Chapter - 36
The next morning, I woke up with exactly three goals.
The first was to fully enjoy the second day of Gangaur.
The second was to survive work.
The third was to avoid thinking about the fact that Rudra Adhiraj Raisinghania had held my hand, looked me directly in the eye and essentially short-circuited my entire brain the previous night.
Unfortunately, I failed at the third goal before I even got out of bed.
I opened my eyes, stared at the ceiling for five seconds and immediately remembered every single second of what had happened near the fountain and that made me close my eyes once again.
Wonderful. I buried my face into the pillow and groaned.
Somewhere beside me, I heard the crumple of newspaper pages turning and my eyes immediately snapped open.
Ranaji was already awake, of course he was!
The man had probably been awake for three hours already and spent those hours being annoyingly productive while the rest of humanity slept.
He was sitting in the armchair near the window wearing a grey kurta and white pyjamas, one ankle resting over the opposite knee while a newspaper sat open in his hands.
The picture of calm, composure and a man who had not spent the previous evening casually destroying someone's ability to think.
Meanwhile, I was currently hiding under a duvet.
Life was sooooo unfair.
"You are up early." his voice rang into my ears and I internally sighed because I hated getting up early.
"Nope, I am still sleeping." I murmured from where I was, closing my eyes again.
"You can go back to sleep, it is not even six right now." I heard his voice again and that made me peak out and finally sit on the bed, resting my back against the wood board.
That is when he raised his eyes from the newspaper and looked at me.
For a moment, his attention rested entirely on me. There was nothing unusual about it yet it still managed to unsettle me in ways I couldn't quite explain.
He looked at me with the same composed expression he always wore, but lately even that seemed enough to make me strangely aware of myself. My stomach tightened and I immediately regretted noticing it.
I broke eye contact first.
Naturally.
Because maintaining it for more than three seconds was currently beyond my capabilities.
"Good morning." I looked up at him briefly once again and then stretched my hand out to reach for my phone.
The screen lit up immediately. It was 5:42 AM and I stared at it before looking from my phone to Ranaji and back again.
"Do normal people even know that this hour exists unless they have an exam or are leaving for a vacation?" I asked him seriously.
A faint smile appeared at the corner of his mouth.
"Most working adults do." Ranaji said evenly.
"Okay, I am working and I am an adult. Both of these match perfectly.
" I shrugged, getting up from the bed, tying my hair into a loose bun as I wore my slippers.
I should be putting some distance between us because clearly, if last night told me anything it was that I don't do staying calm very well around him when he says a few things.
"There is another word I used that you missed." he said, folding the paper back and getting up from his seat, his height almost towering me as he looked at me and I had to tilt my head back a little to look at him in confusion.
"Which one?" I asked, raising my brows.
"Most." he replied just as soon.
"Sure, Ranaji, calling me a weirdo is a wonderful way to start your day." I glared at him for a second before trying to get away.
Unfortunately, I had barely taken two steps when he moved. Not quickly, just one step to the side, and suddenly he was standing directly in my path. I stopped at once and slowly looked up at him. The man had no business being this tall. Absolutely none.
"Hatiye." I told him.
"Ji Nahi." Ranaji replied immediately.
I stared at him and he stared right back at me, his eyes twinkling just a little.
I folded my arms across my chest and glared up at him.
The problem with glaring at a man who was this much taller than me was that it required tilting my head back, which unfortunately reduced the intimidation factor significantly and strained my neck.
Especially when he looked like he was trying not to smile.
"Why?" I demanded.
His eyes held mine for a moment.
Because unlike me, apparently he had no issues maintaining eye contact.
"Kyunki aap mujhse door bhaagne ki koshish kar rahi hain." he replied calmly.
My stomach immediately dropped.
"No I am not! I just want to go out of the room." I told him and he looked entirely unconvinced.
"Aap bhaag rahi hain." he said evenly.
"I am not." I argued stubbornly.
"You are." Ranaji replied.
"I am not." I insisted.
"You are." he said with certainty.
