Chapter 10 #2
“A mistress could warm my bed and make me happy, but I wouldn’t hold her heart.
That’s what I want, Athena. I want you to love me as much as I love you.
I want…” His hand closed around hers, where it rested against his chest. “I want you in my bed, yes, but I also want you at my breakfast table. I want to read the newspaper with you and argue about coal prices or mining practices or the latest translation of Homer or—or any of the thousands of things you have opinions about.”
Suddenly, he sat up, dragging her with him and turning her until he could grasp her upper arms and stare into her eyes.
“I want to raise our sons together. I want to stroll into church with you on my arm, looking magnificent, with them behind us, whispering up shenanigans when we’re not looking.
I want to take them swimming and fishing and riding with you.
I want you to help make Cashard a home, not just a house, Athena.
” His grip tightened as his voice rose. “I want you to make it your home. I want you to have the chance to snub society and Callan’s father as a duchess.
I want you to have access to whatever resources for charitable works you’d like, even though I know you’d rather be with our sons, loving them. I want…”
All the fight seemed to go out of him, and he slumped, his hands falling from her arms to rest against her hands in her lap.
His chin dropped, and he muttered, “I want you, Athena Oliphant. I want to spend the rest of my life loving you.”
It was…
That was…
Athena gaped at him.
That had been the most perfect speech she’d ever heard—could ever have imagined hearing. It was so perfect, her brain couldn’t seem to make sense of it, and so it latched onto one of the last things he’d said.
Numbly, she realized her mouth was moving. “I have always thought it would be nice to have an organization to help other women who were left in my situation, so they did not have to make a choice they would regret later in life.”
Seriously? Of everything she could’ve said, that’s what came out?
But he didn’t seem to mind. When he lifted his face, his eyes were full of hope.
“Then do it,” he whispered, squeezing her hands gently. “Duchesses can do anything.”
Just like dukes. Her lips quirked. “I dinnae like Society.”
That was an understatement.
“Neither do I.” His reply was immediate. “I’d be content to stay in the country, traveling only to London on occasion when duty—or my mother—demands.” He hesitated. “However, we might have to host the occasional house party.”
She frowned, hating the idea of inviting Society into her home—was she already thinking of Cashard as her home? Nay!—to gawk at her. “What kind of house parties?”
His lips curled upward. “The kind of parties where you invite your friends and brothers every summer for a reunion.”
Damnation. He knew the way to her heart.
He knew her heart.
She blinked and straightened.
Cash knew her heart.
Wide-eyed, she realized she was already leaning toward him. “Ye really do love me, Cash?”
“With all my heart.” His voice softened as his fingers rose to caress her cheek.
“These last days, without you…” He shook his head ruefully.
“I believe I was in love with you before that afternoon at the inn, you know. But when I learned who you really were, I stubbornly pushed you aside, believing I knew the way things should be. But I realize now I was being just as judgmental as Society has always been. I love you, Athena Oliphant, and I want to keep on loving you for the rest of my life. Not as my mistress, or some other temporary arrangement. I want you to stand up in front of your friends and family and swear that you’ll be mine forever. ”
Oh.
Oh dear. She was crying, wasn’t she?
Although he’d gone all blurry, Athena was able to lift her hand to cup his cheek. “And ye will be mine forever?”
She saw him smile. “Is that a yes?”
Instead of answering—not sure she could form the words—she tugged him closer, and he came willingly. When his lips closed over hers, it was like coming home. He tasted of mint and her tears, and something undefinable. Familiar. Perfect.
He tasted of forever.
With a little groan of need, he pulled her closer, sliding her onto his lap. She went willingly, twining her arms around his neck and failing in her attempt to retain a smidge of awareness. They were sitting in their sons’ fort, for God’s sake, and any minute—
His hand closed around her breast, hidden beneath her corset, and she moaned as all objections fled her mind. Instinctively, her pelvis arched against his hardness, as if meeting an old friend, and the desire she felt for him, which always flickered not far beneath the surface, burst into flames.
As his lips traveled across her jaw to that sensitive spot beneath her ear, Athena tilted her head back with a sigh. Her eyes were closed, and she accepted the truth.
She loved this man.
She loved this man, and she trusted him enough to spend a lifetime loving him.
“Athena,” he whispered against her skin, his breath causing her to shiver. “Athena, love…”
“Aye,” she groaned, her fingers twining in the hairs at the base of his skull, and her knees falling open instinctively. “Please.”
