His to Hate.

Chapter - 35

The moment we stepped inside the palace, I realised something was seriously wrong with me because after holding on to Ranaji's hand to climb the stairs with my mehendi-covered hands, I had completely forgotten that I was still holding it.

The realisation hit me only when one of the attendants greeted us and I looked down.

My fingers were still resting in his palm.

I pulled my hand back at once, trying to act normal, even though my face immediately felt stupidly warm.

I adjusted the edge of the heavy red dupatta, trying to keep it balanced over my head while walking.

The thing weighed a ridiculous amount.

I had already spent the entire morning wearing it during the Gangaur puja and then while getting my mehendi done and during the whole travelling and sleeping awkwardly in a car, my neck was beginning to question every decision I had made in life that had led me to this moment.

The dupatta slipped slightly over one shoulder.

I tried fixing it while walking next to him, but that disturbed the pleats of my saree and when I fixed those, the dupatta shifted again so I was clearly losing this battle.

Unfortunately, Ranaji noticed. The man noticed everything. For a few moments, he said nothing and I convinced myself that maybe I was imagining it.

Then the dupatta slipped again and this time, it slipped far enough that half the weight landed on one shoulder.

I stopped walking immediately and tried fixing it once more, awkwardly lifting my hands and attempting to arrange the fabric without getting anything stuck in my hair but that was not working in the least.

Every time I thought I had fixed it, it slipped again. The fabric kept moving off my shoulder, and no matter what I did, it only looked worse.

I was seconds away from admitting defeat when I felt a hand gently settle over mine, stopping my fumbling attempts.

"Rukiye." Ranaji said in a low voice, his tone calm and unhurried as it cut gently through the quiet of the corridor.

"Ji?" I looked up at him and asked.

"Hum theek kiye dete hain." Ranaji said, and I found myself caught for a moment by his steady gaze fixed on the dupatta and on me.

The entire thing took less than a minute, and I stood there like a complete idiot while he looked perfectly normal.

"There." he said finally, stepping back once he was satisfied with his work. "It should stay in place now."

"Thank you." I murmured, looking away, anywhere but at him.

Why on earth was I being so weird around him was currently out of my comprehension capabilities.

I blamed the lack of sleep because that was the only explanation I was willing to accept.

I adjusted my bangles and forced myself to start walking again and he fell into step beside me without saying anything.

In the next two minutes, we were in our room and he pushed the door open for me to walk inside and then followed behind.

I had just placed myself on the couch quite literally when there was a knock on the door and Ranaji attended to it, revealing Pankhuri standing at the other side.

"Oh my god why did you not change before leaving for here?

" she asked, entering inside followed by Ishaan who was happily hopping and then stopped in front of Ranaji, keeping both his hands on his waist, glaring up at his Bade Papa while Pankhuri sat down right next to me, looking equally exhausted.

"Don't ask. I tried but I had mehendi which had not dried and then mumma...." I narrated the entire story and she sighed.

"I need to go and change and you need to too because we need to perform the evening puja as well.

I was just waiting for you. Thankfully, Daadisa is in Jaipur visiting her sister so we don't have to fear anything and we can be completely devoted instead of being completely scared.

" she said, resting her head on my shoulder.

I rested mine over her head.

"Pankhuri, I am so tired. Like I have no idea why because I have had tougher days than today but I feel like I can't even drag myself up anymore." I told her honestly.

"Same, sistah, same." she responded and dragged herself back on her feet.

"I swear, it will only take twenty minutes. Just change into a suit or something and come. I need to go and change and just check all the preparations once." she told me and I nodded, dragging myself on my feet too.

A few steps away from us, Ishaan looked like he was scolding Ranaji for some reason but this was not a rare occurrence for me anymore.

The kid practically had everyone wrapped around his little finger, including me. The only person immune to his charming self was his mother, Pankhuri, who currently had no power left to deal with him.

"Rudra Bhaisa, will you please make sure that he does not run off the lawn near the mandir?

If he creates any chaos around there, he will not be getting to watch any TV for the next month and I am not kidding.

" she said and even though her words were directed at Ranaji, she was glaring at her little menace who was just standing there with his tongue stuck out at her.

"You don't have to threaten the kid Pankhuri. He will be with me till you come and get him." Ranaji's voice soothed her worries and she gave him a thankful nod before leaving us here.

