His to Hate.

Chapter - 22

I stood by the window of my study long after her car disappeared beyond the gates, my reflection staring back at me.

It was the right thing to do. One family was enough to be left tortured, living with the pain of separation and death. If I put one more person in this same cycle of the same misery we had gone through, that would make me a sadist and I might be a lot of things, but sadist was not one of them.

She needed to go home. She needed to see her family to be reminded that the world she came from still existed. Keeping her here, contained within these walls, would have been easier for me but it would also have been cruel.

So I let her go.

That should have been the end of it.

I turned away from the window and went back to my desk, picking up the first file that lay open.

I read the same paragraph twice before realising that I had not absorbed a single word.

I shut the file with more force than necessary and stood up again and made my way back to the room and the first thing I saw was her book, resting on the coffee table.

The Girl Next Door.

She was reading this? It was one of the most disturbing books I had ever read as a semester mandatory in Oxford and it left me unsettled for days and Parthvi was reading this book every night before going to bed.

Of all the books she could have picked, this was the one. Brutal, claustrophobic and pointless violence wrapped in fiction. I had hated it then and I hated it now. I picked it up, turned a few pages and then closed it again.

Why something wrong with my wife? This book did not fucking go with her personality. She has never tried to hide it that she is not happy here and no one expects her to. Was reading something as dark as this a coping mechanism? An escape from reality?

She clearly enjoyed reading it if this was one of the few things she brought here when her entire life was falling apart because of me.

"Bhaiya, can I come in?" It was Yuvaan who knocked at the already open door.

I nodded and he made his way towards me, his eyes going to the book in my hand before he looked back at me.

"Why are you voluntarily reading this creepy book in the middle of the day? We need to get to the meeting." He asked, taken aback.

I laughed before placing the book back on the table.

"This is Parthvi's. She reads it every night before going to bed." I replied and saw his jaw fall off the floor.

"What? What? Have we pushed into this darkness? But why did you get her this book bhaiya? Aapki Biwi hain woh, aapko hi rehna hai unke saath. Agar koi kitaab deni hi thi toh koi acchi waali hi dete na!" He made himself comfortable on the couch next to me.

"Bhabhisa is an interesting character." He remarked and I did not find myself disagreeing.

"Yuvaan are you fine with her being around? I know that you have protected her but if you want to keep your distance, no one will blame you." I said, I had been meaning to say this to him for sometime.

"Bhaiya, there is still a part of me that sometimes remind me that she is the daughter of the man who destroyed our family and killed Maasa but when I look at her, I see her as a human being too whose only fault was that she is the daughter of the man and is being punished for that.

I know that we have had this conversation before but I am going to tell you again.

She is your wife now and that makes her my Bhabhisa which means that she has as much respect as Maa has in my life. " He replied, turning to look at me.

I studied him for a moment.

Yuvaan had always been clear in his loyalties, but this was not loyalty, this was conviction.

"You don't have to force that on yourself." I said. "No one will question you if you feel otherwise."

"I'm not forcing anything Bhaiya.," he replied calmly.

"I don't feel angry anymore when I look at her.

I just feel bad for her now. She lost her home, her identity and everything else and I know it's not fair because you had no say in this but you still are her husband and it's upon you to start making her feel that she is a part of this family now. " he sighed.

I nodded at him once and we walked back to the office for the meeting.

When we entered the office, everyone stood. I took my seat, opened the file, and forced my focus onto the papers in front of me. Land issues, budget approvals and a security briefing. In the middle of it, Parthvi's head of security informed me that they had reached her house.

I nodded to myself.

The meeting dragged on longer than expected before I dismissed them and went back to the cabin to sign off on the final approvals.

I closed the final file and leaned back in my chair, pressing two fingers to my temple. Enough.

11:12 PM.

Ishaan came running to me and held my leg.

"Bade Papa! Aapne Pri ko kyun jaane diya? Ab woh kab aayegi waapis? Mai jaa raha hoon usko lene bas." he announced, hanging on my leg as I gave out a chuckle and tried to pick him up in my arms but he clinged harder to my leg.

"Ishuu tu meri baat kyun nahi sunta hai!" Pankhuri came almost running from the other side.

"Kyunki aap bohot lecture deti ho mumma aur mujhe nahi sunne ka man karta hai." he announced as I finally picked him up in my arms and he clung his small arms around my neck.

"Ab batao Bade Papa, Pri kab aayegi?" He asked again.

I looked at his face again.

That hopeful, stubborn look.

