Chapter 11
Ifelt her need for me in the way her body surged into mine, even as I sensed her hesitation under my lips, and both set my blood on fire. Her hands flew to my chest, searing my mutilated skin right through the thin material of my black dress shirt. Her fingers curled into fists, gripping my shirt to keep me close as she tried to push me away, her lips parting on a moan of denial as she let me in.
A shudder ran through my body. It had been so long since I tasted her.
I wanted to rip off our clothes and bury myself so deep inside her she would taste it when I came. But now was not the time or the place.
With a ragged groan, I bit her bottom lip in frustration, the coppery taste of her blood sweet on my tongue as I allowed her to push me away.
My lungs ached for air as Luna broke the kiss and backed away from me, her blue eyes wide with hunger and uncertainty. The rise and fall of her chest matched my own ragged breaths, and I could sense the war raging within her—the desire to give in to me battling against her instinct to flee—because it matched my own.
I took a step toward her, my body drawn to hers, craving her touch, her taste, her everything. But I forced myself to stop, to remain still, though every fiber of my being screamed at me to close the distance between us and claim what was mine.
I watched as she gingerly touched the wound on her lip, her eyes wide in disbelief as she stared down at the drops of blood.
Without a second thought, I reached out and took her hand in mine, drawing her fingers to my mouth. Slowly, deliberately, I sucked each one clean, savoring the taste of her. The near animalistic urge to claim her, to make her mine, surged through me once more. I wanted nothing more than to crush my lips against hers again, to devour her until there was nothing but my name on her tongue.
But when I bent to take her mouth again, she jerked her hand from my grip and put more distance between us. ”Stop.”
I hesitated, but only for a moment.
”NO,” she said, turning her face away.
I drew back, my eyes devouring her perfect features.
”I”m not coming with you,” she told me. ”If that”s why you”re here. I”m not going back to that cell, Tristan.”
”Luna…” Instead of what I was about to say, my fists tightened at my sides.
Isn”t this what you want? For your life to go back to normal?
Yes.
NO.
I need to let her go. As soon as her brother is able, they”ll be gone, and I”ll never have to see her again.
But she”s MINE.
”What”s between us is…” She looked around, trying to find the words in the paintings hanging on the wall. ”It”s powerful,” she finally finished. ”And I know I was the first person you”d ever been with freely, so I”m sure for you it seems like no one else will ever be able to take my place, but there are a lot of other women out there, Tristan, who would happily cut off their arm to be with a man like you and live in this world.”
”I don”t want someone else. I want you. It”s only you, Luna.” My voice was strained as the truth forced its way out. This world, my world, wasn”t safe for her, and she was right; she”d be better off without me. But I would never want another woman.
She shook her head vehemently, then lifted her chin. ”No, Tristan. I know what you want, and it”s not happening. I”m staying here with Logan. And when he”s well enough to leave and Gino has been taken care of, I”m going with my brother.” She glanced toward the dining room where the meeting was finishing up.
I cocked my head. ”Do you think they will stop me? Do you think anyone here will stop me if I throw you over my shoulder and take you with me?”
”No,” she conceded after a pause. ”But I”m asking you not to. I don”t want to be in your prison. I don”t want to be with you.”
She was lying. At least about the second part. She did want to be with me. She loved it when I fucked her.
Even knowing it wasn”t true, hearing her say those words felt like she was twisting a knife in my gut. After all this time, and everything that had happened between us, she still saw me as nothing but her captor.
As she backed away, I stalked after her, matching every step. But I couldn”t have said if it was to throw her against the wall and kiss her until she admitted to her lies, or to throw her out of the house and force myself to forget she ever existed.
Before I could reach her, the dining room doors swung open, and the capos strode out, their faces grim. Despite what I”d just told her, I froze, not wanting to make a scene where I”d have to explain myself or my actions to them.
Luna seized the opportunity to dart back into Logan”s room.
Instinctually, I moved to go after her, but Luca suddenly appeared in front of me. ”Tristan, let her go to her brother,” he ordered. ”Tristan.”
His tone had a sharp edge to it, demanding my full attention, and I responded automatically, forcing my eyes from the doorway where she”d disappeared. I met his stern gaze, noting the hint of warning there, the silent command to let Luna be for now. With every cell in my body screaming at me not to allow her to leave my sight, I battled the overwhelming compulsion to chase after her. But I couldn”t disobey him, especially not in front of the other capos.
