Chapter - 23
I did not even realise that I had fallen asleep when my eyes opened again, Ishaan still asleep clung to me. We had just entered the Palace gates and the lights were what got me up and I sat up straight.
"Maaf kijiye ga, mujhe pata hi nahi chala...." I started, rubbing my eye once, turning my face to look at Ranaji.
"Aap so jaane ke liye maafi kyun maang rahi hain, Parthvi? Jaanta hoon, thak gayi thi aap." He did not let me finish my sentence, turning his head just a little to look at me.
I could only nod at him once.
The car slowed as we moved through the driveway and I glanced outside. Everything looked exactly how it was, too grand and too quiet.
Ranaji stepped out first and then opened my door. The cool night air hit my face and cleared the last traces of sleep and he bent down, carefully taking Ishaan out of my embrace into his, stepping aside for me to get out.
I stepped out slowly, smoothing my clothes, my eyes following Ishaan as Ranaji lifted him easily and Ishaan did not stir even once, his head settling against Ranaji's shoulder like he belonged there.
"Aap kamre mein chali jaayein, mai Ishaan ko sula kar aata hoon." He said gently, his eyes softening just for a moment.
I felt heat rise to my cheeks before I could stop it.
I lowered my gaze, suddenly very aware of how tired I was and how utterly stupid I was going to sound next while he turned around to walk away but I had no option but to stop him because if my sense of directions in the morning were bad, they were the absolute worst at night.
"Suniye....rukiye...." words were out before I could even frame them properly but they made him stop and turn around to look at me. I thought that he would be irritated to be stopped but he was not, if anything, he looked mildly curious.
I hesitated, my fingers curling into the hem of my sweater once.
"Woh..." I began, then stopped, feeling ridiculous. "Mujhe... mujhe nahi pata ki aapke kamre tak jaana kaise hai."
I realised then that I was staring and quickly looked away. Parthvi, you just checked out your enemy, what the fuck is wrong with you!? Yes, he is handsome and I accept it because I am not blind but what the hell?
"Yeh mahal bhool-bhulaiyya jaisa hai, mai din mein confuse ho jaati hoon, abhi toh raat ho rahi hai." I accepted, folding my arms in front of my chest, still not looking at him.
Eventually, I lifted my eyes back to him.
He watched me for a second longer, then let out a short breath that sounded almost like a quiet laugh. It was low and brief, like it surprised even him.
"Aaiyye," he said simply, the faint trace of that almost-smile still there."Pehle Ishaan ko sula dete hain, phir saath mein chalenge."
I nodded, because that felt easier than trusting my voice.
He turned and started walking unhurried as if he already knew I would follow. I fell into step beside him, the sound of our footsteps echoing through the corridor. We had barely crossed the archway when voices drifted in from the garden to our right.
Soft laughter.
I looked instinctively and saw Pankhuri and Yuvaan walking slowly along the stone path, fingers intertwined, heads bent slightly towards each other. They were smiling at each other, talking to each other and I could not help myself but smile a little at how at ease they were with each other.
They noticed us a second later.
Pankhuri stopped first, her smile widening when she saw Ishaan asleep in Ranaji's arms.
"Welcome back home." she said, coming to me, pulling me in her arms but even then, home twisted my heart but I hugged her back.
"Ishaan ne pareshaan toh nahi kiya Bhaiya?" Yuvaan asked Ranaji who gave him a glare.
"Ishaan se zyada toh tum pareshaan kar lete ho mujhe Yuvaan." He replied, as Yuvaan reached out. Ranaji adjusted his hold and passed Ishaan to him smoothly. Ishaan stirred once, his face scrunching slightly, then relaxed again, his head dropping against Yuvaan's shoulder.
"He didn't even wake up." he murmured. "Must have been a long day."
Pankhuri reached out and brushed a finger lightly over Ishaan's hair and then looked at me. "You should rest. You look exhausted."
I nodded a little at her.
Pankhuri squeezed my hand once before turning with Yuvaan and walking away. For a moment, I watched them disappear down the corridor.
Then I realised Ranaji was still beside me.
"Chalein?" he asked.
"Ji." I replied and we walked again, side by side.
It wasn't there.
I turned around, a little confused.
"Pankhuri had your clothes arranged in the closet." Ranaji said from behind me, his voice calm. "She thought it would be easier for you."
