Chapter 9
9
“Natalie is… She’s…”
“Infuriating?” James suggested.
“Intoxicating?” Knox added.
“Addictive?” Hudson said.
“Are you all looking to screw around on your women?” I snapped.
“No, sir. We just understand that look on your face,” Patrick said.
I looked at the smirks of the other men and realized they were goading me. “I… You all suck.”
They laughed at my expense, and I found myself chuckling with them.
“Listen, we know what it’s like when you find a woman who turns you inside out and makes you want to punch walls and kiss her until you run out of breath, at the same time. We’ve all been there. And we’ve all helped each other through it,” Hudson said.
“There’s no shame here. Maybe some enjoyment of your discomfort, but we’re on the other side, sir. We know how painful it is to be where you are,” Patrick said.
“First, you need to quit calling me sir . Or Mr. Mayor . If I’m going to be here, I can’t have that separation.” I met the gazes of the men there and waited for each to nod. “Second, Natalie is not mine and isn’t going to be. I just need to figure out how to get her out of my mind.”
“Why isn’t she going to be yours? I don’t know of anyone she’s dating,” James said, picking up his beer to take a sip.
“She’s an employee. It wouldn’t be right.” I shook my head, knowing the way it looked and the way people would talk.
“Goldie is my boss. It kept us apart for a long time because she was worried about the same thing, but one of the things I love about her is she would never compromise her integrity or what’s right for the town because of my opinion. I’d venture to say you’re the same,” Patrick said, leveling me with a look that was as much questioning as it was assurance that he was right.
“I would never use my position?—”
“Which is what he’s saying,” James interrupted me. “My mom is a huge fan of yours. She speaks very highly of you.”
“So does Goldie,” Patrick added.
“And everyone else who works with you,” Knox added. “Or has had the pleasure of getting to know you. Derek tells me all the time how good of a person you are. Not mayor, person. You’re more than your title. And you’re allowed to have a personal life.”
“Natalie is…” I couldn’t find the words to describe her. And I wasn’t sure they would understand if I did.
“When I met Anna, my wife,” Hudson said, capturing my attention, “I hated the woman. She was obnoxious and loud and in my face all the damn time. She hated me, too. Thought I was going to fuck up her son by giving him a job. Fuck up their lives.”
“But she married you.”
Hudson nodded, the smile of a truly happy man lighting up his entire face. The stern, serious, intimidating bar owner was a softie for his family. “We learned to see beyond the mask. Anna was hiding a lot of distrust as a result of her ex-husband. I was hiding a lot of pain from losing my wife. Neither was recent, but neither of us had gotten over our pasts. It took her needing my help, and me proving I was not the same as her ex, for us to see each other differently.”
“And you’re saying I need to do that with Natalie?” I asked.
James shook his head. “No, what he’s saying is every woman is different. I judged Trinity the day we met. Saw a stranger and thought she was stealing. Wasted a lot of time we could have been getting to know each other because I jumped to conclusions about her.”
“I slept with Haley before I knew her name. Impossible to resist her, but not the way I intended to start a relationship,” Knox confessed.
“You’re engaged and have a kid on the way, right?” I asked.
Knox grinned proudly. “Best one-night stand of my life, and even better date the next night. But that didn’t mean it was easy.”
“The question is, do you want to forget Natalie, or are you wanting to get to know her better?” Ramsey asked.
I shook my head, not sure of the answer.
“There’s this dating app,” Daniel said. “Works wonders for finding someone.”
The other men groaned.
“Book Boyfriends Wanted?” I asked.
Daniel nodded, and the others shook their heads.
“What’s wrong?”
Daniel chuckled. “The app has a crazy way of pairing up people that are meant to be. We’ve all fallen victim to it.”
“You all met your wives and girlfriends on there?” I asked them.
Every single one of them nodded.
“I thought you and Melody went to high school together,” I asked Ramsey.
“We did. And we were separated and heading for divorce when we were paired on that app. Got us talking again and brought us back together,” Ramsey said.
“Damn. I didn’t know that.”
Ramsey shrugged. “Not something I advertise that I fucked up my marriage and almost lost the woman I love.”
“Understood,” I said, seeing the pain in his gaze.
“If you want to forget Natalie, sign up for the app. It’ll find you someone else. Maybe someone who doesn’t have you so twisted up,” James said.
I nodded, thinking about ThisIsAwkward. Maybe it was time to ask her to meet. To stop worrying about if she was someone I knew and take the leap.
After all, if she could get me to stop obsessing over Natalie Edwards, it was worth it to risk feeling foolish with another woman.
By the time I got home, I was talking myself out of reaching out to ThisIsAwkward. We’d been talking for a while, and if the guys were right, maybe she was the right one. The one who would put my focus back where it belonged on the campaign and not on the summer camp director who made my life and brain a scrambled mess.
BigCityConvert
How is your week?
Yeah, not a great opening, but it was better than blurting out that I wanted to meet her.