I opened my mouth, then closed it and opened it again because annoyingly enough, I didn't actually have a good counterargument, which was completely unacceptable.
"Why will I run away from my own room?" I asked, the words slipping before I could control them.
"I meant your..." I started, trying to correct myself before I accidentally confessed something I wasn't even ready to admit to myself.
The words never left my mouth.
He took one slow step forward that closed the little distance between us until I could feel the warmth radiating from him.
Before I could say another word, he lifted his hand and his index finger rested lightly against my lips.
"Shh..." he murmured softly, shaking his head once.
"Aapko mahino lage hain apne kamre ko apna maanne mein, Parthvi. Ab jab maan liya hai toh puri tarah se maan lijiye." his eyes softened as he looked into mine and said.
Neither did I.
For a few seconds, we just stood there looking at each. I looked at him before my eyes slowly dropped to the floor.
I wasn't even sure why I could not keep looking at him anymore. Maybe because every time I did, it became a little harder to pretend that nothing had changed.
The morning air drifted in through the open windows, moving the curtains around. Somewhere outside, I could hear birds chirping in the palace gardens while the first rays of sunlight spilled across the floor.
Ranaji watched me for another moment.
Then, without saying another word, he stepped aside, just enough for me to pass.
I looked at him once and then walked past him into my closet, pulled out my clothes for the day and held them against my arm before making my way to the washroom.
The moment I stepped inside, I closed the door behind me and rested my forehead against it.
I stood there for a few seconds with my eyes closed before letting out the longest sigh.
"Pankhuri..." I whispered to myself with a groan.
"I think you might actually be right. I think I do have a stupid, stupid crush on my husband."
The words left my mouth before I could stop them and the moment they did, I slowly opened one eye and looked at my own reflection in the mirror as I turned around.
"...Oh God." I whispered to myself in horror.
I covered my face with both hands.
"No." I said immediately, shaking my head.
"No, no, no." I muttered repeatedly as though saying it enough times would somehow change reality.
I began pacing around the washroom with my clothes still clutched against my chest.
"This cannot be happening." I declared firmly to absolutely no one.
I stopped in front of the mirror again and pointed at my own reflection.
"Okay, let's think about this logically." I told myself, taking a deep breath as though I was about to solve a complicated problem.
I raised one finger.
"He is handsome." I admitted reluctantly.
Another finger.
"He is thoughtful." I continued with a small sigh.
A third.
"He keeps his promises." I said quietly.
A fourth.
"He notices everything." I muttered, remembering far too many moments.
A fifth.
"He adjusts my dupatta without making it awkward." I confessed under my breath.
I stopped counting.
"Okay, that is not helping my case." I groaned dramatically.
Dropping my hand to my side, I looked at the ceiling for help.
"Fine." I huffed in defeat.
I raised my hand again.
"He respects me." I said honestly.
Another finger.
"He never forces me into anything." I admitted.
"Really? What about this marriage?" I contradicted myself immediately, pointing accusingly at my own reflection.
I fell silent.
Then slowly lowered my finger.
"...Okay, fine." I admitted with a reluctant sigh.
"He did force me into the marriage." I acknowledged honestly and frowned at myself in the mirror.
"But..."
I hated that there was a but.
"He never forced me into being his wife." I said, remembering everything that had happened over the last few months.
I began counting again.
"He gave me my own space." I said, raising another finger.
"He never questioned me whenever I wanted to go home." I recalled, raising another finger.
"He has never once demanded anything from me just because we're married." I admitted.
I stopped.
"...Oh."
That one word escaped before I could stop it.
I blinked at my own reflection.
"Oh..." I whispered again, much slower this time.
My shoulders dropped a little.
"I think..." I began before pausing.
"No." I shook my head firmly.
"I refuse to analyse this before seven in the morning." I declared, lifting a hand.
"My brain is not awake enough for emotional breakthroughs." I nodded to myself.
"Exactly." I then agreed with myself.
That sounded like an excellent plan.
"Future Parthvi can deal with this."
