Chapter 14
Zoe
I’m scared that I’ll be stuck in Charlotte’s shadow forever. I know that sounds ridiculous, because someday we won’t even go to the same school anymore, but I still can’t shake the idea.
—P
Yawning, my limbs heavy, I sit on the floor in the ballet studio.
I’m exhausted. I didn’t sleep well all weekend, which is no wonder, but it still sucks.
You’d think it wouldn’t wear me out so much to lie in bed for two days, watching one show after another.
Soon the episodes all blend together, and you don’t even know what they’re about anymore because your mind keeps wandering everywhere but the present.
Mae tried to lure me out of my room twice, but I pretended I had a headache and holed up for a while.
Yesterday evening, she just barged in with ice cream, chocolate, and a pot of tea and cuddled up on the bed with me.
Then we started a new series, even though I was too distracted to follow it.
She didn’t ask me what was wrong. Maybe she knew that she wouldn’t get an answer out of me anyway.
But she stayed, in one day becoming a better friend to me than Charlotte was for almost fifteen years.
“Oh my God! Is that Charlotte Hammond?” Jessica asks breathlessly. She’s sitting right next to me, and her words seem unnaturally loud. Did she read my mind?
She pokes me. “Zoe, look! That’s Charlotte Hammond. In our class. Oh my God!”
All at once, I hear her voice, and my heart almost stops. The far too familiar, much too shrill voice that rings in my ears and doesn’t belong in this ballet studio.
“Oooh, Zoe, there you are!”
Somehow, I manage to get to my feet and turn around just in time to see Charlotte walking toward me with a beaming smile on her face.
She moves so fluidly, and her steps are so light that it almost looks like she’s floating.
She throws her arms around me, and I’m too shocked to avoid her—too shocked to react at all.
Charlotte is here. Why is she here?
My heart is racing, trying to escape from the cage of my ribs and run away.
But it’s trapped, just like me. There’s a rushing sound in my ears.
Charlotte lets go of me so she can look at me, but she’s still holding my arms. It’s terrible.
It’s all completely wrong. I want to pull away, but I can’t move.
My body is totally paralyzed. It’s shock; I’m sure of it.
I was caught completely by surprise by her sudden appearance.
She shouldn’t be here. Not in this course, not even in Boston.
She’s supposed to be in Paris, where she spent the last year.
Thousands of miles, but also an entire ocean, are supposed to be between us.
Charlotte’s lips are moving, but I can’t understand what she’s saying. Over her shoulder, I can see that everyone is staring at us.
“Surprise!” she says, and I wonder who she wanted to surprise, although it’s pretty clear it’s me. But I never want to be surprised by her ever again. Her surprises always hurt.
“So that was the news she mentioned in her last video,” I hear someone whisper. I think it’s Kaya. Her voice sounds scarily reverent. News? Video? What the hell is going on here?
“Well, did you miss me?” Charlotte asks when I don’t answer.
She’s still holding my arms tightly. I want to slap her hands away, but I still can’t move.
The fascinated looks on the others’ faces aren’t helping at all.
How do they know who Charlotte is? I have an unnerving feeling that I’ve missed something vitally important.
“I—” I start to say, not knowing how to reply. But Charlotte dismisses my effort with a wave of her hand.
“That’s okay, you don’t need to apologize,” she says, and I don’t understand anything anymore. “I don’t hold it against you that you lied. It’s all water under the bridge. Forgive and forget, right?” She gives me her most radiant smile, and I’m freezing cold when the pieces finally fall together.
She doesn’t hold it against me? Forgive and forget?
I feel so sick that I might really throw up in front of everyone this time.
“What are you doing here?” I finally say. My voice comes out choked and far too quiet.
She ignores my tone of voice, and her smile widens.
Her ice-blue eyes gleam. “Why else? To dance, silly. I know I missed the first week, but I had a performance in New York, and Pearson said it was okay if I started a few days later. With my kind of talent, a week is no great loss.” She shrugs her delicate shoulders, and only now do I realize that she’s lost weight.
Her collar bone is clearly sticking out, her cheekbones and jawline are sharper.
She looks older. More grown-up. And she’s here.
I’m getting dizzy. This can’t be true. This has to be a nightmare. Don’t I have enough problems already? Why does Charlotte, of all people, have to show up here?
“How nice for you,” Mae responds, because I seem to have lost the ability to speak.
“Isn’t it?” Charlotte turns to Mae with the same smile, but I know the expression in her eyes. She’s not thrilled that Mae is joining our conversation.
“Totally! But I think—” Mae stops when Mr. Conrad enters the ballet studio and immediately notices Charlotte.
“Charlotte Hammond?” He looks at Charlotte in a way that I’ve never seen him look at a girl in our class before. As though she were something special.
“Yes. Hi. That’s me.” She takes a step toward him and engages him in conversation, eyelashes fluttering.
I sink to the ground as though I’ve been anesthetized. The day has only just started, and I already wish that it was over.
“You know Charlotte Hammond?” Kaya asks, and I look up.
How long has she been sitting right next to me?
And she’s not the only one. A few moments ago, only Mae and Jessica were sitting on the floor with me, and now a whole crowd of girls are standing around us, staring at me curiously with wide eyes.
“We went to school together,” I explain, my voice raspy. My mouth is dry, and I need something to drink. But for that, I would have to get up and get my bag. I don’t know if my legs will hold me.
