Chapter 32
AMBER
Roman returned in time to have dinner with me.
Even though I knew he was clearly very busy—on my behalf—I liked that I could still see him and have a chance to talk to him again.
I was desperate to hear what he thought of me now, because I hoped I wasn’t getting too far ahead of myself in assuming he’d want nothing to do with me after knowing about my secrets.
Since I opened up and shared about my past, I warred with worrying if he’d judge me. If he’d hate me for bringing my problems to his doorstep.
Sofia told me that was nonsense. She’d come over around lunchtime to visit. When she came in and immediately hugged me, not just a greeting kind of hug but a deep clutch for comfort, I knew she knew.
“They, um. They told you?” I guessed awkwardly.
I felt raw when I realized that they’d all know. Natalie, Claire, Anya. Even the guards and drivers who were supposed to blend into the background. That they would look at me as damaged and used.
“Andre told me. And he said that Roman thought you could benefit from not being alone today. To not dwell and be stuck in your head about everything.”
I laughed lightly. “He knows me well.”
She gave me a somber smile as she set Esme down.
The sweet girl was napping peacefully in her carrier that Sofia unclicked from the stroller.
“And now I hope I’ll have a chance to get to know you more too.
” She admitted that she’d noticed how nervous I seemed at times.
But before I could be more embarrassed about how they’d all been able to read me so well, she distracted me with how she had become part of this family.
It seemed that now that the cat was out of the bag, it was understood that I knew they were a Mafia family. Sofia took advantage of that, seeming to feel like she didn’t have to watch what she said. Because she shared—in detail—how she’d come to Andre’s building and then how she became his wife.
“So no, you’ve seriously got no room to worry about bringing danger to their doorstep. You didn’t even know who they were. You weren’t trying to con them. Unlike me.” She laughed lightly with a sarcastic wince. “If I could be forgiven and accepted, you will be too.”
Hours passed in her company. Anya came over for a while, too, and I wasn’t as worried then that she knew about my secret.
No judgment came from them, and I was so grateful for that.
But I could still only worry about what Roman would say when he came home. If his uncle would want to risk his men or resources over me. If I would be doomed to fear William forever.
That was why when Roman and I sat for dinner with the twins happily babbling and playing with their beginner finger food while they were strapped into their highchairs, I wasn’t sure what to say. What I could ask.
The second we made eye contact, though, he sighed and spoke. He really did know me that well, able to intuit when I was struggling to open my mouth.
“Mikhail received word from Niko Popov that William insists on your return.”
Well, that summed it up so far. I hung my head and groaned.
When I looked up, Roman’s smug grin confused me.
“That’s not good,” I replied warily.
He shrugged. “What’s even worse is the IRS being tipped off to audit him. To thoroughly audit him.”
I gaped at him. “You… You can do that?”
“To start with. Money goes a long way. Tracking it is a hell of a way to point fingers. We have connections all through the city to be able to do that and much more.” He set his hand on mine and squeezed it.
“While it would be much more satisfying to kill him slowly, I’ll need to settle for other ways to bring him down. ”
“Will having him audited work? He’s got to have so much money from all he did with the Popovs and that trafficking ring. Because now I can tell that’s what they were always doing with those drugged women…”
He nodded. “It is a start. He’ll soon realize that nowhere will be safe from us. And sooner or later, we’ll apply pressure so that the Popovs will think twice about protecting him.”
“Wow.” I blinked. “I’m… speechless.”
“I’m relieved that we have a start. And that we’ll make more progress yet. It’s only the beginning, Amber. The beginning of his end.”
I sat there, staring at my plate. He’d stunned me. Blown my mind. This was all I’d ever dreamed of. All I’d ever wanted—to be spared Willam’s abuse and control.
It almost seemed too good to be true, surreal and just a dream.
“Amber?”
I whipped my head to face him. “Hmm?”
He smiled and pointed his fork at my plate. “Eat.”
“I’m not sure I can. I’m so shocked and in awe and overwhelmed that this is happening. And—”
“Eat,” he reminded me again. “You’ll need your strength.”
I frowned but picked up my fork. “For what?”
“For me to show you all night long that you belong to me. No one else.”
Shivers raced over my skin at the possessive hunger on his tone. “You mean…”
“All. Night. Long.” He gave me a slow once-over, dragging his hungry gaze over all he could see of me while seated next to him at the table.
My jaw dropped again. “Wait. You mean you don’t see me as damaged? And you actually… still want me after what I told you?”
He replied by leaning over and kissing me deeply. I tasted the wine on his lips, the heat of his desire. Right when I sagged against him, breathless for more, he pulled back.
“You are not damaged. You are too good for me—”
“Too good for you?” I exclaimed incredulously.
