Chapter 52 Sienna
SIENNA
“I am not getting my daughter a pet wolf.”
I grinned as Matteo crossed the patio towards Clementine, Vovchyk, and me. Clementine let out a happy squeal and reached her arms out to her dad. Matteo wasted no time picking her up in his arms and cuddling her to his chest.
“You would say no to this cutie pie?” I squished Clem’s adorable little cheek.
“Yes,” he said, but it sounded a lot like no. “What are you smiling at?” he asked gruffly.
“Just you being Mr. Super Dad. It makes me happy. Papà would be proud.”
I expected a smart-ass response, but Matteo’s expression sobered. “Do you really think so?”
My eyebrows knit together at the uncertainty in his voice. “Of course, I do. You’re an amazing dad.”
He stared across the garden as he gently bounced Clementine, a tender hand cupping the back of her head. Her little hand gripped his sweater tight like she knew this was the safest place she could ever be.
“What’s going on?” I asked softly.
The silence stretched between us, and I was sure he would change the subject, but then he spoke. “I knew at the time that I was failing you, but it wasn’t until I had Clem that I realized how much.”
“What do you mean?”
His eyes locked on my face and I inhaled sharply at the raw pain I saw there.
“I told myself that winning back my empire was the best thing I could do for you because it would keep you safe. But I think back on how young you were and how alone you must have felt after they died. The thought of Clementine growing up without Sofiya or me...” He cleared his throat, a scowl replacing the sadness in his expression. “Not that I would ever allow that.”
“Sometimes bad things just happen. You can’t control everything, Matteo.”
“Neither can you, Sienna.”
I cocked my head. “What do you mean?”
“In those early days, after we escaped, you woke up screaming every night. I sat by your bed as you told me over and over that I should have saved them instead of you.”
“What? I don’t remember that.”
“You never remembered in the morning, and I thought it was better that way. When you stopped waking in the middle of the night, I was relieved. But now I wonder if the nightmares actually stopped or if you just stopped screaming.”
I bit my lip. While I didn’t remember much from those early years, I knew the nightmares continued for years. My memories were of waking up alone, silent tears streaming down my face...although, maybe it hadn’t always been that way.
“You sat by my bed?”
“Of course, I did.” His tone carried the terse grumpiness he always used to cover how much he cared.
My hand went to my chest, pressing tight as one of the bleeding cuts on my mangled heart slowly stitched together. I hadn’t always been alone. My brother has been with me.
I swallowed down the lump in my throat. “You were in an impossible position. You were forced to be a brother, father, and Don overnight.”
He nodded slowly. “You’re right. I couldn’t do all three. I had to prioritize. But I want you to know that if I could do it over again, I would choose differently.”
My lower lip trembled and it was my turn to look away. When Matteo wrapped his arm around my shoulders, a sob shook my chest.
“It might be too late, but I hope you know that my family comes first for me, now and always. Ti voglio bene, Sienna.”
I let myself relax into his chest and hugged him back. Clementine snuggled close, her eyelids drooping as she tried to stay awake. “I love you, too, Matteo.”
The sound of the patio doors opening made us separate. We exchanged an awkward smile before turning to whoever had saved us from sappiness overload.
Sofiya, Noodle, and Dimitri were making their way to us. Sofiya was using her rollator, and Dimitri was hovering around her to make sure she didn’t fall. Matteo was by her side in a flash.
“It’s slippery, tesoro. I can carry you or Dimitri could go get your wheelchair.”
I snorted at Matteo’s blatant attempt to get rid of his brother-in-law.
“I think I’ll survive the blizzard,” Sofiya said dryly as she pushed her rollator through the one inch of snow accumulation. “I want to be a part of this wolf and baby photo shoot.”
“Oh, we should totally take some family pictures,” I said. “Everyone come over here.” I gestured to where Vovchyk was sitting like the good boy he was.
“Yes, family pictures! We need to get one of Noodle and his new BFF.”
Noodle was focused on Sofiya as she crossed the patio, but I suspected his furiously wagging tail had something to do with his close proximity to Vovk.
“Family pictures include you, Dimi,” Sofiya said over her shoulder. I bit my lip to stop from laughing because Dimitri’s hand was on the doorknob like he was trying to make an escape.
“Mamama,” Clementine said, holding her little hands out towards Sofiya, who froze.
“Did she just say...”
“Mamama!” Clementine repeated, this time with a distinct sassiness.
“Oh my god! She said mama! I win!” Sofiya squealed. “Come here, dochenka. Mama is so proud of you.”
Clem had said her first word a few weeks ago, but to both her parents’ great despair, it had been Loodle. Matteo and Sofiya had been battling it out for second place after Noodle ever since.
“We can’t be sure that’s what she said,” Matteo said with a scowl. “Did you mean to say papà, piccolina? Papà.”
“Oh, I think she spoke perfectly,” I said with a laugh.
My hand went to my belly. What would my girl’s first word be?
I glanced over at Dimitri to catch him looking at me.
This was my first time seeing him since I’d left him last night after his nightmare.
My heart had broken to see him suffering like that, but I was proud that I’d stuck up for myself.
I deserved a love like Matteo had for Sofiya. ..and Noodle had for Vovchyk.
The entire time we took photos, Dimitri kept his eyes on me, only looking away when forced. I stayed focused on Vovchyk and Clem, but I couldn’t avoid that there was something haunting in his gaze. Something like longing.