Chapter 8
8
Brennon
“ E arth to Brennon!” I look up from my plate of food and see Chase taking his seat across from me. “Dude, what’s got you so distracted? I’ve been trying to get your attention.”
What’s got me distracted is my girl. I can’t stop thinking about her. We’ve been playing our wicked little game for two weeks now. Us going into Kanturia, trying to achieve a mission, but the need takes over and I end up chasing her down in the woods. Forcing her avatar down to her knees and showing her exactly what I’d do to her if it was real life. And she succumbs so easily. I tell her everything I want to do to her in the chat, and she always comes for me like a good girl.
Last night, she even surprised me. She was the one who initiated things first. I was in the game, searching for the hidden entrance to the cave, and her avatar walked up, forcing me down onto my knees. Then she reached for my head and pulled me between her legs, showing me what she wanted. And I happily obliged, telling her how good she tasted. Laying down on my back in the game so she could straddle my head. It made me feel like I broke past one of her barriers. It showed me that she wants me as much as I want her. Her shyness slipping away.
But then…before we logged off, I asked her if I could take her on a date this weekend, and once again, she was giving me some lame excuse about not wanting things to change between us. And I’m so fucking confused. I don’t get it. I don’t understand why she won’t meet me. We’ve established that there’s wild hot chemistry between us, and she’s become one of my best friends, so I don’t get why we can’t take things to the next step. After her blow off, I feel like we’ve taken a giant leap backwards and I don’t know what to do.
“I met a girl online,” I admit for the first time. None of my buddies know about Willow. But I think it’s time I shared because I could use some fucking advice. “Met her in the incoming freshman forum for ASU. She’ll be at school with me next year.”
Chase’s brow cocks up as he takes another bite of his pizza, and I tell him an abbreviated version of how I’d assumed Willow was a guy and then learned the truth. He’s swallowing down his shock with every bite.
“Everything’s there, man. The connection. The chemistry.” The heat fucking radiates off the screen. “But she’s still giving me the brush-off. I asked her again last night if she’d go out with me this weekend, and she gave me some lame excuse.”
“Do you think your ugly mug might be what’s scaring her off?” He smirks, and I toss a fry at him. I don’t think she’d proceed to have computer sex with me if she wasn’t interested. Besides, she told me she thought I was attractive. I really don’t think that’s the problem, but I can’t fucking figure it out.
“Yeah, yeah, pretty boy.” He shakes his head, shoving that fry into his mouth, chewing through his words. “Every girl wants your ass, so we know that’s not the case. But does she already have the hots for someone at her school? Maybe there’s someone else in the picture.”
“No. Back when she thought I was a girl, she told me she wasn’t interested in anyone at her school. Nah, the excuse she keeps giving me is that she doesn’t want things to change between us. She’s afraid that if we don’t work out, we’ll lose what we have.”
He nods in agreement. “It’s a valid point. Sex can fuck things up. If you have a good thing going, you might not want to rock the boat.”
I’m not worried about things not working out. What I’ve found with her, I know I won’t find with anyone else. Our foundation has been laid. We know we have fun together. And it’s not like we have to sleep together anytime soon. I’m cool with taking things slow, waiting until she’s ready. But kissing her would be nice. Holding her hand. Cuddling up with her while we’re watching football together. Doing all the things to her body that I do online.
“So what? I’m just supposed to be cool with being friend-zoned, forget that she actually exists in real life, and is only twenty minutes away from me when she’s sending me dirty messages online?”
“Dude, that’s hot.” He nods.
“Yeah, it fucking is.” It’s beyond fucking hot. She’s come right out of her little shell and tells me exactly what she wants now. “I can’t fucking let this go. It may sound crazy, but I think she’s the one, Chase.” Now, he’s choking on his food, looking at me like I might be nuts, but I’m dead serious. “She’s so perfect, man. We can talk online for hours about anything and nothing and I never grow bored.” I’m never rolling my eyes or making an excuse to get offline. “She’s really fucking awesome. And what other girl do you know can talk football stats and likes to play fantasy football?”
I don’t know one girl who I have anything in common with. I love my mom, but even she doesn’t get football. And she’s watched me play for years. And forget about Kanturia. The one time I tried to explain the game to her, her eyes glazed over.
“Well then, what are you waiting for? Get off your ass and go get her. At least you’ll get your answer.”
“So what? I’m just supposed to go talk to her?” I’ve been on the fence so many times, debating whether I should show up at her school, but I always talk myself out of it.
“That’s exactly what you should do. You should go kiss the shit out of her, and then tell her how you feel. If she doesn’t bite, then at least you know now before things get too deep.”
Things are already fucking deep. I think I’m in love with the girl. In fact, I know I am.
“You don’t think me showing up will scare her off? I don’t want to pressure her. She seems a little skittish.” And innocent. I haven’t asked her point-blank, but I know she’s a virgin. So am I. But I’ve messed around with girls before. I’m getting the impression that Willow hasn’t even dated anyone before.
“It sounds like she’s shy or afraid of rejection. But once she knows your intentions, I think she’ll give in. And if she doesn’t, you’ll go back to burning up her internet firewall with your dirty talking, getting her real walls to come down.”
And what if she ghosts me? I don’t voice my fear. But that’s what’s always riding my nerves. Every time we finish playing our sexy game, I’m worried the next time I log on that I’ll see she’s unfriended me. I’m always afraid I’ve taken things too far with her. Worried I was too aggressive with my verbal demands. Crossed way into the sea of perversion, but she hasn’t unfriended me yet. And last night, she made demands of her own. And I gave my girl exactly what she needed.
