Chapter 25
Twenty-Five
Liam
A three-day hospital stay and a fat hospital bill later, and I’ve never been happier to lay in my own shitty hotel bed. I have to keep taking antibiotics but no more pain pills for me. I’m sick of sleeping and not doing shit all day long.
Somehow, getting shot in the shoulder has put a lot of things into perspective for me.
While it wasn’t fatal or anything near it, had things happened any amount differently, the outcome could’ve been far worse.
Teddy and I both agree that we’re okay with leaving that life behind us.
Easy. Neither of us cared that much about it to begin with.
Before everything happened, I had a long conversation with Mad.
We talked about so many things—his children, his goals and dreams. Some deep shit.
I understood then why my angel likes him so much; he’s complex.
What you see is a dangerous criminal, but there’s more beneath the surface.
He’s a genuine person who’s just trying to get by like the rest of us.
Unfortunately, he does so by any means necessary. He lives a life consumed by anxiety about who he can trust. I can’t live that way, and like the saying goes—if you lay with dogs, you get up with fleas. I won’t be dragged into his bullshit ever again and neither will Teddy.
My eyes down to where his curly head is nuzzled under my arm. I can’t rid myself of the look of sheer terror on his face when I collapsed onto him. It’s engrained in my memory. Even when I finally woke up in the hospital, he looked as though he could hardly believe it.
I was lucky.
If chaos hadn’t erupted, I may not have made it out with merely a shoulder wound.
I squeeze him a little tighter. Whenever I think that night could’ve been the last time I ever saw him, my heart constricts painfully.
Far worse than any pain a bullet could even hope to cause.
That’s what finally pushed me to come out and tell my mom about us.
What’s the fucking point of hiding and living your life only to please everyone around you?
I’ll rock the boat if I need to, and that’s all there is to it.
This is my life. And Teddy’s not going any-fucking-where. So, everyone from here on out will just have to deal with it. Him and I are going to grow and claw our way out of this town that so badly wants to keep us down.
A knock sounds at the door and my brows scrunch together immediately. Who the fuck is knocking this early? No one ever comes to our room. I shake Teddy a bit and tell him to put some pants on. I trudge toward the door, legs heavy with disuse. Another knock.
I swing it open and my mouth falls.
“Good morning, baby.” Mom smirks. She has never come over before.
I got the idea that maybe she wasn’t ready for me to move out when I did because she didn’t help me or come visit or anything like that.
My mom likes to ignore problems, almost like if she doesn’t see it, she doesn’t have to deal with it.
One thought that rang loudly throughout my three days of stagnancy was, had something worse happened to me, the last memory my mom would’ve had of me wasn’t a good one. Not by a long shot. I’ve always valued her and worked to not leave things on a bad note, but the one time I did…
I don’t like to think about it.
“Hey, Ma. You coming in?”
She nods her head and follows in behind me, taking a moment to look around the place. “Nice and clean.” She grins.
“You thought I’d become a slob the minute I moved out or something?” I open the mini fridge and hand her a bottle of water. Teddy stumbled to the bathroom as soon as I woke him up—I can hear him brushing his teeth.
“Is that Teddy in there?” she asks quietly.
“Yes, ma’am. He lives here.”
Her nose wrinkles, but she remains quiet, taking a seat at the small table.
Teddy opens the door, and I cup his face, placing a sweet kiss on his lips.
Warmth spreads through my veins from the simple contact.
He jolts in surprise, and his eyes dart to my mom.
“Hey, Ms. Janet,” he says, trying but failing to sound confident.
Her eyes turn down at the corners. “Good morning, Teddy. Listen, I want to talk to you two.” Steeling myself, I grab Teddy’s hand and lead him to the edge of the bed, so we can face her. He breathes steadily next to me and seems to have some kind of resolve.
“I just want to start by saying how much I love the both of you. Liam, my one and only son. You’ve stood by me and supported me since you were little, and I know it’s been difficult at times.
But you always did it. Always showed me respect, and I’m proud of you.
” Her words reach some place in a far corner of my brain.
It’s not like my mom to speak openly like this about anything —let alone her own wrongdoings.
“And Teddy. You’re like a son to me, always have been.
I’ve watched you grow up from a tiny little thing into an adult, and most of that time was spent under my roof.
So, of course, when you came out to me—quite abruptly, might I add—my first question was what did I do wrong?
I’ve come to understand some things, though.
I spoke to my pastor and some friends. I know how harmful that line of thought is because by saying that, I’m insinuating that there’s something wrong with you.
” She looks him in the eyes intently. “There is nothing wrong with you, Teddy. You have dealt with so much trauma from such a young age, and you are nothing but happiness. You light up any room you walk into. None of the awful things Diana put you through have soured your outlook, and that’s amazing. Something to be proud of.”
I risk a glance at him and find his eyes welling with tears, face all red. “I would never want you to think that I think any less of you. I wonder to myself how did I never notice? I understand that this probably isn’t a new discovery for either of you.”
“Being homosexual isn’t always something that you can foresee, Mom,” I interrupt.
She nods her head. “I understand that now. I also understand that you and Teddy have been closer than friends for a long time now, and I could’ve seen this coming had I paid a bit more attention.”
“I came out as gay first, I’ve known since sometime in middle school.
I didn’t even tell Liam until this year.
The way society reacts to homosexuality made me afraid to be who I really am.
The idea that someone who once loved you could completely disown you overnight is terrifying,” Teddy whispers.
Once again, my heart aches for all the pain he went through alone.
I could never disown him. Not for anything.
“Well, I don’t think my son could do that even if he wanted to. His whole world has revolved around you since the day you two met. I don’t understand why anyone would look at something so beautiful and pure and condemn it. I think God will see that too,” she says confidently.
I rest squeeze Teddy’s hand tightly, and watch the tears roll down his face. “I’m thankful for you taking time to come here and set things straight. It means a lot to both of us—more than you could know. But we don’t need to talk about this anymore, Ma.”
“Funny you should say that because I’d like to know what the hell you two were doing at a party with guns!” Her calm voice raises to a yell, and I cringe.
“No need to worry about it. We won’t be partying anymore. We’re buckling down—Teddy’s gonna start college and we’re looking for an apartment—” I start, but T interrupts me.
“I dragged Liam to the party, it was my fault we went there. I should’ve just listened to him when he expressed his concerns about the type of people that might be there. So, I’m sorry, Ms. Janet,” he rasps, sincerity lacing his tone. She shakes her head at him.
“It’s fine, Teddy. It’s no one’s fault other than the people who put a hole in his shoulder. Don’t beat yourself up about it, especially if you’ve learned a lesson from it. And it seems like you two have.”
She moves toward him, wrapping him in a tight hug, and the emotions he’s been bottling up for all this time melt away.
His shoulders relax and his knuckles turn white against her back.
I know how much her acceptance means to him, and he didn’t want to lose her—his only mother-figure.
He worked up the courage to call his own mom yesterday to let her know what happened to us, and she told him he was a fucking idiot and so was I.
My molars grind just thinking about it. How she sucked the light right from his eyes in a five-minute phone call.
We both agreed that until she gets help, there’ll be no more contact between them.
Sometimes you have to put your own sanity first.
“Come give me a hug, Liam. Don’t make me force you,” my mother croons, turning toward me.
I didn’t expect her to just be okay with everything overnight, and I can tell she’s still upset by everything.
It’s apparent that she’s trying her best to not be offensive, and to understand.
After a lifetime of believing that being gay is a sin, and we’re doomed, I’m surprised she’s even trying to learn and change her beliefs.
She’s not a bad person—never has been. And it’s clear to see now. She’s putting us first.