Chapter 39
Zoe
When you asked me if I’d ever been in love, I wanted to ask you the same question. But I was afraid of what the answer would be.
—Zoe
I get back inside just in time to see Jase slipping behind the bar while the bartender is busy flirting with a young woman in a tight gold dress. He doesn’t notice Jase grabbing a bottle before quickly leaving the room, not bothering to look back.
Shit shit shit.
My heels clack too loudly on the parquet floor as I hurry after him.
I’m still wearing his jacket, and I can feel the disapproving glances of the guests.
I hear them whispering, but I somehow manage to block out the voices.
They aren’t important. I rush out of the ballroom and hurry down the stairs to the hotel lobby, but he’s gone.
I’m overwhelmed by fear and sick with worry.
Sure, he’s an adult and can take care of himself.
But he has that damn bottle with him, and his dad just more or less confirmed his suspicion that he would have preferred if Jase had died in Sam’s place.
Nobody should have to hear something like that from their father.
The whole situation is so damn unpredictable. Because even if he can take care of himself, he might not want to right now.
I ask the two receptionists if they saw a blond boy leave the hotel, but they just shake their heads without saying a word. I say a quick thank you before heading toward the exit. I’ve almost reached the door when a familiar voice stops me.
“Zoe, where are you going?” Startled, I whirl around and see my dad following me, looking worried. “Is everything okay?”
I can hear the concern in his voice, and I nod reassuringly. “I’m fine. It’s Jase. His . . . His father—” I stop. I can’t tell him what happened; it’s not my place. “He’s not well,” I say, and it’s not a lie. “I have to find him, and then . . . I don’t know.”
“Okay. Let’s go. I’ll come with you.”
He puts a hand on my back reassuringly. He doesn’t ask what’s going on or why I’m wearing Jase’s jacket over my dress. Instead, he leaves the hotel with me.
Cold wind hits us at the exit, and I immediately start to shiver. I look around desperately to find the guy in the white shirt whose hair I just messed up a few minutes ago.
“There he is.” Dad points across the street, and my heart drops in relief.
Jase is walking along the street with his head lowered. His steps are slow and unsure. He’s swaying a little. He still has the bottle in his hand.
Dad leads me across the street, making an apologetic gesture to the drivers who have to brake because of us, honking in annoyance.
“Jase!” He pauses at the sound of my voice, but only for a second. Then he keeps walking. I let go of Dad’s hand, ignoring the fact that I’m wearing high heels, and run after him. “Stop,” I say as soon as I reach him, grabbing him by the shoulder. He’s freezing cold.
“Leave me alone.” He breaks away from me, but I stand in front of him and stop him from moving forward.
“I’m certainly not letting you go like this!”
He shakes his head and turns around to walk in the other direction, but I stand in his way again.
“Just leave me alone.” His voice breaks, and I see an unmistakable plea. Part of me wants to grant his wish, but I can’t. He’s falling apart, and I can’t leave him alone.
“No,” I say calmly. I take the bottle and work it out of his fingers. I put it carefully out of his reach and take his hands. They’re cold as ice.
“Please.”
“Would you leave me alone if I were like this?”
His shoulders tense. I know that he wants to say yes, but he can’t do it.
“No,” he sighs.
“Then don’t try to send me away. Let me be here for you,” I say simply. I take off his jacket and put it awkwardly around his shoulders. I hold him tight, even though he’s fighting my embrace. I can’t leave him to his own devices like this, even if I wanted to.
Not him. Not this broken boy who doesn’t want to be saved and has stolen my heart.
I can’t save him, but maybe I can help him save himself. Just like he helped me.