I turned to look at him. "Yeh karne ki bilkul zaroorat nahi thi. The bag was fine for me." I said quickly.
He studied me for a second, then spoke, evenly.
"Aap yahan mehmaan nahi hain, Parthvi. Aap Raanisa hain Ratangarh ki, meri patni hain. Yeh ghar hai aapka." he said.
For a moment, I wanted to tell him that my home was the one I had just come back from. That no matter how many walls surrounded me here, home was not something that could be decided like this.
But I swallowed it all back because I did not have it in me right now to have this argument with him.
Without saying anything, I turned and walked into the closet.
I picked out my clothes and went straight into the washroom, shutting the door behind me.
When I came out a few minutes later, I saw him stepping out of his walk-in closet, changed into a black kurta.
I went to the couch, lay down, and pulled the blanket up to my face.
"Good night." I muttered, my voice barely audible.
He said it back to me and after that, the room went quiet again.
After a while, I peeked out from under the blanket.
He was half lying on the bed, his back resting against the headboard, one arm relaxed at his side.
"Ranaji?" I said softly.
He asked, without opening his eyes. "Ji?"
"Thank you for letting me meet my family but I should not be needing your permission to meet them in the first place. " I spoke up, adjusting myself to sit, my back pressed to the hand rest of the couch.
That made him open his eyes to look at me.
"Aapne abhi mujhse kaha na ki yeh mahal ab mera ghar hai par apne ghar par toh mujhe aaj tak kabhi kisi ki permission nahi leni padi apne man ki karne ki.
" I don't know what came over to because I had most definitely not planned on calling this palace my home in any upside-down dimension ever.
He looked at me for a long moment, properly this time and there was no air of authority in his eyes that usually was present when he talked to me or anyone else.
"Aap jab bhi agli baar apne parivaar se milna chahein, ek baar jaane se pehele mujhe bata dijiyega." He said, and his voice flattened.
"Naa chahte hue bhi aapki zindagi aapki nahi rahi hai, meri ho gayi hai toh aaj se mai apni zindagi aapke naam kar raha hoon.
Jo aaj tak hua hai itne saalon mein, usse badalne ki taakat hum dono mein hi nahi hai aur Ratangarh ka Raja hone ke naate, meri kuch zimmedariyan unn logon ki taraf bhi thi jinhone apni Maa samaan Rani khoyi thi isiliye jo maine kiya, woh kabhi unki nazron mein galat nahi hoga par agar aaj Maasa zinda hoti, toh meri taraf dekh bhi nahi paati nafrat mein kyunki galat toh maine kiya hai.
" his voice dropped a tone as I felt my eyes watering up.
(Even though you never wanted it, your life stopped being just yours and became tied to mine.
So from today, I am tying my life to yours.
What has happened over all these years cannot be changed by either of us.
And as the King of Ratangarh, I also had certain responsibilities toward those people who lost a Queen they regarded as a mother.
That is why what I did will never seem wrong in their eyes.
But if Maasa were alive today, she wouldn't even be able to look at me out of hatred because I am the one who is wrong, irrespective of what others believe.)
"Ranaji, har cheez ki ek keemat hoti hai, mai jaanti hoon. Mere papa ki ek choice ne aapka parivaar tod diya aur aapki ek choice ne mera par baat toh phir bhi barabar nahi hui na. Kam se kam woh log jaante hain ki mai zinda hoon." I shrugged, saying.
This was the reality.
I looked away, wiping at my eyes with the edge of the blanket, embarrassed that I was this close to crying in front of him again.
"Thank you, for not making me look around ways to sneak behind your back and run away to meet them because I was going to see them anyway soon.
I am going to be a bua soon and there is no way I was going to miss that.
" I asked, looking at him again and told him something I was not supposed to at least for one another month because Mumma had forbidden it.
His face softened for the second time this night, "Congratulations, Parthvi." He said.
"Thank you! I can't wait, you know. I really hope that it's a girl though because I love the idea of shopping from the kids section, you know!" I have no idea how my mood suddenly changed but I realised that it pretty soon that I let my guard down in front of him and then pulled it up just as soon.
"Thank you, Ranaji. Goodnight." I said and lied back down on the couch, hiding myself under the blanket once again.
My safe space.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I woke up to my phone ringing which made me sit straight immediately and I searched for it somewhere around me on the couch and found it under my pillow.
Jai Bhaiya.
