Chapter 11
11
“Was he your date last night?” Daisy asked, digging the hole I wanted out of even deeper.
I wanted to bolt. Just get the hell out of there and not have to tell any of them anything.
But the looks on their faces were warm and open, not judging or snarling. They were curious, but they weren’t looking at me like I was not worthy of Mayor Knight.
Not like I looked at myself.
“Yes,” I confessed.
“I thought you said he wasn’t who you thought he was,” Daisy continued.
So much for thinking my best friend in the world was on my side. “He wasn’t. He’s the freaking mayor of MacKellar Cove. He’s my boss’s boss. And he’s perfect.”
“Perfect doesn’t exist,” Daisy said, throwing my words in my face.
I glared at my best friend. “It does when we’re talking about Mayor Knight. He never has anything bad said about him. Everyone loves him. He’s exactly what everyone wants. All of you have been talking about how amazing he is. That’s not someone I should date. It would never work.”
“Why not?” Finley asked.
I gawked at her. She didn’t get it. She was married to a man who owned half the town, and her family was adored and connected. “We’re not the same.”
Finley shook her head. “Neither are Trent and me. He’s town royalty. Everyone knows him and wants something from him. When I found out who he was, I felt the same way you are right now. Except I was pregnant with his kid and he accused me of trying to trap him and get his money.”
“You would never do that,” I gasped.
Finley nodded. “I know, but Trent didn’t know me when we met. We were paired on Book Boyfriends Wanted, had a one-night stand, and I got pregnant. I never thought I’d see him again, but it felt wrong to not find him. It wasn’t easy to get to where we are now, but we are proof people who don’t think they should go together can work.”
“You’re different, though. You’re friendly and talkative. People like you. I’m none of those things.” I pushed my hair out of my face and fought the urge to let my emotions get to me.
“People like you, Natalie,” Blake said. “You don’t give yourself enough credit. Not all of us can be outgoing and talkative, but that doesn’t mean you’re not friendly.”
“People don’t see me that. People would only see me and Mayor Knight and wonder what in the world he could possibly see in me,” I said, feeling the panic rising up.
“I think you’re wrong. I think people will accept that there are always things about others we don’t understand or know. I’m divorced, but Patrick saw through my past and wanted me. Omar was told I wasn’t doing my job and should be fired, but he saw past Mayor Levine’s hatred and sexism and looked at who I am. Unless he was cruel to you, I see no reason why you should stay away from him,” Goldie said, her face open and curious, waiting for my answer.
I shook my head. “He wasn’t cruel. I didn’t give him a chance to be. I walked out.”
“You walked out? Before you even talked to him?” Elise asked. “I get that, but it’s harsh.”
“No,” I said. “I talked to him, but when I saw it was him, I left.”
“Ouch,” Karissa said.
“I did that to Colin,” Elise said. “We were matched, and we had already met and he scared me. I knew he had the power to make me better. To pull me in and make me want things I didn’t think I deserved back then. I was not ready to accept that love was in the cards for me. And he made it obvious that he would challenge that. So, I ran.”
“What happened?” I asked.
Elise shrugged, a grin lifting her lips. “He didn’t give up. He knew we were meant to be before I even accepted he was someone I could trust.”
“That’s not going to happen for me.” I took a bite of my cake, feeling both better and worse.
“Has he reached out since last night?” Elise asked.
I shook my head. “I haven’t looked at the app, but I’m sure he hasn’t.”
“Check now,” Goldie said. “Just to see.”
I rolled my eyes and grabbed my phone from my handbag. I was sure there would be nothing and I could get back to my cake. Better to get it over with and go back to what I knew.
Mayor Knight was not going to be right for me.
I opened the app and gasped. I had thirteen notifications. It could have been anything, but I opened the messaging section and saw all of them were from him.
BigCityConvert
I wish you hadn’t run out on me. I promised I wouldn’t do that to you. I should have asked you to make the same promise.
My cheeks heated at his words. He was right. I was worried he would meet me and leave, but I was the one who did that.
I pressed my hand to my mouth and kept reading.
BigCityConvert
I’m sorry you were disappointed it was me. I was not disappointed.
I was disappointed you left. I enjoyed talking to you.
Maybe this is better. Talking on here. What do you think?
I guess not.
