Chapter 22
Penny
It’s Valentine's Day and I sent Autumn off to school with cookies and cards for all of her classmates.
The coffee shop is busy with people getting goodies for their significant others, and there’s finally a lull. I make each one of the employees at Blank Canvas Ink their favorite drink and grab the extra dozen cookies I made to bring to the shop.
When I enter, the sound of tattoo guns buzzing echoes around the room. Declan, Preston, Becca, and Jude are all with clients, so I set everything down on the reception desk and try to sneak out quietly. I made sure to label their drinks so they would know whose is whose.
“And what is my girlfriend doing in here?” yells Becca from across the shop. I pause and turn around. “Hot damn, did you dress up for me, because you look like sex on a stick.” Becca looks me up and down, and I blush at her comment.
Out of me and Jordan, I’m usually the bold one.
But Becca beats me tenfold because she has absolutely zero filter on her mouth.
She might not be everyone’s cup of tea, but I love her personality.
She’s bold and beautiful. I hope she likes her coffee cup because unbeknownst to her, I kissed it with my red-stained lips.
I hear tattoo guns pause and see heads pop up. Now I just feel self-conscious. I’m wearing a red bodysuit with mesh puffy sleeves that go down to my wrists, black corduroy bell bottoms, and red booties. My makeup is minimal, but I’m wearing red lipstick to match.
I catch Declan’s eyes, and he’s staring at me like he wants to eat me.
“Who the fuck is that, and can I have her number?” a voice I don’t recognize says. It came from the guy Preston is tattooing. Declan’s head swings toward the man, and I swear he’s about to say something, but then I see Preston slap the guy on the back of his head and tell him to ‘shut the fuck up.’
I take a few steps forward, not passing the pony wall because everyone is working, and say, “I brought you guys coffee and cookies. They’re on the reception desk. But I’ll see you later.”
“And she’s the sweetest person alive, people! That’s why she’s my girlfriend! Platonically, unfortunately,” Becca pouts for everyone to see.
I laugh and say, “Thanks, babe.” And I give her a wink.
She puts her hand over her heart and gives me lovey-dovey eyes, and I smile back at her.
It doesn’t escape me that I can see Declan tattooing an attractive brunette, who’s getting a tattoo on the top of her thigh, and he’s extremely close to her… privates.
I tamp down the flare of jealousy, because I’m not jealous, while everyone but Declan says thank you and goodbye. I can feel the heat of his stare on my back as I leave the shop, and I sigh out loud once the door closes behind me.
I tilt my head towards the sky and soak in the sun because it’s a beautiful day, but I can’t help but feel a little sad on Valentine’s Day.
My high school boyfriend was my only Valentine, and after that, I’ve never had someone to share the day with besides Autumn.
I’m a romantic at heart and love love. Tonight, I’m going to binge romance movies and eat my weight in cookies because my parents are taking Autumn to a kids’ event downtown, giving me the night off.
I’m not going to lie, I’m excited to have the time to myself, but I’m just going to wallow in self-pity while I think about how I’m probably never going to find love in this lifetime.
I turn to take the few steps back to the coffee shop when the door to Blank Canvas Ink opens behind me.
“Penny, wait,” Declan says, and I turn to look at him.
He’s wearing an olive-green T-shirt that accentuates his eyes, combat boots, and dark jeans.
His style might be simple, but he looks fucking edible.
“What’s up?” I ask, trying to keep my eyes on his instead of wandering all over his body. Who would have thought that keeping a male friend around who looks like a model would be so hard?
“Thank you for the coffee, you didn’t have to do that.”
I shrug my shoulders. “I know. But it’s Valentine’s Day, and all of you guys come into the coffee shop to support us, so I thought I would do something nice.”
“What are you and Autumn doing tonight?”
“Autumn’s staying at my parents and I have a pint of cookies and cream ice cream to eat and a list of movies I’m going to watch.”
He nods his head. “I was thinking, I don’t get off until around seven, but do you want to come over for dinner? I was going to cook steaks and asparagus.”
I shake my head. “Declan, I shoul–”
He holds up his hands. “As friends. I swear. Plus, I have something for Autumn that you can pick up.”
I hesitate because I feel like I’m playing with fire at this point. It’s going to be complete torture being in his presence, alone with him, but I don’t have any self-preservation instincts. “Okay, sure. Just text me when to come over and I’ll be ready.”
