Chapter 9 #2
When I came back around the corner April was ready.
She hopped in my truck. “Bitch, I got those handle bars you wanted.” she told me as she handed me the pills and my change.
I liked popping handle bars after snorting a few lines.
It helped me to mellow out. “Oh, and Tae said what’s up.
She recognized your truck. She said be careful because the laws been hot today. ”
As if on cue, right when she said that I heard, Rurrupp.
The police were pulling me over.
“Fuck.” I looked in the rearview mirror.
“Damn, what the fuck am I supposed to do with the dope?” April asked in full panic mode.
“Shit, swallow it. It’s in the plastic.” I panicked, as I threw the three handle bars I had in my mouth.
I pulled over on the side of the road. I was hoping that it was going to be a routine traffic stop.
Two white officers got out of the patrol car. I let down my window.
“Step out the car, ma’am.” one officer said.
“For what?” I asked trying to hide my nervousness.
“Step out the car, ma’am.” he repeated.
“You too passenger.” the other officer said to April.
We both did as we were told.
“Now, I’m going to ask you one time. Do you have any illegal narcotics on you or in your car?”
“No.” I replied. I was hoping that April had swallowed the bag. I looked over at her and from the look on her face I knew she hadn’t.
I stood nervously damn near pissing on myself as one of the officers began searching my truck. He searched for a few seconds before I heard, “Bingo. We got something here.”
“Who does this belong to?” he asked us as he waved the small package of cocaine. Neither one of us answered.
That’s when the officer started reading me my Miranda rights. When he put me in the back of the patrol car he asked me who did the dope belong to again. I told him that I didn’t know. Needless to say, they took both of our asses downtown.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
I kept trying to call my house, but was getting no answer.
I knew that the daycare had been trying to reach one of us.
I was praying that Jah had answered his cell phone for them.
If he wasn’t at home then there was no way that I could get in touch with him because cell phones didn’t accept collect calls.
“He still aint answering?” April asked me. She hadn’t even tried to call any of her family. She’d been in trouble so many times and they had long since stopped coming to her rescue.
I was having the worse luck. Right when I was the legal age to go to real jail I get in trouble. I didn’t know how I was going to explain the situation. Jah had no clue about my extracurricular activities.
I was sitting in a holding tank with about twenty other chicks. It was dirty as hell. There were a majority of crack heads in there. Hell, even Tae’s mama, Alex, was there. Alex was one of those career criminals/crack heads.
Alex had to have been a regular, because she knew every person that worked there. She was giving everybody the run down. When she recognized me she just kept shaking her head.
“I can’t believe that little Raven is in jail with me. Lord, what is the world coming to?” she sighed.
I didn’t know what to say, so I stared at my feet.
“Oh, don’t be shame now. I don’t know what’s wrong with y’all kids. Raquel is running wild, tripping. Tae and that nigga Jamel gon get fucked up by one of these niggas. And you hanging with April’s ass.” Alex commented as if April wasn’t sitting right in front of her.
That’s when Alex started telling me about Kevin’s case. I had heard about it through the streets, but it was fucked up to hear how it was affecting Raquel. I never imagined him having to kill Lil’ Meat, a local knucklehead, for raping Raquel. That was some wild shit.
After listening to all the preaching and gossiping I tried calling my house again.
Finally, someone picked up. They went ahead and accepted the charges.
“Hello.” Jahrein spoke into the phone.
“Jah, I need you to come get me.” I slurred a little bit. Those bars were starting to set in.
“Raven?”
“Yeah, it’s me.”
“What the fuck are you doing in there?! Your ass been stealing, huh?”
“No. That’s not why I’m here.”
“So, what the fuck are they charging you with?”
I didn’t want to answer him.
“Are you coming to get me?” I asked him.
“What are they charging you with?!” he roared in my ear.
“Possession.” I slurred.
“Of what?” he gritted.
“Let’s talk about it in person.” I said.
“No, just tell me what they’re trying to charge you with.”
“Possession of a controlled substance.”
“Whatever, main. Well, let me see what I can do.” he uttered like he could care less.
“Well, if you can, post April a bond too.”
“April? Who said that I was bonding you out?”
“Are you serious?”
He didn’t reply.
“Hello…Hello…Hello.” he actually hung up on me.
I tried calling my house again, but got no answer.
“What did he say?” April pried.
“Nothing.” I mumbled, trying to hold back my tears. After a few minutes I broke down. I couldn’t believe that he was doing me like that.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
About five hours later, both April and my name were called. She had to wake me up because those bars had me gone. They made us sign some papers and then informed us that our bond had been posted. I didn’t know if Jah had done that or had he told my daddy about it or something.
When we exited the building I saw Jah leaning against his car, smoking a cigarette. This could only mean that he was stressing. I couldn’t even look at him in the eyes. I just walked over to the passenger’s side and got in.
April spoke to him before she got in the car and he barely gave her a nod. He got in the car and backed away from the jail.
“So, you aint got shit to say, Jail Bird?” he asked sarcastically.
I didn’t reply. I wanted to go back to sleep and forget that day ever happened.
“You hear me talking to you?” he asked me seriously.
“What do you want me to say?” I hunched my shoulders.
“First, tell me what they caught you with?” If he went through all the trouble of bonding us out, he probably already knew what I had. He just wanted to hear me say it.
“Cocaine.” I breathed.
That muthafucka pulled over on the side of the road and slapped the shit out of me. The blow was so hard that it caused my head to bang against the window.
“Cocaine?! What the fuck were you thinking? Aint that how we eat? Aint that what I serve those fiends?! So, you a crack head now?” he asked me enraged. I had never seen him that mad before.
“I’m sorry.” I cried.