I looked at the times. The last message came this morning. The others were from the night before. He reached out right after I left, and I ignored him all night, but he kept trying.
BigCityConvert
I wish you’d give me another chance. I don’t know why you thought meeting was such a bad idea, but I’m happy I met you.
I’m the only one. I am happy you showed up, even late. I was looking forward to sitting across a table from you and seeing the smile I always imagined on your face.
Now that I think about it, I feel like I should have known who you were. I was drawn to you in person, too.
Again, I’m the only one. But for the record, you are beautiful and fun and all the things I want in a woman. Awkward doesn’t scare me off. It’s in your name. I expected it. But I wasn’t scared by it.
Dating is never easy, and anyone who isn’t interested in you is a fool.
But if you’re not interested in dating, or in dating me, then I don’t know why I’m pushing. You made it clear how you feel.
I was not disappointed when I saw you. I’m sorry you were.
I won’t keep bothering you. I hope you find someone else you are excited about meeting one day. Goodbye.
“Did he message you?” Daisy asked.
I nodded, tearing my gaze from the messages. “Thirteen times.”
“What did he say?” Goldie asked.
I could feel the collective intake of breath. I could feel their anxiety and curiosity. I hated that I was going to crush their hopes, the hopes I also felt, stronger than the other emotions.
“He said goodbye,” I whispered.
“He what? Just goodbye?” Elise blurted. “What a jerk?”
I shook my head and put my phone away. “He didn’t start with that. He started with wanting to talk, but when I didn’t answer, he ended with goodbye.”
“So there’s a chance. If he messaged you, he’s interested,” Daisy said, forever the optimist.
“No,” I said. “It’s not worth it. It’s for the best that he’s going to walk away. We’re not right for each other.”
“I think you’re wrong,” Elise said. “But I also know you need to get there on your own. What I will say is I’m sorry for whatever made you think you’re not good enough for him. I hope you find a way to heal from that.”
I gasped, meeting her gaze and hating that she was able to see through me so easily.
“What are you talking about? What is she talking about?” Daisy asked.
“It was a long time ago,” I admitted.
“But it obviously still hurts,” Elise countered.
I drew a breath and let it out slowly. “My high school crush was the class president. He was popular and funny and every girl in school wanted to date him. For some reason, he liked me.”
“You never told me this,” Daisy whispered.
I breathed a laugh. “It’s not easy to talk about my first heartbreak. But Tony was it. He was my lab partner in chemistry. Too nice to argue or say anything about not wanting to be my partner. We got to know each other, studied together, and became friends. He asked me to prom. It was like a dream. I never thought a boy like him would want me.”
“What happened?” Elise asked.
I shrugged. “It wasn’t that bad.”
“But something happened.” Blake was sure of it.
I nodded. “We went to the dance and this girl who liked Tony got him out on the dance floor. Was all over him. She was pretty and thin and popular like he was. He didn’t push her off or tell her he was with me, just kept dancing with her. After half the night, he found me and said he was going to spend the rest of the night with her. That she wanted to dance and they were having fun and I was just sitting on the side.”
“What a jerk,” Goldie breathed.
“He wasn’t wrong,” I argued.
“No, but you were sitting out because he didn’t make an effort to include you. He pushed you aside, then blamed you for it,” Elise said. “What’s his last name? I’ll go hunt him down.”
I chuckled. “He’s not worth it.”
“But you are,” Elise said, her voice full of conviction. “You are worth it, Natalie. Teenage you was worth it. He was a fool for not seeing that. And so is Mayor Knight if he can’t tell who you are.”
“But—”
“No,” Daisy said before I could argue. “Don’t you dare speak poorly of my best friend. You have always been quiet and you figure things out inside before you tell others. That doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. It’s just who you are. And finding someone who appreciates that is a good thing. Maybe it’s the mayor, maybe it’s not, but you have to stop hiding and believing some high school jackass was right. You are amazing, Natalie. And you need to trust that.”
I looked around at the women I wanted to be friends with but was afraid to let in. None of them had ever been nasty to me or said anything mean about anyone. They were kind and friendly and the kind of people I always wanted as friends.
“Thank you,” I whispered.
“You’re welcome,” Daisy said.
I smiled at her, then lifted my gaze to the others. “Thank you to all of you. For accepting me.”