“You’re right. I’ll go there after school. I’m going to make her tell me to my face that she’s not interested.” Though, I’m hoping once our lips connect, she’ll feel the spark and won’t be able to say no. “Can you keep things on the down-low with the guys? I don’t want them coming at me for details if things go south.”
Chase nods his head. I trust that he’ll keep this between us.
For the remainder of the day, I’m counting down the seconds until I can go to her school. She said she would be working in the library today, so I’ll be waiting in the parking lot. Watching for my pretty girl to appear through the doors. And then I’ll strike.
I’ve been here for almost two hours. Most of the parking lot has cleared out, and I’m wondering whether she’s even inside the building. Maybe she changed her mind and decided not to stay after today. If I had her phone number, I could text her, but I don’t. Which is something I need to remedy—stat. Maybe I should cut my losses and head out. Go home and see if she’s logged onto the game. For all I know, she could be home playing Kanturia without me, waiting for me to hunt her down.
The doors of the building open again and another couple of students come walking out, but neither of them is my girl, but right before it closes, I see a flash of red. I grip my steering wheel, leaning forward in my seat. My heart stopping. The air frozen in my lungs. Waiting. When the door pushes open again, I see her. My pretty girl comes walking through, looking down toward the ground as she makes her way down the front steps.
I climb from my truck and swiftly take strides across the parking lot to get to her. I’m waiting for her to look up and meet my stare, but now she’s distracted with her bag. Digging around, probably searching for her keys. When she stops by the side of a Volkswagen Bug, I can’t help but smile. Her car suits her perfectly. Everything about her is unique and a little quirky, and really fucking awesome.
“Willow.”
Her head turns at the sound of my voice, and her eyes widen as soon as she sees me. Obviously, she’s shocked. She’s probably wondering how I even knew it was her in the first place. I still haven’t told her that I’d come to see her that day. I was worried she’d be upset that I didn’t respect her privacy, and I never knew how to explain the fact that I took off without introducing myself. I was a nervous fool, worried I was going to make a bad impression. But with the way she’s looking at me now, I think I should’ve mentioned it.
In my mind, I was expecting the shock, but I thought it would morph into a smile. But something resembling dread is all I see in her eyes right now. Her shoulders have tensed, and it’s making me think I may have made a mistake by coming here.
“I’m sorry. I hope you’re not upset that I came to see you. I’ve just been dying to meet you, babe.”
She’s shaking her head, backing up towards her vehicle. Coming up short when she bumps into the metal door. Looking even more terrified now that she has no place to run.
“H-h-how’d d-did y-y-you f-f-find m-m-me?”
Fuck. She’s so scared, she’s stuttering. I stop moving forward, giving her some space to settle. I know it’s probably a little unnerving, but it’s me. Not an actual stalker. From everything that’s happened between us online, you’d think she would be comfortable with me by now. I was hoping she’d wrap her arms around me and give me a kiss. But she looks like she’s ready to bolt.
“I cheated, babe,” I tell her, feeling sheepish about the whole thing. “I came here one day after school when I knew you were working in the library. That’s how I knew what you looked like. I’m sorry I never told you. I just didn’t want you to be freaked that I invaded your privacy. I would’ve come up to you that day to introduce myself, but I was so struck by your beauty, I got nervous.” I didn’t want to ruin my chance at making a good first impression, but look at the bang-up job I’m doing now.
She swallows hard. Still looking blanched in the face. Like she’s seen a ghost. Something’s not adding up. She really doesn’t want me here, and that’s stirring up one huge question of why.
“Do you think we can go somewhere and talk?” I ask, an uneasiness settling into my gut. We’ve been talking online for weeks now, but she’s acting like I’m a complete stranger who’s trying to kidnap her. Or… maybe Chase was right. There’s another guy in the picture which she failed to mention.
She shakes her head.
“Can you tell me why not, baby?”
Again, she swallows so deeply I can see her nerves rolling thickly down her throat.
“B-b-be-c-c-cause I c-c-can’t sp-sp-speak.”
She turns away from me, working to get her car door open and I’m at a loss for my own words. I don’t know what to say or do. I’ve literally spooked her. Scared her to the point that she can’t form words.
“I’m not trying to make you nervous, babe. If you want, you can just listen. I just wanted to tell you that I have feelings for you, and I didn’t want to have to say it over the computer screen.” I’m literally confessing my deepest truth to the back of her head. My stomach is matted up into a ball. She won’t even turn and look at me.
“I know you said you wanted to keep things online, but it’s different with you, Willow. I really believe there could be something real between us. My feelings are already running pretty deep, babe, and this isn’t something I can turn my back on. I’ve never met anyone like you.”
She opens her car door and tosses her bag to her passenger seat.
“I-I-I’m s-s-s-or-ry.” She struggles to get her words out again, barely glancing at me, but it’s long enough for me to catch the tears in her eyes before she turns away and climbs into her car. She doesn’t even look up as she pulls the door closed and starts her engine. Doesn’t even look at me as she pulls out of the parking spot and starts to drive off.
I’m fucking cut. I feel like my heart is being run right over by those tires as she pulls out of the parking lot and onto the street. She wouldn’t even talk to me.
She turns left, disappearing down the road, and I feel like that’s the last time I’m ever going to see her. I don’t even want to get in my truck and go home to face the rejection that I know will be waiting for me when I log onto the game. Fuck. I don’t know how that could’ve gone so wrong. Never in a million fucking years would I have guessed that would’ve been her reaction. I could imagine her being a little nervous but upset to the point of tears? I don’t get it.