Chapter Thirty-Three
DEE
The Next Day
Colt left early this morning for an interview. He said he’d be home by three, which gives me just enough time to pack and be gone before he walks through the door.
Last night changed something in me.
Even though I believe Colt still loves me, it’s not enough.
Not in the way we need it to be. He’ll always be torn between two worlds—one with me, the other with his son, and the family he never knew he had.
He can swear up and down that he doesn’t want Macy, but love isn’t always about want.
Sometimes, it’s about duty. About where you’re needed.
And Colt? He’s needed there.
So while he’s out smiling for cameras and answering questions, I’m making the decision for both of us. No tearful goodbyes. No dramatic speeches. Just clean lines and distance. It’s the only gift I have left to give him.
I’m doing this for him.
He won’t walk away, I know that now. He’d stay out of guilt.
Out of obligation. Out of love, yes—but a kind of love that comes with weight, not lightness.
I’ve been selfish, holding onto him when I know in my gut that his heart is pulled elsewhere.
And Colt doesn’t need one more thing pulling at him.
Caleb needs his father.
Macy needs his support.
Colt needs peace.
And I? I need to disappear so he can give all of himself to them without distraction. Without me.
Hux was right.
I’m not good for him—not anymore.
I’ve packed quietly. Just the essentials. Enough to get me through a few days at Joseph and Danny’s. They don’t know I’m coming. If they did, they’d try to talk me out of it. But they won’t turn me away when I show up on their doorstep.
I know that much.
For a moment, I consider calling Daddy. I want to hear his voice, to ground me in something that still feels real. But I know how that call will go—questions, judgment, lectures about Colt and Macy. I can’t deal with that on top of everything else. He doesn’t need to know. Not yet.
I load my luggage into the back of my car. The sight of the manor behind me makes my heart twist. I love this place—our place. But it’s no longer mine. Maybe it never really was.
They should move in. Colt, Macy, Caleb. They deserve this home now—a fresh start. I’ll find my own path. I don’t know what it looks like, but I’ll figure it out. Eventually.
The thought of the fans—of the evil minions—turns my stomach. When word gets out that I left, I know exactly how brutal they’ll be. But I don’t care. Let them come for me. The only thing I care about is making sure Colt has the freedom to be the father he was always meant to be.
I head back inside for one final walk-through. The manor is quiet. Still. I pause in the music room, letting my eyes roam across the instruments, the worn leather chairs, the mic stand Colt leans into when he rehearses.
I sit on the white sofa where I always watch them practice. My hands clutch the edge of the cushion. My chest tightens with the weight of every memory.
This band.
This house.
This life.
It was my everything.
But all fires, no matter how wild, burn out eventually.
Suddenly, my stomach turns. I scramble for the nearest trash can and barely make it in time. The bile hits my throat, hot and acidic, as I retch violently. My body shakes with the force of it, and I cough hard, spluttering as tears follow in waves.
When I’m done, I sit back on the sofa, panting. My hands shake as I press them to my stomach. Everything feels like it’s spiraling.
12GUAGE-Slayed was never just a band to me, it was a heartbeat. My tether to something bigger than myself. Loving Colt changed everything. It gave me purpose. And now, letting him go is the only way to return that gift.
He was always too good for me. Too much.
I wipe my mouth, tie up the trash bag, carry it to the kitchen, and toss it into the bin. I glance around at the mess still lingering from the night before—the broken plate, the scattered food, the remnants of a dinner meant to bring us back together.
Our love has always been passionate. Intense. But even the strongest flames can consume themselves.
Eventually, every fire dies.
I walk to the back window and stare out at the willow tree. Snow dusts its branches gently. So many memories live out there beneath those leaves and in the sway of its limbs. I rest my hand on the cold glass as a tear slides silently down my cheek.
“C’mon, Princess,” I whisper, my voice barely audible. “Time to go.”
She lifts her head and pads over to me, her tail wagging softly. I scoop her into my arms and carry her to the car, placing her carefully on the passenger seat along with her favorite bed. She settles in quickly, unaware of how final this moment feels to me.
Back inside, I head upstairs for one last goodbye.
I stop at the top of the staircase, fingers brushing my wedding and engagement rings. My breath catches as I look down at them. Symbols of everything we fought through. Everything we survived.
But I can’t wear them anymore.
Not if I’m walking away.
With shaking hands, I slide them off and place them gently on the railing. They glint in the soft light.
Simple and beautiful.