"Alright." I said. "I will take you."

His head snapped up instantly.

"Really?" he asked, eyes lighting up. "Promise?"

"Yes." I replied. "Promise."

He grinned so wide it almost hurt to look at him.

"I knew it!" he announced proudly, as if this had been decided long ago. "Pri will make me meet Jai now and I will tell him that she told me that he also calls her Pri and I also call her Pri and you know Bade Papa...."

Pankhuri stared at me in disbelief.

"Rudra Bhaiya." she started, lowering her voice

"There are a few deals that require my attention in Udaipur Pankhuri." I said. "I will drop him to her house and take care of work."

Ishaan wrapped his arms around my neck again.

"Best Bade Papa ever!" he declared.

I handed him back to her and watched them walk away, Ishaan already planning what he would tell Parthvi when he saw her.

I stood there for a moment after they left, the corridor quiet again.

I told myself it was practical and efficient. Ishaan wanted to go, and I had work in Udaipur anyway. The timing made sense. That was all it was.

Back into the room, I found myself sitting on the couch instead of the bed, resting my eyes close.

_____________________________

The next day, Yuvaan and I had to take Baba for his routine check up. It was a one person work but we had always gone together with Baba and so I found him ready, waiting for me in Baba's room.

Baba was still in his bed, his eyes were open, unfocused and staring at the ceiling.

"Ready?" I asked him.

He nodded.

The medical attendants lifted Baba onto the wheelchair and there was no reaction from him except a slow blink.

At the hospital, the doctor told us that his condition was stable and that was what we had been hearing for the past twenty seven years.

We had tried to explore every option, every surgery but everything came with extremely high risks except for physiotherapy but Baba never cooperated with that, no matter how much any of us tried.

I nodded once and wheeled him back to the car.

On the way back, Yuvaan spoke to Baba about work, about Pankhuri and Ishaan. Baba blinked once in a while. That was all.

Back at the palace, the attendants shifted him to his bed again. Yuvaan adjusted the pillow behind his neck.

"I will come back to check on Baba later." he told me and left.

I stayed for a minute longer and sat by his side, taking his hand in both of mine.

"Baba, maine aaj se pehele aapse zyada kuch kaha nahi hai, par aaj bolna chahta hoon. Mujhe darr lag raha hai Baba, mujhe saalon baad kisi baat se darr lag raha hai." I started and saw his eyes trying to focus on me more than they already were.

"Mujhe samajh mein nahi aa raha hai ki mai kisse baat karun. Mujhe toh yeh bhi nahi samajh mein aa raha hai ki mujhe baat kya karni hai. Haan, bas itna jaanta hoon ki naa aage badh paa raha hoon, na piche dekhna chahta hoon." I continued.

I tightened my grip around his hand without realising it.

"I know that you cannot answer me." I said quietly. "I know you cannot tell me what to do. But you used to be the one who always knew."

His fingers didn't move. His chest rose and fell steadily. One slow blink.

"I did what I thought was right." I went on. "I married her to uphold the law instead of killing her father. Every decision feels correct on paper, Baba, but none of them feel settled."

I swallowed.

Only that familiar blink. Slow. Measured.

"I will be back in the evening Baba. Dhyaan rakhiyega." I released his hand and stood up. Lingering would not change anything. It never had.

The rest of the day went by. Yuvaan had handled the office while I was in a meeting with potential importers from London. By evening, everything that needed to be done had been done.

At dinner, Ishaan was bouncing around in excitement till Daadisa entered which made him sit next to Pankhuri. The rest of it passed in silence and my eyes traveled to the chair far away, opposite mine which Parthvi had decided was hers, as far away from me. It was vacant tonight as well.

I finished dinner and left the table soon after, walking back the room and moved to the couch instead of the bed like yesterday, leaning back and closed my eyes and her face came to me without warning. Not doing anything. Just there. Calm. Still.

I opened my eyes at once and they went straight to the dresser, to the small box where her mangalsutra lay, exactly like it was ever since she took it off the next day after the wedding.

I looked away.

Sleep came late that night.

____________________________

We left early the next morning.

Ishaan was already waiting near the car, his backpack slung over one shoulder, excitement written all over his face. He climbed in and buckled himself without being told.

The road out of Ratangarh stretched ahead.

For a while, he stayed silent, watching the trees pass by. Then he leaned forward between the seats.

"Bade Papa," he said, "do you know Pri's favourite actor?"

"No," I replied.

"Shah Rukh Khan." he said proudly. "She says no one else even comes close."