"Pri, after the pooja, will you come with me to feed the ducks?" Ishu asked, hopping again to me and quite literally hugging my leg.

"You mean the rabbits Ishaan." I corrected him.

His face scrunched up.

"No, I mean the ducks Pri." he replied, shrugging.

"We don't have ducks Ishaan." I replied back and he sighed.

"There is so much that I still need to teach you. Of course there are ducks Pri! Every pond has ducks!" he deadpanned and I laughed.

"Ishu, we don't have a pond." this little dude was just confusing me at the moment.

"We do have a pond." This time, it was Ranaji's voice that shocked me.

"Since when??" I asked, looking from Ishaan to him and him to Ishaan back and forth.

"Since 1901." he replied and my brain short-circuited because it meant that the said pond had been in the Palace way before I was and yet, I hadn't seen it yet.

I got here in November and now, March was at the cusp of turning into April.

I had spent five entire months in this palace and nobody had mentioned there was a pond.

"You are telling me that there is an actual pond inside this palace and nobody thought that was important information I needed to know?" I asked, staring at Ranaji in disbelief.

"You like ponds?" he asked, his eyes softening.

"Like? I love ponds and rivers and mountains!" I told him honestly.

"You never mentioned that before." he pointed out, his eyes still on me.

"Well, you never asked!!" I replied with a shrug. "Besides, how does a person casually bring that up in conversation? Hello, my name is Parthvi and if I am nowhere to be found, I'd probably be sitting near the banks of Beas in Manali?"

That earned me a small smile from him and something in my stomach flipped looking at him.

Get a grip, Parthvi. What is even happening with you!

"Seriously though," I continued, turning fully towards him now. "Where is this pond?"

"The eastern gardens." Ranaji replied and Ishaan left my leg, looking up at my face.

"I know that you don't know where east is, Pri but don't worry! I will take you!" he said with a huge grin plastered to his face.

"Excuse me? I know where east is!!" I looked at him in complete offence and said.

The child gave me a look like I had just said something incredibly questionable.

"Pri." Ishaan said pointedly.

"What?" I asked defensively.

"You got lost trying to find the kitchen three times." Ishaan said with a knowing look.

"Okay chotu, I need to go and change for the pooja or I would have told you that I did not get lost, this palace is Hogwarts and keeps changing the staircase.

" I shrugged and he laughed, sitting down on the bed, pulling Ranaji's hand to sit next to him while I made my way to the washroom to first take off my mehendi and then freshen up and change.

I contemplated if I should use water or not but then decided that the mehendi has chemicals anyway and water won't do anything to it and washed my hands and face.

I then removed the jewellery one piece at a time, placing everything on the counter before changing into a simple red suit Mumma had packed for Gangaur. By the time I stepped out fifteen minutes later, I felt considerably more human.

At least until I walked back into the room.

The sight waiting for me made me stop.

Ishaan was sprawled across the bed on his stomach, kicking his legs in the air while enthusiastically narrating something.

Ranaji was sitting beside him, listening with complete attention despite the fact that the story was about Goldilocks.

I stood in front of the mirror, wore lighter earrings and bangles, put on a small bindi with the help of my kajal and let my hair loose after brushing them a few times. Yuvaan had also joined them when I was in the washroom.

"Okay, bye-bye." I announced as I was done and walked out of the room.

I had barely taken three steps when I felt it. That feeling. The unmistakable sensation of being watched.

My eyes lifted automatically, straight towards Ranaji, and immediately my heart did something deeply unhelpful because he was looking at me.

Not in a strange way. Not intensely. Just... looking.

His gaze travelled over me for a brief second before settling on my face. The red suit. The loose hair. The absence of all the heavy jewellery and saree that I had been buried under earlier.

Something flickered across his expression. Gone almost immediately, but not before I caught it.

Heat rushed straight to my face.

Wonderful.

Absolutely wonderful.

I immediately let my hair fall over one shoulder and continued walking towards the door as though I hadn't noticed anything, as though my heartbeat hadn't just doubled for absolutely no reason and rushed out.

"Parthvi, why? Why are you behaving like this? Was this not exactly the kind of behaviour you declared cringe in those novels?" I asked to myself.

The fact that I had absolutely no answer to that question was deeply concerning.

I was still mentally arguing with myself when I turned the corner and almost walked straight into Pankhuri.

"Whoa." she caught my arm before I could collide with her.