I put my phone away and got ready for bed, hoping I would get a message back and could work meeting in person into the conversation.
I crawled into bed and checked my phone and saw a reply.
ThisIsAwkward
Busy. A lot going on at work. How is yours?
BigCityConvert
Same. Work sometimes invades my personal time and makes things harder.
ThisIsAwkward
I know what you mean. My roommate works most weekends, and sometimes I help her out. During the week I have a fairly normal schedule, but there have been more times lately I’ve been doing things off-hours.
BigCityConvert
Maybe you could make time this weekend for us to get together. Actually meet in person.
I stared at the screen for an abnormally long time, waiting for her to reply. But she didn’t.
I finally gave up and put my phone away, hoping she would answer eventually. In all our conversations, she came across as someone who didn’t run away from their feelings, but someone who had big ones. And meeting in person could lead to some big feelings.
I was definitely feeling some.
But hopefully, she was open to the idea.
I waited over an hour for her to say something, but she never did. If I was going to get any sleep, I needed to turn my phone off and ignore the fears racing around that she had no interest in getting together. She was one woman. If it didn’t work out, it was okay.
The next morning, after a crappy night of sleep, I forced myself not to check my phone before I was ready for the day. I was drinking my coffee when I finally gave in and looked at my phone. I had an answer.
ThisIsAwkward
My roommate told me this means it’s time to put up or shut up. I guess I have to say yes.
BigCityConvert
You don’t have to do anything. I didn’t mean to make you feel that way.
ThisIsAwkward
I don’t have a great track record with dating.
BigCityConvert
I’d argue no one does. Success means you don’t do it anymore.
ThisIsAwkward
Well, can’t argue with that.
BigCityConvert
I like talking to you. I think you’re someone I would enjoy talking to in person, too. But if you’re not interested, I understand.
ThisIsAwkward
It’s not that. This is why I struggle. I don’t express myself well. Especially when I have to say or do something quickly. I like this because I can slow down and think and delete messages a dozen times before I send them.
BigCityConvert
There’s nothing wrong with that.
ThisIsAwkward
Until we’re sitting across from each other and you expect me to keep up my side of the conversation and I say something stupid and you decide I’m not worth the effort.
BigCityConvert
That doesn’t sound hypothetical.
ThisIsAwkward
It’s not. It’s happened. Nearly every time I’ve met someone.
BigCityConvert
What if I tell you something no one else knows? Something that might make you feel better?
ThisIsAwkward
It would have to be really good to make me think you’re not going to walk out on me as soon as I sit down.
BigCityConvert
First, that’s horrible. Second, trust me when I say I’m taking a risk, too.
ThisIsAwkward
Okay. Lay it on me.
BigCityConvert
I’ve never felt like I fit in wherever I am. As a kid, I was a nerd and spent all my time studying. When I got married, my ex was outgoing and flashy and dragged me along. After our divorce, I moved here and never made connections to a lot of people. Where I’m at now, I think that’s going to end up hurting my future, but I don’t like people who are fake. Who do things for the wrong reasons. I’m trying to get to know people, but I don’t think people see me for me.
ThisIsAwkward
Well, damn. You went deep. Thank you. And I’m sorry. I understand, though. I have the same struggles. I think a lot more people do than you realize.
BigCityConvert
Maybe.
ThisIsAwkward
Do you still want to meet?
BigCityConvert
Are you saying that was a big enough confession to get you to agree?
ThisIsAwkward
Yes, it was.
BigCityConvert
How about tomorrow night? You pick the place. Wherever you would feel comfortable.
ThisIsAwkward
There’s a bar in MacKellar Cove. O’Kelley’s. Have you ever been?
BigCityConvert
Yeah, I know it.
ThisIsAwkward
What time?
BigCityConvert
Five?
ThisIsAwkward
I’ll be there.
BigCityConvert
I’m looking forward to it.
ThisIsAwkward
I’ll try. By then I might panic and not come.
BigCityConvert
Should we meet tonight?
ThisIsAwkward
Oh, I’m not sure I can do that.
BigCityConvert
When would be best for you?
ThisIsAwkward
Is this because you really want to meet me or because you’re trying to end things?
BigCityConvert
I really want to meet you.
ThisIsAwkward
Okay. Tomorrow at five.
BigCityConvert
See you then.
She signed off the app, and I smiled. I was meeting ThisIsAwkward in less than twenty-four hours.
And putting Natalie Edwards out of my mind.
I changed my clothes three times before I walked out the door for my date. I debated what car to drive, but decided to take my Camaro, knowing if things didn’t go well I’d want to take a drive.
O’Kelley’s was busy but not crowded, which was good. It would get busier later, but for dinner it wasn’t too bad. Even better, I didn’t recognize anyone there except Hudson behind the bar.
“Omar,” Hudson said as I approached him. “Nice to see you twice in less than a week.”
“You, too.”
“What can I get you?”
“A beer, please.”
“Dinner?” He poured my beer, the same one he gave me two nights earlier, and set it in front of me.