“That’s amazing.” Kaya’s eyes get wider.
“Sorry that I don’t share your enthusiasm, but can anyone tell me how you all know that girl?” Mae says and looks around curiously.
I send her a grateful glance because now I don’t have to ask the question. Mae gives me an encouraging smile. Of course she realizes how much Charlotte’s unexpected appearance has thrown me off balance.
“Don’t you have TikTok?” Kaya asks.
Mae and I both shake our heads. I’ve avoided social media like the plague over the last few months.
“Okay, wait a sec.” Kaya jumps up and comes back a moment later with her phone in her hand. She opens the app and shows us Charlotte’s profile, @charlottehammond.ballerina. I shudder when I see how many followers she has. Almost seven hundred thousand.
“She’s next level,” Jessica says with a sigh, an almost dreamy expression on her face. “I mean, you can see that she’s beautiful, but she’s so talented and just seems super nice.”
I flinch a little. Charlotte is many things, but she’s certainly not nice.
She’s just a damn good actress. A beautiful girl with big doe eyes who can hypnotize the entire world.
But behind the facade, behind the sweet smile and the charm, she’s a monster.
It’s just that nobody looks closely enough to realize it.
* * *
Half of the students are in an uproar just because Charlotte is here. I can’t understand it. I don’t get what she’s doing here or why everyone is fawning on her like she’s Anna Pavlova. She’s good. She’s even very good, but she’s also nothing special. At least when it comes to dancing.
Somehow, Charlotte managed to get into every single one of my classes.
Her mother probably helped, because her daughter always gets what she wants.
And if it wasn’t her mother, it was her father, the mayor.
At least she doesn’t live in our dormitory.
In the short break between classes, she explained to everyone that the rooms here are way too small, so her parents rented her an apartment nearby.
The other girls hang on her every word as though she’s sharing ancient wisdom.
I want to wake them up and tell them that this version of Charlotte isn’t real.
I want to tell them that she’s only playing with them, laying it on thick until they let down their guards so she can catch them unaware.
The problem with Charlotte is that she can make anyone believe whatever she says. She’s just one of those people. Charismatic. Charming. She sparkles brightly, dazzling everyone.
Mae is the only one in our class who isn’t clinging to Charlotte like a fangirl, and I don’t know if it’s because she noticed that I have a problem with Charlotte or because she just isn’t interested in her.
I hope it’s both, but I can’t ask her, because then I’ll have to explain what my problem with Charlotte is, and I can’t do that.
Luckily, my question is answered before the third lesson has even begun.
“God, she’s unbearable! How did you stand her?” Mae whispers so that only I can hear her. We’re sitting on the floor in the ballet studio, and she’s reaching over her legs to stretch while I pull my knees to my chest and do my best not to fall apart.
Charlotte is standing with Kaya, Kelly, and a few others, still laying on the charm.
“You don’t want to know,” I murmur. I’m just about to explain when Charlotte squeals with delight. I look up just in time to see her throw her arms around Jase as he enters the studio with Skye.
His eyes widen in surprise, and then his gaze hardens. He grabs Charlotte by the arms and firmly pushes her away from him. Maybe that’s why my heart skips a beat.
“Charlotte, what are you doing here?”
“What does it look like?” She laughs, a shrill, familiar sound that hurts my ears. “I’m here to dance.”
“Good luck, then,” he says gruffly, not sounding a bit like he means it.
He tries to walk past her, but she blocks his path and puts a hand on his chest. I can see his jaw muscles clenching.
I should look away because it’s none of my business what Jase does, but this is Charlotte.
It’s like being a rubbernecker at an accident. I can’t help looking.
“I’m really happy to see you again.” Her voice takes on a deep, seductive tone that makes me want to puke.
Jase starts to answer but is interrupted by Francesca rushing gracefully into the room.
“Sorry I’m late, I had an important meeting. Your break is over. Take your places with your partners. We have a lot to do.” She claps decisively, and I get up from the floor on wobbly legs to go over to Jase. I still haven’t reached him when Charlotte takes a step forward.
“Excuse me, Miss, this is my first day, so I don’t have a partner yet.” She pouts a little, and I roll my eyes involuntarily.
Francesca frowns. “Yes, I already heard that there’s another latecomer.” She sizes Charlotte up. “I think—”
“I’ll dance with Jase,” Charlotte says, interrupting her.
“Jase is already dancing with Zoe.” Francesca’s tone is noticeably cooler. She’s probably never been interrupted by a student before.
“Yeah, but Jase and I know each other. We’re a good team, and I’m sure Zoe won’t mind trading with me. Right, Zoe?” Charlotte turns to me with a fake smile.
For a second, all I can do is silently stare at her. Everything inside of me screams to say no. I want to slap her in the face for this ridiculous proposal, but I can’t bring myself to do it.
“I don’t give a damn if Zoe wouldn’t mind trading with you, Charlotte. I mind.”
I turn to look at Jase, too surprised to hide the expression of relief on my face. But he just mirrors back my gaze, completely unmoved. Then I realize his words aren’t about me but about Charlotte, and my relief evaporates.
“Devon doesn’t have a partner yet. You can dance with him,” Francesca says, and Charlotte’s face darkens.
She doesn’t protest, but she isn’t happy. And an unhappy Charlotte is unpredictable.