Chapter thirty-seven
Melody
Two Months Later
“You’re too drunk to walk home,” Dylan muses as I stagger out of the bar. We met up with some of his classmates from his business lecture, and they convinced me to take shots.
Mistake number one of the night.
Mistake number two was trying a Mai Tai for the first time and downing it like I was racing everyone else at the table. I’m definitely a lightweight.
“Just…put me in an Uber,” I wave a hand, using the wall as support.
He sighs, putting his hands on his sides as he tilts his head. “Now, Ms. Melody, what kind of friend would I be if I allowed you to get into a stranger’s car without making sure you got to the dorms safely?”
I pinch his lips between my fingers, my eyes squinting at the throbbing headache forming in my temples. “You’re so loud.”
He pushes my wrist away lightly, beaming down at me. “Okay, you’re getting the Dylan special.”
“Dylan special? Do you do a little twirl—DYLAN!” I shout as he lifts me into his arms. My hands wrap around his neck as he carries me down the sidewalk with an unwavering stride.
“I can twirl if you’d like?” He suggests. “You may hurl, though.”
“No twirling,” I groan.
He chuckles as I rest my head against his shoulder. His smell isn’t the same as the one I was conditioned to love, but it’s still warm and masculine with a hint of spice behind it. It isn’t bad.
I’m still searching for pieces of Kaden in everything, but I can never find that edge I’m reaching for. It’s sad that over a year later, I’m still so messed up over him. I guess that’s the joy of having your first love rip your heart out and stomp on it like it means nothing to them.
“Hey, Melody,” Dylan says thoughtfully.
“Hmm?”
“Thanks for coming out with me tonight. You made everything better.”
My chest warms as my heart does something it hasn’t in over a year. It picks up. Thumping.
I scan my keycard on our way up to my dorm, an old memory resurfacing of the night Kaden carried me home from The Hunt. The thoughts are still painful, but I don’t feel like my chest will cave under the pressure anymore.
Baby steps.
As I’m swiping my card at my door, Kodi swings it open. Dylan lifts me higher, smiling. “Special delivery.”
My best friend laughs, shaking her head. “I told you to make sure she didn’t get too drunk.”
I reach a hand out to her, smacking her across the face by accident. “Oh, I’m sorry. Maybe I am too drunk.”
“Am I dropping you here or in your bed?” Dylan asks.
It’s chivalrous of him. He never just assumes or takes. He’s kind that way.
“Here is fine,” I mutter. “I may puke before you make it downstairs.”
He lets me slide down as we get caught up in each other. His eyes are a deep brown, almost amber. His jaw is sharp and defined, and his hair mussed.
He’s handsome.
“Um,” he pulls back, scratching at the nape of his neck. “I’ll see you tomorrow for our study date—I mean, study meeting. Meeting? Uh—”
I snort, slapping a hand over his shoulder. “You’re so dorky.”
He chuckles, his cheeks heating with embarrassment. “Not an ounce of swagger in my bones, huh?”
My mirth dies down as a flurry of thoughts flickers through my mind.
When was the last time I felt this close to someone? So connected.
When was the last time I even considered love an option for me?
Kaden.
It all died with him.
But he isn’t dead. And he sure isn’t here anymore. If he’s choosing himself, then why can’t I finally let go and pick me for once?
“Dylan, wait,” I stop him, grabbing his wrist. Before he can question, before I can talk myself out of my bold move, I lift up on my toes, and my lips crash over his.
He goes still, blinking down at me before melting.
His arms wrap around my waist, and he tugs me close.
Our lips move experimentally, every motion testing and new.
He doesn’t taste how I expect. Because what I expect is something that I can’t have.
“Learn to let go and embrace change,“ Dr. Harris’s voice whispers across my mind. “Even if it scares you.”
This is far different than kissing Kaden. It’s new. That doesn’t make it bad. It makes it an experience worth chasing.
When we pull away, Dylan breathes heavily, his cheeks flushed as he brushes my hair behind my ear. He looks like his world has just been brightened before his very eyes.
And I feel…content.
“Can we call it a study date?” He asks quietly.
I bite my lip, nodding.
He swallows before pulling me in for another kiss. This one is much deeper, and I finally feel myself relax. Change is good.
He pulls away, taking a deep breath. “Okay, I’m gonna go before I embarrass myself and you take everything back.”
I laugh. “Goodnight.”
“Goodnight, Melody.”
Four Months Later
“Dylan!” Mom screeches as she takes the steps two at a time. It’s her first time meeting my boyfriend in person, yet they’re already BFFs from their regular FaceTime calls.
He opens his arms wide, accepting her hug as he spins her around. “Mom! In the flesh!”
I wait by Dylan’s car, my arms crossed as amusement tugs at my lips. “Already replacing me, I see.”
