19~Youll end up breaking your own heart
"What would you like to have for breakfast?" Nanny Ann asked as soon as Hanan finished her morning supplication.
"Good morning." Hanan smiled, completely ignoring the question. She looked surprised to see Nanny Ann standing in her room.
She glanced at the wall clock, then back at Nanny Ann.
"It's only five in the morning." She frowned. "You should still be asleep."
"I know." Nanny Ann smiled. "I just wanted to know what you would like for breakfast so I could start preparing it."
"You make it sound like you're cooking for an entire community." Hanan chuckled. "Don't worry about me. Go back to bed. You barely got any sleep because of me last night."
"I'll sleep later. This morning, I have to go to the market for monthly household shopping..."
"And somehow you still found time to think about me?" Hanan interrupted with a warm smile. "Really, don't bother. I'll make my own breakfast."
She paused before adding,
"And I'll also be going out by ten."
"To where?" Nanny Ann asked curiously.
"My apartment."
"You're leaving home again?" Nanny Ann blurted out before Hanan could explain.
"No." Hanan shook her head with a reassuring smile. "I'm only going there to pack my things and settle a few important matters."
Nanny Ann studied her for a brief moment before nodding.
"Alright. I trust you'll come back."
"I will."
"Good." Nanny Ann smiled. "Now stop chasing me back to bed."
"I mean it." Hanan laughed. "Go and get some rest."
"Bossy girl." Nanny Ann teased with a shake of her head before leaving the room.
Once Nanny Ann left, Hanan raised her hands in prayer.
Silently, she asked Allah to bless the decision she had made and grant her the peace and happiness she longed for.
She knew it wouldn't be easy to bury the painful memories of her past, especially those of Little Me, but she was determined to stop letting them define her. It was time to protect the relationships she still had and begin building a happier life for herself.
With a quiet "Ameen." She ended her prayer and folded her prayer mat.
She then knelt beside her bed and pulled out a worn scrap box hidden underneath.
It was more than just a box.
It held fragments of her life.
Memories of her mother.
Memories of Little Me.
Memories of Habiba, her true identity, the identity she was finally ready to embrace again.
She picked up the glittering red Abaya Faruk gifted her the previous evening.
Running her fingers across the expensive fabric, she smiled faintly before carefully folding it and placing it inside the box.
From now on, it too would become a memory too.
After everything Fatuk's father had said, she couldn't allow herself to become the reason Faruk's family fall apart.
Closing the lid, she slid the box back beneath the bed.
"It's a gift." She murmured to herself. "Returning it would be rude. I'll just keep it."
She climbed back onto the bed, her thoughts drifting to Faruk.
Ending their friendship wouldn't be easy, but she believed it was the right thing to do.
Maybe I don't deserve good friends.
The thought lingered in her mind.
Jamila, her childhood friend, their friendship ended after she left the village over three years ago.
Then Amira... her best friend since freshman year, who had now blocked and unfollowed her on every social media platform.
A bitter smile crossed her lips.
"No..."
She shook her head slowly recalling what she said the night they broke up.
"I take that back."
"I don't deserve Amira."
The morning sky was bright and cloudless.
Birds chirped cheerfully outside while the distant sounds of Lagos traffic slowly filled the air.
"Hanan."
A gentle tap on her shoulder stirred her awake.
"Hmm..." She mumbled sleepily, rubbing her eyes.
Nanny Ann smiled.
"I'm leaving for the market now. Your breakfast is on the dining table. Make sure you eat before you go out."
"Okay." Hanan yawned. "Thank you. Safe trip."
She rolled over, ready to return to sleep.
"Aren't you supposed to be going out today?" Nanny Ann asked.
"I am." Hanan frowned. "Why?"
"Because it's almost ten o'clock."
She pointed toward the wall clock.
Hanan followed her finger.
"What?!" She gasped, rushing out of bed.
"I overslept!"
"You better get ready." Nanny Ann chuckled before waving.
"Bye."
"Bye!"
Without wasting another second, Hanan rushed into the bathroom.