I glanced at him briefly through the rear-view mirror. "Why?"

"Because he can make people cry and laugh in the same movie," Ishaan said seriously. "Pri says that's very difficult."

I nod once.

"And her favourite cricketer is MS Dhoni." he went on, giggling. "She told me that once she ran away from home without telling anyone with her friends to watch him play in Jaipur and then her mumma scolded her so much."

I raised an eyebrow. "She ran away?"

"Yes," he said happily. "But only for a few hours. She said it was worth it."

"That sounds irresponsible," I said.

"No," Ishaan corrected me very seriously. "That sounds so fun Bade Papa."

"Ishaan...." I started but he interrupted.

"I promised Pri that I will never run away ever!" he said, serious.

I shook my head once, eyes back on the road.

After a few seconds, he added, "But my favourite is Abhishek Sharma."

"I know," I said. "You tell everyone."

"Because he hits the ball very far," Ishaan explained.

I hummed in response.

"She also likes Hardik Pandya," he continued, lowering his voice as if sharing confidential information. "She says he walks like he knows where he's going."

"She likes that?" I asked.

"Yes," he nodded. "She says confidence is important. Even if you're scared inside."

That is exactly what she had been doing ever since I took her to the palace.

We drove for another twenty minutes before I slowed down near a small roadside ice cream shop.

"Ice cream?" I asked.

His head snapped up. "Yes!"

I parked and bought two cones. He took his the second it was in his hand and bit into it immediately.

"You're going to drop it," I said.

"I won't," he replied, already proven wrong as a drop slid onto his fingers.

He licked it off quickly. "Oh, Bade Papa?"

"Yes."

"Pri likes KitKat the most. More than any other chocolate."

"Why?" I asked.

"She says it's perfect," he explained. "You break it, share it, eat it slowly."

"That's very specific." I said.

"Areee Bade Papa it's in the KITKAT AD!" Ishaan replied.

We got back into the car and I started driving again.

After a minute of silence, he said, "She also loves sleeping."

I glanced at him. "Sleeping?"

"Yes," he nodded firmly. "A lot. She says sleeping fixes everything."

"Everything?" I asked.

"Yes," he said, counting on his fingers. "Sad days. Angry days. Headaches. Crying."

"And happy days?" I asked.

He smiled. "Then she sleeps extra."

I exhaled softly through my nose.

Ishaan leaned back in his seat, satisfied and started humming again, swinging his legs lightly.

In the next two hours, I pulled outside her house.

Ishaan pressed his face to the window.

"That's Pri's house?" he asked. I gave him a yes and then parked a little away from the gate and turned the engine off. Two of my men were already stationed nearby. One of them straightened the moment he saw me.

I stepped out and opened Ishaan's door.

"Wait here." I told him and walked a few steps ahead.

From where I stood, I could see inside their garden.

She was there.

Not sitting or hiding but standing in the open, sunlight on her face, laughing freely.

Her head was tilted back slightly, hair loose, eyes bright.

Her brother stood in front of her, making exaggerated expressions, crossing his eyes, sticking his tongue out like a child.

She responded by mimicking him, pulling ridiculous faces, laughing so hard she had to hold her stomach.

Carefree.

Unaware.

Unburdened.

This was not the woman who sat stiffly at the far end of my dining table. Not the woman who spoke carefully, measured every word and slept on the couch with her back to me.

This version of her looked untouched.

Alive.

I looked away first.

I called one of my men closer. "Walk him inside." I said quietly, nodding toward Ishaan. "Don't tell her that I was here."

He nodded.

I turned back just as Ishaan climbed out of the car.

"Go," I said.

He ran toward the gate without looking back.

She noticed him before he reached the garden.

Her laughter stopped mid-breath.

"ISHAAN?" she exclaimed, disbelief written all over her face.

He sprinted toward her and collided into her legs, wrapping his arms around her waist. She bent instantly, holding him tight, laughing again, louder this time.

Her brother stepped closer, ruffling Ishaan's hair. "So this is the famous Ishaan."

"The most famous," Ishaan corrected immediately.

She rolled her eyes, smiling, and pulled him inside the garden, already asking him a dozen questions at once. He answered all of them loudly, excitedly, talking over himself, telling her about the drive, the ice cream, the songs he hummed on the way.

He did not mention me.

Not once.

I stayed where I was, just long enough to see her relax fully, just long enough to watch her forget herself again. Then I turned back to the car and drove off.

