Chapter nine #2
Tyler stood up and headed to the kitchen for some overdue water, phone still at his ear and getting kind of warm. Maybe he needed to end the conversation. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Yeah, you do. When you met him, for the first day or two, you liked him. Said he was sweet, cute, and smart—the trifecta of boyfriends.”
“I did?”
“Yeah, until you found out that he didn’t like you.
He was totally jealous of our friendship.
He seriously didn’t care that you were gay.
He couldn’t wrap his head around us. How close we were.
That would have been enough to break us up, but no.
..once you realized that he didn’t like you.
..ugh! You began campaign let’s hate Eric.
You became a major asshole anytime his name came up. ”
“Oh.”
“That all you have to say?”
Tyler took a minute to drink some water. And think. He remembered the situation a little differently. Eric had started it by being a jerk to him. Ignoring him. Discounting his point of view. The arrogant shit thought he knew everything about... Damn. Maybe Janie was right.
“Tyler?”
“Yeah. I don’t know. He was a prick. He wasn’t good enough for you. It wasn’t about me.”
Janie huffed, “Right.”
“What’s that mean?”
“What about Lily Jensen?”
Tyler about choked on his water. “What? Don’t bring her up. Now you’re reaching.”
“Am I?”
“She...uh...I don’t...we were just kids.” He hadn’t heard Lily’s name in a long time. For two years in junior high, she was the thorn in his side, the bane of his existence, and all of those other clichés. She had it in for him.
“She didn’t like you. So, that meant she was your enemy. But it didn’t start that way. Remember?”
“She seemed nice at first,” Tyler grumbled.
“You spent nearly a month trying to win her over. When you finally gave up, she became the evil one. I thought I was going to kill both of you.” Her emphasis on evil one was comical, but that’s how they’d said it back then.
..or how he had said it. “Everyone else got along with her. She was quiet. She only started not liking you when you were trying too hard.”
Tyler started to object, but the whole situation seemed different now. Was it true? “How come I don’t know this?”
“I guess...I don’t know. Maybe I should have said something, but it’s only rarely been a problem. Most people can’t help loving you.”
“That sounds like the other side of my problem.” Tyler grabbed another water bottle out of the fridge and headed back to the living room. The conversation was obviously going to be longer than he’d thought.
Janie sighed over dramatically. “Yeah. You’re a giant flirt. I happen to love that about you, but I can see how it would annoy Davey sometimes.”
“I’m not.”
“Geez, Ty. You don’t realize you’re doing it. You just do.”
“Why?” He needed to cut to the chase, or they’d be on the phone all day.
“That’s not obvious?”
“Janie.”
“Fine. Maybe this is why I haven’t ever brought this up with you. It’s hard.”
“When has that ever stopped you?”
“True. This is different.”
“Why?”
“Yeah, why. Tyler. I think you’re so determined to have everyone like you. Love you. Because you think your dad didn’t.”
Tyler’s brain froze. Gears stopping, locking up, nothing moving. His mouth hung slightly open, and he couldn’t breathe.
“Ty?”
“Uh...yeah. I...”
“Don’t say anything. Just listen.”
“I don’t know what to say.” He didn’t spend time thinking about his deadbeat dad. There was nothing to talk about on that subject. His mother was obviously better off without him.
“Somewhere down deep, like really deep, inside you, there’s this thought.
He left because he didn’t like you. Didn’t love you enough.
Like you think you weren’t good enough, smart enough, cute enough.
You weren’t enough to make him stay. And it’s illogical, and your upper brain knows better.
You know? Like intellectually you know that you didn’t have anything to do with it, but underneath in that deep dark part of your brain.
..or maybe in your heart...you just don’t.
..I don’t know. You haven’t gotten over it. ”
“Okay, Lucy...”
“Lucy?”
“Yeah, from the snoopy comics? Charlie Brown? You’re playing shrink here on something you know nothing about.”
“And why do you think it is that I don’t know about this? Maybe because you have never, not once, ever talked about it? You don’t talk about your dad. At all.”
“My sperm donor isn’t worth talking about.”
“See...that’s just it. He’s not worth it, no. But you are. And you need to deal with it. Talk about it. But you never have, so it festers and comes out like...you know...everyone has to like you, or they’re the devil...just like him. Just like your father.”
“That’s stupid.”
“Is it?”
Was it? Tyler’s chest hurt. His head hurt. Maybe it was true, but it had never been an issue. Not really. Like Janie said, very few people didn’t like him. Tyler was totally lovable. But now? “So...say it is true. That doesn’t help me deal with Davey.”
“Well, not practically, no.”
“Okay. So what do I do about Davey? Because I didn’t call you to talk about my dad.”
“No. I guess you didn’t, but I hope you talk to someone about it.”
Tyler lay flat out on the couch, gripping his forehead with his thumb and index finger. “This is giving me a headache.”
Janie snorted.
“Not funny. So...what do I do?”
“Stop flirting. Stop being an asshole to Cole.”
“I didn’t think I was flirting. I wasn’t. And Cole is the asshole.”
“Really, because I thought you guys had called a truce. What’s he done? Said hello? You’re pretty much the asshole now. If you called a truce...then take it as a truce. There is such a thing as professional courtesy.”
Damn. Tyler did not like the idea that he was wrong in this.
All of it. Obviously, Davey had been picking up on it, but he didn’t have Janie’s perspective.
She knew Tyler better than anyone else. They’d grown up together, and she’d faced everything with him.
There was no way he could ignore what she was telling him.
“Fine. No picking on Cole. So how do I not flirt if I don’t know I’m doing it? I mean, seriously. I was just talking to Rico about his bike. I’m a mechanic. It’s what I do.”
“Stop justifying yourself.”
“I’m not.”
“Ty.” She also called him out on his own bullshit like no one else.
“Fine.”
“I’m betting you left Davey out of the conversation. I’m betting that you smiled too much and I’m betting you batted those long blond eyelashes and—”
“Did not.”
“Really?”
“Rico’s pretty hot. Don’t tell Davey I said that, or I’ll end you.”
Janie laughed. Tension broke. Yet, Tyler still had the same problem, and he still didn’t know exactly how to deal with it. And he needed to think about his father and how his abandonment had fundamentally impacted Tyler. He’d never done that before. Didn’t want to.
He heard Davey’s truck pull up in the driveway. “He’s home, J. I gotta go.”
“Be nice, Ty. If there’s one person in the world that needs to like you, it’s him.”
“Yeah. I know. Bye.”
“Bye, sweetie. Call me about getting together.” She made a kissing sound into the phone, and Tyler ended the call and tossed the phone onto the side table.