He kissed me hard again. “You are too good for me, Amber. And I will always want you to choose me as your future. I’ll always feel like the luckiest man alive that you choose to have me in your life.”
This time, I kissed him, hungry to prove that I chose him every second of the day.
Straddling him, I gave up on eating any dinner.
His dick pushed at my core. His hands clutched my back and ass.
And if I had any more common sense, I would have stopped to realize I was grinding him at the dinner table we shared with his twins.
He caught his breath, watching me with fire blazing in his eyes. “Please tell me Emily and Henry will be tired and go to bed soon.”
Hearing the ragged need in his voice turned me on more.
I glanced at them. “I think they could be persuaded and encouraged to go to bed as soon as we clean up from dinner.”
And that was what we did. We hurried to clear the table and bathe the twins.
We both read them a story and rocked with them, and I swore that only made me want him more.
Seeing this sexy single daddy, this powerful Mafia man, being so sweet and soft with his babies cracked my heart wide open with love.
I set Emily down first since she fell asleep before her brother. As I made to leave the nursery while Roman held and rocked a slowly blinking and sleepy-faced Henry, he grabbed my hand and squeezed it. “Do not think about sleeping,” he mouthed.
I smiled shyly and left. By the time I reached his room and toed my slippers off, he was there, wrapping his arms around my waist from behind me and kissing my neck.
“Roman…” I sighed his name, closing my eyes as he guided me toward the bed.
“Say it again.” He tugged my shirt off, still walking me forward. “Say it like that.”
I spun, picking my arms up to link them around his neck, relishing the hot touch of his chest against my bare breasts. I’d skipped a bra. It seemed he had started to unbutton his shirt as he’d walked in here behind me after he’d put his son down to bed.
“Roman,” I whispered against his lips before kissing him soundly.
He parted his lips to let my tongue in, and I moaned as he sucked on it, teasing me into being insane for him.
My nipples ached for his touch, already so raw from the friction of his hard chest rubbing against them.
Slick cream dripped between my legs, my arousal so sticky and slippery on my thighs.
He growled into my mouth as he stole my breath. Between his continued guidance back toward the bed and the speed with which he yanked at our clothes, I felt like I was being thrust under a spell. Carried out of reality and all the problems in the present until I could simply be with him.
To feel all of him, the hardness of his naked body and he brought me to bed. All the fierce need in his grip as he grabbed my ass or rolled my nipples with his fingers or stroked his dick over my opening.
“Roman…” I whined as he lowered me to the mattress. “I need you…”
I felt his grin against my mouth as we rolled. Like this, he stretched out on the bed, his dick jutting up and pointing at me. I climbed up him, marveling at how he wanted me, despite all I’d told him. Despite…
“Amber.” He sat up, pulling me over his dick. “Don’t. Don’t do that.”
I furrowed my brow.
“Don’t think that what happened to you changes you into someone I wouldn’t want.” He stroked his dick and took my hand to put it on him. “Does this feel like I don’t want you?”
I shook my head, watching my fingers wrap around the thick girth.
“Does this feel like I don’t need you?” he asked as he thrust up.
I shook my head again.
“Then believe in this.” He cupped my face as I lined up his dick to take him deep inside.
“Believe in us.” He gritted his teeth as I slowly sank down on him. All the way. Every long, hard inch of him rubbing my inner walls. The stretch gave me a familiar twinge of discomfort that quickly morphed into liquid pleasure.
“Oh, Roman…” I closed my eyes as I accepted his embrace. He sat up with me on top of him, and just holding me close healed the broken pieces of my soul.
“You believe in us. You and me. Right here.”
I nodded, moving my head to kiss him. As I rode him, lifting up and slowly seating myself again, I relished the secure loop of his arms banded around me. The deep push of his dick up in my pussy. Every part of this man accepting me for the flawed mess that I was.
“Come for me, Amber,” he said between greedy kisses as I bounced on him. “Come for me.”
His voice was the cue. Just hearing him tell me to give in, to cave, and to let go was the trick that I needed.
But as I shattered and my orgasm hit me with all the intensity that this man could invoke, I closed my eyes and knew it was no trick.
There was no manipulation or conquest happening here between us.
And it wasn’t just sex. It hadn’t been. While I endured wave after wave of pleasure, quivering as he thrust up hard one more time to shoot his hot cum into me, I wondered if it had ever been only sex. If what we’d been doing all these months was nothing but a physical thing.
Because as we caught our breath and he held me close to him, I felt in my heart that I had a different perspective of how this was going.
I love you.
The bare truth blossomed in my mind, growing faster and taking root, but I kept it to myself.
I fostered the possibility that this wasn’t only scratching an itch but something so, so much more.
Like love.
A real, lasting commitment neither of us would be able to abandon, regardless of what obstacles and dangers awaited for us.
I love you, Roman…
And I prayed that he might love me someday too.