Showdown on the dance floor #3
“So now I learn that things have been going on between you for over three years. Guess that explains why you are in such a rush to start a family. If you were newly in love, that would be a tad hasty, wouldn’t it?
” He stared at them again, but neither of them said a word.
“Couldn’t you have just broken up with me after that Christmas?
” he added in a low, resigned voice. “Wouldn’t that have saved us all a lot of heartache?
What else do I have to question, now that I know the last three years of my life were one big lie.
” Kendrick hadn’t thought he could feel any worse than he already did.
But this was worse, and he felt as if he’d been hit by a boulder.
Kendrick craved a glass of whisky. And a cup of tea.
He forced himself up, filled the kettle and rummaged in the kitchen cupboard for mugs and glasses.
“It wasn’t all a lie,” Glenna objected. “We did have good times. I thought for a long while that it was just a phase and my desire for Davina would pass. But then, in Houston ...”
Standing in front of a kitchen cupboard, Kendrick had his back to them, but he could imagine the scene behind him: meaningful looks, a silent weighing up of what they could tell him and what they had better keep to themselves.
As far as he was concerned, he didn’t care to hear any more.
He had to sit with it and let everything he had just heard sink in.
If that was even possible! He took a half-empty bottle of whisky from the top shelf and placed it on the table along with three glasses.
Then he poured the kettle to let the tea brew and sat down again.
“Kenny, please,” Davina began and put her hand on his arm again. “I know this must be hard for you, but ...” She swallowed. “Can’t you forgive us and take the next step?”
Kendrick opened the bottle and poured a small amount for himself.
To his surprise, his hand was absolutely steady.
He lifted his glass and took in the strong flavour of the whisky before taking a large sip.
The alcohol burned in his throat but warmed his stomach.
He didn’t even care for whisky that much, but today it was medicinal.
“And what do you mean by ‘taking the next step’?”
“First off, that we restore our good relationship, start to trust each other again, like we used to. We are still a family after all.”
“I’ve just learnt that your betrayal was even worse than I had thought.
Which, believe me, was enough to shatter my trust in you permanently.
But now you’re telling me that it’s been going on for much longer and is even more serious, and I’m supposed to shake it off and pretend everything is fine?
” He took another sip. This time the burning sensation in his throat was a lot less intense.
He could apparently get used to anything.
Shona would probably say that a good whisky shouldn’t burn at all and that he shouldn’t use it to numb himself.
But Shona wasn’t here, and numbing was exactly what he wanted from this drink right now.
“We don’t expect you to pretend that everything is fine if you feel otherwise,” Glenna said gently.
“But we were hoping that knowing more would help you make sense of everything. As you’ve just realised, we didn’t decide on a whim to have children together; it’s a deep-rooted desire that’s grown over time.
And I am sure we could offer a child a happy life. ”
“I remember us talking about having children while we were together,” he replied. “Even during these last three years. But you always told me you weren’t ready, that it was too early and maybe we shouldn’t bring children into this world at all.”
Glenna looked down at the table and toyed with her whisky glass without taking a sip.
“Don’t worry. I get it. You just didn’t want to have children with me. But that’s why I don’t understand what has changed. Oh right, I almost forgot! You don’t want me as your children’s father, just their uncle.” Kendrick’s anger flared up again.
“We said already that we are open to discussing the specifics and are happy to let the child know that you are their biological father,” Davina intervened. “Don’t you think it all sounds a lot better than if we use an anonymous sperm donor?”
“Seriously?!” Kendrick shook his head in bewilderment.
“Think about the child. If we go with a sperm donor, what should we tell them later about their father? And with you as the biological father, the kid would genetically also be partly my child and not just Glenna’s.”
Kendrick got up again, this time to get the tea – and to buy some time. They were back at the point where all their conversations had stalled before. Theoretically speaking, he understood the two women’s wish. From their perspective, it perhaps made sense. But from his, it felt dead wrong.
All of a sudden, he was terribly exhausted. “Tea?” he asked, bringing the pot and three cups to the table. This time it was Davina who poured, and Kendrick realised with a certain satisfaction that her hand was not quite as steady as his.
They took a few sips in silence, each of them lost in their own thoughts.
The women seemed to have said everything they had come to say.
But what about him? He had plenty to say, but he had to process what he’d heard first. “Listen,” he finally broke the silence.
“From a purely rational viewpoint, I understand your wish. I really do. But as things stand, this is not a rational decision for me. If I have a child, I want to be a father, with all the ups and downs of being a parent.” He raised his hand to stop her when Glenna opened her mouth to interject.
“Even if we were to co-parent and I would have equal rights, I don’t know if I could do it or would want to do it right now.
I have to work through all that’s happened and put the pieces of my life back together before I can make a good decision. Do you understand that?”
Both women nodded. “Then it’s not a flat-out ‘no’?” Davina asked gently.
“But it’s not a ‘yes’ either. I don’t know how I’ll decide, and I can’t tell you how long it’ll take, but I promise I’ll think about it long and hard.”
“Good enough for me,” Glenna piped up, a small hopeful smile on her lips.
“There’s no cause for joy. I think it rather likely that I’ll decide against it,” he tried to curb her visible optimism. “And it certainly won’t help your case if you continue to goad the family into bugging me with constant phone calls. That’ll make me say ‘no’ for sure.”
“Got it. We don’t want that anyway, but Ma is so excited about the idea of having a grandchild that ...”
Kendrick waved it off. “Cut it out. I don’t care how you do it. I just don’t want to deal with these daily calls.”
“I promise we’ll find a way. Really sorry about that.” Davina had the decency to look contrite. “And now that’s settled, I’d really like to know who that black-haired vixen at the event was?”
Wow, what a change of subject! Kendrick almost laughed; this was so typical of his sister.
As soon as an agenda item was ticked off, no matter how dramatic, Davina pragmatically went on to the next, which in this case was apparently Shona.
“That was Shona Fraser. You know Marlin Fraser, don’t you?
She’s his youngest daughter and owns the local distillery,” he replied matter-of-factly.
They didn’t need to know what else Shona was to him.
Truth be told, he didn’t even know himself.
“And she does Highland dancing too,” Davina said with a mischievous smile.
“What makes you think that?” he wanted to know.
“Her dress.”
Right! The fabulous red dance outfit with the tight bodice that offered such a magnificent view.
“She’s cute.” Davina’s smile took on a feline quality.
Glenna cleared her throat, and Kendrick’s brow furrowed. “What are you implying?”
“Nothing. She is cute. Is she your new girlfriend?”
“What? No! What makes you think that?”
Davina shrugged. “No idea. Female intuition perhaps? So you’re not together?”
“No, I’ve just said that. And even if we were, what would it be to you?”
“Nothing at all. But I would be happy if you had someone you loved as much as I love Glenna.” Davina had become very serious, and she clasped Glenna’s hand with her long fingers.
“I really wish that for you with all my heart. I’ve never felt before what I do now, and I’m guessing you haven’t either.
Don’t settle for anything less. I know we’ve hurt you a lot and I’m truly sorry for that.
But big feelings are worth taking big risks. ”