45~NaHabiba
"If a next life truly exists... I pray we never cross paths again Faruk, because pain is all I'm capable of giving you. Nothing else."
With trembling fingers, Hanan penned those words beneath Faruk's final message before folding the letter one last time.
She struck a match.
The edge of the paper caught fire almost instantly.
The flames slowly devoured every word until the letter burnt into black ashes.
Amira, who had also read the letter after Hanan handed it to her, advised her to burn it.
"Keeping it won't do you any good." She told her. "It will only become a painful reminder of everything that happened... and of the incident that led to Faruk's death."
"Faruk is history now." Amira murmured as she walked over to Hanan, who stood quietly watching the flames inside the waste bin.
"I know you're blaming yourself." she sighed gently. "But none of this is your fault."
Hanan only smiled faintly.
She wished believing those words was as easy as hearing them.
"I understand how you feel." Amira continued after noticing the heavy silence hovering over Hanan.
"It's normal to be sad."
She rested a comforting hand on her shoulder.
"But your sadness isn't going to bring him back... is it?"
Hanan slowly shook her head. "No."
"Good." Amira offered her a reassuring smile.
"You're allowed to grieve."
She paused before adding softly.
"But don't let grief consume you."
"From tomorrow onward... let's leave Faruk behind, okay?"
"Okay."
"May Allah grant him peace."
"Ameen."
The two friends embraced briefly before a sudden knock interrupted the moment.
The door opened almost immediately.
"Hi."
Abdul stepped into the room with a small wave.
"Good evening, Abdul." Amira greeted with a smile.
"Good evening." He smiled back. "It's nice seeing you around."
"I had to come." She sighed, glancing toward Hanan.
"After everything that happened... and Faruk's death."
"Thank you." Abdul nodded appreciatively. "That was thoughtful of you."
"And... I'm sorry for your loss too. He was your friend."
"He was." Amira lowered her gaze.
"His death still feels unreal."
"It's shocking..."
"And heartbreaking."
"May Allah forgive him and grant him Jannah." Abdul said quietly before his eyes drifted toward Hanan's gloomy expression.
"Amira..."
He hesitated.
"Would you mind giving us a few minutes alone?"
"Of course."
She gently squeezed Hanan's shoulder before leaving the room.
Once the door closed behind her, Abdul walked toward Hanan.
She was still staring at the ashes lying at the bottom of the waste bin.
Nothing remained of the letter now.
Only ashes...
And memories that would probably never leave her.
"You burned it?" Abdul asked quietly.
"Yes." She nodded. "I believe it was the right thing to do."
"Did you at least read it first?"
"I did." She exhaled slowly.
"It was an apology."
"He regretted everything he did."
"So that's what it contained." He nodded thoughtfully.
"Faruk also left letters for his parents."
"Oh..."
Hanan looked down.
"I wonder how they'll react after reading them."
She sighed.
"Especially now that they've lost their only child."
Abdul lowered himself into the chair beside her.
"It was heartbreaking."
"His funeral..."
He paused.
"I don't think I've ever seen so many grown men cry."
He swallowed.
"Seeing everyone weep made me realize something."
He looked at her.
"We all hated what Faruk became... But none of us hated Faruk."
Hanan nodded slowly. "I never hated him either."
"I was angry."
"Hurt."
"Disappointed."
"But I never hated him."
A tear slipped down her cheek.
"I only wish he knew that."
She closed her eyes briefly.
"Maybe... Maybe he would've chosen differently."
"Maybe he would've stayed alive..."
"If not for himself... Then at least for his parents."
She looked at Abdul.
"Did you meet them?"
"How are they coping?"
"I spoke with his father."
Abdul sighed deeply.
"He looked..."
He searched for the right words.
"Like a man whose soul had left his body."
"He could barely walk."
"He spent almost the entire funeral beside Najib."
"He never cried."
"But the pain in his eyes..."
He shook his head.
"I don't think I'll ever forget it."
"And his mother?"
"I didn't get to see her."
"But I doubt she's in any better condition."
Silence settled between them.
"They must hate me." Hanan's voice was barely audible.
Abdul frowned. "Why would you think that?"
She gave a bitter smile. "Because it's only natural."
"We had our disagreements."
"Especially Maman Faruk and I."
"Yes." He nodded.
"But somehow... I don't think they hate you."
He hesitated before continuing.
"They're holding a prayer gathering tomorrow."
He looked at her hopefully.
"Come with me."
She immediately shook her head.
"No. I can't."
"I don't have the courage to face them."
"And my presence would probably reopen their wounds."
"I don't think it would." Abdul replied gently.
"But you'll never know unless you go."
She lowered her eyes. "My instincts are telling me not to."
"I wish I had the courage... But I don't."
