Chapter Thirty-Four
DEE
Six Days Later
My phone has been vibrating constantly.
And as twisted as it is, it’s become a strange source of comfort—proof that Colt hasn’t given up on me. Not yet. Even though I keep telling myself that pushing him away is what’s best for him, it doesn’t make it any easier. Especially not when I ache for him like this.
I finally head upstairs and crawl into the bed I know too well, it’s the same one I slept in during our last breakup. The same one I vowed never to return to.
The days blur together in a fog of silence and heartbreak. Joseph and Danny try to distract me, but I barely speak. I go through the motions. I eat a little, drink a lot of tea, and cry more than I care to admit.
And every hour, like clockwork, Colt calls.
I never answer.
But I watch the clock.
I count the minutes between each attempt, like a junkie waiting for a fix.
I don’t let Joseph or Danny know that part. They’d worry. They would try to reason with me. But there’s no reasoning with the way my heart responds to him.
I want him to move on. I need him to. I want him happy, with his son, with stability, with the life he’s been given.
Still, that small, stubborn piece of hope keeps whispering that maybe, just maybe, he’ll fight for me anyway.
By night six, I’ve reached my limit.
The calls are wearing me down.
I miss him.
I crave the sound of his voice so badly it hurts to breathe. I know if I don’t do something drastic, I’ll cave. So I unplug my phone from the charger and turn it off completely. Cold turkey. No more temptation.
But the silence that follows is unbearable.
My chest tightens.
What if he thinks I’ve given up?
What if he finally stops trying?
Panic claws up my throat.
I scramble to turn it back on. The screen lights up, and I exhale, clutching it to my chest like it’s a life preserver.
It only takes a few minutes.
His name appears.
His picture flashes across the screen.
I close my eyes and swipe to answer, but I can’t find the strength to speak.
“Dee? Baby, did you pick up?” Colt’s voice is a balm and a blade all at once. I swallow hard, blinking rapidly.
I sniff quietly, not daring to say anything. Not yet.
“Jesus, baby, it’s been nearly a week without your voice.
Without seeing you. Touching you. I miss you.
” There’s a pause, and I imagine him running his hand through his hair the way he does when he’s falling apart.
“Okay,” he says softly. “So we’re doing the silent thing again.
That’s fine. I can live with it as long as you’re there…
as long as you pick up. That will be enough for now. ”
I curl into the pillow, listening to every word like it’s the only thing holding me together.
“I’ve been miserable without you. I talked to Anna, and she told me how you felt. That you think I neglected you. That I made you feel like you didn’t matter.”
He chokes on the next breath. “I’m so fucking sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to make you feel that way. I was just… I got so caught up in Caleb, I didn’t realize what I was losing.”
My throat tightens, but I still can’t speak.
“I know I deserve your anger. I know I fucked up. But when you said you wanted me to be with my ‘family,’ that didn’t make sense to me because you are my family. You. Me. Princess. That’s all I need.” He lets out a shaky breath.
“As for Caleb, yeah… I love the kid. But if you told me to choose, if it meant getting you back, I’d give him this damn kidney and never see him again.”
My heart clenches.
“I hate coming home to an empty house. Your rings are still on the staircase. I haven’t touched them. They belong on your finger, Dee. On your hand. Nowhere else. That’s where you belong. With me.”
He pauses again, his voice lower now. “I know you still love me. You can say otherwise, but I know. You kept your phone on all week. You wanted to hear me. Even if you won’t admit it.”
I smile through the tears.
“A love like ours doesn’t just fade out, Dee. Not after everything we’ve survived.”
Then his voice changes—soft and teasing. “If I need to start quoting rom-coms, I will.”
I blink in confusion. “What?”
He takes that as permission to continue, “ ‘You complete me.’ ” His voice is solemn.
“ ‘Love means never having to say you’re sorry.’
“ ‘You had me at hello.’
“ ‘We’ll always have Paris.’
“ ‘Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks into mine.’
“ ‘May the force be with you?’ ” he finishes, confused, and I let out a quiet laugh.
“Oh God, Dee, are you laughing?” His voice brightens. “Fuck! That sound… I’ve missed that sound. Come home, baby. Please. I miss you so much, and I don’t know how much longer I can take sleeping in o-our bed without you.” His voice cracks on the word ‘our.’ “I love you.”
I suck in a breath. “I love you, too.”
He exhales hard. “Come home. Please.”
I hesitate, then give him what he wants—part of what he wants. “I’ll come tomorrow. But I’m bringing Joseph. I’ll hear the results with you, and then I’ll pack more of my things and come back here. I still need space, Colt.”
