Chapter 19
JAMIE
This can’t be real.
The words play on a loop in my head as I lie in bed, motionless, staring at the wall. Outside, the sun has just started to rise, casting the room in the shades of orange and purple. A low groan sounds from behind me, strong arms tightening around my waist.
This can’t be real.
I’m definitely dreaming. I’ve been slipping in and out of consciousness, and my brain is still out of it.
The cock inside me moves, half hard, making my insides quiver.
This can’t be real.
But what if…
Holding my breath, I shift my hips. The friction burns, and a long moan tears out of me.
Fuck. This is real. I had sex with Tyler. And he’s still holding me. He’s still inside me.
Unable to hold back now that I have confirmation, I start moving my hips in earnest. Each drag of Tyler’s huge cock sets my nerve endings on fire.
Everything feels so sore and raw, and fucking amazing.
I can feel Tyler’s dick swell, hardening fully, and my heart beats fast in anticipation.
Hopefully he’ll fuck me again once he wakes up.
I can’t move properly on my own, though it’s still insanely good.
Being full is insanely good, and none of my toys have ever filled me up like this.
None of my toys have ever held me like this either, making me feel warm and safe.
Tyler stirs, rumbling a moan straight into my ear. I shiver, shoving my hips back, earning another moan.
His hands find my hips, but instead of grabbing on so he can fuck me hard, he holds me still. And pulls out.
I whimper, the emptiness awful after I’ve had him inside me the whole night. I clench tight.
“Shh.” A kiss lands on my neck, making me break out in goosebumps. “It’s been hours, Jamie. We need to get some fluids in you. And food. And we both need a shower.” Another kiss. It feels like an apology. “Okay?”
I still don’t like it, but it’s hard to complain when he’s being this sweet.
“Okay.”
“Good.” He leans over to kiss my cheek. “Stay, I’ll bring you some water. Then we’ll have a shower and breakfast.”
“Okay.”
I can’t help but watch him as he gets out of bed. Naturally, my eyes go to his dick which, while soft now, is freaking huge. That was inside me. God. Then I stare at his ass as he leaves the room. That thing is made of steel, I swear.
I giggle, muffling the sound into a pillow and trying not to panic. There’s no need to panic, right? Tyler isn’t acting weird, isn’t making excuses about what happened or pretending it didn’t. He isn’t pushing me away now that post-nut clarity should be hitting him hard.
I mean, it shouldn’t be such a surprise. He wasn’t treating me differently after I sucked him off either. Of course he wasn’t. This is Tyler we’re talking about. Why does he have to be so kind, so perfect in every way? No wonder I can’t get over him.
Snap out of it, Jamie.
Why am I being so gloomy anyway? Tyler just gave me the best night of my life and he’s treating me nicely even in the afterglow. And I’m sure that he won’t make a big deal out of what happened and we’ll be able to carry on as we did before.
Or will we? I know Tyler will be mature about it.
But what about me? Will I be able to get over this and go back to the way things were?
The mere idea gives me an awful pit-of-the-stomach feeling.
I shift, as if that could make it go away, but still when I feel Tyler’s cum tricking out of me. Oh no.
I flip onto my front, raising my hips high and clenching hard. The position sucks, but I don’t wanna lose another drop.
I hear approaching footsteps and a sharp intake of breath as they stop.
“What are you doing, Jamie? You’re gonna give yourself a kink in the neck.”
I turn my head towards Tyler just as he’s setting some items on the nightstand. I almost pout when I see he’s put on clothes. Well, pants, but that’s already offensive.
“I’m trying to keep it in.”
“Keep what—oh. My cum?” I don’t expect his normally deep voice to go squeaky at the end, it makes me giggle.
“Would be a waste.” How weird would it be to ask him to hand me a plug from my bottom drawer?
He blinks, his gaze flicking between my face and my ass. The tips of his ears turn pink. “Uh…I don’t think you’ll be able to drink or eat like that.”
When I give no indication of moving, he laughs. Sitting at the edge, he reaches over to stroke my hair. I nearly melt into the touch.
“Come on, Jamie. It’s not like you’ll never get it again.”
“What?” My heart skips a beat, maybe two. “This wasn’t…the only time?”
Tyler’s lips part, about to say something, then pause for a moment.