“Oh, hush, Jellybean,” Mom fusses over his shoulder.
“Yeah,” my boyfriend parrots. “Let us have our moment, Jellybean.”
Dad glides right past them, opening his arms for me before crushing me to his chest. I close my eyes, holding onto him tightly. This is the closest I’ll ever be to having a piece of Kaden. Our family.
“I missed you, Dad,” I mumble.
“I missed you, too, sweetheart,” he says before kissing my forehead. “Let’s get you kids settled in.”
Dylan helps him unload the car as Mom takes my hand. We’re stepping over the threshold of the house when she whispers to me. “Have you heard from him?”
My heart gives a painful thump. It doesn’t hurt as badly as it used to, but it’s still there. “No. Have you?”
She shakes her head, her eyes downcast. “Not a single word. The last private investigator quit a week into the job.”
I sigh. My parents are still holding out hope that Kaden will magically appear.
I’ve been working through that trauma in therapy twice a week for over a year.
Letting go is never easy, but we have to learn to move on from something that’s hopeless.
Kaden’s decisions are out of our hands. “Mom,” I begin weakly before wrapping my arms around her in a hug.
“It’s been almost two years. I think it’s time—”
She squeezed me tightly, sucking in a breath. “I know. But as parents, we would go to the ends of the Earth for both of you. We can’t let go. No matter how hard we try, Melody.”
My heart pangs. That buried anger resurfaces. He’s hurting them and doesn’t even care. He hurt us and doesn’t even care.
“We’re going to keep trying,” Mom declares as she pulls back and pushes my hair out of my face. “You look so healthy.”
I smile, looking down at my dress that fits a little tighter now. “Dylan has been cooking at the dorm every night.”
“I’m glad he’s taking care of you,” Mom whispers, but there’s something in her eyes—a hesitancy as if she’s withholding something. It’s gone before I can blink.
One Year Later
We’re soaked to the bone, our clothes sticking to us as we finally make it under the pavilion near the student center. Dylan breathes heavily, putting his hands on his knees as he hunches over. Even though we look like drowned cats, he’s still so breathtaking with his hair slicked back.
Our love wasn’t instantaneous or burning as brightly as a flame. It was earned from hard work and dedication over the last year. There’s a difference in our connection compared to my first one, but I don’t dwell on it anymore. This is my life now, and one where I’ve been chosen above all else.
I turn away from him, wringing out my shirt the best I can as I continue to walk. “We only have two minutes to get to the play before we’re locked out of the auditorium! Pick up the pace, baby!”
“Melody,” he calls after me, but I’m happily skipping along, none the wiser. “God dammit, woman, if you don’t turn around!”
I whip around, my face falling and my heart plummeting as I see him down on one knee, holding up a velvet box with a teardrop-shaped diamond ring nestled between two cushions. The rain slows to a dull sound in the distance, and I feel my skin prick with the cold.
“I know it isn’t much.” his voice is unsteady but determined. He sucks in a deep breath. “But I can’t imagine my life without you in it. This last year, with you, has been the best year of my life.”
The words aren’t rehearsed. They’re pulled deep from inside of him, somewhere that bleeds his affection loudly.
“You showed up when I didn’t even realize I needed someone,” he continues, voice softening. “You call me out when I’m being an idiot. You laugh at my worst jokes. You make ordinary days feel like something worth remembering.”
My heart is pounding so loudly that I’m sure he can hear it over the pattering of the rain against the metal roof.
“And I know we’re young,” a breath of nervous laughter is squeezed from him. “But, fuck. I’m completely, undeniably in love with you. Will you marry me, Melody Love?”
There’s a beat of hesitation where the last year plays across my mind in broken fragments.
Late nights studying together with a pint of ice cream between us, finding our way back to each other after being beaten down from our midterms and seeking companionship, and the nightmares he’s helped me through over the last year.
It all comes rushing back to me at this very moment.
No, our love isn’t consuming and all-devouring.
It’s the kind of affection that’s earned quietly, nestling its way slowly into the deepest crevices of your heart before you even realize you’ve been claimed.
It’s enduring the fights and still wanting to be close to that person, no matter how badly they pissed you off.
I haven’t allowed myself to think of a future where it wasn’t Kaden down on one knee, proposing to me. The very thought seemed too painful to even conjure, but now, he takes a backseat, lingering somewhere in the recesses of my mind like a phantom.
I’m moving on and letting go.
I can’t keep holding out hope for a man who clearly never wanted me. No matter how badly that rejection still stings.
I nod, my happy tears falling. “Yes.”
Dylan rises quickly, his lips tugging up into disbelief as he slides the ring on my finger. “I love you so much.”
“I love you, too,” I whisper as I push up on my toes and kiss him.
No, this isn’t the fairytale love that you read about, and I once had within my grasp. It’s different. But different is good.