A pause. Then, “Okay. I’ll take what I can get. If a few hours with you is all I get, then I’ll make them count.”
“I just… I really think you belong with Macy and Caleb.”
“No,” he says firmly. “I belong with you. But I’m not going to push right now. I’m just glad I get to see your face.”
“What time do you want me there?”
“The doctor’s coming around midday. Anytime before then is perfect, and bring Joseph, of course. And tell him I’m sorry.”
“I know, he understands.”
“Eleven work?”
“Yeah.”
Another pause, softer this time. “Can I sing you to sleep?”
I press my lips together, nodding even though he can’t see it. “Mm-hmm.”
“Please don’t cry, baby,” he whispers. “Okay, how about something happy? One of our songs.”
“Yes, please,” I whisper.
He starts to sing. His deep, gravelly voice pours through the speaker like honey. It breaks something open in me but also soothes it. I shift onto my side, press the phone to the pillow, and pull the covers over me like a cocoon.
And for the first time in a week, I fall asleep with something close to peace.
***
As Joseph drives us toward the manor, my heart won’t stop pounding. I keep telling myself this is about the donor results, not about Colt. Not about us.
But I’m not sure I can hold it together.
I know what will happen the second I see him. I will want to run into his arms, to kiss him, and pretend none of this ever happened. But that won’t help. This visit is for one reason only—to hear the results and pack up more of my things so Colt can focus on his son.
We reach the gate, and I lean out the window to press the button. When it opens, we roll forward, and I bounce my leg uncontrollably.
“Dee, it’s going to be okay,” Joseph says gently, resting his hand on my knee. “I’m right here.”
I nod, swallowing hard. I know Joseph won’t let things spiral, but seeing everyone again—Hux, Grace, maybe even Macy and Caleb—fills me with nervous dread. I can only imagine how much Hux hates me right now.
As we pull up to the front of the manor, I spot Hux’s car and tense even more. “I don’t think I can do this,” I whisper.
“Yes, you can,” Joseph says, turning off the engine. “You’re stronger than you think. Plus, if Colt gets out of line, I owe him a punch.”
“You’re not punching Colt,” I mutter.
“Maybe. Maybe not. But the offer stands.” He gets out before I can argue. I follow, stepping onto the gravel that feels both familiar and foreign. We walk toward the front door. It opens before we reach it, and there he is…
Colter Slade.
His blue eyes lock on mine, a soft smile tugging at his lips. But as he starts to step toward me, Hux grabs his arm, stopping him.
My stomach twists.
I look down at the floor, forcing myself to breathe.
“Hey, guys,” Joseph says casually.
I hear Hux huff, but ignore it.
“I missed you,” Colt says softly. “You look beautiful.”
I glance up. His expression is full of emotion, and I have to close my eyes to stop myself from crying. “Sorry,” he adds when I don’t respond right away.
“It’s okay,” I manage, and instinctively, I reach for his hand.
He grips mine tightly.
Joseph lets go of me, and in a second, Colt pulls me into his arms.
I melt.
His embrace is everything.
Safe.
Familiar.
Home.
I bury my face in his chest as his arms crush me against him. He’s breathing hard, and his scent surrounds me, warm and intoxicating.
“God, I missed you,” he murmurs, kissing the top of my head.
I let myself enjoy it for a beat too long before pulling back.
“Sorry. Too much?” he asks, seeing the look in my eyes.
I shake my head. “It just won’t help either of us.”
His jaw tightens, and he looks away like the weight of my words physically hurts him.
“Thanks for looking after her,” he says to Joseph, offering his hand.
“You know I’m always here for her,” Joseph replies, slipping an arm around my shoulders.
Colt nods and clears his throat. “Come inside. I made coffee, just the way you like it.”
We step in.
The moment I walk through the door, my eyes land on the staircase banister, and there they are. My rings. Right where I left them. Untouched.
My heart aches.
In the living room, Joseph and I sit on one sofa while Colt and Hux settle opposite. The silence is suffocating until Hux leans forward and begins pouring coffee.
“Milk? Sugar?” he asks, not looking at me.
“Yeah, thanks,” Joseph answers, placing a steady hand on my jittering leg again.
“I’ll get some cookies,” Colt says, standing abruptly.
“I’ll help,” Joseph offers. He ignores my glare and follows Colt into the kitchen, leaving me alone with Hux.
Fucking perfect.
I focus on the vinyls on the wall, trying not to make eye contact.
“What are you doing, Dee?” Hux asks suddenly.
I frown. “Waiting for the donor results. What are you doing?”
He smirks. “Not what I meant. What are you doing to Colt?”
I stay quiet.