I glanced at the door and down at my phone. “I’m not sure yet.”
Hudson’s brows jumped almost high enough to vanish under the snapback of his blue ball cap. “You’re meeting someone.”
It wasn’t a question, but I nodded the confirmation anyway.
“You took our advice and signed up for Book Boyfriends Wanted.”
I shook my head. “I signed up a while ago. But I did take your advice and asked the woman I’ve been talking to to meet me.”
“And you chose here?”
“No, she did. Speaks volumes to who you are and the way people trust you.”
Hudson chuckled. “I’ve accepted my position. It used to piss me off when the women would meet their dates here, but I realized the same thing you said and decided I’d rather have them come here than risk something happening because I ran them off.”
“That’s admirable of you.”
He snorted. “Not really. Got my ass handed to me when Finley and Trent met up in here. She didn’t know who he was, and when she got pregnant, she was pissed that I didn’t give her a head’s up.”
“Ouch,” I said with a wince.
“It all worked out in the end. She got her happily ever after.”
“She’s a close friend of yours?”
Hudson nodded, a smile softening his features. “She is. Has been forever. And my wife works for her now, so we spend a lot of time with them. Finley changed Trent in all the ways he needed to change.”
“I can’t say I’ve met him more than a handful of times.”
“He’ll be here this Thursday if you’re available again. Although I imagine it depends on how tonight goes.”
I laughed. “Doubtful about that one. At this point, I’m hoping she shows up.” I checked my phone again. She was five minutes late.
“Did she give you any indication of what she’d be wearing so you would know who she is?”
“No. Should she have?”
Hudson shook his head at me like I was a fool. “Usually the guy does that. So she can duck out if she doesn’t feel safe.”
“Dammit. I suck at dating.”
“We all do.”
I unlocked my phone and opened the app while Hudson walked away to help another customer. I sent ThisIsAwkward a message telling her what I was wearing and that I was at the bar when she arrived.
I resisted the urge to ask if she was still coming. Something told me calling her out on being late would not go over well.
I sipped my beer slowly while I waited for someone to show up. A few times, the door opened, and I held my breath, but no one sat next to me. I refused to watch the door in case she walked in and decided to walk right back out again without approaching me.
After thirty minutes, I decided I’d give her another fifteen minutes, then I’d leave. If she changed her mind, I’d be upset, but she was allowed. If she didn’t, and something happened, I had to be reasonable. I didn’t know much about her, and she could have had an emergency.
The door opened at thirty-nine minutes late, and I took a sip of my beer. Hudson smiled at whoever walked in. He glanced my way, then smirked.
My entire body stiffened. She was there. And debating. But she showed.
For a minute, I waited, straining to hear anything in the bar. Pool balls clacked together, people talked, music played. And then I felt her behind me.
She slid onto the stool next to me, the scent of strawberries hitting me before I glanced over.
“Natalie?” I blurted.
“Oh, no.”
“What are you doing here?”
She made a move to get off the stool. “This was a bad idea. I knew it was a bad idea. I never should have come here.”
“Are you ThisIsAwkward?” I blurted.
She froze. Realization slammed her eyes closed. She shook her head, a breath of a laugh escaping from her nose. “Wow.”
“Is that a yes?”
She opened her hazel eyes and looked straight at me. “Yeah. Which means you’re…”
“BigCityConvert,” I said, knowing the confirmation was easier with me revealing information.
“Of course you are.”
“And you’re not happy.”
“Are you, Mr. Mayor?”
“I asked you to call me Omar.”
“Why? We both know this isn’t going to work. I never should have come here. I knew I shouldn’t have come. Hell, that’s why I’m late.”
“You didn’t want to come?”
“These things always go poorly for me. Men take one look at me and decide I’m not who they were hoping would show up. I’m…” She sucked in a sharp breath. “I’m not the same person.”
“Someone else was messaging me?”
“No! That’s not… That’s not what I meant. I meant I’m not quick on my feet. I’m not beautiful and fun and outgoing and all the things men want in a woman. I’m… well, I’m awkward.”
“And that means you can’t date?”
“No, it means no one wants to date me. And you already know all those things about me, so I know you don’t have to stick around and find them out. Have a good night, Mr. Mayor.”
“Natalie, wait!”
“Isn’t that interesting,” a man said from not far away. “And here I thought that was a one-time thing between you two.”
I looked at him and found the photographer from the night months ago. The man who refused to bury the picture he took of Natalie and I. “What the hell do you want?”
He smirked. “Not a thing. Have a good night, Mr. Mayor.”
“That didn’t go well,” Hudson said, pulling my attention from the man.
I looked back, and the man was gone. “Do you know who that was?”
“Uh, Natalie?” Hudson said.
“No. The man…” I shook my head. “Never mind.”
“You want that dinner now?”
“Yeah, I might as well. Since I don’t have a date tonight.”
“Sorry, man. I thought for sure when she walked in it was going to be a good thing.”
“Wasn’t meant to be.”