“We will always accept you,” Elise said. “None of us are perfect, but we’re pretty perfect together. And we’re happy to call you two our friends, too.”
“Thank you.”
“Now, what are you going to say when you apologize to Mayor Knight?” Elise asked.
I laughed. Then listened to all of their advice.
Monday morning was slow. Painfully slow. I was tired from thinking about what I should say to Mayor Knight when I saw him again. If I saw him.
Perspective was tough because it made me wonder if I was wrong about him. What if I hadn’t walked out? What would he have said? Was he serious in the messages he sent afterward about not being disappointed?
I owed him an apology, if nothing else. I didn’t like it, but that didn’t matter. He was right, and I asked him not to walk out as soon as he saw who I was, then I did it to him.
Amelia stuck her head into my office a little before lunch and asked, “Do you want to go grab something to eat? I’m dragging and need to get out of here for a little while.”
“Same. You pick.”
She smiled and went back to her office.
I grabbed my coat and made my way out of my office. She was waiting at the door for me, keys in her hand.
We were both quiet on the short drive into town. Amelia circled the blocks around Catherine Park before she found a spot near Cove Bakery.
“We need to stop in there before we go back to the office. I can smell the sugar from here,” Amelia said, pocketing her keys and heading toward Cracked.
We turned the corner and had Cracked in our sights when someone stepped in front of us. He was in a suit and had a microphone with a cameraman right behind him.
“We’re with channel six news, interviewing residents. Can you give us a comment about the allegations against Mayor Knight?”
Amelia stopped and glared at the man.
To his credit, he blanched but recovered quickly.
“What allegations?” Amelia demanded.
“An article came out this morning stating Mayor Knight is not good for this town. There was a picture of him caught in a compromising position with a woman on her knees at a local bar. And there are questions about his use of town funds.”
My cheeks burned, and I turned my head. He had to be talking about the night I fell and grabbed Mayor Knight. The night I was on my knees in front of the mayor at O’Kelley’s.
“Mayor Knight is the best thing that’s happened to this town in a very long time. I’ve been a resident here my entire life, and Mayor Knight is professional and understanding and he is a huge supporter of the community. He would never do any of the things you’re saying,” Amelia said, standing tall and proud.
“You work at the community center, right?” the reporter asked.
“I do. I run it.”
“It stands to reason you would support the mayor when the funds that are in question are going to pay for the new summer camp. I’m not sure your word is going to sway voters.”
Amelia closed her mouth, looking unsure.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” I growled. “Mayor Knight wants the best for this town. He’s worked hard to make sure the town is thriving. Mayor Knight has done everything to support initiatives to improve the town, to build tourism back up. If you’re calling his character into question, it’s because you’re grasping at straws to find fault with the man. You’re here to stir up trouble where there isn’t any. Maybe you should go find a real story instead of trying to bury a man who has no skeletons in his closet.”
“Are you sure about that?” the reporter asked me, a smirk lifting his lips. “He’s divorced. He has no ties to the community. Why would he be here? Why would he want to run this little town if he wasn’t getting something for it?”
“He is getting something for it,” I continued. “Personal satisfaction. Pride in his community and staff. Knowledge that he’s making a difference. He’s making MacKellar Cove better. His personal history has nothing to do with his capabilities as the mayor. He’s intelligent and compassionate. He sees this town for what it could be, instead of letting toxic garbage like you drag us down. Why shouldn’t he be investing town funds into the new summer camp? If he was only interested in himself, he’d be using that money to give himself a raise instead of trying to help the working families of MacKellar Cove. The parents who either have to quit their jobs for the summer to take care of their children or who need to rely on family and friends to do so. I’m failing to see why this is a bad thing. Except that you want to bury the man. A man who is so much better than you that you don’t deserve to even speak his name.”
Amelia slid her arm through mine and tugged me toward the restaurant. “If you’ll excuse us, we have somewhere else to be.”
I wanted to keep fighting with the jerk reporter, but I finally looked around and saw he wasn’t the only one there. A dozen people had gathered and were filming me. Some had phones, but other news stations had arrived.
“How much did they get?” I whispered to Amelia as we walked into Cracked.
“All of it. You were amazing.”
If only I felt amazing. Instead, I felt like it was one more piece of evidence I was all wrong for Mayor Knight.