Just like the way Colt looked at me once.
My eyes sting as I turn away.
I don’t look back.
I lock the door behind me.
And I run to the car before I lose the courage to keep going.
***
The drive to London takes just over an hour and a half with the snow. By the time I pull into Joseph’s driveway, the sky is a dull gray, and my hands are stiff from gripping the wheel too tightly.
His car’s in the drive. Good, he’s home.
Princess hops out of the passenger side before I’ve even shut off the engine, trotting straight to the front door like she remembers it. I smile faintly. At least someone’s happy.
I open the trunk and pull out my suitcase, dragging it behind me before I step onto the porch.
I know exactly how this is going to go. Joseph’s going to try to talk me out of this and tell me to go back to Colt.
But I don’t care what he says as long as I have a place to stay while I figure out my next move.
The door swings open, and Princess barrels inside, tail wagging.
“Well, nice to see you too, Princess.” Joseph chuckles, then looks up, freezing when he sees me. “Jesus, Dee.” His tone shifts immediately. “What’s going on? Are you okay?”
I manage a slight nod before he steps out and pulls me into a hug.
His eyes flick down to the suitcase. “What did he do?” he asks, low and serious.
“Nothing. This was my choice. He doesn’t even know I’m gone yet.”
Joseph pulls back, brows drawn. “This about the kid? It’s too much?”
“Maybe a little,” I admit. “But it’s not about jealousy. It’s about Colt needing space to be with his family. I’ve just… been in the way.”
He shakes his head and exhales, grabbing my suitcase. “That’s a load of noble-sounding bullshit if I have ever heard it, Dee.”
“It’s not bullshit.” I step inside. “It’s clarity.”
“Is it easier for you to leave him?” he asks quietly, following me into the kitchen.
“N-no.” My voice cracks. “It’s the hardest fucking thing I’ve ever done. But I can’t hold onto him because I’m scared to be without him. That’s not love, that’s selfishness. And I’ve been selfish enough in my life.” I sink into a chair at the dining table and bury my face in my hands.
Joseph shuts the door gently behind him. “Look, Dee, I get that this hurts. I can’t pretend to understand what it’s like, especially after what you’ve already been through. But just because he has a kid doesn’t mean you’re no longer part of the picture.”
I sniff, blinking back fresh tears. “I don’t belong in his world, Joseph. I’m just… me. A nobody. Colt’s rock royalty. He deserves someone who’s always been there. Someone who knows him inside and out.”
He crosses his arms. “Someone like Macy?”
I nod.
“Well, let’s break that sentence down, shall we?” Joseph walks around and leans on the back of the chair next to me. “You said knew, not knows. Past tense. He loved her. But he married you. Not Macy. You think that means nothing?”
“It means I ruined a perfectly good family.”
“No,” Joseph snaps. “It means you became his family. And you’re running away from that.”
“All fires burn out eventually.”
He frowns. “What does that even mean?”
“It means Colt and I were intense. Passionate. But that kind of fire doesn’t last forever.”
He exhales, scrubbing a hand through his hair. “You’re talking in metaphors now? Dee, listen to me… of course, you can stay here. You always have a place here. But you’re making a huge mistake.”
“Well, I don’t particularly care what you or Danny think right now,” I mutter, regretting the words instantly.
“Hey.”
“I’m sorry.” I shake my head. “That wasn’t fair. I’m hurting. And I don’t know how to not be with him.”
Joseph softens. “We’ll figure it out.” He pulls me into another hug.
I’m exhausted.
Empty.
Broken.
I sit with Joseph for a while, filling him in on everything. Macy’s reappearance. The truth about Caleb. The quiet unraveling of my marriage.
He listens.
He doesn’t agree, I can tell, but he gets it.
Eventually, I go upstairs to the guest room and start unpacking. I’ll need to get the rest of my stuff eventually, but this will do for now. It gives Colt time to accept what’s happened. I plug in my phone charger and lie down. Princess jumps onto the bed, curling into my side.
I feel bad taking her, but I needed someone to love tonight. And she’s the only one left who hasn’t walked away or been pushed.
My phone lights up.
It’s an image of me and Colt on the screen, his name flashing. My thumb hovers over the screen…
But then I press the side button and let it ring out.
A few moments later, I hear Joseph’s cell phone ring from downstairs. He answers. I can’t hear the words, but I know it’s Colt. I know he’s asking where I am. I don’t listen. I don’t want to hear desperation in his voice, or worse, relief.