Luca met my gaze unflinchingly. ”She”ll be safe here. I swear it to you. Right now, I need you to go with Enzo.”
Letting Luna out of my sight went against every instinct I had. And a part of me—the part that was raised on brutality and molded by violence—wanted to reach out and seize control of everything around me. To tear apart anyone who stood between me and Luna with my bare hands, if necessary. Including Luca.
The other part wished I”d never gone to her window.
I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. My mind told me that Luna was safer here at Luca”s than she would be at my house. Though I had my cell and I preferred her contained, the lake house boasted a safe room downstairs that was practically a fortress. Built into the side of the cliff, it was virtually impenetrable to any outside threats. If anything happened, she”d be protected by layers of steel and concrete. No one would be able to get to her.
Still, that knowledge did little to soothe the clawing unease in my gut at letting her out of my sight, even for a moment. Every instinct roared at me to keep her close, to not let her stray from my watchful gaze. Gritting my teeth and curling my hands into fists, I fought the overwhelming urge to go after her, but in the end, my training overrode my own needs.
With a snarl of frustration, I stalked off, my body burning with lust, and a deep ache in my chest.
Enzo waited for me near the front door, and I headed toward him, my palms damp and my mind reeling. The taste of Luna”s blood lingered on my tongue, and I could still feel the silk of her hair in my hands.
He studied me as I approached. ”You good, T?”
I nodded once. ”Where are we going?”
”We”re gonna go hit a few places. See if anyone”s seen Gino. And there”s a pickup tonight Luca wants us to be there for.”
I nodded, following him outside. The crisp air did little to soothe the fire burning inside of me or calm the buzzing in my veins.
Enzo interrupted my thoughts of Luna. ”Before we leave, I have to ask. If we happen to find Gino, and it”s just you and me, are you gonna be okay with that?”
Looking up from the ground, I found him directly in front of me where he”d stopped near the passenger side door of my SUV. ”I think so.” It was the best I could give him.
I felt him studying me through the dark lenses of his glasses. ”If we do happen to get a lead, and if for any reason at all your head”s not in the game, you need to tell me. Comprendere?”
He was right. Only two people in this world were capable of throwing me off balance, and Gino was one of them. ”I will,” I promised.
His hard stare burned through me, and then he opened the door and got in.
I slid into the driver”s seat, trying to shove my encounter with Luna into a tiny compartment of my mind where I could pull it out and relive it later. Right now, I needed to have my head on straight like Enzo said. Gino was out there somewhere, and I needed to find him, and I couldn”t let him get to me. I couldn”t endanger Enzo”s life like that.
Funny how I was willing enough to obey Luca”s orders to let Gino live when it was just about me. By the time I was put into Luca”s service, the sight of Gino had barely gotten a reaction out of me. And the more time that went on, the more confident I felt that he couldn”t touch me anymore. I”d taken my memories from my time with him and shoved them so deep it was like it never happened. At least, until something triggered me. But now that Luna was involved…yeah, I didn”t know that it would be a good thing if I found him first this time.
As I pulled out of the driveway, Enzo glanced over at me. ”You sure you”re good, T?”
I nodded, my grip tightening on the steering wheel. ”I”m fine.”
But I wasn”t fine. Not really. Luna”s words kept echoing in my head.
I don”t want to be with you.
I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts.
”Seriously, T, you can turn around. You don”t have to do this right now. I can take one of the other guys.”
”I said I”m good.”
I could tell he didn”t believe me, but he didn”t push the matter any farther.
I pulled onto the road, my mind a tangled mess. Part of me wanted to turn the car around, march back into that house, and take Luna with me, consequences be damned. But the rational part of my brain knew I couldn”t do that. Not now. I had a job to do.
But I felt like I was being torn in two, caught between my duty and my desire. Between what I knew I had to do and what every fiber of my being was screaming at me to do. And I didn”t know how much longer I could keep fighting it.
And as we drove on into the night, I couldn”t shake the feeling that everything was about to change. That the fragile balance I”d been clinging to was about to shatter into a million pieces.
And I didn”t know if I”d be able to put myself back together again.