Showdown on the dance floor #2
“That would be a first,” he snapped at her, but finally let go of them both.
“You’ve already made up your minds and got the whole family on your side.
I happened to get cast as the ignorant moron who stands in the way of your happiness!
But has anyone ever considered my ideas of a happy life?
My plans and wishes? No, of course not. You’re not interested in any of that.
I am just the tool you want to use to build your happy family.
Get the eejit to donate his sperm and then we can forget all about him.
But I’ll tell you something: I’m not okay with any of this! ”
“Of course we’re interested in your plans and wishes, and we know how big a favour we’re asking of you,” said Glenna. “That’s exactly why we came here, to talk about it again calmly and without all the others. To share all the arguments and listen to each other without any preconceived notions.”
Kendrick closed his eyes. He knew Glenna was right.
The problem wouldn’t go away on its own and ignoring it wouldn’t help either.
But their timing was the worst. Why did they have to pick tonight of all nights?
How had they even known he was at the event?
Well, the last one was easy: he had called the animal hospital yesterday to transfer the on-call duty for tonight to them.
As they talked, he had told his father about the event, and of course his da had shared the information with them.
But what did they expect from confronting him today of all days?
That he would be in high spirits and perhaps a little drunk? In other words, easy to manipulate?
How he hated that he could even think this way about them!
Glenna and Davina were, or had been, among his nearest and dearest for so many years, and here he was accusing them, if only in his mind, of some pretty nasty scheming!
If he was honest with himself, he couldn’t stand the man he had become in these past few months: he was behaving like a wounded animal, attacking anyone who got too close.
Then again, this whole mess really hadn’t been his doing.
Glenna had left him to shack up with his older sister.
That they now wanted him to be the sperm donor for their future children was just the icing on the cake.
Even if he was going round in circles and despised himself for his behaviour – he had every bloody reason to be angry and hurt!
But recently, he also heard another little voice: one that understood his pain and thought his frustration justified but urged him to bring this chapter in his life to a close so he could be free for new things, perhaps even a new love.
Shona’s image briefly flickered before his inner eye.
He took a deep breath. “Okay, let’s talk. ”
“It’s nice here,” Davina said some twenty minutes later. They had decided to drive to his cottage for the peace and quiet their conversation required. Glenna and Davina had looked around curiously before they had settled down at his kitchen table.
“Very nice,” Glenna agreed with her. “But also big. This house has enough room for a whole family.”
“That wasn’t why I bought it,” he replied icily.
“Its location is great, and I am planning to set up a small practice in the annex. The cottage itself isn’t that big.
” He wasn’t in the mood for small talk. Of course, they were right: the house was far too big for one person.
There would easily be room for a family of four or five, plus a dog and maybe even a chicken coop in the garden.
“Please stop being so dismissive,” Davina implored him. “We’ve always been tight – Ma, Da, Finola, Kyleen, you, me, Glenna and the whole hospital team. We miss you. We all miss you!”
“That’s not my fault, and I’m sick and tired of you putting all the blame on me!” he snapped.
“I didn’t choose this either,” said Glenna sadly. “It’s nobody’s fault.”
“Aye, I know. It just sucks for me that you took so long to realise that you prefer women over men,” he retorted.
“I know you can’t choose who you fall in love with.
I know it was hard for you to come to terms with.
But you have to admit that this is a lot for me to take in.
My girlfriend of ten years, with whom I wanted to start a family, falls in love with my older sister.
You don’t just take that sort of betrayal in your stride.
But yes, I know it’s not your ‘fault’ either.
” Kendrick looked at the two women. He knew them both so well that the sight of them was almost as familiar as his own face in the mirror.
No, actually more familiar. And yes, he missed them too.
He also missed his two other sisters and his parents.
It was true, they had always been very close – at work and at home – and he missed the community. Very much so. He sighed.
“Thank you, that’s a good start,” said Davina, reaching across the table to put a comforting hand on his.
“It really was pretty overwhelming for us too. I certainly hadn’t planned on this.
I always liked Glenna and found her unbelievably attractive, but it never occurred to me that she could feel more than friendship for me.
But our feelings developed, very slowly, and we both fought it tooth and nail.
Because it just couldn’t be! We didn’t want to hurt you and destroy the family.
But then last year when we were at this congress in Houston ... ”
“That was a year and a half ago!” Kendrick hollered. “Are you telling me that this thing between you has been going on for a year and a half?”
Davina and Glenna exchanged a brief glance, which seemed to encompass an entire conversation. The result was apparently that they wanted to come clean and tell him the whole truth, regardless of how it would make him feel.
“Actually, it’s been a lot longer than that,” Glenna admitted. “Do you remember Christmas three years ago?”
“Erm ...” Kendrick’s ears were ringing and he was struggling to process what he was hearing. Three years? And what had happened that Christmas?
“I was in a really bad place because Macy had just dumped me three days before the break,” Davina began.
“And you had to run out to an emergency during dinner,” Glenna added.
He remembered how he had spent almost twenty hours straight in a farmer’s cowshed, which had been ravaged by a severe stomach virus. A total nightmare! With some effort, he brought his attention back to what Glenna was saying, even though he definitely didn’t want to hear it.
“So you were gone,” she continued. “And I didn’t feel like partying with your sisters and their friends.
Davina felt the same way, so I accompanied her to her flat to comfort her.
” She looked at her girlfriend and swallowed hard.
“I really thought I was just going to console her as she was so sad. But to be honest, part of me probably had other plans already. I’d always admired her.
As a colleague, a friend, your sister – and as a woman.
I didn’t make too much of it for a long time, but when I realised how my heart was racing when I was around her, I started to wonder.
Then I imagined what she might be doing with her girlfriend.
What it might feel like to kiss a woman and make love to her.
I found this idea incredibly arousing – and frightening too.
I couldn’t be a lesbian, could I? After all, I’d been with you for so many years. We loved each other. But the sex ...”
“Had basically stopped by that point,” he finished her sentence dully.
“I know,” she said contritely. “Perhaps you can imagine how much of a shock it was to realise that I wanted a woman more than the man I was with and whom I loved with all my heart.” She looked at him imploringly.
“Aye. It wasn’t exactly something I’d expected either,” he replied sarcastically.
“Aye, I know. But I can only tell you, it wasn’t easy for me. That night ...”
“Please don’t,” Kendrick moaned, his voice strained.
“I really don’t want to hear that you slept with my sister for the first time that night and that it was amazing and mind-blowing.
Or that you both felt so guilty and promised that it would be only this one time and there wouldn’t be another slip-up.
But of course it happened, and you went at each other at every suitable opportunity, which made you feel even guiltier, but what were you going to do?
Continue to fight your feelings for each other? ”
The two women looked at him, dumbfounded. “That’s exactly how it was,” Davina conceded. “We didn’t want this. And we certainly didn’t want to hurt you.”
“But you have! And now you’re making it worse,” he blurted out, glaring at Glenna.
“I thought you’d just discovered your passion for each other.
I even thought that my sister was a rebound for you because you didn’t know how else to get out of our relationship.
I didn’t understand why you couldn’t simply break up with me.
That would have hurt too, but not quite so much! ”
He buried his face in his hands and shook his head as disturbing images appeared before his inner eye.