Jacob – Past
I didn’t make it to the game.
Harry’s hasn’t slowed down since I started my shift at four.
I toss some of the used glasses into the dishwasher, then glance up at the clock. I never cared about not having a phone before Layla, and now I wish I had one just to tell her why I’m not there.
The game ended over an hour ago. She’s probably back at her house celebrating the win. We’ve had a steady stream of customers coming into celebrate themselves.
I grab some plates and carry them out to another table, only to be waved down by one customer for a drinks refill, another for sauce. On my way to the bar, I pass Harry.
“Jacob,” he says.
“Yeah?”
“Didn’t you want to finish early tonight?”
“I did, but–”
He steps closer. “Go. It’s slowed down.”
It’s just as packed as ever, but I do appreciate what he’s trying to do.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. Now get out of here and enjoy being a teenager for once.” He winks.
I take a second to thank him, then grab the drinks and sauce for the tables that asked, deliver them quickly, and leave.
***
I smell like pizza. I should have gone home first to change.
I’m standing outside Layla’s house; I could hear the music from the top of her street.
I knock. No one answers. After the third attempt, I decide to open the door.
There are people everywhere. No one notices I’ve walked in.
I scan the crowd, searching for Layla, and spot her in the kitchen with Amie, Parker, and, unfortunately, Alex.
I make my way over. Her back is still to me, so she doesn’t see me coming. I wrap my arms around her waist and lower my head to her shoulder.
“Sorry I’m late.”
She turns. Her smile reaches her eyes as she lifts up to kiss me.
“You came.” She sounds relieved. “I’m so glad you’re here.”
“Layla!” Amie shouts.
Layla turns her head quickly. She presses her back into me, and I keep my arms around her waist.
“What?”
“Answer the question, we’re waiting.”
Parker is perched on the island. Amie stands beneath him. Alex leans against the fridge, sipping a beer.
“I don’t know,” Layla says. “I think I’d rather the songs.”
“Interesting,” Amie’s says. “Your turn, Jacob. Would you rather listen to the same five songs for the rest of your life, or only watch the same five movies forever?”
“Songs.”
“You said that rather confidently,” Amie remarks. “Wouldn’t you get bored listening to the same five songs on repeat?”
“I could live without new music. But I want movies. What did you go for?”
“I chose movies. Parker chose songs. And Alex, what did you pick again?”
“Movies,” he says, taking a long sip and staring at where my hands are holding Layla.
“Come on, Layla. We need to talk.” He says.
She leans into me. “No we don’t.”
He takes a step forward.
“Alex, let’s go outside,” Parker interrupts.
“Layla,” Alex repeats, his voice sharp.
“Why don’t you go see where Blair is?” Amie chimes in.
“Why don’t you shut your mouth, Amie?” Alex snaps.
Parker slides off the counter. “What’s your problem?”
“He’s my problem.” Alex points at me. “You can do better than that, Layla. It’s disgusting what you’re lowering yourself to.”
“Get out of my house, Alex.”
“I’ll leave when I want to.”
Layla starts to step toward him, but I catch her wrist and pull her gently behind me.
Alex smirks. “Has he taken you to his trailer yet?”
My jaw locks. “Walk away, Alex.”
He’s in my face before I’ve finished the sentence, close enough I can smell the beer on his breath.
He laughs. “Come on, Jacob, want to see what happens if you hit me tonight?” He glances around at his friends watching us. “What’s it gonna take to make you break, huh?”
I don’t respond.
“I do like that uniform on her,” he adds, “the way it’s tight around her as–”
Parker cuts in, slipping an arm around Alex’s shoulders. “Maybe we should go outside.” He pushes him back a few steps.
“You should listen to Parker,” I say.
I feel Layla’s hand slide down my arm until her fingers lace with mine, squeezing hard.
Alex scoffs. “You hear that, Parker? He thinks you’re his friend.”
Parker glances at me, something like guilt flickering in his expression, but then he laughs. “On second thought… maybe we’ll show him just how welcome he really is.”
His eyes dart to Amie, then away from me completely.
When Alex steps forward again, I let go of Layla’s hand. He draws his arm back.
“What’s going on in here?”
Layla’s dad steps between us, pushing Alex and me apart.
“Alex? Jacob?”
“Nothing, Mr. Hart. We’re good,” Alex says.
“Jacob?” He looks at me, then at Layla.
“I was just leaving, sir.”
Mr. Hart nods.
“I think it’s time you all left.”
***
Layla drove us to the beach. She parked in one of the quieter lots; the ground is covered in sand, so you can’t see the road markings anymore. A few other cars are parked here tonight, mostly other students.
We leave her car and sit in the sand dunes, looking out over the black water. She’s between my legs, her head leaned against my chest.
“Jacob?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m sorry for tonight.”