Abdul didn't push any further.
"It's okay."
He gave her an understanding smile.
"But if you change your mind... I'll be leaving by ten tomorrow morning."
"Thank you." She smiled weakly.
"But... I don't think I will."
He nodded. "Alright."
"Good night, Hanan."
"Good night, Abdul."
Silence returned to the room as Abdul quietly took his leave.
Morning came far too soon.
Everyone was already out of bed, beginning their day, except Hanan. She remained beneath the covers, not asleep, but staring blankly at her phone.
She had sent Najib several messages the previous night. He had read every single one of them, yet he didn't reply
"Why is he ignoring my DMs?" She mumbled.
After another moment of staring at the screen, she sighed.
"I should call him."
She tapped his contact and lifted the phone to her ear, watching the call ring... and ring... until it ended unanswered.
"It's so unlike him." She frowned. "Why isn't he picking up?"
Lost in her thoughts, she didn't even notice Amira climbing onto the bed beside her.
"Hey!" Amira nudged her shoulder. "Do you plan on staying in your pyjamas all day?"
Without waiting for an answer, she snatched Hanan's phone.
"Give it back!" Hanan exclaimed, quickly grabbing it from her.
"Sorry." Amira laughed. "Why are you so cranky this morning?"
Hanan let out a tired sigh.
"Sorry for yelling... He's not answering my calls or replying to my messages."
"Who are we talking about?"
"Najib."
"Oh." Amira nodded. "Maybe he's busy."
"Busy?" Hanan frowned. "It's Saturday, not a workday."
"He lost his cousin yesterday, you know."
"I know..." Hanan murmured. "And that's exactly why I want to hear from him. I just want to know how he's holding up."
Amira rested a comforting hand on hers.
"Maybe call him again later."
"Yeah..." Hanan nodded. "I will."
"Good. Now get up and take your bath so we can have breakfast together."
A faint smile crossed Hanan's lips.
"Okay."
She slid off the bed and was halfway to the bathroom when Amira called after her.
"Hanan!"
She turned.
"Yes?"
"Can I borrow your dress?"
Hanan blinked.
"The one you're already wearing or which one?" She asked with a chuckle, admiring how beautiful her white silk dress looked on Amira.
"I should've asked before wearing it." Amira rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly. "You were still asleep after I showered, and I needed to change. I rushed over here last night without packing any clothes, so... I borrowed yours."
Hanan smiled warmly.
"It suits you so well."
"Really?"
"Really. And you're always welcome to wear my clothes."
Amira grinned. "Thanks! Kisses, babe."
She blew her a playful kiss.
"Now hurry up. Once you're done, meet me downstairs. Nanny Ann made my favourite breakfast."
"I'll be there in a bit."
A quick shower and a change into something casual, Hanan found herself staring at her phone again.
Still nothing.
Her chest tightened.
"Please reply... I just want to know how you're doing."
She pressed send.
Just then, Nanny Ann entered the room.
"You're still here?" She asked gently. "The table is set, and everyone is waiting for you before we start breakfast."
"You don't have to wait for me." Hanan replied softly. "You all can eat."
"Aren't you hungry?"
"Not really."
Nanny Ann sighed. "You skipped dinner last night, and now you don't want breakfast too?"
"I'm just... not hungry yet. I'll eat later."
"You shouldn't starve yourself."
"I won't."
"You say that, but I know you." Nanny Ann smiled. "Come on. Let's go."
After a brief hesitation, Hanan forced a smile.
"Okay."
Together, they walked into the dining room where Abdul and Amira were already eating.
"I thought you m said you would wait for me." Hanan sighed as she pulled out the chair beside Amira.
Amira looked up with a guilty smile, her cheeks already stuffed with pancakes.
"Sorry." She shrugged dramatically. "It was already past nine, and you know I don't joke with food. Especially pancakes this good. They're irresistible."
"I'm glad you're enjoying them." Nanny Ann said proudly.
"I really am!" Amira smiled. "Your cooking is amazing. If you keep feeding me like this, I might just invade this house permanently."
"I wouldn't mind that." Hanan teased.
She glanced between Amira and Abdul before adding with a mischievous smile... "It would be even better if you invaded this house as his wife."
Amira froze.
Slowly, she turned to Hanan.
"What do you mean?" She whispered.
"I mean..." Hanan shrugged innocently. "Abdul is single. You've been single for quite some time too... unless you're hiding a new boyfriend from me?"
Amira laughed awkwardly. "No..."
"Then why not? I'm just saying you two would make a beautiful couple."
She looked toward Nanny Ann.
"Don't you think so?"
Nanny Ann smiled knowingly.
"Hmm... I do."
"You heard that." Hanan grinned.