"Bhaiya, it's six thirty! In the morning! Aapko bhi koi dushmani hai kya mere se?" I asked, groaning as I looked at the time.
"Kar le Pri, mental health ki toh lagi hi hui hai, at least physical health bani rahegi." he spoke up, eating something.
"Just because aapko jaldi uthna pada, toh aapne mujhe bhi utha diya. Bohot sahi." I rolled my eyes and wrapped my blanket around my shoulders, standing up to walk out into the balcony.
It was literally freezing as a shiver passed through me and I hugged the blanket tighter around myself.
"Bhaiya, it is freezing," I muttered, leaning against the railing. "You woke me up just so I could freeze to death in a palace balcony."
He laughed on the other end. "You're dramatic. Go inside."
"I am inside," I said. "Just... outside inside."
I glanced down absentmindedly, my eyes adjusting to the early morning light. The palace grounds were still quiet, the sky a pale blue.
That's when I saw him.
Ranaji.
He was running along the far lawn, a little distance away from the building and for a second, I forgot Jai Bhaiya was still talking.
"Pri?" Jai Bhaiya's voice cut in. "You listening or did you fall asleep standing?"
"Haan, haan," I replied quickly. "I'm listening."
"Tu balcony mein kya kar rahi hai subah subah?"
"Freezing," I said. "And... nothing. Just looking around."
My eyes drifted back to Ranaji without meaning to. He slowed for a moment, stretched his shoulders briefly, then started running again. He didn't look up. He didn't know I was there.
"Tu wapis so ja." Jai Bhaiya said. "I will call you later."
"Haan." I replied. "At least let me sleep in the morning."
He laughed and hung up.
I lowered the phone and stayed where I was, watching silently as Ranaji completed another lap and finally slowed to a walk. He wiped his forehead with the edge of his sleeve and stood still for a moment, breathing evenly.
He lifted his head then.
I froze and for a second, our eyes met across the distance. Too real for this early in the morning.
My breath caught in my throat and I let out a small, stupid gasp before I could stop myself.
That was enough.
I turned around immediately, my heart suddenly beating too fast for no reason that made sense, and walked back inside the room.
I shut the balcony door softly behind me, leaning my forehead against the cool glass for half a second longer than necessary.
What is wrong with you Parthvi?
Then, I took the blanket off myself and folded it neatly before freshening up and taking a quick bath before walking out of the room, only to find Yuvaan with Adhiraj uncle again.
"Good morning, Yuvaan, good morning uncle." I said, looking at both of them and then bent down to uncle's wheelchair and tightened his shawl more around him.
I only saw his lip twitch once, as if offering me a smile and that made me feel so unburdened somehow.
"Good morning Bhabhisa, Ishaan has woken up and has been desperate to meet you. Pankhuri has stopped him. If you have the time, why don't you go up to my room and see them?" He asked and I nodded immediately.
"On my way!" I said, before coming back to ask him the way to his room and he smiled, asking an attendant to walk me there.
The palace was fully awake now, sunlight spilling in through tall windows, catching on carved pillars and long corridors that still felt too big for me.
When we stopped outside Yuvaan's room, the attendant knocked once and stepped aside.
Before I could even say anything, the door flew open.
"Pri!" Ishaan practically yelled, launching himself at me.
I barely had time to brace myself before his small arms wrapped around my waist. I laughed despite myself, bending down and hugging him back.
"Aaj tum aur mai aur mumma hide and seek khelenge!" he announced.
"Done champ par pehele toh breakfast karna hoga na?" I asked him and then looked at Pankhuri who was sighing at her son.
"Ishu, now go on with your Pri and meet the rabbits. I will go and check on Daadisa." She said and I offered Ishaan my hand. He gladly took it.
I let him pull me along.
"Rabbits pehle," he said seriously, as if that was the most important thing on his schedule. "Phir hide and seek."
"Obviously," I agreed. "Rabbits come before everything."
We walked out into the open corridor that led toward the gardens. We had barely crossed the first turn when Ishaan suddenly slowed down.
"Pri?" he said in a low voice.
I looked down at him. "Haan?"
"You know," he leaned closer, his voice dropping dramatically, "there is a ghost in this palace."
I stopped walking.
"What?" I asked, very casually. Too casually.
He nodded, eyes wide. "Haan. A very old ghost."
I scoffed. "Ghosts are not real, Ishaan."
He looked offended. "They are. This one is."