"What happened?" she asked, narrowing her eyes at me.

"Nothing." That answer left my mouth far too quickly and her eyes narrowed down even further.

She called my name sharply, "Parthvi."

I replied with a sigh, already knowing where this was headed. "Pankhuri."

Tilting her head and narrowing her eyes further, she asked, "Why are you walking around looking like that?"

"Looking like what?" I asked, blinking casually.

"Like that." she pointed, obviousness dripping from her words.

"Nothing! It's just that sometimes he looks at me in a way and I get all flustered! It's so weird because this has really never happened with me and I don't know how to deal with it!" I blurted out in a sentence.

Then Pankhuri stopped walking completely, and I stopped too because she was staring at me like I had just announced that I was moving to Antarctica to raise penguins.

"You have a crush on your husband!" she announced and there were so many words I actively avoid in that sentence that my eyes widened and my ears must have grown even more red.

"No! I don't have a crush and why are you shouting!?" I furiously whispered.

She looked completely unconvinced, and if anything, even more convinced than before as she dramatically placed a hand over her heart.

"Oh my God, you're blushing even more." she said, giggling.

"I am not." I said immediately, folding my arms.

"You absolutely are, I can literally see it!" Pankhuri insisted with a knowing grin.

"I am not." I repeated stubbornly.

"You are." she sang out, clearly enjoying herself.

"I am just confused." I muttered under my breath.

Pankhuri chuckled and nudged my shoulder. "That's usually how it starts."

I groaned loudly.

"Pankhuri, listen to me carefully. I am twenty-five years old. I have handled enough chaos in my life in the past few months and survived every ridiculous situation thrown at me. I am not standing in a corridor blushing because a man looked at me." I said firmly, folding my arms across my chest.

She stared at me for one second and then burst out laughing.

"That's exactly what you're doing." I hated how quickly she answered.

The worst part was that I couldn't even deny it properly because unfortunately, I had just spent the last five minutes doing exactly that.

"This is ridiculous." I muttered.

"No, it is not. It's cute." she declared with a smile.

I narrowed my eyes at her. She is a menace once you get to know her.

Then, before I could defend myself further, her expression softened slightly.

"Parthvi." Pankhuri called gently.

"What?" I asked.

"When was the last time you actually looked at him?" she asked.

I frowned.

"Just five minutes back when I was leaving the room?" I told her, confused, making her roll her eyes.

"I mean really looked at him." she replied softly.

I opened my mouth to answer, then stopped because surprisingly, I didn't have an answer.

She continued walking and I matched her pace automatically.

"For months all you could see was the man who brought you here against your will.

Then you saw the man who kept his word to you.

Then you saw the man who made sure your parents could meet you whenever you wanted.

Then you saw the man who quietly showed up whenever you needed him, without ever asking for anything in return.

Maybe all that about him won you over and you are just too scared to see it and accept it. " she said calmly.

I looked down at my mehendi covered hands and my throat suddenly felt a little tight.

Thankfully, she then stopped talking about it because I had no response to her words.

It took us about half an hour to finish the pooja and then the five of us had dinner together. After that Pankhuri, Yuvaan and Ishaan walked to Ishaan's study room to look after his homework.

Ranaji had received a call just as dinner ended, so he remained behind in the dining hall, speaking to someone.

And I made my way to the lawn to walk for a while. I followed the stone pathway, letting my steps wander towards the fountain and then sat down on the broad stone ledge surrounding it.

For a few moments, I sat there looking at the water before slipping off my sandals and lowering my feet into the fountain, the cool water immediately wrapping around my ankles.

A relieved sigh escaped me before I could stop it.

"Oh, wow!"

The entire day had been spent either standing, walking, driving or sitting in uncomfortable positions to protect my mehendi. At this point, even my bones felt tired.

I shifted slightly and placed both my palms behind me against the cool marble ledge, supporting my weight as I leaned back.

The stone felt cold beneath my skin while the water moved lazily around my feet.

I tilted my head back, closed my eyes and let the breeze brush against my face and loose hair and tried not to think but my brain had other plans because moment I relaxed, Pankhuri's words returned.

"Nahi, bilkul bhi nahi. Mujhe sochna hi nahi hai kuch bhi. Nahi, nahi, nahi. Ek toh mai pehele se hi thodi paagal hoon, upar se mere aas-paas log aur paagal kar rahe hain. Na mujhe apni sunni hai, na mujhe kisi aur ki sunni hai. Mera hi dimaag kharab ho gaya hai....."