I lean down and kiss her cheek. “Stop apologizing for other people, Layla.”
“Sorry,” she says, then laughs.
“Stop it.” I smile.
She turns around, throwing her arms around my neck. She leans in and whispers against my lips, “Sorry.”
I kiss her, and she says it again. I tell her to stop, and she laughs more between kisses.
She settles back the way we were before, her head against my chest.
“The sea is weird this late at night, isn’t it?” She lets out a heavy sigh, and I glance down at her.
“What’s on your mind?”
“I’ve decided I’m taking your advice.” She sits up. “I’m going to do it, I’m going to open up my own bakery.”
“Good,” I say. “Just don’t tell your dad I encouraged you,” I laugh. “He’ll never like me.”
She smiles. “It’ll be our secret. And then when I cut the ribbon—.”
“Ribbon?”
“You know, to open the bakery.”
“Is that a thing?”
“I don’t care. I want there to be a ribbon. A white ribbon.” She smirks. “I’ll tell him then that you were the only person who supported my dream.”
“And then he’ll definitely hate me,” I laugh.
“Not when I’m successful.”
She grows quiet.
“What if it fails?” she whispers so softly I’m not sure if she meant for me to hear it.
“It won’t.” I kiss her forehead, and she relaxes back against me.
“What else will this bakery have besides a white ribbon?”
“It’ll be painted lilac, like my bedroom,” she says. “It’ll have a Polaroid wall my customers can use. And it’ll have a white counter top with little multi-colored specks that glisten in the light.”
“Anything else?”
“No, I think that’s everything. I’ll let you know if I think of more.” She pauses. “Do you have a quarter?”
“I think so. Why?”
“I want to play a game with you.”
I take my wallet from my jean pocket and dig through the change until I find a quarter, handing it to her.
“Okay, so, the rules are; you pick a side of the coin. When it lands on your side, you get to ask a question. The person doing the answering has to do it right away, no stalling.”
“Is this a real game or did you just make it up?”
“We can dare each other, too.”
“You made it up, didn’t you?”
She laughs. “Yeah. And as the owner of this new game, I reserve the right to alter the rules at any time.”
“That doesn’t sound fair.”
She presses her lips to mine. “I’m the founder of the game, fair doesn’t matter.”
She calls heads and flips the coin.
It lands on heads.
“Okay, Jacob Evans. My first question for you is, do you ever regret dating me?”
I stare at her, then gently move her hair from her face. “No. Never.” I press my lips to hers. “I’ve never once regretted us, Layla. Not once. You are…” I pause. “It wouldn’t be possible to regret you.”
I lean back and look at her, worried I’ve been too honest.
She smiles. “I need you to kiss me again.”
She climbs onto my lap, straddling me. I hold her back, pulling her closer. I kiss her like she asked me to, and by the time we pull apart, we’re both gasping for air.
“I should probably flip the coin again,” she says, breathless.
She flips it again.
I’m not even looking, I can’t stop watching her. Her last question is still replaying in my head. How on earth she could ever think I might regret her?
“My turn again,” she grins.
She moves off me and runs her hands through her hair. “I probably shouldn’t ask this.”
I kiss her shoulder, “You can ask me anything.”
She sighs. “What happened with your dad?”
I swallow. “You’ve heard the rumors, right?”
She nods.
“He tried to rob a gas station over on the mainland. He brought a gun, and when someone tried to intervene, it went off. She was forty-two. She died instantly. She had a husband and three kids.” I shake my head. “He’s right where he belongs.”
“You said you haven’t seen him in two years?”
“I went once, at the start of his sentence. We didn’t have a good relationship before.
I knew he stole regularly. I knew he was into other things.
I saw things that I was too young to see, and I knew he wasn’t a good person.
I only went that once because I wanted to know the truth.
I wanted to hear it from him. And you know what?
He wasn’t even remorseful. He hadn’t changed.
I don’t think I expected him to, but I think I hoped he would have.
I knew then that he would never change. He’d never be who I wanted him to be.
So, I made a decision that day, I’d never go back.
I’d make the best of what I had, I’d try to be there for my mom as much as I could, and I’d put as much distance between him and me as possible.
Because that’s someone I never want to be, Layla.
I never want to make those mistakes. I know what the people in this town say.
I’ve heard it all. But I will not ever be him. ”
She wipes away tears and then she takes my head in her hands.
“You’re right. You’re not him, Jacob. Screw the people in this town. Screw them and their stupid opinions.”
I laugh, then smooth down her hair and press my forehead against hers.
We stay together until the sun comes up, which I’m sure won’t earn me any points with her dad.
We move onto lighter subjects. We talk about her bakery again. I like hearing about her dreams because I know, with certainty, I’ll see her cut that ribbon one day.
It makes me think about my own life and what I want for it. I never gave it much thought, but now I’m starting to think maybe I should.