“You sorry? Bitch, those people was talking about calling CPS for my kids when you didn’t show up to get them. You sorry?! I hustle so that you won’t have to get your hands dirty. Bitch, you don lost your damn mind!”
He was now throwing blows left and right. April just sat back and watched, horrified. For once I didn’t try to fight back. I took those blows, because I deserved them. I had really fucked up. I had jeopardized my children for a high.
Finally, Jahrein got tired of whipping my ass and resumed driving.
He dropped April off in Fifth Ward. I thought about just hopping out with her, because I knew that Jahrein was not about to let me live that day down.
I reached for the door and Jahrein locked my door, while glaring at me.
So, I didn’t say a word as we headed to Red’s house.
When he pulled up in her driveway I didn’t want to get out.
“Come on.” he ordered, as he exited the car. “Don’t act like you can’t talk now.”
After a few minutes of just sitting there he snatched my door open and yanked me out. “Get your ass out!”
I snatched away from him and then took my time getting to the front door. Once I walked completely inside I saw my daddy and Red sitting on the couch, waiting.
“What the fuck happened to you?” my daddy questioned, wasting no time.
“April had some powder in my truck.” I mumbled, hating being placed in the hot seat.
“So, you hanging out with hoes that’s fucking with that shit?” Ray-Ray scrunchedd. How could I tell him that I was one of those hoes?
I just stood there staring at my feet.
“Raven, I don’t know what has gotten into you lately, but you need to chill out.” Red spoke up, which was rare.
Jahrein just had this look of disgust written all over his face. I had never felt that low in my life. At that point I was wishing that I could take everything back. I didn’t try cocaine to hurt my family.
“Raven, are you doing powder?” my daddy asked.
I didn’t want to come across as a liar and it wouldn’t be hard for them to figure it out. I had been doing it a lot lately and people talked. All they had to do was ask the wrong person and my business would be out on Front Street.
“Sometimes.” I replied just above a whisper.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Jahrein blurted. He actually had tears in his eyes.
“I only do it every once in a while.” I tried to get him to understand.
“Why, Raven? Is your life with me that bad that you have to use drugs?” Jah wanted to know. That broke my heart. The truth was that I felt that there was something missing in my life. That something couldn’t be replaced by him.
“It don’t have nothing to do with you.” I admitted. I felt like they were having one of those interventions, like I was a real live crack head. After that shit I couldn’t see myself getting high again. I just couldn’t see it.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Jahrein paid for me and April’s lawyer. Since April already had a criminal background Jah asked her to claim the cocaine.
If she didn’t we’d both still end up doing a little time.
He promised her that he’d put money on her books and make sure that she was straight.
Surprisingly, she agreed and only had to do two weeks in the county jail.
Before she went to do her time Jah gave her three thousand dollars.
I actually got out of that situation without any trouble.
That made me promise to never look at cocaine again.
Jahrein was being extra hard on me. I couldn’t go anywhere without him, and he took the kids out of daycare so that I would have them the entire day.
I no longer had all that free time on my hands.
He would show up to the house throughout the day to make sure that I wasn’t doing anything.
I couldn’t even get upset about it, because I’d brought it on myself.
Then, I really fucked up when I told him how I was introduced to cocaine.
He flipped out and actually got some girls to jump Shell and her sister.
And then forbid me to talk to them. He went on and on about how no true friends would encourage their friend to do cocaine.
He swore that most of the bitches around the way ultimate goal was to corrupt me.
I kind of thought that he was crazy. Let Jah tell it, the whole world was plotting against us.
Once again I was under lock and key. Every move I made was watched.
All I did was sit around and eat. True, Jahrein had created a comfortable life for us, so staying at home wasn't the worst, but I was itching to get out in the streets again. I missed Shell a little, but I realized that I couldn’t hang out with her if I wasn’t doing the same shit she did.
It just wasn’t possible. I think that deep down he loved the fact that I had fucked up, because he had complete control again.
He was even coming home extra early, wanting to fuck all night long.
I guess that’s how he we ended up with baby number three.
I wasn’t even thinking about a baby. I had been on the shot, so I knew that shit wasn’t slipping through the cracks.
You see, that nigga Khalil had a valid point.
Jahrein was probably intentionally getting me pregnant, so I went out of my way to prevent it.
But all it took was one missed appointment and I was a goner.
I actually considered getting a damn abortion, but that nigga could smell the baby all over me. I was only two weeks late and he was already telling me that I was pregnant. I hadn’t even confirmed that I was late. He just knew.
“We gonna have us another boy.” he kept bragging to anybody that would listen. I would just roll my eyes at him. Then when I tried to smoke a blunt with him he went nuts. “You got me fucked up! You aint getting high, while you’re carrying my baby.”
“I aint pregnant.” I argued, as I sat next to him on our couch. “Come on, Jahrein. Stop tripping.”
“Naw, you the one tripping. I aint seen you bleed in a minute and now you want to blow one? Naw, you must be losing your mind.”
“Jahrein, you killing me. Every time I say I’m sick you pregnant. Every time I say I’m craving something. You pregnant. Every time you fuck me. You pregnant. Nigga, aint no baby coming out of this any time soon.” I said as I patted my snatch.
“Prove it.” he whipped out a pregnancy test.
He had it hidden underneath the couch. I know that he had that planned. Of course, it came back positive and he was grinning from ear to ear. I think that he was more excited than ever before. He told me that we were prepared for this one and the timing was right. I was like, yeah, for your ass.
I was still far from twenty-one and was popping out baby after baby. Hell, I still had some months, before I’d even be eighteen. Oh yeah, and we were getting married on my birthday, he informed me.
I can’t lie, I was excited. I loved him. That will never change, but why was he trying to keep me barefoot and pregnant?