18~Words like therapy #2
"You do."
"Why did you leave home?" Nanny Ann asked quietly. "Why did you refuse to answer our calls?"
"Do you know how worried Abdul and I were?"
"We searched for you everywhere."
"And yet... you shut us out as though we meant nothing."
Tears welled up in Hanan's eyes.
"I know."
"I've behaved terribly."
"I cut both of you off without giving either of you a chance to explain."
"No excuse can justify that."
"I'm truly sorry."
Nanny Ann smiled faintly. "I stopped being angry the moment I found you in that rain."
A relieved smile appeared on Hanan's face. "Thank you."
After a brief silence, Nanny Ann spoke again.
"Trust Abdul."
Hanan lowered her head. "But, Nanny Ann..."
"No."
"Hear me out first."
She held Hanan's hand firmly.
"Abdul never wanted to hurt you."
"When everyone else turned their backs on you, who stood beside you?"
"He did."
"He gave you a home."
"He gave you a family."
"He protected you."
"Not because he had to,but because he loves you."
"He sees you as his blood sister."
Fresh tears rolled down Hanan's cheeks. "I know."
"I'm not reminding you of these things to make him look like a hero." Nanny Ann sighed.
"I'm reminding you only because I don't want you to forget who has always been by your side in tough times."
"If he's asking you to let go of revenge..."
"Then trust that he has his reasons."
"One day you'll understand."
She gently pointed toward the framed photograph hanging above the bed.
"Look at your mother."
Hanan lifted her eyes.
Her mother's smiling face stared lovingly back at her.
A bittersweet smile tugged at her lips.
"She loved you more than anything, didn't she?"
"She did."
"Then answer me honestly."
"Do you think she would be happy seeing her daughter consumed by anger and revenge?"
"The kind little girl she raised..."
"The girl whose laughter and smile could light up the world..."
"Has now become someone carrying nothing but hatred."
Hanan couldn't answer.
Nanny Ann continued gently.
"Do you know what revenge does?"
Hanan shook her head.
"It promises satisfaction."
"But most of the time, it leaves you feeling emptier than before."
"It darkens your heart until you barely recognize yourself."
"Hanan." She continued softly. "I don't know everything the Qur'an teaches, but I do know this, you believe in a God who sees every injustice."
"So trust Him."
"You don't have to force yourself to forgive anyone today."
"That will come when your heart is ready."
"But don't let revenge become your reason for living."
"It's changing you."
"And I'm afraid you'll lose yourself before you ever find peace."
She squeezed Hanan's hand.
"Sometimes..."
"The greatest revenge isn't destroying the people who hurt you."
"It's allowing God to rebuild you into someone they can never destroy again."
Silence filled the room.
Then...
"You're right." Hanan whispered smiling through the tears gathering in her eyes.
"I finally understand. I've been carrying this anger and hatred for so long that I forgot how to live, I don't even know who I am anymore."
Nanny Ann smiled warmly. "I've talked enough for one night."
She stood up.
"Think about everything I've said."
"I hope you'll let your heart reflect on it."
Hanan rose from the bed and hugged her tightly once again.
This time...
She didn't hold back.
All the pain.
All the loneliness.
All the disappointment she buried for years came pouring out in uncontrollable sobs.
Nanny Ann simply held her.
She didn't interrupt.
She just let Hanan cry.
When the tears finally subsided, Nanny Ann gently wiped her face.
"There..."
"My poor girl."
"Look at your eyes."
"They're all swollen."
"No more crying tonight."
"Get some sleep."
Hanan managed a small smile.
"Thank you, and I don't know why..."
"But your words feel like medicine, like therapy... I'll try and let go, I really will."
"I know you will." Nanny Ann smiled lovingly kissing her forehead.
"And promise me something."
"What?"
"Never run away from home again."
Hanan smiled through her tears. "I promise."
"Good, sleep well."
She tucked the blanket around Hanan, switched off the light, and quietly walked out of the room.
For the first time in a very long while...
Nanny Ann smiled wholeheartedly as she closed the door.
Hanan was finally home.
"Najib?" Nanny Ann called softly as she stepped into the sitting room to switch off the lights. She froze when she found him still seated.
"You're still here? I thought you had gone home."
"I wanted to make sure she was asleep first."
"Oh, Najib." Nanny Ann smiled warmly.
"That wasn't necessary. She's asleep now, and I did as you asked. I didn't tell her the truth, but I tried to make her understand that revenge isn't the answer."
"Thank you, Nanny Ann." He smiled gratefully. "I appreciate everything you've done. I'll be leaving now."
As he reached for the door, she stopped him.
"Najib."
He turned around.
"Yes?"
"If you don't mind me asking... why did you stop me from telling her the truth? This was the perfect opportunity for her to know everything, that you're innocent."
Najib lowered his gaze before answering.
"It would have been the perfect time if she was mentally ready."
He sighed heavily.
"You saw what happened tonight. The mere sight of my car sent her into a panic. If I didn't disguise myself in Abdul's clothes, she would've recognized me immediately. The trauma is still there, Nanny Ann. The fear, the pain... she's still living with it."
He paused.
"And besides... what proof do we have? Even if we tell her I'm innocent, why would she believe us? Words alone won't erase three years of hatred."
"We do have proof." Nanny Ann said. "Musa confessed. If we find him, he'll tell her everything."
"I will find him." Najib nodded firmly.
"But until then... let her hate me."
His voice was quiet, almost a whisper.
"Because even if I'm innocent of trying to kill her and killing our child... I'm not innocent of everything else."
He laughed bitterly.
"I was a terrible husband. I never gave her the love or respect she deserved. I cheated on her. I failed her in every possible way."
He swallowed hard.
"So if hating me helps her heal... then I'll accept it. Maybe it's the punishment I deserve."
Nanny Ann studied him for a long moment before nodding.
"I understand."
"I've already explained everything to Abdul." Najib continued. "Please... just make sure she doesn't leave home again."
"I will."
"Good night."
"Good night."
It was already two in the morning, yet sleep refused to visit Hanan.
She lay awake, staring blankly at the ceiling, replaying everything that had happened over the past few days.
For the first time in years, she stopped thinking about revenge and started thinking about herself.
She remembered the cheerful, soft hearted girl she used to be.
Somewhere along the way...
She had lost her.
A tear escaped the corner of her eye.
"I want to be happy again." She whispered with a faint smile.
Her gaze shifted to the phone charging beside her bed.
"I need to meet Faruk tomorrow."
She unplugged the charger.
100%
A small smile crossed her lips as she typed a message.
Let's meet at the mall cafe tomorrow by 10 a.m.
She pressed Send, then hugged her pillow tightly.
For the first time in a very long while...
She wanted to look forward, to her future instead of dwelling in the past.
.
.
.
***