Chapter 10
(Bad Habit/Kelly Rowland)
“How many times are you going to apologize about the same thing? And how many times can I take it back? When I’m not the one that’s doing wrong?”
After I had my baby boy, Jahrae Ty Braxton, who by the way weighed eight damn pounds, I was right back in shape. Yeah, no matter how hard Jahrein tried he couldn’t even put a stretch mark on this body.
I was just eighteen with three kids, and still looked like I didn’t have any.
I wanted to be doing something other than being a mommy, but everything I tried; he shot it down.
I wanted to get a job or something, but Jah was tripping about that.
According to him, his woman didn’t need to work.
We constantly bickered about that. So, I finally figured out a way to get away from home for a few hours.
I enrolled in college. He couldn't hate on higher education.
Then the kids had to go back to daycare.
I waited until Jahrae was six months to do that, though.
Hell, I only went to class half the time.
I just wanted to do something those other girls my age did.
I was stunting on those hoes at TSU. They didn’t know shit about a bitch like me. I was driving an Acura utility truck that made them bitches turn green with envy. Then I was sitting on twenties.
Niggas stepped to me daily. I loved the attention. That was until my husband made his appearance on campus. Yeah, Jahrein was true to his word and married me on my birthday. That shocked the hell out of everybody, including myself.
Jahrein always swore that he was gonna make me his wife, but honestly I figured that it was all talk. It wasn't like I was pressuring him. The idea of marriage actually scared me. I didn't know if I was adult enough for that type of relationship.
I remembered asking him the morning of the wedding. “Jahrein, are you sure that you wanna do this?”
We were lying in bed, as he grabbed my hand and clasped our fingers. “There aint too much in this world I'm sure about.”
He stared intently into my eyes. “But this...I know. It aint a doubt in my mind. This is what gotta be done. You have to have my last name. Aint no and if's or but's.”
I gulped. “How...can...how can you be so sure?”
He stared at the ceiling, as he gripped my hand tighter. “Cause I know that I aint never gonna stop loving you. Shit, you been my wife.” he faced me. “Just making it official. Letting these boys know that they aint got nothin' coming. This shit is for life.”
With that I took his hand in marriage, and became Mrs. Braxton.
We had a nice wedding at this reception hall, where we invited only our closest family and friends.
I truly enjoyed myself, and at least he tried to make an honest woman out of me.
But I hated when he made his appearance at my school.
All of a sudden, I was known on the campus as Jah’s woman, as if I didn’t have an identity of my own.
After that the only men that would even try to step to me were some lames that I wouldn’t fuck if they paid me to.
The other guys who were familiar with the street life wouldn’t look my way out of fear of Jahrein’s raft.
Jah was becoming larger than life and it was getting on my damn nerves. I had bitches wanting to fight me that I didn’t even know. Dry hating and shit. Then there were chicks trying to associate themselves with me just because of my man. I could do without all the street fame and drama.
Shit, I was a celebrity in my mind, so I didn’t need to ride my man’s coattail.
My hair was still long and bouncy. The ass was still bodacious, the waist was still slender, and the breasts were still perky.
I was often told that I could shop at the thrift stores and still look like I’d just stepped off the runway, so the fact that I could dress my ass off made me untouchable.
I had graduated from the Hilfiger and Baby Phat to Gucci and Prada.
I didn’t have to have a huge logo on my gear. My style spoke for itself.
Being that I was always fresh to death, I rushed to the nail shop one day after breaking a nail.
After the Asian lady finished repairing my nail I wanted to hurry to the mall before I had to pick up the kids.
But I still had to go get my hair touched up before I could even do that.
I was talking on my cell phone and really wasn’t paying attention to my surroundings.
That’s how I ran smack dead into his chest.
“Damn, sexy.”
I looked up to find Khalil staring at me. Just one look in his eyes had me wet. I hadn’t seen him in about two or three years, and he was still just as fine as the last time I‘d laid eyes on him.
“Hey.” I spoke and tried to keep it moving.
“No, you can’t get away that easy.” he insisted, as he grabbed my arm.
He was checking me out. I knew that I was killing him in my pink alligator print Versace jeans, white halter top, and gold stilettos.
He had me too. His cologne smelled sweet, and was rocking the hell out of a Gucci unit.