_______________________________

These two days went by just like this. Mumma had made sure that I eat five meals a day, papa too was finally out of the room, talking to everyone at least and Jai Bhaiya had brought Ruhani bhabhi back home but we all had put her almost on bed rest because the doctor had said that the last few days had been a little stressful for her.

I was supposed go leave today but I didn't want to, even though I could now call them anytime I wanted.

These two days went by just like this.

Slow, full, warm.

Mumma watched me like a hawk, making sure I ate five proper meals a day, adding snacks in between as if I might disappear if she blinked.

Papa was finally out of his room, sitting in the living area again, talking to Jai Bhaiya and looking after Ruhani bhabhi, making her vitamin and medicine charts after he had apologised to all of them.

Jai Bhaiya had brought Ruhani Bhabhi back home, and we had collectively decided that she was not allowed to lift a finger. The doctor had said the past few days had been stressful, so we took that very seriously. She protested, of course, but lost the argument every single time.

I was standing in the garden arguing with bhaiya over how I will spoil the baby and he said absolutely not because one spoilt kid in the house was enough and I rolled my eyes at him. That's how we started making faces at each other when I saw Ishaan!

By evening, the house had grown quiet again.

My bag was packed. Mumma fussed over it anyway, adding a tiffin, then removing it, then adding it back. Papa stood near the door, hands clasped, watching me carefully.

"Take care," he said, his voice softer than usual.

"I will," I replied.

I hugged Mumma tightly, then Ruhani Bhabhi, careful this time. Jai Bhaiya pulled me into a long embrace, pressing his forehead to mine for a moment before stepping back.

Ishaan clung to my hand. "Let's go home."

I could only manage a smile.

Outside, one of the guards opened the door of the car waiting near the gate and I paused.

This wasn't the car I had come in.

Confused, I looked back at my family. Mumma gestured gently. "Go, beta."

I didn't question it further.

I got inside, waved at them through the window, forcing a smile even as my chest tightened. The car started moving.

Only when we turned the corner did I finally look properly at the driver.

And froze.

Ranaji.

My breath hitched so sharply that it hurt. What was he doing here!?

He was behind the wheel, eyes on the road, expression unreadable. Calm. Controlled. As if this was the most normal thing in the world.

"You...."I started, then stopped, my voice failing me.

"Ishaan wanted to meet your family, I brought him here." He clarified.

"Yes Pri! Bade Papa and I came here but mumma had told me that he had work so I did not bring him inside." Ishaan announced from the backseat.

I turned slowly in my seat, still trying to process the sight of him.

"I didn't know," I said quietly. "I thought... I mean, no one told me."

Ishaan leaned forward between the seats, practically vibrating. "Pri, Bade Papa drives very nicely, na?"

"Yes," I said softly. "He does."

"I told Bade Papa about your favourite things," he added, lowering his voice dramatically. "All of them."

Ranaji glanced at him through the mirror. "Not all of them."

I raised an eyebrow, looking at Ranaji now. "Oh?"

He paused, just for a second. "He missed a few."

Ishaan gasped. "No I didn't!"

"You definitely did," Ranaji replied calmly.

I laughed. The sound surprised even me and found Ranaji's eyes on me for a second before he looked ahead again and I looked away too.

"Thank you," I said after a while, staring out of the window. "For bringing him."

He nodded once. "He wanted to come."

I nodded once.

Ishaan yawned loudly behind us. "Pri?"

"Yes?"

"Can I sleep?"

"Of course you monkey! Come here." I turned back and unbuckled my seatbelt and turned fully toward him.

He didn't need to be told twice. Ishaan climbed forward, stepping on the seat and nearly tangling himself in the belt before I caught him by the waist. He clambered into my lap like it was the most natural thing in the world, arms and legs wrapping around me in a tight, familiar hold.

"Careful." I murmured, adjusting him so he was comfortable.

He hummed in response, already half asleep, his head finding its place in the hollow of my shoulder. His cheek pressed against my collarbone, his arms tightening just once before relaxing completely.

Like a monkey. Exactly like one.

I rested my chin lightly on his hair and ran my fingers through it.

The car was quiet now, the road stretching ahead in long, smooth lines.

I didn't look at Ranaji, but I felt it when his gaze flicked toward us. Not lingering. Just a glance. Measured. Controlled. As always.

I adjusted Ishaan slightly when his head slipped, pulling him closer, shielding him instinctively.

Ranaji's eyes returned to the road and I closed my eyes for just a moment.

Back to your reality, Parthvi. Back to him.