes. “What’s going on?” He attempts to sit up but hisses and lays back down.
“This shit burns,” he grunts. My eyes widen and I almost laugh at how fucking nonchalant he is right now.
“I’m going to call for the nurse,” Ant announces. I ignore him and continue staring into Liam’s dark eyes. I think both of us are too exhausted to get words out, but that’s okay. I can feel the intensity in his gaze.
A nurse comes in quickly and brings a cup of water. He holds the straw to Liam’s lips, and he drinks what he can. The nurse gives him his antibiotics and suggests that he take some medicine for the pain. Liam doesn’t seem too keen on that idea, but he agrees anyway.
When he leaves, Liam turns his head toward me and asks, “Did those motherfuckers get arrested or did they get away?”
“They didn’t get away, but I wasn’t really in the right state to understand what was happening,” I say. “I haven’t heard from Mad, so I’m assuming he was arrested too.” My lips turn down even more at the thought. I wish he would just clean his life up already.
“No more Mad,” he bites out. “You were almost shot because of him— again. You could’ve died. If I wouldn’t have run when I did, it would’ve been you with a bullet. And it might not have been in your shoulder like mine was.”
I gnaw at my lip because he’s right. Of course, he is.
But I don’t want to blame everything on Mad.
I know his bad traits and all the awful shit he’s done, but I know, deep down that he can change.
He will. Maybe I can’t be along for the ride though.
Another tear rolls down my cheek for the loss of a friend.
I press my head on his thigh and rest there. We sit in silence for a while until Damon speaks up. “So are y’all gonna become old people now and stay in all the time like Ben and I?” It was his way of easing the tension in the room, but it weighs heavily on me.
“We’d stopped already. We were fine, but I begged him to go to this one. He didn’t even want to,” I croak. Guilt coils in my gut again.
“Don’t start that shit, T. It’s not your fault that I got shot.
Shit happens. People get shot all the time around here, and you know that.
” I know it’s not my fault, but it still hurts knowing that this shit wouldn’t have happened had I not been so concerned about getting fucked up at some stupid mansion party.
I know that I like to socialize, and I need to be around people to stay sane. But there’s other ways to do that.
The nurse comes back in and following right behind him is Liam’s mom. She sees where my head rests on his thigh, immediately. Her face twists up in disgust or confusion, I’m not sure. I attempt to pry my hand from his and move, but he squeezes tighter.
He swallows the pills that the nurse gives him. When the nurse leaves, Ms. Janet approaches us. She grabs his other hand and kisses his fingers. “Thank God you’re okay. I love you so much. You’re so strong, baby.” The words tumble from her lips quickly, over and over again.
“It’s okay, Ma. They said I should be out of here in no time,” he reassures her. Her chin trembles as she takes a steadying breath and her eyes meet mine.
“And how are you doing, Teddy? Are you okay?” she asks and the words sound sincere enough.
My mouth falls open in confusion, and her eyes widen.
“What? You think I’d stop caring about you and loving you just because of your sexuality?
” She scoffs, but tears brim in her already glassy eyes.
I’m at a loss for words, opening and closing my mouth like an idiot.
“I know I didn’t handle it as well as I could’ve that day—I just needed time to think. I wanted to understand it and you, but I never even once considered disowning you.”
“We’re together, Ma,” Liam says tiredly. “I’m not gonna hide it any longer from you or anyone else. He means far too much to me.”
My teeth bite into my lip painfully to keep me grounded in this moment when everything seems to be up in the air.
I look at her hesitantly and watch as a million different emotions flicker across her face.
She clears her throat. “I’m just happy you’re both safe.
Now’s not the time to talk about any of this.
You both need rest.” I can tell that she’s upset, because the words sounded forced from her throat.
“I’m gonna go home and get some rest myself.
I’ll be back first thing in the morning. ”
I clear my throat. “I’ll probably stay here and sleep on the couch.”
“That’s probably for the best.” She nods.
“You need a ride, Ms. Janet?” Damon offers, standing up and patting his pocket for his keys.
“Sure, thanks.”
And just like that, there’s a whirlwind of hugs and sad smiles before everyone leaves, and I’m left with the obnoxious beeping and the sound of Liam’s steady breaths.