He looks towards my ass, raised sky-high, before bringing his hand to it.
“As hot as you are right now,” he starts, fingers grazing my cum-soaked hole.
He lets out a shuddery breath. “I’d rather have this conversation face to face. ”
Okay, that’s fair.
I groan as I shift out of the position, already feeling the strain in my neck. I shuffle until I’m seated up against the headboard, and blush fiercely when Tyler’s cum gushes out of me. It doesn’t escape his notice, and I watch his eyes darken as he stares between my legs.
Throat bobbing as he swallows, he reaches for his discarded shirt.
I can feel my heart pounding in my ears when he tugs it over my head, then helps me push my arms through the sleeves because I’m too stupefied to do it myself.
The shirt is long, practically a dress on my smaller frame.
It falls over my hips and groin, covering me up.
It smells—fuck, it smells divine. It takes immense self-control not to bury my nose in it and sniff it like a dog.
Tyler stares at me incredulously, as if it was me who dared to steal and wear his clothes.
“Fuck.” He runs a hand over his face with a laugh that sounds like it’s been punched out of him. “So much for putting some clothes on you because you’re too distracting.”
Distracting? Me? In what universe?
Feeling shy—and secretly flattered—I play with the hem of the shirt. It’s well-worn and soft, and so, so comfy. The feel of it makes me wanna burrow myself in it and drift off into a deep sleep. The scent, on the other hand…that makes parts of my body very much awake.
“You said you liked me.” The words come out of nowhere, completely blindsiding me. When I snap my gaze to Tyler, I find him already watching me closely, expression serious. “Was that true?”
I stare at him, feeling exposed in a way has nothing to do with my being half-naked, but is a hundred times more terrifying.
A loud voice inside my head screams at me to lie, to play it off as no big deal.
Tell him that I do like him, but it’s just attraction, nothing else.
But my heart naively clings onto the memory of him saying he liked me back, and how he held me tight through the night.
I wasn’t imagining the heat in his gaze when he fucked me.
He was looking at me, and he seemed to like what he saw.
“It was true.” I attempt to pull the shirt over my knees, but it doesn’t stretch that far. “It is true.”
His shoulders relax and a smile curves his lips. “Cool. Um…” He rubs the back of his neck. Is he…feeling shy? “Me too. I meant it when I said I liked you.”
Pretending like I’m not about to expire from relief and happiness, I summon a smile too. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” He gives a breathless laugh. “Although I took my sweet time to realize it. I’m sorry about that. If I’d gotten my head out of my ass sooner, I wouldn’t have had to put you through all the unnecessary pain.”
“What do you—” Realization hits me hard. “You knew? That I liked you?” Clearly, all my effort to appear unaffected was for nothing.
Tyler fidgets. “Actually, it turns out I’m too dumb and oblivious to notice these things. I had a little help.”
“Help?”
“Yeah, so, there’s this guy at my gym, Seth, and he’s gay.
Always flirts like the world is ending tomorrow.
” He rolls his eyes, smiling, and my stomach drops.
“Anyway, I noticed you acting differently after you met Lisa. And I figured that, despite what you’d told me, you were uncomfortable with me bringing women over.
I just couldn’t figure out whether it was because you’re gay and, like, straight sex makes you uncomfortable, or because you didn’t like it when strangers were in our apartment, or something else entirely. ”
Oh. I had no idea it weighed on him so much when I started distancing myself. Now I feel really bad…
“I’m sorry about how I acted. I just… I know you gave me a heads up, and I was sure I could handle it, but it turns out I overestimated myself.” I huff a small laugh. “Straight sex is fine, by the way. It’s everywhere. Gay people are used to it.”
Tyler dips his head bashfully. “Yeah, Seth said the same thing. I was just grasping at straws, because I was so oblivious.”
“And this Seth,” I try to keep bitterness out of my voice. “You talked about me with him?” Are they that close? He’s never mentioned him. He only talks about Blake, and occasionally his family.
“Well, I figured that it was safer to talk about my gay roommate with someone who’s gay too.
Plus, he’d have more insight about the situation.
I promise I didn’t share anything personal.
I just described my dilemma and asked him if he had any ideas on what the issue was and what I could do to fix it. ”
“And he told you to bring women here when I’m not home?” I regret opening my mouth the second I say it.