"Aapko jab aas-paas koi jhagadne ko nahi milta toh kya aap khud se hi lad leti hain?"

His voice interrupted my rant, and I immediately opened my eyes. Because my head had been tilted back, the first thing I saw was Ranaji standing a few feet away from me.

One hand in his pocket, the other holding his phone, looking far too amused for my liking.

The panic hit so fast I nearly slipped trying to pull my feet out of the water but before I could succeed in making a complete fool of myself, his hand settled firmly on my shoulder.

His warm, steady touch instantly erased every coherent thought I had.

"Relax." he said evenly.

His hand remained on my shoulder for a second longer before he withdrew it and to my surprise, sat down beside me on the marble ledge.

Or rather, half beside me.

Instead of facing the fountain, he turned the other way and sat with one foot resting on the ground and the other bent slightly, his shoulder almost brushing mine while his gaze remained fixed on the gardens stretching out ahead of us.

"So." I began carefully, trying very hard to sound casual.

"Hmm?" he said, turning slightly towards me.

"How much exactly did you hear?" I asked, narrowing my eyes at him near the end of the question.

A smile appeared at the corner of his mouth and I I immediately regretted asking.

"You know," I said eventually, breaking the silence, "most people would have the decency to pretend they did not hear things not meant of them."

That earned me a sideway glance.

"Most people were not standing next to a fountain having an argument with themselves." he said dryly.

"I was not arguing with myself." I protested, my eyes still on him.

"You were, Parthvi. I heard it." he confessed without a shame in the world.

"I wasn't." I insisted, openly lying.

"You called yourself crazy three times." he pointed out and I immediately pointed at him.

"See? That's exactly the kind of information you were supposed to pretend you didn't hear! Now you know that I am crazy and I know that you know that I am crazy." I said accusingly.

A small laugh escaped him and that made me laugh too.

For a moment, neither of us said anything.

The fountain water rippled softly around my feet while the breeze moved through the gardens, carrying the faint scent of night blooming flowers with it.

I don't know how long we sat there. A minute or maybe two but then the stiffness in my neck reminded me exactly why sleeping in a car for three hours was a terrible life choice.

The pain shot down the side of my neck suddenly enough to make me wince and I turned my face away at once and lifted a hand to rub the sore muscle.

The second I tried to straighten my neck, another sharp ache shot through it and I closed my eyes for a moment before opening them again.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him shift slightly on the marble ledge, closer to me.

I moved my eyes to find his already on me and I bit my lip and looked anywhere except at him, towards the fountain, the water, my feet, anything at all except for him.

But his eyes were still watching me and something about that information pulled me towards him on it's own and I hesitated for a moment before slowly leaning closer.

Then, little by little, I relaxed and rested my cheek lightly against the fabric of his kurta and my heart thudded once against my ribs as I rested my head against his shoulder.

For a second, I couldn't breathe properly because I was suddenly very aware of what I had done.

I stared stubbornly at the water in front of me, refusing to look up, think, or acknowledge that my heartbeat was currently trying to break speed records.

"Bas itni si baat thi, Parthvi." he said as though there had never been any doubt about it.

"Mujhe aadat nahi hai logon ki help accept karne ki, Ranaji.

Mai toh apni family ke paas bhi tab hi jaati hoon jab raita itna phail chuka hota hai ki mere liye sametna physically impossible ho.

gaya ho. Aur ek din mein do baar help lena toh quota limit se bhi zyada ho jata hai.

" I confessed to him without thinking.

The vibration of his low chuckle hit against my cheek and that made me look at him just then which was a big mistake because he was was already looking at me.

"Aap ab meri bhi family hi hain, Parthvi. Aap patni hain meri aur agar aapki takleef ka ilaaj mere paas hai toh mujhe kam se kam itna adhikaar toh dijiye ki mai usse kam kar sakun." he said, his eyes boring into mine.

My breath literally got caught somewhere in my throat because of the way he was looking at me. He looked like he meant every word of it.

Then I did what I did the most when I look at him, look away but I still kept my head resting on his shoulder as we sat together.

"Come on, let's get you to bed. It has been a long day for you." he said in a while and I hummed but did not make an attempt to move because eventually, the position I was in was so comfortable.

The second reason was not something I intended on examining too closely.