~ ~ ~
When Declan gives me the go-ahead to come over, I put on my pink slides and grab my tote bag of goodies.
I have my arsenal of ice cream, wine, beer, and plenty of chocolate to get through the night. I changed into my black and pink tie-dye matching sweat set, too, because I wanted to be comfortable tonight.
Now that I’ve had a piece of Declan, and now that I’ve nixed the benefits part of our friendship deal, I didn’t realize how hard it was going to be to be around him and not jump his bones.
The fact that I told myself I couldn’t have him makes me want him even more.
But I’ve had to remind myself we were always going to end the benefits part of this anyway, going back to being friends once everything was over.
“What’s all that?” Declan asks, pointing to the bag slung over my shoulder as I enter his apartment.
“Goodies. But I need to put the ice cream in the freezer.” The apartment smells amazing, and I clock the candle that’s lit in the living room with a bunch of pillows and blankets set up on the floor.
“You didn’t need to bring anything, I got a bunch of stuff,” he tells me as he presses the light button on the oven and checks what’s inside of it.
I pull open his freezer, and front and center sits cookies and cream ice cream. The good kind, too. My heart does that thing it does when I’m around him, but I ignore it and stuff my cheap ice cream next to his.
“Here, let me,” he says as he pulls the rest of the stuff out. He grabs a wine bottle opener from a drawer and two wine glasses from the cupboard.
“You drink wine?” I ask.
“I do. Not often, but with certain foods, I like a glass.”
“I didn’t know you liked country music either,” I say as I recognize a familiar slow tune coming through the speaker on the counter.
He pours us each a glass of wine and hands one to me, his fingers brushing mine. Goosebumps instantly rise on my skin, and I’m glad I’m covered from head to toe, so he doesn’t notice.
“It’s my guilty pleasure. Ever since I was a teenager.”
“I love country music too,” I tell him honestly. “It’s the one genre that tells the best love stories.”
He takes a sip of wine, staring me in the eyes, and I look away from his gaze. I knew it was going to be hard, being alone with him, and I’m already regretting coming over here.
“Why don’t you cue up a movie? I have almost all the streaming services. And the steaks should be done in two minutes.”
I moan around every bite of food once we get seated in front of the coffee table. You’ve Got Mail plays in the background as we eat and idly chat, and I don’t think I’ve had a dinner this nice… ever.
“Can I ask you a serious question?” Declan asks as he sets his fork and knife down after finishing his meal.
I turn my head towards him. “Yeah. Shoot.”
“Why aren’t you with Autumn’s dad.”
I pause my next bite mid-air. That’s not what I thought he was going to ask. But frankly, I’m surprised he didn’t ask me sooner. On his first encounter with Autumn, she told him she didn’t have a dad. And it’s true. She doesn’t. She has a sperm donor.
I set my fork down and bite my lip, trying to think about how much information I want to divulge to him.
I told him how I was basically a virgin, but he doesn’t know much else besides that.
I lean my head against the couch and roll it in his direction.
“Because he’s not a good person and was just a one-night stand. ”
His eyes search mine before saying, “You don’t seem like the type of person just to give your virginity to someone random, so what happened?”
I take a deep breath and turn to look at the TV.
“He pursued me. Hard. And he was charming and charismatic. Objectively handsome. You name it, I thought he had it. But I also knew he was a player. And the night that Autumn was conceived, he finally broke me down enough to convince me to have sex with him. My gut knew something was wrong, but I went through with it anyway. Once it was all said and done, he brought me back down to the party and didn’t talk to me for the rest of the night.
I left as soon as I overheard one of his frat brothers talking about losing a bet.
” I look to Declan and say, “I was the bet. All twenty-six of the guys in his fraternity took a bet on how fast Autumn’s father could fuck me. ”
Declan’s nostrils flare and his jaw tenses, but I continue, “I didn’t find out I was pregnant with Autumn until I was at the ten-week mark.
And when I went to confront him about it, he told me I was a whore and that I would be hearing from his lawyer.
Two days later, a man showed up at my door and gave me one option: take a paternity test and if the paternity was proven, sign an NDA.
I signed the piece of paper, not even a week later, saying I would never breathe a word about who the father was.
I was cut a check too but never cashed it.
Looking back, I probably should have talked to my parents or a lawyer, but I was too scared. ”