"Present Parthvi is going to take a shower and pretend she has not just lost an argument to herself." I announced with complete confidence.
That sounded like a very sensible plan.
It lasted exactly until I stepped under the shower.
Because apparently water was excellent for overthinking.
By the time I had finished getting ready, I had successfully replayed every conversation from the previous evening at least four times, mentally argued with Pankhuri another six times and lost every single argument.
PERFECT.
I quickly dried my hair with a towel before pulling on my favourite oversized black T-shirt that reached almost to my knees and a pair of loose grey pyjamas. They were old, comfortable and had absolutely no business looking presentable, which was precisely why I loved them.
Walking out into the room, I was alone. Ranaji must have left for his running.
I tied my damp hair into a messy bun with a claw clip, slipped my feet into my fluffy house slippers and looked at myself in the mirror.
"There." I nodded with satisfaction.
"Now you look like a functioning human being." I told my reflection.
I picked up my phone from the bedside table and quietly stepped out of the room.
Only a handful of attendants were moving through the corridors, speaking in hushed voices as they carried flowers and brass thalis towards the mandir for the morning preparations.
Without really thinking about it, my feet carried me towards the eastern corridor.
There was one place I almost always visited before getting ready for office.
I knocked softly on the already open door.
"Good morning, Uncle." I greeted him with a smile as I stepped inside.
The curtains had been drawn open just enough for the morning sunlight to fall across the room.
Adhiraj Uncle lay exactly where he always did, supported comfortably against the headboard. His body remained still beneath the light blanket but the moment he heard my voice, his eyes shifted towards me.
A slow blink followed.
I smiled a little wider.
"I'll take that as a good morning."
His nurse was adjusting the medicines on the side table.
"Good morning, Raanisa." she greeted me politely.
"Good morning." I smiled back. "Can I steal him for fifteen minutes?"
She laughed softly.
"I was hoping you would come. He always cooperates more when you make him exercise."
I looked towards Adhiraj Uncle.
"Really?" I asked dramatically. "You're giving me special treatment?"
His fingertips moved almost imperceptibly.
I chose to believe that was his answer.
After sanitising my hands, I pulled the chair closer to his bed and gently took his right hand into mine.
"Come on." I smiled encouragingly.
"We have work to do."
Very slowly, I began helping him with the finger exercises exactly the way the physiotherapist had taught me.
One finger at a time.
Curl. Hold. Release.
Again.
"There..." I said softly. "That's much better than last week."
His fingers resisted for a second before moving just a little farther than they usually go.
"There we go!" I grinned. "See? I told you we're making progress."
His eyes remained fixed on me throughout.
I had realised months ago that although he couldn't speak, he understood every conversation happening around him.
So I had stopped talking to him like he was a patient.
Instead, I simply talked to him about anything and everything except for my family.
"You know your son is confusing me, uncle." I told him, holding his right ankle in my hand, slowly massaging it.
His eyes shifted towards me.
"I genuinely thought I knew this palace." I continued conversationally. "Then yesterday he informed me that there is a pond here."
I looked up at him.
"A pond."
His eyes blinked once.
"I have been living here for almost five months!" I complained dramatically. "How did nobody think that was important information?"
I carefully rotated his ankle before supporting his heel and repeating the movement once again.
"And then he tells me there are ducks."
I sighed.
"I tell him we don't have ducks."
I looked at Adhiraj Uncle with complete seriousness.
"He looks at me like I am the one who has lost my mind."
A slow blink.
"I know!" I laughed. "Exactly my reaction."
The nurse standing near the window smiled to herself but continued arranging the medicines.
That's how I spent my time till the clock turned 8:30 and it was time for breakfast and to get ready for work.
First I wheeled uncle to the dining room where everyone was already seated except for Daadisa who was still in Jaipur.
"Pri, aaj tum aise kapde kyun peheni ho jaise tum bas abhi jail se bhaag kar aayi ho? Mumma ki bhi shirt mein mujhe ek chota se hole dikha." Ishaan asked me as I sat down next to him as he looked at Pankhuri and then me.