His grip shifted, moving her in his lap until his hardness pressed against her hip, and his other hand cupped her arse. She was prepared to attempt to make love to him in this cramped space—
The knock on the door had them both jerk in surprise.
Cash slammed the back of his head against the shelf again, then muttered a curse. “What?” he barked, as Athena did her best to regain control of her breathing.
The knocker hesitated, then spoke. “Father? Ma’am?”
“Matthew,” Athena whispered, meeting Cash’s eyes in time to see him wince.
Had it been ten minutes?
Her entire life had changed in only ten minutes.
Dinnae be stupid. Ye have loved him for far longer.
Aye, but she didn’t know he loved her.
With a sigh, Cash began to set her gown to rights. “I don’t suppose we could plan an assignation to continue this later?” he whispered to her with a naughty wink.
Delighted, she squirmed against his arousal. “I believe I could find time to sneak away to The Sword and Sheath again.”
They were both trying to keep their voices low.
His forehead dropped to hers as he exhaled. “I was wondering if you might consider accepting the Countess’s invitation to stay here at Dumpkins for the remainder of the summer. Your father could come too.”
She grinned. “Move Callan into the nursery with Matthew, and shock the hell out of all of proper Society? I wonder if there is an open chamber available for me?”
“There’s one right beside mine. My mother and sister are on one side, but the elderly couple who were on the other side of my chamber had to return home early in the summer, leaving it empty for you.
” When he chuckled, his warm breath washed over her, calming her heartbeat.
“We could find a way to sneak you next door. And during the afternoons, when I don’t have to work… ”
“Ye could join us in the nursery?”
“And beside the river.” He smiled crookedly. “I find I prefer being Cash and Athena to being the Duke of Cashard and his…” His gaze flicked over her as his smile grew. “Lady Love.”
She was about to respond, to tell him she much preferred him as a man than a duke, when the pounding came at the door again.
“Mama! Did ye spank him?”
When Cash’s gaze grew speculative, and he raised a challenging brow, Athena had to smirk and look away.
“Not too horribly, son,” Cash called out, his voice as even as he could make it, despite the laughter she heard lurking. “I believe I’ll survive.”
There were more whispers, and then the lock snicked.
Athena was trying to push herself off his lap when the door was yanked open, and she froze, realizing she’d look more guilty for trying to change positions.
When Matthew’s gaze landed on her, with his father’s arms still around her, his brows went up. Callan stepped into the tight space, his gaze landing on far more important things.
“There’s still trifle left, Matthew! Good thing we got extra spoons!
” Beaming, he plopped himself down on a pillow beside Athena—and the trifle—and reached into his pocket for a big spoon.
“I didnae want to steal spoons at all, because I think trifle’s more fun to eat with yer hands, but Matthew said we had to leave some for ye.
” He waved the spoon enthusiastically enough that Athena ducked away from it.
“So I nicked us some spoons so we could eat some too!”
Smiling, Athena reached for his hand, trying to calm the frantic motions in the tight space. “I think that is a lovely idea, Callan. Far better than trying to eat with our hands.”
“I told him that’s unhygienic,” Matthew intoned, sinking to his knees on the pile of pillows, and eyeing the trifle speculatively himself.
“Did you tell him he also need not steal spoons?” Cash asked, laughter in his voice. “Someone would have gladly handed them over.”
When Matthew sighed and nodded, Athena could very much see the resemblance to his sire. “He says it’s more fun to filch things than ask permission.”
“I suppose that would explain this room?” Cash asked.
Matthew glanced at Callan, then met his father’s gaze firmly. Since Athena was still sitting in Cash’s lap, she was met with the lad’s seriousness head-on.
“I’m sorry for filching things, Father,” Matthew said, his shoulders back, accepting his faults like a little gentleman. “It was Callan’s idea, but I—I liked it. I’ve never had a fort before, and it sounded so grand when he proposed it, and…and I wanted to have fun.”
He dropped his chin, and Athena felt Cash’s sigh against the back of her neck. She knew what he was thinking, because she was thinking it as well.
“Oh, Matthew.” She slid from Cash’s lap, but instead of moving beside him, reached instead for his son’s hands. It resulted in her lying half-across the man she loved, half-reclined on a set of pillows, but staring into Matthew’s serious gaze.