A warm shower later, she dressed for the day and made her way to the dining room.
The moment she saw the table, she froze.
"Nanny Ann made all of this?" She asked in disbelief.
"Yes, ma'am." Samira replied with a smile.
"You didn't tell her what you wanted for breakfast, so she decided to prepare a little of everything."
Hanan stared at the feast before her and sighed.
"I can't possibly finish all this."
She took her seat, smiling to herself as warmth filled her heart.
An idea suddenly crossed her mind.
"Samira."
"Yes?"
"Please bring me a food basket and a few food flasks."
Samira nodded.
"Okay."
A few minutes later, the two of them carefully packed the extra food together before Hanan prepared to leave.
It was exactly 10:30 am when Hanan arrived at the mall.
She looked around the cafe, searching for Faruk, and within seconds, she spotted him waving at her.
A small smile tugged at her lips as she walked over, placing the food basket on the table before taking the seat opposite him.
"Hanan..." Faruk sighed the moment she sat down. "I'm really sorry about last night. I had no idea my dad invited Najib, and I should never have let you leave alone."
The apology tumbled out without pause.
Hanan could see the guilt written all over his face.
"It's alright." She smiled gently. "If anyone should apologize, it should be me. I caused chaos in your home."
"You didn't."
"I did."
She sighed.
"But thanks to you, I got home safely."
Faruk lowered his gaze.
"I'm still embarrassed you had to witness all that."
"It's okay."
An awkward silence settled between them.
"So..." Faruk cleared his throat. "Why are we meeting here instead of the office? You haven't even resumed work yet."
"About that..." Hanan said softly.
She began unpacking the food basket.
"Let's eat first."
Faruk watched curiously.
"I've moved out of your apartment and returned home." She added. "Thank you for letting me stay there. I'll always be grateful."
He smiled faintly.
"I'm actually glad you decided to go back home."
He helped her arrange the food on the table before chuckling.
"Why is there enough food to feed a community? Did you cook all this?"
Hanan laughed.
"No. Nanny Ann did."
"I thought to share it with the biggest foodie I know."
Faruk grinned. "I'll gladly accept that title."
Soon, they began eating.
Hanan watched him enjoy every bite.
At least... She'll leave him with one pleasant memory.
Quietly, she reached into her bag and slid a brown envelope across the table.
Faruk frowned.
"What's this?"
He opened it.
The smile on his face disappeared instantly.
His eyes slowly lifted to hers.
"Why?"
"My resignation letter." She sighed.
"I see, you... resigned?"
She nodded calmly. "I think it's for the best."
"For the best?" He stared at her in disbelief. "Quitting your job is the best decision?"
"As long as I work at your company, your father and Najib will continue making decisions about my life."
She paused.
"And I don't want revenge anymore."
Faruk blinked. "What?"
"I said I don't want revenge anymore."
He stared at her for several seconds before shaking his head.
"You're joking."
"I'm not."
"After everything Najib did to you... you're just going to let it go?"
"I'm not forgiving him."
She met his eyes.
"I just want to be happy again."
Her voice softened.
"I want to be kind to myself. I want to stop carrying anger and hatred everywhere I go. I've spent years living for revenge."
She smiled sadly.
"I forgot how to live for myself."
Faruk remained silent.
"I understand you want peace." He finally said. "But what does resigning have to do with that? Becoming a lawyer has always been your dream."
"It still is."
"Then why throw it away?"
"I'm not throwing it away."
She inhaled deeply.
"I want to earn it on my own merit, not because someone opened a door for me."
Faruk immediately stood up.
"Fine."
He stretched out his hand.
"Then we'll start over. You'll apply like everyone else and earn your place fairly."
Hanan didn't move.
"I don't want to work for your company anymore."
The words landed heavily between them.
"Your dad made it clear he doesn't want us involved with each other."
She lowered her eyes.
"And Najib..."
She laughed bitterly.
"He's using you to get close to me."
"I won't let that happen." Faruk's voice became firm. "I promise."
She slowly shook her head.
"It's too late."
Then she whispered the words she had been dreading.