"Comfort, Ishaan. Comfort." I told him, ruffling his hair.
He continued staring at me with the kind of disappointment only a five-year-old could express.
"No." he replied very seriously. "Fashion."
I blinked.
"Excuse me?"
"Fashion is important." he informed me wisely. "You have to wear nice clothes."
I looked at him in complete disbelief.
"Did your Badi Daadisa pay you to say that?" I asked suspiciously.
"No." he replied immediately before pausing. "But she would be proud."
"No." he replied immediately before pointing towards Pankhuri. "But Mumma also looks like she just woke up."
All of us turned towards Pankhuri.
She was wearing an oversized faded blue T-shirt that clearly belonged to Yuvaan, loose cotton pyjamas with tiny lemons printed all over them and her hair was tied into the messiest bun imaginable with a pencil stuck through it.
She looked down at herself.
"I look adorable." she declared confidently.
"You look homeless." Yuvaan corrected, taking a sip of his coffee.
Pankhuri gasped.
"I am deeply offended."
"You're wearing my T-shirt."
"It became my T-shirt the day I found it in the laundry."
"You stole it."
"I borrowed it permanently."
I couldn't stop laughing.
"I love that we're both dressed like this." I told her.
"Exactly!" Pankhuri pointed at me. "Daadisa isn't here. This is our chance."
"Our annual freedom." she added.
"Our natural habitat." I declared and nodded solemnly.
"Our true selves." she added again.
Yuvaan looked between the two of us.
"Deviyon, daadisa ka plane agle teen ghanto mein yahin land karega. Pata hai na?" he asked and I for one was completely shocked because I thought that she was returning tomorrow, not today and judging the look on Pankhuri's face, she thought so as well.
"What?" I repeated in the exact same stunned tone, turning to look at him as well.
Yuvaan looked at us over the rim of his coffee mug without a trace of sympathy.
"Daadisa's flight lands at eleven-thirty." he replied calmly. "She'll be home before lunch."
For three whole seconds, neither of us spoke.
Then both of us looked down at ourselves.
Then at each other.
Then back at Yuvaan.
"Our freedom..." Pankhuri whispered dramatically, placing a hand over her heart.
"...has been cut short." I finished mournfully, shaking my head in disappointment.
Ishaan let out a long sigh.
"I warned you." he reminded us matter-of-factly.
"No." Pankhuri corrected him immediately, pointing a finger at him. "You judged us."
"Same thing." Ishaan replied with complete confidence.
I looked down at my oversized T-shirt before looking back up.
"I haven't even emotionally prepared myself to wear real clothes yet." I complained dramatically.
"You have exactly..." Yuvaan said calmly, checking the time on his watch, "...two hours and forty-three minutes."
Pankhuri gasped loudly.
"That's not enough time!" she declared in horror.
"It is literally more than enough time." Yuvaan replied without looking even slightly convinced.
"You don't understand." Pankhuri said gravely, shaking her head.
"We have to mentally transition." I added seriously, nodding beside her.
"From what?" Yuvaan asked flatly.
"From goblin mode to civilised society." I answered with complete sincerity.
Ranaji reached for another piece of toast.
"I believe the transition simply requires changing clothes." he remarked evenly.
"No." Pankhuri refused instantly, waving a dismissive hand.
"It is a process." I added solemnly.
"It takes effort." Pankhuri continued dramatically.
"It takes courage." I finished with a grave nod.
Yuvaan pinched the bridge of his nose.
"I married one goblin." he muttered tiredly before pointing towards Pankhuri.
Then he shifted his finger towards me.
"And my brother married another."
"We're standing right here." Pankhuri informed him with narrowed eyes.
"I know." Yuvaan replied calmly.
"We can hear you." she continued.
"I know."
"You're being rude."
"I know."
Pankhuri folded her arms across her chest.
"Let's go, Parthvi. It is completely useless arguing with Raisinghania men. It's like bhains ke aage been bajana." Pankhuri declared dramatically before stuffing two doughnuts into her mouth and walking away.