A few moments passed before I felt him glance down at me.

"Parthvi." he said my name.

"Hmm?" I replied without lifting my head.

"We need to go inside." he said calmly.

"I know." I replied.

"Then why are we still sitting here?" he asked and I considered the question seriously.

"Because getting up sounds like a lot of work." I said with complete seriousness.

That earned me another one of his laughs and boy was I on a roll but life had been significantly easier before I started noticing things about this man.

Did I seriously have a crush on him? Yeah, I was acting weird when he looked at me but I'm a weird person in general so that is a valid counter argument.

But never ever in my life have I blushed just because a guy looked at me unless I had a crush on him.

Let's list the guys I had crush on........

1. Mr. Darcy

2. Edward Cullen

3. Peter Kavinskey

4. Harvey Specter

5. Damon Salvatore

6. John Logan

7. Aaron Warner

8. Christian Allister

............ "Parthvi?" I heard my name and responsed with a distracted hum.

"What are you thinking and counting on your fingers?" the voice asked again.

"Just the guys I have a crush on." I replied, waving a hand dismissively.

There was a long silence before my brain caught up with my mouth and my eyes widened.

Oh no.

Oh no no no no no.

I slowly turned my head and found Ranaji looking at me with an unreadable expression, which really made everything much worse.

"I I would like to clarify that statement before you ask any follow up questions." I announced immediately.

One of his brows lifted.

Unfortunately, that only made me talk faster.

"I read a lot of books." I said, lifting my head up from his shoulder to properly look at him.

"I know that. But what does that have to do with the eight crushes you counted on those fingers? he asked me, leaning back just a little to look at me properly, perhaps.

I opened my mouth, closed it, then opened it again because the answer was embarrassingly simple and deeply troubling.

"Well..." I began cautiously.

Ranaji waited patiently. He had the patience of a saint.

"The eight I counted are the names of the fictional men I have crushes on." I confessed, scratching the back of my neck in embarrassment, looking down at my feet in the water.

For a few moments, he didn't say anything.

When I finally gathered enough courage to look at him, he was watching me with a strange expression.

"Fictional men." he repeated after a while and I nodded.

"Yes and you and I are not having this conversation. Let's forget it already, okay?" I prompted him, blinking rapidly.

He looked like he was giving my suggestion a thought.

"I am going to agree to not having this conversation for the sake of my own mind, Parthvi but believe me, I am never going to forget this." he replied, giving me a tiny nod and a wave of relief washed over me.

"Perfect. Let's not." I took what I was getting from him because I had embarrassed myself enough for one day.

We began walking back towards the palace.

The pathway was illuminated by the garden lights and the night breeze had turned cooler now. The fountain slowly disappeared behind us while silence settled comfortably between us.

"Haan, ek baat yaad rakhiyega." Ranaji said after a few moments, his voice calm enough that I almost missed the seriousness beneath it.

"Kya, Ranaji?" I asked, turning my head towards him as we continued walking side by side.

Instead of answering immediately, his gaze dropped to my hands to the mehendi, dark against my palms.

Then, without a word, he reached for my left hand, and my breath caught at how naturally he did it, as though it was the simplest thing in the world.

His fingers wrapped around my hand and before I could recover from that, his thumb brushed lightly against the inside of my ring finger.

Exactly where his name had been hidden amongst the mehendi.

My heart forgot how to function.

Completely.

"Aapki har mehendi se naam mera hi likha jaayega aapki hatheli par." Ranaji said, his eyes still on my hand as his thumb moved once more over the spot where his name rested. "Naam mera hi likha jaayega."

For a few seconds, I simply stood there as we had stopped walking and my heartbeat stumbled once, twice and then completely lost all sense of rhythm.

Only after those few stunned moments did the heat rush to my face, my cheeks turning bright red beneath the lights.

A small gasp escaped me before I could stop it. I opened my mouth to say something, anything, but no words came out. My brain had completely abandoned me, leaving me standing there staring at him like an absolute fool.

And somehow, that only made things worse.

He looked perfectly calm, completely unaffected, while my heart was racing out of control.

I tried again to speak, but nothing happened.

Not a single sensible thought remained in my head.

Then a faint smile appeared at the corner of his mouth, and I knew he had noticed every bit of my reaction.

Then, still holding my hand, he continued walking towards the palace, my feet just following him.

My heart was still a mess.

And honestly?

So was my brain.