"And how do you know?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Papa told me." he said confidently. "And also one guard uncle."
That did not help. At all.
"What does this ghost do?" I asked, purely for information. Definitely not because I was suddenly imagining every dark corridor differently.
He tightened his grip on my hand. "She comes out at night. Especially when people are sad."
I swallowed. "Very... considerate of her."
"She wears white," he continued, clearly enjoying this. "And her hair is very long. She walks very slowly and cries."
Okay. No. Absolutely not.
"Bhoot woot kuch nahi hote Ishaan." I shot back.
He tilted his head, studying my face. "You're scared."
"I am not," I said instantly. "At all."
He smiled in that knowing way that children do when they know you're lying.
"Then why are you holding my hand so tight?"
I looked down.
I was.
I loosened my grip immediately. "It's cold," I said. "My hands get cold."
He laughed and skipped ahead, still holding my hand, still talking.
"She also lives near the old well," he added over his shoulder.
I stopped again. "There is an old well?"
He nodded enthusiastically. "Yes! Bade Papa said I'm not allowed to go there."
That was comforting. Truly.
"Good," I said. "You shouldn't. Wells are dangerous. Ghost or no ghost."
He hummed, then looked back at me. "But you won't leave me alone here, right?"
I smiled, bending down to his level. "Never."
He beamed and tugged me forward again.
I walked with him, pretending I wasn't thinking about his little story and as the garden fountain came into view, Ishaan let go of my hand and ran ahead, crouching down immediately, as if the rabbits will be under the water.
"Careful," I said, stepping closer. "You'll...."
Too late.
His foot slipped on the damp stone and his balance went completely. Instinct kicked in before sense did. I grabbed him, he grabbed me, and the next second both of us tipped forward.
With a very undignified yelp, we fell straight into the fountain and cold, cold water splashed everywhere. Ishaan half in my arms, half laughing.
"We fell!" he announced, as if it were an achievement.
"Ishaan," I said breathlessly, trying to stand and slipping again. "This was not part of the plan."
Footsteps hurried toward us.
I looked up to see Yuvaan doubled over with laughter, dragging Adhiraj uncle's wheelchair along, while Pankhuri stood frozen, shock slowly giving way to disbelief.
And then Ranaji stepped into view.
He stopped.
His eyes moved once over the scene. Me, soaked. Ishaan sitting happily in the fountain. Water everywhere.
"Bade Papa, iss fountain mein aapne water proof machliyan kyun nahi rakhi hain?" Ishaan asked Rudra, looking at him seriously, still in my arms.
For a second, no one said anything and then Yuvaan and Pankhuri burst out laughing, Ranaji was trying not to smile but barely succeeding and Adhiraj uncle had an amused glint in his eyes.
"Ishu, fountain mein koi girta hai kya?" Yuvaan asked, still laughing.
Ishaan considered this, nodded once as if that made complete sense, and splashed the water lightly with his hand.
"Next time phir swimming pool mein girenge mai aur Pri." he declared.
Ranaji stepped closer and pulled Ishaan out of my arms, putting him back on his feet.
Pankhuri recovered first.
"Ishaan Yuvaan Raisinghania" she said sharply, stepping forward, "tumhe kitni baar mana kiya hai ki fountain ke paas bhaagna nahi hai?"
Before he could protest, she leaned down and twisted his ear lightly. Ishaan yelped more out of drama than pain.
"Mummaaa," he complained. "Accident tha."
I almost laughed.
His attention then shifted to me.
I was still in the fountain, knees bent awkwardly, palms pressed against the cold stone, trying to stand without slipping again. Water dripped from my sleeves, my clothes heavy against my skin.
"Rukiye." he said.
Before I could react, he stepped into the fountain without hesitation. Water splashed slightly as he came closer. One arm came around my waist, steady and sure, as if this was the most natural thing in the world.
Before I could say anything, he lifted me out, pulling me closer and I caught his coat instinctively.
He placed me down on the stone path, keeping his hand there until I was standing properly.
"Dhyaan se" he said.
I nodded, breath uneven, aware of how close he still was.
He stepped back then, turning slightly toward Pankhuri and Ishaan as if he had not just triggered a little close to hundred butterflies in my stomach for no god damn reason!
looked at me once more.
"Change kar lijiye," he said simply. "Thand lag jaayegi."
"Ji." I replied and walked away with Pankhuri and Ishaan next to me.