"I don't just want to leave the company."
"I also want to end our friendship."
Faruk froze. "What?"
"I think it's best."
"No..."
Disbelief clouded his face.
"Our friendship is the only thing we have Hanan."
"I'm sorry."
She packed the empty dishes back into the basket before placing a bunch of keys on the table.
"Your house keys."
She stood.
"You should have them back."
Faruk stared at the keys before anger flashed across his face.
"Did my father threaten you?!"
He slammed his fist against the table making Hanan flinch.
"Was it Najib?!"
Heads immediately turned toward them.
"Faruk..." Hanan whispered nervously.
Without another word, he grabbed her wrist and led her out of the cafe into a quiet corner of the mall.
Only then did he release her.
He gently held both her arms.
"Hanan."
His voice was almost pleading.
"Why are you pushing me away?"
"Have I done something wrong again?"
She slowly shook her head.
"No."
"Then why?"
She couldn't meet his eyes.
"I don't want your family falling apart because of me."
Her voice trembled.
"I've spent years thinking only about my own pain."
She looked down.
"I never stopped to think how it could affect people close to me, I've been selfish."
"Then keep being selfish."
Faruk lifted her chin until she looked at him.
"I don't care."
"I do."
"I don't."
His grip tightened slightly.
"If being with you costs me everything..."
He smiled sadly.
"So be it."
"I just want us to remain friends."
Hanan's heart clenched.
"It's not that simple."
"It is."
"No, it isn't."
"Then, I don't want to understand."
His eyes searched hers.
"Hanan..."
"I've never introduced any woman to my family before."
"I came back to Nigeria because of you."
"I was even willing to let my father disown me because of you."
He paused.
His jaw tightened.
"And yesterday..."
He took a slow breath.
"I told my parents you were my girlfriend."
Hanan's heartbeat skipped.
She remembered hearing those words during the argument.
At that time, she had dismissed them as something he said in the heat of the moment.
But now...
The look in his eyes...
Did he mean every word?
She instinctively tried to pull away, but Faruk held on.
"Faruk..."
Her voice barely rose above a whisper.
He looked at her with frustration and pain.
"Don't you still see it?" His face hardened.
"See what?" Hanan frowned.
"Why are you suddenly acting so dense?" Faruk whispered, frustration creeping into his voice as he searched her puzzled expression.
"Huh?" Hanan frowned. "Faruk... please let me go."
She bit her lower lip, trying to steady herself as she gently struggled against his grip.
The moment Faruk saw her nervous gesture, something inside him snapped.
Before he could think better of it, he cupped her face.
His gaze lingered on her lips.
Slowly, he leaned in.
Before Hanan could react, his lips crashed against hers.
The kiss was desperate...
Driven by emotions he had buried for too long.
The kind of kiss that was so intense that made Hanan almost unable to breathe and think.
Hanan froze in shock, her mind going completely blank.
Then reality hits her like a slap.
With all the strength she could muster, she shoved him away.
"You..."
Her eyes widened in disbelief.
"Have you lost your mind?!"
Faruk stared at her, equally stunned by what he just did.
"Hanan... I..."
"What was that?!" She snapped, pointing a trembling finger at him.
"What gave you the right to kiss me without my consent?!"
Her voice shook with anger.
"Do I look that easy to you?!"
"Am I some kind of toy you can touch whenever you feel like it?!"
"Hanan, I'm sorry." His voice was barely above a whisper. "I don't know what came over me."
He instinctively stepped toward her.
She immediately stepped back.
"Don't."
The single word stopped him in his tracks.
She let out a bitter laugh.
"You and Najib..."
She shook her head in disappointment.
"You both are the same, you think you can touch me whenever and however you want."
Faruk lowered his eyes, shame washing over him.
"I'm sorry." He repeated quietly. "I was wrong."
Hanan looked at him for a long moment.
Then she spoke calmly.
"Don't be delusional."
"You'll only end up breaking your own heart."
Without another glance, she turned and walked away, leaving Faruk standing alone, drowning in regret.
.
.
.
***
A/N