I watched her disappear down the corridor before doing exactly the same thing.
About twenty minutes later, after changing into my office clothes, I stepped out once again.
I was wearing white wide-legged trousers with a neatly tucked-in black shirt, silver hoop earrings, a little kajal, a touch of lipstick and left my hair open.
Professional, presentable and finally looking ready for work.
And hopefully looking like someone who definitely did not spend the morning admitting to herself that she had a crush on her own husband and boss.
I adjusted my watch, picked up my laptop bag and confidently started walking towards the office.
I had barely crossed the central courtyard when a familiar voice stopped me.
"You are going in the wrong direction." Ranaji said calmly from somewhere behind me.
I turned around.
He was walking towards me, equally ready for work, his laptop in one hand.
"The office is that way." he added evenly, pointing in the exact opposite direction.
I looked where he pointed.
Then back at the corridor I had been walking towards.
Then back at him.
"No, it isn't." I replied with complete confidence. "It is this way."
Ranaji looked at me for a long moment.
Then one of his eyebrows rose.
"Parthvi."
"Hmm?" I replied, still convinced I was right.
"The library is this way." he informed me calmly.
I frowned.
"...No."
"Yes."
"No, that's impossible." I argued immediately but realised that it really was not impossible because I was just generally so bad with directions.
"I heard myself, you don't have to mock me." I added immediately and looked at him.
"You have accepted that surprisingly quickly." he observed calmly as he fell into step beside me.
"I don't have much choice." I sighed. "At this point, getting lost in this palace is practically part of my personality."
My words made him laugh.
The corners of his lips curved just enough to soften the sharp lines that usually made him look so intimidating. It wasn't a broad smile. It never was. It was small, almost reluctant, as though it had slipped past the careful control he carried so naturally.
But it reached his eyes.
It lasted only a few seconds before his usual composed expression returned. Somehow, that made me want to see it again.
As we walked into the office wing, he walked me till my cubicle before making way to his own office ahead after a muttered a quick have a good day to him and started reading on the numbers that Yuvaan sir had left for me.
Since I was in training, my exposure to ongoing projects was limited but I was getting to sit in for a meeting today with the finance team.
The morning disappeared inside the Finance Boardroom.
Quarterly budget revisions, capital expenditure approvals and a review of the hospitality division's revenue projections.
Two presentations from Treasury, one investment proposal that needed the CFO's approval before it could move to Ranaji's desk.
Yuvaan chaired most of the meeting with the ease of someone who lived and breathed numbers.
By the time all of this finally concluded, it was almost two-thirty and I went back to my cubicle after I was given to recheck the numbers discussed.
I placed the file on my desk, opened the spreadsheet once again and began cross-checking every figure against the source documents.
It wouldn't take more than ten minutes and then I would go and have my lunch.
Ten minutes somehow turned into an hour.
I was so busy comparing one set of numbers against another that I barely noticed someone place a tray of food on my table.
One of the attendants, probably.
"Thank you." I murmured absentmindedly without looking up, my eyes still fixed on the spreadsheet.
I continued working and a few seconds passed but whoever it was who brought me food was still standing here.
That was... odd.
Usually the attendants would place the tray down and disappear before I could even look up. Whoever it was, was still standing there.
Thinking they probably needed something, I finally lifted my eyes from the laptop.
My words died somewhere between my throat and my mouth.
Ranaji stood beside my desk.
His hands were now tucked into the pockets of his trousers as though placing the tray down had been the most ordinary thing in the world.
"...Ranaji?" I asked, blinking in surprise.
"Aapne subah se kuch nahi khaya hai theek se." Ranaji said.
I blinked at him.
"I had breakfast." I replied automatically.
His expression didn't change.
"Two bites of toast." Ranaji corrected evenly.
"And two doughnuts?" I added, sounding rather pleased with myself.
"That was seven hours ago." he said, sitting on the chair opposite mine, pushing the tray of food in front of me.