I was so caught up that I tripped out for a second, completely forgetting that Jah was still sitting on the phone.
In fact, I could hear Jahrein screaming in the phone. “Raven! Raven! Who is that nigga? Who are you talking to?”
I placed the phone to my ear. “What are you talking about?” I tried to throw him off. I thought that Khalil would realize that I didn’t have time, and dismiss his self, but that didn’t happen.
“I heard a nigga’s voice!” Jahrein roared, sounding like he was about to blow a head gasket.
I smacked my lips. “Jah, you tripping. This phone is about to go dead. I’ll see you at home in a few.” I told him before my cell shut off. My cell phone was really dead and I was going to do a bunch of explaining when I made it home, trust.
“I see that nigga still got you on a short leash.”
I rolled my eyes. “What leash?”
“Come on, baby girl, let’s not play crazy. You and I both know your situation. Yo nigga smashing everything moving, and keeping your under lock and key.”
I rolled my eyes.
“And why you never called me? I thought that we had something good going.”
I waved him off. “Man, that was so long ago. Do you know how much shit has happened since I hung out with you?”
“Hung out? Don’t you mean fucked?”
“Whatever.” I sighed.
“But yeah, I always keep up with Baby Girl. You had Jhyrah and then Jahrae. You got your ass locked up once. You now go to TSU and you still the baddest broad that I ever seen.”
So, he was up on game. He even knew my damn kids’ names. Somebody had been giving him an ear full. “Okay, so somebody’s been talking my business. That’s cool, but I gotta go.” I attempted to walk away.
Once again he grabbed me. “Man, I wish I had that nigga’s hand cause I would cut mine off.
You’s a loyal broad. I bet that I’m the only nigga to get you to step out on him, huh?
” When I didn’t answer he continued. “I can see it in your eyes. You still feeling me, and we both know that your nigga is still doing his thing. We might as well have a little fun of our own. What he don’t know won’t hurt him. ”
Yeah, that nigga thought that he was the shit.
True, he was the only man that I had slept with other than Jah, but he didn’t know me.
Besides, he was the last nigga to talk. It wasn't like he was an angel.
Plenty of bitches had been in the hood fighting over him, but he wanted to put Jahrein on blast.
“Let me go.” I gritted.
Finally, he toned it down a bit. “Don’t do me like that, Pretty Girl. Just give me a shot. Make your next move your best move. I promise that if you ever give me a real chance that I will spoil your fine ass rotten.”
“I gotta go.”
“A’ight. Here.” he said as he handed me a card with two cell phone numbers on it. “You call me the next time he makes you cry.”
For some reason I took the card. Then I made my way to the beauty shop, right next door to the nail shop. I decided to skip the mall and just go get my hair done, before it was time to go get the kids.
I stepped into Shan’s beauty shop and all eyes were on me.
I think that they had spotted me talking to Khalil just before I came inside.
Those bitches didn’t like that. He was on the most wanted list and the last thing they wanted to see was him all up in my face.
I saw a few hoes whispering at the corner of my eyes. I was used to that catty shit.
“Shan, how many people you got in front of me?” I asked as I took a seat in the waiting area.
“You’re next.” She replied as she straightened a girl’s hair.
Since, I couldn’t talk on my cell phone I decided to skim through some magazines while I waited. Until a group of chicks walked in, making a bunch of noise. Some of the faces were familiar while others weren’t. There was one girl that seemed real familiar, but I just couldn’t place her face.
She was light skinned with a huge round pregnant belly. She gave me a stank look as she sat two seats down from me. I gave her a fucked up look right back. She and her little friends were whispering and staring. It went on for a few minutes before I just had to say something.
“Uh, is there a fucking problem?” I asked the entire group. This got the attention of everybody in the shop.
“Excuse you.” The pregnant broad, said as she sat up in her seat.
“Y’all keep looking at me like y’all have a problem.” I spoke calmly.
“Little girl, please.” The pregnant bitch spoke up again.
“I fight pregnant bitches.” I warned her as I stood.
“Hey, hey Raven. Y’all chill out over there. I’m trying to make my money and keep the peace.” Shan interrupted.
I took a seat. “I’m good. I was just trying figure out why these broads were looking at me like I got shit on my face.”
“Red, mama, you good over there? It aint no problems is it?” Shan asked the pregnant broad.