5. Lexi
CHAPTER 5
Lexi
I lean against the door and suck in a deep breath. What the hell happened down there?
I touch my cheek and I swear I still feel his rough fingers touching my skin, warming me up.
I can’t breathe and I drop my hand to my chest, feeling my heart racing out of control.
The last couple of weeks have shown me what kind of man that Max is. He’s a soft-spoken man that seems as hard as granite but he’s a marshmallow underneath.
He loves his employees and he does treat everyone like family. I knew some of the stuff that he told me. I didn’t know about Sasha but it doesn’t surprise me in the slightest.
He’s a good man and every time he’s near me, my body pulses with need. If he wants me, I’m not sure that I’ll be able to say no.
But I don’t want to have to leave and if things don’t work out, what then?
I love this bar. Love the people I work with. Bryce is the daytime bartender and he’s a sweetheart. A twenty-one year old who’s barely old enough to drink but he has a smile a mile wide. People come in and talk to him and he just listens.
He’s an amazing listener. Then there’s Sasha and Mel. And the cook, Henry. The older guy is married to the love of his life for the last forty years and he’s always talking about his girl. It’s so damn sweet that it makes my teeth hurt.
I can only dream of having a man who loves me so much forty years from now.
My mind immediately jumps to Max. The big man makes me feel small and safe. At the same time my body heats every time he’s near me.
I’ve never been with a man but I know what it feels like to want one. And I want Max badly.
I step back when the wood door thumps under me. “Lexi? It’s me. Max.”
I huff out a laugh and open the door. “Max. I know what your voice sounds like. You don’t need to tell me it’s you.”
He grins and the smile pulls at the scars bracketing his cheeks. I can see them underneath his beard and I’m curious. I know that he was a firefighter and that a large fire caught him. He was burned. The whole town talks about how he was trapped trying to save a little boy. He got the boy out and then went back for the puppy he was crying about. That puppy didn’t make it.
They found the body of the puppy with Max when they pulled him out of the wreckage where the ceiling collapsed on him. It was a miracle that the guys managed to find him and pull him out.
I thank god every day that those guys found him because if they hadn’t? There are a lot of people that would regret that but none more than me.
He gave me a shot. A chance to find my own happiness in this town.
“I’ll just head on back and take a look at the hot water heater. It’s cranky and sometimes it just needs a little adjustment. Shouldn’t take me long.”
I follow him back and stand at the door of the utility room, leaning on the jamb. He looks up at me as he fiddles with something and digs in his toolbox.
“Did you need something, Lexi?”
Jesus, that’s a loaded question. But I just shrug.
He eyes me and then pulls a wrench out and starts tugging at something I can’t quite see. His teeth grind and he growls under his breath.
“Fucker.”
I grin.
“I’m glad you’re finding this funny, angel.”
“Nope. Just funny that you’re pissed at a little piece of metal but last Friday night when Clyde got drunk and broke up two chairs you didn’t say shit to him. Just sent him home in a car.”
He shrugs his broad shoulders and the flannel he’s wearing stretches over his broad shoulders until it looks like the seams are stretched to the max.
“Why would I? The guy just lost his daughter. If he wants to break up a few chairs? I understand. Hell, I want to break a few for him.”
This is the guy that the whole town loves. The even-tempered guy who would give you the shirt off his back.
I just don’t get why he’s so hard on himself.
“Still…”. My voice trails off when he smiles at me.
“Baby girl, that man is going through hell. Clyde was one of the guys who picked me up out of that damn rubble. He retired later on but he was a firefighter. He saved my fucking life. Hell, if he wants to break my whole damn bar up to deal with his daughter’s loss in that fucking car accident…I will fucking let him and then I’ll rebuild. That guy is more of a hero than I ever was.”
I shake my head. He grunts and stands up, moving closer to me. I don’t back away and soon enough he’s standing so close that his chest brushes mine. His breath touches my skin and I shudder.