"Did you have your lunch yet?" I asked him, taking the glass of water instead.
He hesitated.
Rudra Adhiraj Raisinghania actually hesitated in front of me.
"Yes." was the weak-ass word that came out of him and that was my tell that he was utterly and absolutely lying to me.
"Really? How was the pasta? Actually Ishaan was craving for it so Pankhuri bhabhi had it made for lunch." I lied through my teeth to him.
"It was good." Ranaji replied without missing a beat.
I looked at him.
Then...
The slowest, most sarcastic smile spread across my face.
He noticed it immediately.
"What?" Ranaji asked evenly.
Without saying a single word, I reached forward.
My fingers curled around the lid of the tray he had placed in front of me and I lifted it.
Dal, steamed rice, gobi ki sabzi and chapatis neatly folded on the side.
Not even a microscopic trace of pasta. I looked down at the tray and then back at him.
"Haan toh Ranaji, yeh dal, chawal aur gobi ka pasta toh aapko accha laga hi hoga na?" I asked him, raising a brow.
"And now that we have established that you are, in fact, a very bad liar..."
Without waiting for his response, I pulled the tray to the centre of the desk between us.
He watched me without saying a word.
"There."
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"There is enough in this plate for two people." I replied, shrugging.
His eyes moved from the tray to me.
"I brought this for you." he said calmly.
"And I am eating it." I replied, picking up the spoon. "You are too."
He remained exactly where he was.
For a few moments, neither of us said anything.
"I am not very hungry." he said after a pause, his voice as composed as ever.
I looked up from the tray.
"You've already lied to me once today." I reminded him, raising an eyebrow. "Don't make it twice."
His gaze rested on me for a long moment.
Then, almost imperceptibly, the corner of his mouth lifted in a smile and a strange sense of satisfaction settled somewhere inside me.
Without another word, he reached for a piece of chapati.
I mixed the dal into the rice and took the first bite.
I had barely taken another bite when a few strands of my hair fell across my face. I pushed them behind my ear without thinking, but they slipped right back a second later.
"This is so irritating!" I muttered under my breath as I tried to tuck them back again, just as the chair opposite me scraped against the floor.
I looked up just as Ranaji pushed his chair back and walked around the desk towards me. I turned in my seat, watching him with growing confusion.
"...Ranaji?" I asked softly, but he didn't answer.
Instead, he bent slightly beside me, reaching past my shoulder, and my breath caught before I could even understand what he was doing.
He reached for the black claw clip beside my laptop and picked it up.
"You don't have to do that." I said immediately, taking my hand off the spoon.
"I can....."
"Continue eating." he interrupted quietly.
I looked up at him.
"I can tie it myself." I told him softly.
"I know." he replied in the same calm voice.
His expression didn't change.
"Finish your lunch, Parthvi." he said simply.
There was something about the certainty in his voice that made arguing feel completely unnecessary.
I looked at him for another second and then, very slowly, I picked up my spoon again. Behind me, I heard the click of the claw clip opening.
His fingers slipped gently through my hair and he gathered it, making sure not to pull even a single strand while I sat completely still.
My heart, on the other hand, seemed determined to beat loud enough for him to hear it and as a few loose strands remained near my neck, his fingertips brushed lightly against the back of my neck as he tucked them together.
Every muscle in my body froze.
A strange warmth spread through me so suddenly that I almost forgot the spoon in my hand.
He adjusted it once, making sure it held properly before letting his hands fall away.
"There." he said quietly.
His voice was as calm as it always was.
"They will not disturb you now." he added simply.
I stared at the plate for a moment before finding my voice.
"...Thank you." I said softly without turning around.
He didn't reply.
I only heard his footsteps as he walked back around the desk.
A second later, the chair opposite me moved.
When I finally looked up, he had already picked up a piece of chapati and begun eating from the same plate.
This was dangerous. Whatever I was starting to feel for him was dangerous and I had to get a grip on myself before I felt anything further because at the end of the day, even though we had decided to give our relationship a chance, I was not sure how to.