“You know my story, angel. Tell me yours.”
Drawing in a shaky breath, I stare up into his soft, gentle eyes. This man is absolutely a hero. He’s the complete package. A gentle man with a protective streak a mile wide and my body pulses with the urge to jump him and climb him like a fucking tree.
“What do you want to know, Max?”
“What brought you to Wildwood? Why were you in such a bad situation? Why were you sleeping in your car?” He leans so close that his words brush my ear. “I ought to paddle your ass for that one. That is not safe even in Wildwood. There are things in this little town you wouldn’t understand. So tell me why you did that. Why you risked your fucking life and my own with it.”
My brow scrunches. “What do you mean?”
“Just answer the question, angel.”
I sigh and my head turns, my eyes drifting away. “I didn’t graduate from college. Did I tell you that?”
“I don’t give a shit about that.”
“It’s part of my story.” He nods his head. “My last semester. I was so tired. I was studying like a madwoman. I couldn’t get home for spring break like I usually did. My parents were disappointed to say the least. My mom cried like I broke her heart.” My voice cracks and I swallow roughly. “I promised her that it was almost over and then I’d come home for good.” I close my eyes and tears streak down my cheeks. Fuck, it still hurts so damn much. “Two days later, I was studying at the library and a couple of uniformed police officers came to find me.” I stop and the tears roll ceaselessly. “They were killed the night before by a drunk driver. I didn’t even know that they were gone. That I’d never see them again. I was sitting in there studying, angry that I’d messed up on a fucking test the day before and it dragged my grade down a tenth of a point. A tenth of a fucking point! That’s what I was thinking about when my whole world was gone!”
Wracking sobs wrench out of me and Max tugs me to him and holds me tight. “Oh, angel. I am so sorry that that happened to you. Sometimes life isn’t fucking fair and we don’t get a chance to say the things we want to say to the people we care for. And you can’t blame yourself that you were stressed about a test when you didn’t know what happened to them! You were a student. That was your job. All of us have a job to do and I’m sure they understood that.”
I lift my head and his face is a watery mess. “I should have known. And I should have said I’g go home. I made my last memory of my mom her tears. I didn’t get to see them. Instead I was studying and worrying about something that doesn’t mean a damn thing without them!” I hide my face in his broad chest and he drags in a shuddering breath under my head. His heart beats in my ear.
“Honey. Your parents would never say that that education didn’t matter to them. They wanted that for you, didn’t they?” I nod my head and he says, “That’s right. They wanted more for you than they had. What did they do?”
I smile. “Mom stayed home. But Dad worked for an electrician. He worked a lot of hours but it payed for everything. And he never said a damn word about my mom not working. He wanted to take care of us. She was his whole world.”
Max lifts my chin and shakes his head. “Angel, his whole world included you. He would never want to see what you’re doing to yourself because you feel guilty.” I shake my head again and my tear-soaked hair sticks to my sweaty skin. He reaches up a gentle, big hand and smiles softly.
“The man you’re describing, the mom you’re talking about…they wouldn’t want you to do this to yourself.”
“I left school because I couldn’t think,” I whisper. “All I could do was dream about them. About the crash.” I close my eyes. “I can see it in my head. I saw the accident report and it was so damn bad. They said that my mom died right away. But my dad, he was driving, and he called for help. But the recording…oh my god!” I double over with pain. “He saw her and he couldn’t stop crying. For her. He loved her so much. He was dead before they got there to help them.”
He shakes his head. “Why the fuck did you listen to that? Jesus, angel.”
“They played it on the news. There was a huge investigation because it was a senator that was drunk. It was everywhere.”
He holds me tight and I dig my nails into his bulging biceps. “Baby, you should never have had to deal with that. I’m so damn sorry.”
I can’t quit crying. Until he picks me up and carries me to my bed. He holds me tight until I fall asleep and I haven’t felt so safe in so long.
Until the morning when I wake alone.